WAG Should I just back away or push her? Time crunch help!!

[suebee]

I think that you and everyone else (coaches, teammates) need to back completely off. If it is a mental block, any pressure will not make it come back and will probably delay it coming back. No talk about not being able to go to States, no talk about needing to repeat L3, etc. All of that would help only if motivation were the issue. It sounds like here motivation is not the issue. It sounds like your dd wants nothing more than to be able to do the ROBHS. It's like telling a new gymnast that they can join team if they can do a ROBHS. That new gymmie doesn't have the skill to do it yet and all the motivation in the world won't give them the skill. Your dd doesn't have the mental skill now, although she has the physical skill.

I also said in your other thread that since it is a mental block, perhaps having the coach stand out there to spot if needed would be okay since it sounds like she doesn't actually physically needs a spot but mentally she thinks she does. But it sounds like this is not an option in your gym. It may be that she needs another gym that may not have blanket policies about spotting or scratching events. I can certainly understand your gym's policy and the rationale for it, but in your inidividual gymnast's situation, it may not be the best thing to get her over it. I don't know - would it be less of a big deal to get a spot until she doesn't need one? It seems like it would be taking the pressure off. But then maybe at that point the motivation may become an issue.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Time crunch? She's level 3; she's got all the time in the world.

As difficult as it is, the best thing is to relax and not worry about it. Whatever pressure she feels should come from herself and her coaches, not from you; just be supportive, and don't talk to her about it unless she brings it up.

 

[UnoMas]

Do not push her. No matter what you do. The BHS BHS in level 4 is going to be a huge problem if she's having fear with the single BHS. I know this from personal experience with my daughter. I know this is probably not what you want to hear but mental blocks can take months, even years to get over.

Gymnastics is very much an individual journey and your DD will undoubtedly end up moving up at different times than teammates over the course of her career. She will get the skill back when she is ready. She doesn't need to compete states at 3 to move to 4 per USAG, (3 is not even required) so your gym could definitely decide to move her up even without competing at states.
If she gets the skill back solidly at a later time, without competing at state and they hold her back in 3, then that would really be a shame.

Sorry she is going through this. I completely understand how hard it can be.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Technically you don't have to compete L1, L2 or L3. JO path officially starts at L4.

What gyms do are entirely up to the gym.

 

[momnipotent]

Don't push-we were in a similar situation and mentioning to ds that his routines were technically incomplete for meet season totally made things worse. It wasn't until I told him that I realized that by trying to help, I was making things worse because I was making him worry that he would disappoint me and reassured him that I was SO proud of him no matter what that things started to improve.

 

[fuzi]

Ditto the don't push.

I had a level 3 who lost her RO-BHS. First there was all this pressure to get it back. We did a bunch of privates. She was scared and stressed. It wasn't happening. I told her Mom to save her money.

We did let her compete a RO-stop-BHS, but that's irrelevant. She probably didn't do a RO-BHS for 7 or 8 months. One day, she wanted to try it on the tumble-trak. Then on the floor with a coach standing there. Then she said she didn't need us there. It was crooked, but she was doing it and it was safe, if rather ugly. Then one day it was straight and it started to look good again. Then she said she was ready to try to do RO-BHS-BHS. I asked if she wanted a coach there. She said, "No, I've got it." She'll be competing level 4 last week.

Give her time.

 

[ROMfan]

Um, but that's just it...she CAN'T do it. It's unsafe to put her in a higher pressure situation of a meet and expect her to throw it when she's been unable to do so in practice and the other meet. The scratching 'nonsense' is for her own safety. (I really, really want to borrow a line from Dunno.)

But she HAS done it, recently, several times in a private. I wouldn't say what I said if she was unable to do it.

 

[ROMfan]

But I also think , if you're not going to let her do her floor (with or without trying the ROBH), then let it go completely. She will have lots of time to do it when she feels she can. Take off all pressure.

I just think it's a shame for the kid to be crying after every meet knowing she could easily qualify. I'd be frustrated too in her shoes.

 

[gymjunkie]

First of all, give her a little credit. She's a tough little athlete, not a delicate flower who will be "crushed" and "devastated" if she has to miss state and/or repeat a level.

Second, if she is already having fear issues at L3, it might be best to move along slowly (I'm not sure how old she is). Kids who develop fear at L3, generally have a new fear each level they move up (with the exception of the teeny tiny L3s who are afraid to do a single leg shoot through because the low bar is practically a high bar for their little bodies).

Third, pushing her won't help & may make things worse.

Forth and finally, skipping state may take enough pressure off her that she suddenly becomes willing and able to do the unassisted ROBHS during the weeks between now and state meet. If that's the case, I highly doubt she would not be moved up with her group.

 

[AnnabelleC]

So.... What happens at this last meet if she goes and does floor...maybe she goes for it being in a competition. And worst case, if she balks, well--as others have said she doesn't need a very high score to qualify states. Even if she omits the skill during the routine, she would still do well overall

Tell your kid get out there and do her floor. If she does the skill she does it; if she doesn't she doesn't. But the scratching nonsense when she is perfectly capable of a level 3 routine and not injured is silly. I mean, seriously, if she says she is ready to go and balks last minute it's not like the coach can do much about it....no one knows if her intent is to throw it or not. So if she says she's ready they have to "let" her do floor.

