Parents On a Road to Nowhere?!

[SurpriseGymMom]

It's all so individual. I have had many more experienced parents and coaches tell me it's the hard workers that "make it" in this sport. Like so many have already said, SOME of the young hot shots don't have to put any effort into things in the beginning so they don't learn how to work for it, once they hit a wall, they quit. The "slow and steady" gymmies that have to work for everything from the start have an advantage there. Those same gymmies can have physical plateaus that the more naturally talented gymmies don't have though. I don't think early success is really a gauge of anything other than what it is, early success. It's a long road and so much can happen. Kids you thought would shoot straight to the top get stuck with fear issues and work ethic issues and spend 3+years at L8. Kids with mediocre compulsory years keep working at it and make decent Optional gymnasts. Little hot shots with passion and all the stars aligned work their buns off and go to the National team. Middle ground gymmies have fun with it for several years then quit to do school sports in middle school. Talented gymmies fizzle out and quit when things get difficult. And anything in between!!!
It's all good, and they all took something valuable away from their stint in gymnastics (although I will say I think the ones who have to work for it all probably take the MOST away with them as far as lifelong lessons!!).

There's a reason most gyms have large lower level compulsory groups and the numbers go down as the levels go up..... In our little gym, my DDs group (L7) is down to 7 in comparison to two years ago when her L4 group was 13 strong (and two of those 7 came from last year's repeaters!). So in less than 2 years, 8 girls from the original team have left for whatever reasons. Even worse in the group directly above hers, they are down to 3 girls left out of the group of 15 or so who competed L4 together (and two of those girls are now in DDs group). It's the way it goes...

I'm going to support my Dd as long as she wants to do it, when she doesn't LOVE it with a passion anymore, we will figure out something else for her to spend her time doing and will cherish the time spent here and the lessons learned!!!

 

[l.c.o]

My DD still hasn't hit optionals, but we've already seen it go both ways.

DD was middle-of-the-road her first season as an 8yo "old level 4". 36s if she made her mill-circle. Then she repeated and did pretty well. Then she moved up to new 4 and did pretty decent (36 by state). This year her gym doesn't do 5 or 6 so she's repeating level 4 this season and she just scored her first 37. Should she stick with the sport, optionals will most likely happen January 2017.

She is clearly no hotshot superstar. She's more the slowish and steady type, though she's naturally pretty graceful and has a lot of power ... which she's just starting to learn to harness.

This all said, she also has some fear issues, has just recently lost a few skills, and has grown quite a bit recently (almost 2" in the last 6-7 weeks), so who knows.

Some of her best-scoring former teammates have left the sport in the last 3-18 months. Some of them are still zooming through the levels.

At her current gym, which is also her original gym, there is a pretty low attrition rate. Many kids leave during preteam, and once they're competing, it generally tends to be the lowest scoring girls who leave, or girls who don't want to repeat. But then they're pretty tough on the girls from the get-go, so that's not super surprising. FWIW, it's also a fairly low-hours gym, though that, too, really depends on the group.

 

[Flyaway]

This. I see lots of little super-flexi's come in and rock gymnastics with very little effort. They win the lower levels, and it's all good. Eventually though they reach a level where they need to do the work, the conditioning to counter their flexibility, or they discover they don't have the fast twitch to get the big skills that don't require flexibility. They stop winning so easily, stop getting skills and start to wonder if, actually, they're not very good any more. They don't see the link between work and being good because it's always been easy.

Then the kids who have had to work all the way up are still working, know if they keep working the skills will come. Some discover that while they had to fight for a BWO, they've got massive fast twitch and double backs are easy.

I suspect this is my dd. At any rate she's had to work hard for gym. And she still willingly does it- even though she's not at the top of the podium. I believe that life lesson of perseverance in and of itself trumps any other outcome in gymnastics.

 

[Flyaway]

I suspect this is my dd. At any rate she's had to work hard for gym. And she still willingly does it- even though she's not at the top of the podium. I believe that life lesson of perseverance in and of itself trumps any other outcome in gymnastics.

Quoting myself because I can't edit. I meant to say I suspect that dd may be in the latter group that Faith mentioned. The ones that have to work hard at it from the start.

 

[ZJsMom]

One thing I have noticed is that if a gymnast doesn't have to work very hard and doesn't try very hard at the lower levels, they are more likely to quit at the upper levels when they really do need to work hard and try hard. But the habit or possibly the determination is not there and they give up.

But really anything can happen and you won't know unless you try.

I've had some experience with this. My dd was the more naturally talented and quit at level 8. Ds was never in the hot shot type groups and always had to work hard.

I think the key is to praise her work, not the results. She should learn that working hard is what it's about. I know with my dd, she expected skills to come quickly and when they didn't she was frustrated and blamed herself. When you get to higher levels, you just can't expect to learn the C and D skills in a practice or two. My ds expects to work on new skills for months. In fact, his geinger and Yurchenko have taken a year.

The other thing is that when kids get used to always being at the top of the podium, they start to see a bad meet as an insurmountable failure or something to be ashamed of. It's important for them to realize there will be good seasons and bad. I think the best thing to do again is praise her effort instead of the result. Look for the thing she improved in the meet and tell her great it is she worked hard and did x.

 

[ZJsMom]

One other thing I thought of. I've seen a lot of the superstars that burnout be the victim of high expectations and too much pressure. Often they get fast tracked, skipping levels, and feeling like the coaches expect a lot. I would resist any special treatment and be wary of moving too fast.

 

[l.c.o]

One other thing I thought of. I've seen a lot of the superstars that burnout be the victim of high expectations and too much pressure. Often they get fast tracked, skipping levels, and feeling like the coaches expect a lot. I would resist any special treatment and be wary of moving too fast.

YES! The only times my DD has had gymnastics-related meltdowns is when she's feeling pressured by coaches. Last year was pretty bad, and right before her first meet this year (competing for a new gym) was stressful. She genuinely worries about letting her coaches down.

As a parent, it takes an enormous amount of time and patience to soothe and counteract that. My heart hurts for the girls who get it from both home and the gym.

I get wanting the kids to take it seriously, but not all kids are built for that kind of pressure.

My kid took 1st AA for the first time this past meet. Once she came down from her high (a couple of days later), I made sure she understood that while I was incredibly proud of her and happy for her, there is zero expectation for a repeat, ever.

 

[sce]

Honestly, most kids are not going to reach the top of this sport. Just help her enjoy the journey. One step at a time. Success at level 3 can just fuel her to work to continue that success at the next level.