Parents Opinions plz

[Libby's gym mom]

Hi, I've posted before about problems with my daughter and her backwalkovers on the high beam . ( one day she's great ! Next frightened ) at the moment I'm just going with the flow and not making a big issue and reassuring her .
My question is : tonight she trains for 3hrs and when I arrived to collect her , there she was on the beam too frightened once more . Coach had a long chat and I was told she is doing it fine on the lower bean but freezes on the high but then on the way home my dd told me that she has spent the whole evening just trying to do that one move !! And couldn't do anything else until she did . So I was just wondering what you think ? Coach has told me not to go on at her about it at home and I trust her coach x just confused x

 

[Iwannabemargo]

The coach at our old gym would make the girls stay on beam, in tears, for hours. Many gymnasts are no longer at that gym.

Nuff said

 

[MILgymFAM]

At DDs gym, girls seem to get kicked off the workout floor altogether when they keep balking. It seems both extremes are, well, extreme. My DD was kicked off floor once for balking at connecting her newly learned back handsprings to a round off, and I wasn't happy- but I think three hours on a single apparatus while terrified would have made me even angrier.

 

[Flossyduck]

I hope she was exaggerating

 

[UnoMas]

Doesn't seem like the best way to deal with a mental block, but I am not a coach...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

what a colossal waste of time...

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

Hmmmm.... so your daughter arrived at gym, went straight to the beam, no warm up, not stretching or conditioning, no other drills, no other apparatus and spent the entire three hours there ? I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but mine who is 11 yrs old will often tell me she "spent the entire practice attempting and failing x skill and wasn't allowed to do anything else"... but a chat with the coach/training friend/ parent in the stands always reveals an entirely different story. I think to my daughter it feels like she has spent the entire practice stuck on trying to do a particular skill, when the reality and her perception of time is quite different. I wonder if that is perhaps what is happening here?

On the other hand if she spent three hours terrified on the beam, well then that is a whole other story....

Edited to add : I just re read this and I do NOT mean to imply in any way that your daughter is not telling you the truth, I just find with kids that sometimes there perception of how things are can be a bit different to what actually happened.

 

[Jenny]

Utterly pointless to leave her on beam even for an hour on one skill.

 

[Libby's gym mom]

Hmmmm.... so your daughter arrived at gym, went straight to the beam, no warm up, not stretching or conditioning, no other drills, no other apparatus and spent the entire three hours there ? I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but mine who is 11 yrs old will often tell me she "spent the entire practice attempting and failing x skill and wasn't allowed to do anything else"... but a chat with the coach/training friend/ parent in the stands always reveals an entirely different story. I think to my daughter it feels like she has spent the entire practice stuck on trying to do a particular skill, when the reality and her perception of time is quite different. I wonder if that is perhaps what is happening here?

On the other hand if she spent three hours terrified on the beam, well then that is a whole other story....

Edited to add : I just re read this and I do NOT mean to imply in any way that your daughter is not telling you the truth, I just find with kids that sometimes there perception of how things are can be a bit different to what actually happened.

Just to say , they warm up,stretch out and condition for around 30 mins before apparatus work , beam is the first apparatus they work on and if they don't do what's expected , they will keep them on this for the rest if the session . I understand about not getting the full story , that's why coach will always update us with whatever's gone on and I do trust her coach but to spend that long , I wasn't too sure ?now she thinks she will drop behind in bars because of missing out !! Just to clarify , she isn't petrified just overthinks and she can be stubborn too . I'm going to chat to her coach on her next session . Thx
Oh and she just turned 7 x

 

[gymjunkie]

Sounds like her fear issue is being mis-managed by a clueless coach.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Oh and she just turned 7 x

In my personal opinion, 7 is young for fear issues to be mismanaged. In my experience, kids that young haven't yet had the growth spurts, hormonal changes, exposure to super high skills and accidents that come to, say, the age 9-12 group.

I think the coaches should be more careful and helpful helping your dd work through the fears. If she can do it on low beam perfectly, they should move to a medium beam with a yoga mat and a light spot. Move gradually to having her confident there, then do the same process on the high beam.