And like I said--being she IS capable of the skill maybe the performing in front of people nudges her into throwing it. I wouldn't say this if she couldn't do the skill but she can do it

The problem with possibly balking is that is affects the athletes confidence significantly, and ultimately blocks are not a matter of lack of ability but rather lack of confidence. Balking in front of an audience may cause the block to get worse due to the shame or embarrassment she will feel. Not to mention the fact that she could injure herself if she balks midair.....and if that happens, the block will be even stronger.
My daughter comes from a cheer background where you see blocks often due to back and neck falls (probably because higher level skills are pushed at a faster rate), and whenever the parents get involved, the block ALWAYS gets worse. These kids already put a lot of pressure on themselves....everyone else needs to back off. All competitive athletes deal with setbacks during their career. A block is kind of like having a 'psychological' injury, and it requires time and patience to heal, just like a physical injury does.

 

[AnnabelleC]

But she HAS done it, recently, several times in a private. I wouldn't say what I said if she was unable to do it.

But mental blocks are strange in that they can seem to be getting better one day, and then worse the next and so forth. It can go up and down like a yo-yo for some time before she is consistent with it again. Sometimes the littlest of things can affect it....even stuff unrelated to the gym (ie. a stressful day at school, lack of sleep).

 

[AnnabelleC]

One other thing I forgot to mention is that too much pressure can also cause a block to spread....I have seen girls block on robhs and be fine with standing skills, and then if pressured too much start blocking on standing handspring, and even a back walkover as well. We even knew a girl that went from being able to do fulls to completely losing all backwards skills including a back roll!!!! She just refused to go backwards...period! ultimately, coach can't fix it, mom can't fix it....the only person who can fix it is your daughter. If she is an ambitious little girl, she will eventually try to find wAys to fix it on her own in her own time. Just be supportive and take any opportunity you can find to boost her confidence (even with non-gym related stuff). That is the best thing you can do for her as a mom

 

[fuzi]

Sometimes removing all the pressure can do remarkable things.

Another example: Another level 3 was struggling with her RO + BHS this fall after having it for a while. She just "couldn't do it" even though we knew she could and she sometimes did. Again, lots of privates. She did manage to compete it and qualify to state, but she was feeling frustrated and discouraged. We told her she didn't have to compete at state. Then, she switched to Xcel and announced, "In Xcel, I will never have to do another BHS in my life." Guess what? Within a month, she was going a beautiful RO +BHS. Because she didn't have to do it and there was no pressure.

So, not having her compete floor is giving her the gift of time. For this meet: "We don't want you to worry about floor. Just go out and do your best on the other events." When the pressure is off, and she isn't worried about having to get it for this weekend or for state, the BHS fairy might visit.

 

[raenndrops]

Ok. From what I read, the coach who did the private knows she can do it on her own after a couple spotted ones. We have girls like that. I know OP said there is a no spotting IN meets rule, but why wouldn't the coach be willing to spot a couple on the side of the floor and then have her see if she is ready … like she did in the private?

It is not PUSHING, but it is giving the gymnast the opportunity to try.

 

[momof2gymmies]

Let it go.

My DD is a silver. She competed her robhsbt all of last year. Beautifully. She saw someone fall on it in September, and will no longer do it unless her coach is standing on the floor. Coaches won't stand on the floor. Period. She does it at practice fine b/c they are on the floor. Once they walk away she doe a robhsbhs. She is upset with herself. I am trying to keep my mouth shut. I do tell her that I know she can do it when she is ready, and that is all right to be afraid, but that her coaches wouldn't let her compete it if they didn't know 100% that she was ready. Hopefully she gets over it soon, b/c she can't move up if she doesn't compete it this year. And she knows that and that is adding extra stress to her.

 

[needcoffee]

Back off now. No amount of pressure from anyone is going to help. If it did, she would have gotten it back by now. I'd take a guess that everyone talking about it is making it even worse.

DD had a massive block with her squat on at the beginning of last year. She was told she wouldn't be competing. She was threatened with going back to level 3. She had her coach yelling at her to just do it or get off the bars and don't do anything.

I finally had enough and requested a coach change. New coach was amazing. It was never mentioned. Drills were done. There was no pressure. She got it back almost immediately.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

That (above) might work IF her gym isn't like ours.... The gymmies have to show the coaches consistent safe routines before being allowed to compete them. No showing consistent, safe routines with all elements during the week leading up to a meet=scratching that event at the meet. Coaches decision and not up for discussion.

you're in my gym.

 

[emilykatherine]

That (above) might work IF her gym isn't like ours.... The gymmies have to show the coaches consistent safe routines before being allowed to compete them. No showing consistent, safe routines with all elements during the week leading up to a meet=scratching that event at the meet. Coaches decision and not up for discussion.

Same with my gym

 

[Flyaway]

Same with my gym

Ours too. Warm ups before the meet are the last chance to show proficiency. If they don't have it then, they are pulled.

 

[emilykatherine]

Ours too. Warm ups before the meet are the last chance to show proficiency. If they don't have it then, they are pulled.

We don't even get warm up must at least be in practice the week before