Parents Pirouettes , blind , front giants

[amiandjim]

I’m just going to say, taking a child out of a training group for a tear in her eye, is just crazy. I feel like we are missing part of the picture here.

 

[Gymmom2020]

I’m just going to say, taking a child out of a training group for a tear in her eye, is just crazy. I feel like we are missing part of the picture here.

I agree. Well it comes down to the fact that I’m just going to have to have an honest conversation with the coaches. She loves all her coaches and usually everything runs smoothly, but this situation is not making her feel good and she’s confused and questioning her abilities. She’s asked them twice when they are going to move her back to pirouettes and that’s when they say it was because of the tear and that it was pouty and the second time she missed a day of practice and they said that was why.

 

[LJL07]

I looked it up on you tube and there are many gyms that train front giants that way. There is consensus though that it’s not the best way to do it because flying up into the handstand that way is not the best for their body or form apparently. But, I’m also Not a coach so I don’t know. She has worked pirouettes , it’s just they said when she had that tear in her eye she was being taken off for bad behavior. She’s 11 and not the youngest on her team so it’s not an age thing. They ended up switching her back to the L8 training a few months after the tear incident , but no pirouettes or blinds they just started training on front giants and that is all she had been working on besides her routine, and stalders. But, it makes no sense to give her front giants to practice and not do pirouettes when she’s back on level 8 training. I’m not a coach but I think she should be working on what she needs now and not what is a few years down the road.

Funny but I just saw a little girl in Instagram working on front giants and doing exactly what you describe on the low bar. Yes, I would agree not the best for form.

At 11, I think that’s old enough to respectfully ask the coaches what their plan is. On the other hand, I’m baffled by them pulling her from skills just from tearing up. If that is the case, I can see where she would be hesitant to talk to the coaches.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

I honestly wouldn't stress about it at this point anyway. She hasn't even competed level 7 yet, so she does not need the pirouette for another year and the blind even longer than that. Since you say she is so advanced and so talented on bars, I'm sure she'll have no problem getting the pirouette once she starts working on it again. Or, maybe their plan is to skip 8 and go to 9 in which case she could theoretically just learn the blind and not need the pirouette. Regardless, it's good that she is uptraining even more advanced skills like the front giant which surely take longer to learn and master. Fwiw, my daughter is level 8 this season and her team all learned their pirouettes in just a few months after summer training started. They did some drills before that, but really didn't focus on it. And they all have them and are doing great. I just don't think it's anything worth getting too upset about.

 

[gymjunkie]

I have no idea, but I would not look forward to working with these coaches long-term if there is such poor communication.

 

[M2Abi]

I'd be less concerned about her pirouette and more concerned about the fact that they would demote her for having a tear in her eye.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Fair does not mean equal. It’s every one getting what they need to succeed

She is competing L7 and she is ready with the required skills.

Her path to the next level is hers. No judge is ever going to ask which skill they got first, how fast they got it or who got it first, which one they struggled with or how long.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

And you still have not actually asked the coach directly to clarify what the plan is?

Because that would be a good way to clarify.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I have no idea, but I would not look forward to working with these coaches long-term if there is such poor communication.

It takes 2 people to communicate.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

Riiiight? I keep waiting for her to actually just ask the coach. Because either this gym is super awful and punitive or the kid misunderstood something and the story is all so weird I'm inclined to believe the latter until the story is verified.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

As a coach, I'm in a middle of something like this myself. I've been reading this thread thinking "please please please just ask the coach, I'm almost certain that there has been a misunderstanding and the coaches have no idea what you are speculating".

It does take 2 to communicate. I would love to be able to, but I can't read minds. Right now I'm dealing with a furious parent, who is blaming me of not explaining her daughter why she only did one vault at one competition. The kid never asked me, not once. The parent says the kid was scared to ask. I say I'm sorry she feels that way, and I'm happy to explain the reasoning behind this. We had a meeting with the family and the kid sits there not saying a word, and parent goes on and on about how bad they feel about my lack of communication. I'm at a loss, because it didn't even cross my mind that the kid was questioning my decision of her competitive vaults. The parents keeps asking why Suzy (from another club) did two vaults while her daughter did only one. I explain again that we only did one vault, because the kid can't yet do two flipping vaults and without two flipping vaults your chances to make it to the finals are minimal. If the kid asked, I would have explained it to her. But she never did.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Riiiight? I keep waiting for her to actually just ask the coach. Because either this gym is super awful and punitive or the kid misunderstood something and the story is all so weird I'm inclined to believe the latter until the story is verified.

To expand.....

Just my experience at only 2 gyms. Coaches and gym owners are imperfect humans, even the good ones. (Again, not speaking about toxic abusive coaching environments). There are no requirements in human behavior, child development, customer service or communication to own a private gym or be a coach in one. No one comes in to inspect the equipment or the bathrooms. There are no specific course requirements as it relates "effective coaching skills" in the broad sense. There are coaches out there who only "know" gymnastics, have never ever had children, or worked with children. Have never had to deal with parents.......

Add in kids whose interpretation of events can be less then accurate. It really is best to ask. All parties. The kid has one version, the parent another, the coach, another. The truth falling somewhere in the middle of all that.

