Parents Not wanting to go to class. How do you deal with that?

[GymMom22107]

Once in a while my daughter doesn't want to go to class. No real reason for it she just wants to spend the day at home after school. Normally she loves the gym and loves dance class and is disappointed when she doesn't have class. Does anyone else ever experience this with your child and how do you deal with it? Do you let them stay home when they want to? My daughter is only 5 and she doesn't do it often but I let her stay home when she says she needs a break. I feel like at her age I shouldn't push her at all and everyone needs a break once in a while. Just wondering how other parents deal with this? How about when you have a older child, do you let them take a break if they want for no other reason other than just wanting a break?

 

[Flipomaniak]

In my experience, it gets to the point where even if they want a break, they feel they "can't." Of course this is normally in higher levels 9-elite, maybe a competitive 8. I know lots of girls (and myself) want a day off sometimes but they feel as if they don't have a choice. Like they made a commitment and they have to practice...ect So if I (and lots of girls) were to tell my (their) mom that they need a day off, the mom would be ok with it, its the gymnast that would normally feel like they have to go.

Am I making sense?

I feel that with a 5 year old you shouldn't push. But she shouldn't miss too much either, especially if she wants to advance to a higher class. Why don't you ask her coaches how she's doing?

At the same time though, you might be encouraging the idea that it's ok to skip practice...

I'm a bit torn... but she is ONLY 5!!!

 

[GymMom22107]

In my experience, it gets to the point where even if they want a break, they feel they "can't." Of course this is normally in higher levels 9-elite, maybe a competitive 8. I know lots of girls (and myself) want a day off sometimes but they feel as if they don't have a choice. Like they made a commitment and they have to practice...ect So if I (and lots of girls) were to tell my (their) mom that they need a day off, the mom would be ok with it, its the gymnast that would normally feel like they have to go.

Am I making sense?

I feel that with a 5 year old you shouldn't push. But she shouldn't miss too much either, especially if she wants to advance to a higher class. Why don't you ask her coaches how she's doing?

At the same time though, you might be encouraging the idea that it's ok to skip practice...

I'm a bit torn... but she is ONLY 5!!!

I feel the same way which is why I was asking others opinions. I feel like I don't want to encourage her to skip whenever she wants but I also feel like at this age I should give her a break if she needs it as she is only 5. She is in an advanced class for her age and it's pretty much what they consider pre team for her age group so then I of course felt guilty about it like she shouldn't be missing it. I guess if it got to the point she was missing a lot of class it would probably be time to reconsider whether gymnastics was her her, at least competitive gymnastics.

 

[Kiwi]

My DD gets like this when she is overtired. There have been a couple of times when she flat out refused to go, but usually I can coax her into it by telling her to just give it a try and see how she feels. Usually, once she actually starts she gets into it and does the whole class without a problem. If she stops it is usually because she is actually feeling unwell. I guess I'm saying that in your position I wouldn't push her hard, but you might be able to gently coax her into giving it a go, and she might be fine once she gets started.

 

[MaryA]

I agree that once they get older and competition becomes part of the picture, they don't really want to miss. Or possibly they "want" to miss, but would never actually do it because they feel like they need to be in the gym learning that next skill or getting ready for that next competition, so I would say that if she sticks with it and gets serious about it, it may not be an ongoing issue, regardless of how you handle it now.

I have friends who allow their their kids one "mental health day" from school per (year? Semester? Not quite sure what the rules are). This has never really seemed to be an issue with my kids so I have never offered it to them. But maybe that's an option? Tell your daughter she can only miss 1 of gymnastics day per session (or however your gym schedule is set up) other than for sickness or other allowable reason. It gives her some controll but also maintains the idea that she needs to follow through on her commitment. Just a thought. Good luck!

 

[Amusibus]

I think this is totally normal for a five year old. It doesn't seem like they have that much intrinsic motivation towards gymnastics at that age as of course they don't see the big picture. My daughter, now 6 1/2, went through a phase like that. I just kept encouraging her to go, unless she was super upset. I guess I was also thinking I paid for it and it isn't cheap. If it becomes severe or persistant maybe rethink things but if it were me, at this point try to get her to go. For us the phase passed after a couple of months. I feel like you have to teach them commitment... and personally, my kids had the personalities that are looking for the loophole and how best to exploit it, ie if mommy let me skip because I am tired, I can be tired anytime I feel like skipping! But that's just my kids, maybe yours isn't like that!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

she's 5 and it's normal. you're doing the right thing.

 

[sglemon]

This may or may not be related. I find when my children are home watching TV or playing video games, they never want to get up and go anywhere, whether a sport, dinner, church, etc... It almost always causes a fight. I had to put a house rule in effect, not TV or viseo games during the school week. I think it also helps with tiredness, they get bored and go to bed earlier.

 

[cbifoja]

I think that any child NOT on team should be allowed to miss for reasons like not feeling like it. However, our rule at this house is that when you commit to a team, you honor that commitment, so we rarely miss outside of illness. Bella would almost rather die than miss gym anyway so it has never been an issue. She is bad about trying to hide illness because she knows no school = no gym. But for rec kids.....absolutely! They know when they need downtime.

ETA: This isn't just a gym rule, the same rule applies to soccer which she is much more likely to want to miss.

 

[kayjaybe]

At that age, I definitely took it by the individual day/situation. Even now, I can generally tell when she really needs a break vs. just doesn't want to top watching the show she is watching.

It is rare, now, that she wants/needs a break. Her reluctance to go now (when it happens) generally has to do with fear. (She was having BWO fear on the beam and didn't want to go, especially when she knew beam was her first event.) In that case, I did have to push her through it. I knew she didn't want to give gym up...and I also knew that avoiding the skill wasn't going to help her fear...so I had to really encourage (and yes, push) her into going during that time. She is now past that fear and no longer hesitant to go.

 

[krisnkids]

For a 5 year old they do need a break so they can do other things. 5 is so you you don't want them to get burned out. However, that being said for a 5 year old, I would not allow my daughters who are older to just "miss" because they don't want to go. That goes for the boys who play other sports as well. Instead maybe schedule a special day when you can play 'hooky' and go have fun together.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I'm with you--she's 5 yr old, so let her take a break occasionally. If it starts where she wants to skip all the time, then have the talk about whether this is something she really wants to do.

My daughter is 14 yr now and level 10--she is old enough to know if she skips, that affects her skills. So she chooses wisely when she wants to miss--competition season? No way. Summer? A day here and there. It's her sport and she knows the consequences in the gym, but sometimes it's worth it.

 

[GymMom22107]

Thanks everyone. I feel better now about letting her stay home. I think she honestly was just really tired. She has had a cold off and on for what has seemed like forever and an hour after she got home from school she wanted to put her pajamas on! I think she really was tired! She doesn't get all that much time to just sit around and play with toys. Her and I "played" LaLaLoopsy and then decorated the tree in her room. It was a very relaxing night and I think she needed it. I asked her if it was too much going to the gym/dance as much as she does and she said "No, I just wanted a break today and I wanted to spend time with you." That was sweet and made me feel bad at the same time. I have a son so when I'm not busy with her and gym I'm busy with him and indoor soccer and basketball and he also does some after school programs. Anyway, it was nice and hopefully it was the break she needed. Sometimes I wish parenting came with a manual!

 

[GymBeeMom]

Trust your mommy instincts, it sounds like you have good ones.