Anon Sitting out a comp season for non-injury reasons?

[Anonymous (8f67)]

Without going into too much detail, my gymnast is experiencing an ongoing family situation that remains unresolved legally, so for now she can’t completely escape the source of that trauma.

She has a therapist. She has a safe and supportive gym, caring coaches, and gym friends who she loves and vice versa.

But the first few meets of her season have been way worse than we could have imagined, and she has many blocks and balks. There’s a lot of detail about the timing of the blocks that I can’t easily explain here, but basically for now we can’t avoid the situations that seem to coincide with blocks coming back.

I’m starting to see this as an emotional injury. If she had a broken ankle, I wouldn’t think twice about her having a missed season and it would frustrate her but it wouldn’t be a blow to her confidence the way this season is.

I’m wondering if I should treat this like an emotional injury and ask the coaches to consider letting her practice but not competing in any more meets for the season. She has her mobility score even though her skills have come and gone.

Has anyone ever sat out a season for non-injury reasons but kept practicing? Would this be a crazy thing to propose to a coach?

 

[Coach Kate]

I would hope that her coaches would want what is best for your athlete and your family. Severe emotional distress can lead to physical harm as well so I would definitely encourage you to have a conversation with them.

If this were my athlete, I would involve her in the team in any way she feels comfortable and welcome her on the gym. If she even just wanted to come when she didn't have practice and do homework or whatever, that would happen too. If she wants to come to meets and be a good teammate but not compete, we'd be happy to be have her.

I hope the legal matters resolve themselves quickly and you, your family, and your child find peace and healing.

 

[Anonymous (d247)]

My gymnast experienced all sorts of blocks and balks resulting from ptsd/dissociation after she was sexually assaulted in college. She had always been a cautious gymnast and more susceptible to blocks but what she dealt with after the assault was a different beast (she reported twisties, getting lost in the air which wasn’t her usual MO with blocks). About 6 months after her assault she had an Achilles injury that required surgery. Stress hormones can impact tendons making them less elastic and more prone to tear/rupture. I will never know for sure but I do wonder to what extent my DD’s assault indirectly contributed to the injury.

I’m glad your DD is in a safe and loving gym. This is exactly what she needs right now. You are correct, she does have an emotional injury and ideally she has all tools/options available to her to help with healing and taking competition off the table may be a good thing for her. Before doing this though I would talk to her therapist and see if they agree.

One study I read during my daughter’s ordeal that resonated with me is that the feeling of having control (or lack thereof) by the victim can really influence healing. I’m paraphrasing but basically the more control the victim feels like they have = more positive outcomes for them. The first few months after my DDs assault were horrible. There were days when I wanted to put my foot down and insist she come home. I wanted to protect her and believed she was most protected at home. She didn’t want this though and was determined to remain at school and continue to be a supportive teammate even though it was obvious that she was not going to compete that season. I didn’t always agree with her choices but I also knew I had to rally behind her and support decision she thought was best for healing.

So bringing it back to your DD….I would make sure first that sitting out the comp season is what she wants. She may be relieved to have this off her plate. She may also be disappointed and feel like the traumatic thing in her life ‘won’ again. Maybe there’s a compromise where she gets to compete one event or compete a watered down routine (not sure if this is possible with her level). Hopefully she can still be on the floor with her team and cheer on her teammates. Safety first though and if her skills are not reliably safe then yeah, the decision should be made to sit the season out (ideally with her input and agreement).

I’m sorry your family is going through this. Kids are resilient. The human brain is resilient. And you are doing all the things to support her healing. My daughter is OK now. Yours will be too.