I know in our 2 gyms, there have been times the coach has had a bad day and could of handled things better. And I also know that there are times where my kid completely took something way more personal then it was meant to be. I also know there are better times to ask our coaches questions and bring up concerns. In our situation I start with an email. If I still need more I ask for me and if email doesn't take care of it, I ask for a meeting at a convenient time.

8 years now dealing with gymnastics, kids learn at different speeds. They don't all get skills at the same time or in the same order. I have one who got a pirouette quickly and long before she had a giant. The exact opposite of everyone else at her gym. There are other examples but this is the most recent.

When I decide to leave my kid in someones hand, I trust them to do the right things. Starting way back in preschool. And if I can't trust them or the way they handle things is not in line with my idea/belief system we move on.

And if I ever felt that me asking a question or needing some clarification would affect my child in a punitive way. That would be very telling. And it would tell me that would not be the gym for us.

My quarters worth.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

As a coach, I'm in a middle of something like this myself. I've been reading this thread thinking "please please please just ask the coach, I'm almost certain that there has been a misunderstanding and the coaches have no idea what you are speculating".

Yep

 

[Gymmom2020]

As a coach, I'm in a middle of something like this myself. I've been reading this thread thinking "please please please just ask the coach, I'm almost certain that there has been a misunderstanding and the coaches have no idea what you are speculating".

It does take 2 to communicate. I would love to be able to, but I can't read minds. Right now I'm dealing with a furious parent, who is blaming me of not explaining her daughter why she only did one vault at one competition. The kid never asked me, not once. The parent says the kid was scared to ask. I say I'm sorry she feels that way, and I'm happy to explain the reasoning behind this. We had a meeting with the family and the kid sits there not saying a word, and parent goes on and on about how bad they feel about my lack of communication. I'm at a loss, because it didn't even cross my mind that the kid was questioning my decision of her competitive vaults. The parents keeps asking why Suzy (from another club) did two vaults while her daughter did only one. I explain again that we only did one vault, because the kid can't yet do two flipping vaults and without two flipping vaults your chances to make it to the finals are minimal. If the kid asked, I would have explained it to her. But she never did.

Thank you for your input! Coaches input is very important and gives great perspective! We definitely cannot read each others minds. I am sorry that you are struggling with this parent. I will be the first to admit Parents can be difficult and rude to coaches. I empathize with coaches and would not want to be on that side of things because parents can be unreasonable. I work really hard not to be a difficult parent because it reflects upon my kid and I want her to succeed. This is why she asked her coach 2 times and I stayed out of it. She needs to be able to communicate and understand her coach. I am not a coach and never once have claimed I know more than them or anything near what they know about the sport . We are new to gymnastics and competitive sports. This is supposed to be a kind supportive forum. There are comments on here about my story being weird and possibly untrue because it hasn’t been verified and your entitled to your opinions, but I came here to genuinely try and figure out some answers because my child did ask her coaches point blank 2 times and got the answers I described above. If they would have told her directly when she asked that they pulled her off because she wasn’t ready then fine, but that is not what she was told when she point blank asked, why?
I came here for advice on handling the situation before approaching anyone because I wanted to handle it with care and the right way. If consensus was that’s normal than it would have been dropped . But, people here were just as confused as I was about it and so that warranted a conversation with me and the coach. I appreciate the advice , that has been given with kindness, in a world of complicated gymnastics. Thank you for your input.

Riiiight? I keep waiting for her to actually just ask the coach. Because either this gym is super awful and punitive or the kid misunderstood something and the story is all so weird I'm inclined to believe the latter until the story is verified.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

 

[Gymmom2020]

To expand.....

Just my experience at only 2 gyms. Coaches and gym owners are imperfect humans, even the good ones. (Again, not speaking about toxic abusive coaching environments). There are no requirements in human behavior, child development, customer service or communication to own a private gym or be a coach in one. No one comes in to inspect the equipment or the bathrooms. There are no specific course requirements as it relates "effective coaching skills" in the broad sense. There are coaches out there who only "know" gymnastics, have never ever had children, or worked with children. Have never had to deal with parents.......

Add in kids whose interpretation of events can be less then accurate. It really is best to ask. All parties. The kid has one version, the parent another, the coach, another. The truth falling somewhere in the middle of all that.

I know in our 2 gyms, there have been times the coach has had a bad day and could of handled things better. And I also know that there are times where my kid completely took something way more personal then it was meant to be. I also know there are better times to ask our coaches questions and bring up concerns. In our situation I start with an email. If I still need more I ask for me and if email doesn't take care of it, I ask for a meeting at a convenient time.

8 years now dealing with gymnastics, kids learn at different speeds. They don't all get skills at the same time or in the same order. I have one who got a pirouette quickly and long before she had a giant. The exact opposite of everyone else at her gym. There are other examples but this is the most recent.

When I decide to leave my kid in someones hand, I trust them to do the right things. Starting way back in preschool. And if I can't trust them or the way they handle things is not in line with my idea/belief system we move on.

And if I ever felt that me asking a question or needing some clarification would affect my child in a punitive way. That would be very telling. And it would tell me that would not be the gym for us.

My quarters worth.

Thank you! This is very sound advice.