I know you can't exactly go into the gym and suggest this to the coaches though.

My dd has gone through her share of fears and I know there will be more to come. It's hard being the parent and knowing there really isn't anything you can do.

 

[Jenny]

Crazy to play mind games with a 7 year old. And pointless.

YIKES>

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

beam is the first apparatus they work on and if they don't do what's expected , they will keep them on this for the rest if the session .

Well as a parent this would be a concern to me, it seems pointless and a waste of time , at any age.

 

[wheezy]

Regroup and try another day. Fear issues are worsened by focusing on it too much. 3 hrs of practice on the one thing that is causing fear seems to be worsening it.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

dunno *shakes head*

 

[Frase]

Oh we've been in your shoes. Dd has only had major wobbles and wanted to quit 3 times - at backward walkover on beam, at backward walkover flick on beam and at flick flick on beam!

I've seen shouting at her, crying, sending home, sitting out, whole sessions just on beam even being moved down to floor and vault squad for the day.

Interestingly during her latest (very recent) wobble, for the first time ever at the end of the beam session they 'let it go' - they didn't
make her stay on the beam or go up the ropes or anything like that - they let her get down and move to bars.

And guess what - she was devastated. She cried and when the coach asked why she was so upset (thinking it was at being
shouted at) dd explained that she was upset at herself because she really wanted to do her double flick.

After bars her coach let her go back to beam and she did her 5
double flicks. I just hope the coaches will now have registered that forcing the horse to water won't always make it drink.

 

[Libby's gym mom]

Oh we've been in your shoes. Dd has only had major wobbles and wanted to quit 3 times - at backward walkover on beam, at backward walkover flick on beam and at flick flick on beam!

I've seen shouting at her, crying, sending home, sitting out, whole sessions just on beam even being moved down to floor and vault squad for the day.

Interestingly during her latest (very recent) wobble, for the first time ever at the end of the beam session they 'let it go' - they didn't
make her stay on the beam or go up the ropes or anything like that - they let her get down and move to bars.

And guess what - she was devastated. She cried and when the coach asked why she was so upset (thinking it was at being
shouted at) dd explained that she was upset at herself because she really wanted to do her double flick.

After bars her coach let her go back to beam and she did her 5
double flicks. I just hope the coaches will now have registered that forcing the horse to water won't always make it drink.

It's so frustrating as a parent isn't it ? And even more for the child especially when you see them so upset with themselves . She has training tonight and just now ( at home )she plucked up the courage to front summi off the end of her beam ! Now this is a move she has had an accident with once where she jumped off too soon and hit her head off the end of the beam! Yet her back walkovers have always been beautiful ???? Encouraged her to do a back walkover and you can see the look straight away !! She did try and although she didn't land any dd was not happy enough . I'm going to speak to coach tonight as he is approachable but thanks
Frustrated !!

 

[littlegirlsdream]

My DD has similar issue. I have no real answer but I understand how difficult this can be. Maybe talking with her coach would be a good option. My daughter and her team mates get kicked off of a skill or an event and can return after they have taken a minute to regroup and refocus and are ready to try. I have seen kids sit out the whole time because they didn't want to go back to it.

 

[ThaBigCheese]

Now, I'm not a coach, I'm only a dad of a daughter who's struggled with fear issues over the last couple of years. But can anybody tell me how in the world this approach can work? "You go over there and do it until you're not scared anymore?" It's not as if the coach said run a lap and she said no. To me this seems like the most illogical approach one can have. Has anybody seen this work?

 

[Libby's gym mom]

Now, I'm not a coach, I'm only a dad of a daughter who's struggled with fear issues over the last couple of years. But can anybody tell me how in the world this approach can work? "You go over there and do it until you're not scared anymore?" It's not as if the coach said run a lap and she said no. To me this seems like the most illogical approach one can have. Has anybody seen this work?

I myself don't find it logical other than I suppose it's like a " fight or flight " response , this is not working with my daughter on beam at the moment but got to say they made the same approach when she couldn't cartwheel the beam and it worked ! But the same solution dosnt always work from one day to the next either