Parents First post ever..please be kind. Crying after a bad performance?

[JojosMum]

Hi there, my daughter has always been a monkey, I swear she was climbing before she was walking. So naturally we put her in Gymnastics.She’s always had fun doing rec Gymnastics, last year we decided to let her start competing. Where we currently live is not the most competitive place, but we will be moving soon into an area with much better gym and better competition.

For her first year at six years old competing I feel like she’s doing great. However, if she does not make Top three at the end of the meet she tends to fall apart and cry, or if she has a bad performance on an event. None of the other girls seem to be doing this? They don’t really seem to care. Which I think is great, because it means they’re just having fun. How do I help my daughter to focus on the fun and not already be so overly competitive?

Also is this a bad sign that she’s just not going to make it as a gymnast?

 

[Tmacs]

She's young. My daughter got way more upset in L2 and 3 about bad performances than she does now. I think it's a good sign that she cares, but also a great opportunity to talk about how it's just one day in her journey. And discuss how she can cheer for others, look for one thing she's proud of at each meet, etc. Try having discussions and teaching how to manage emotions before the meets when she's calm. And give lots of praise when she does stay calm in disappointment. I remember when my daughter fell over twice in a row on her cast handstand, got back up and finished a great routine, and then chuckled about it after. I told her it was the proudest I'd ever been because she didn't let it derail her, and she showed good sportsmanship in the process.

 

[raenndrops]

In addition to what @Tmacs said, help her set meet goals that have NOTHING to do with scores or placement.
They can be about skills or implementing corrections or being a good teammate or smiling at the judges when she salutes.

 

[GymDadWA]

Try not to talk about scores and ribbons in general, if it's important to you it will be important to them, and/or if you bring it up after every competition and practice they will feel pressure to score well. I know we all say "we just want them to have fun" but also often say things like "you did so good you got a 9.5 on floor!" so when they get a 9.3 then they feel like you think they did bad.

 

[Dahlialover]

My kid is not a crier and I have no idea if the things I say have any bearing on that or if it is just temperament, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

When my son started competing at age 7, I told him that lower level meets are just for practice. There is nothing riding on it and you just do it to get comfortable performing in a meet environment, so you’ll be ready for it when you are older. I told him that the medals are just there to please the parents and to give kids a reason to keep their legs straight and point their toes!

I also tell him what criteria I am judging him on, which all relates to sportsmanship and attitude. I praise things like recovering well from a mistake, cheering on his teammates, making friends with his competitors, and especially for being gracious and humble during awards! I point out and praise other kids who showed positive attitude, hard work, and good sportsmanship.

We were blessed to have a little boy with a developmental disability on his level 3 team. This boy usually scored 4s and came in dead last on every event. But he smiled and cheered on his teammates and never said a negative word. I told my son that he was the best kid on the team because he had the best attitude and attitude is what matters in life.

He hears me go on and on about this. I think I have brainwashed it into him! or at least I try.