Anon Selecting gym advice

[Anonymous (9b9c)]

We are trialing new gyms. Daughter is 10 and will be level 7 this coming season. One gym is an hour drive, more well known, has sent gymnasts to D1 colleges, daughter knows people there, have an option for an elite path, environment seems like it can be a little toxic, larger group size, girls score decent. The second gym is in a rebuild phase, newer, smaller, more 1:1 time, 10 minute drive, no D1 scholarships yet(gym seems very proactive in getting this element ramped up), no elite path yet, (they are open to it if any of the gymnasts are interested), prioritizing quality over quantity, girls score very good there, non-toxic, welcoming, and friendly. Are we crazy for considering the second one, with it not being as established? Thanks for any input or guidance you might have!

 

[Coach Kate]

What feeling do you get from your daughter about her goals? This is a big transition time both in gymnastics and in life, and in 2-3 years, things could look very differently. Level 8 can see a huge drop off in people leaving the sport and the pre teen years often present more social and school based activities as well.

Your child *could* be a level 10 by her freshman year of high school or she could already have decided to be done.

If she seems happy at the second gym and you are happy with the environment and the coaching, I don't see anything wrong with starting out there. If in two to three years, it seems like she could really be a top recruit or there's a true fire to try to make some moves in the elite world, then maybe you open up a conversation about the other gym, or maybe you really get serious with the second gym's coaches.

 

[Anonymous (9b9c)]

Thank you! She has a desire to possibly try for an elite path, but who knows what the next few years might bring. She liked both gyms, but prefers the first option where she knows people, as that’s more in her comfort zone. The second gym’s coach, really took time with her, evaluated what skills she has, and let us know she sees her talent and wants to be a part of her journey. Which, we thought was amazing. So, as parents, we feel more drawn to that one.

 

[Coach Kate]

Thank you! She has a desire to possibly try for an elite path, but who knows what the next few years might bring. She liked both gyms, but prefers the first option where she knows people, as that’s more in her comfort zone. The second gym’s coach, really took time with her, evaluated what skills she has, and let us know she sees her talent and wants to be a part of her journey. Which, we thought was amazing. So, as parents, we feel more drawn to that one.

What do you mean by the first gym seeming "a little toxic"? That's the only thing that's giving me pause. Beyond that, if both gyms work for your family - time, comfort, opportunity, lifestyle - it just becomes a decision you come to together. Your daughter is old enough for you to explain why you might prefer the second gym and she is old enough to have her own opinion, while being young enough that she doesn't see the whole picture.

If you have the opportunity to talk to some parents at both gyms, I would definitely do that too.

Ultimately, it will be up to you as parents to make the final decision. I'm currently just a toddler mom but I was also a level 10 who ended up deciding to do track in college. As a parent, I'm more inclined to do the closer to home gym, at least until we know more about where things are going long term. And as a former high level athlete, I see now how gym was all consuming and I don't regret it, but there just really is so much more out there.

 

[Anonymous (9b9c)]

Toxic, as in, some parents being overly cut throat competitive, not cheering on anyone else’s child, and some bullying issues amongst some kids. The parents at the second gym all said it’s the least toxic gym environment they’ve ever been in, and everyone cheers for each other. My daughter got a new skill while she was there, and literally, the majority of girls in the gym stopped and cheered for her. It was so different than our past gym culture, but it was a super competitive elite gym, so I expected some of those behaviors.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Personally I'd go for the second one

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Do you want to spend an hour in the car on the way home with a kid upset by bullies? If there is a chance of that - absolutely the second gym, you can always go there later if needed when she is older and hopefully others moved on/matured.

Curious to know about the re- building of second gym? Are the reasons acceptable? Do the coaches have past results there or elsewhere to solidify your choice?

 

[Anonymous (70c5)]

Really hard decision — we are “the 2nd gym”: Dream is big, reality stinks. The caches and the gym owner are not on the same page with their goals. Building a D1 path takes more than excellent and committed coaches. Some girls left our gym to go to the “D1” gyms - common traits, ultra competitive, harsher environment, “a little toxic” like you said, and some survived, most didn’t. The ones that didn’t could’ve had longevity in gymnastics, making level 10, but most likely wouldn’t have landed D1 despite it. What I have learned is that depending on your goal, there is always a price to pay on either side.