Someone please tell me we're not going to "ruin" her

[k3mom]

We've recently made a tough decision for our daughter and we're second guessing ourselves. Our daughter is 8. She is eats, sleeps, and breathes gymnastics. She is going to compete level 7 this year, but she is training higher. (She has a nice standing back tuck on the beam and a nice roundoff-back tuck dismount. She is currently working on her round off-back tuck on the beam and I saw her do a back handspring-back layout on the low beam last week. She has her double back into the pit and her full twist on the floor. She has her Tsuk then back tuck vault --I'm not sure what you call that.). Her team practices 16 hours a week. We let her do that through the summer (actually they had asked us to let her go 20, but we said no), but now that school has started, we've cut her back down to 12. She goes three days a week and everyone else on her team is going four, plus most of them are in private lessons on top of that. We actually cut her back during the school year last year too when she was competing prep-op. She did fine then, but for some reason, we feel worse about it this year. We live an hour from the gym and quite honestly, it is a pain to get her there. We have two other kids. On nights that she has practice, she and my husband don't get home until 8:30. I hate that our family life is so interrupted and cutting her back to three days a week, really does make that seem better (one practice is on Saturday morning). She seems to be learning things so fast now. I don't know if it's critical that we let her keep her momentum going, or if it's really okay to let all of us (including her) have some sort of a life. I have no idea where this gymanastics thing is going and I don't want to look back at her childhood and feel like we wasted it.... but on the other hand, if she does have a significant future in this, I don't want to be the one to cause her to miss her opportunity. Does any of this make sense?

Thanks for the advice!

 

[MdGymMom01]

To me, gymnastics is a journey. Sometimes you don't know where you will end up so it is important to enjoy the scenery along the way. This is a tough one because there is no right or wrong answer. Depending on what path you take may result in a different destination in the end, but you don't know that. There are MANY paths to get to the same destination and some take longer than others but you end up in the same place in the end--most of the time. The important thing that I have learned about gymnastics is that you can't plan too far ahead. Take it year by year and sometimes month by month. If the drive and the hours are affecting your family life then that is an important factor to look at. The fact that she is 8 and a level 7 already says that she definitely has talent and slowing down a bit will not hurt her in the long run. And if you are thinking long run and college gymnastics or even elite level, you still have 10 more years--that is such a long time in gymnastics years. And things will get tougher when she hits middle school with the increased homework and the tween years of friends, boys, sleepovers and all that other stuff. As they get older their interests often change so you have to keep that in mind as well.

I would stay with the plan to cut her back to three days a week and see how that goes. Let her tell you that she wants more hours or she can handle another day of gym. After all, it is her sport and she needs to be in control of it for her to last in this sport.

Good luck and keep us posted.

**Editted to say: And FUN should be a big part of gym life as well. Even as adults we need to have fun or we would be miserable.

 

[lilgymmie7]

[QUOTE=
Let her tell you that she wants more hours or she can handle another day of gym. After all, it is her sport and she needs to be in control of it for her to last in this sport.


I agree with this 100%. It is your daughters sport, yet you can not disregard the well being of your entire family. You ultimately have to do what is right for all of you. As the parent, you should trust that what you are doing is in the best interest for your daughter and the family. Raising kids is tough isn't it! Good luck to you! And by the way, she sounds like a tremendously talented gymnast!! If you have a youtube account, I would love to see the videos. My DD's account is under this same name-lilgymmie7. She loves watching other little ones like her.

 

[LizzieLac]

Keep in mind that I don't really know a lot about gymnastics. However, it sounds like your daughter is pretty talented if she has these skills at 8. I would say not increasing hours is actually a good way to keep her healthy as she may have a long successful career in gymnastics. I think I read somewhere that Shawn Johnson only worked out 25 hours a week as an elite.

Anyway, my point is as an 8 year old she has lot of other things in life going on and coming her way in the next 4 years. You sounds you are keeping a healthy balance to the hours in the gym - a healthy balance for her and for your family (which is also important).

Good luck to her!

 

[sportyspice]

Your DD's skills sound awesome for such a young girl, and bear in mind her body has to sustain some serious impact for many years to come to keep these skills progressing, so if you can look at gym as a "marathon not a sprint" then going slow at the beginning of the marathon means more energy at the end?

IMHO one of the factors contributing to gymnasts "burnout" is their resentment on missing out on normal childhood experiences and also the family resenting sacrifices made to keep them in the sport, as you are obviously considering these factors, I can't see any reasonable reason for you to feel guilty about this decision. Are you feeling pressure from her coach or from your DD to do more hours? Every gymnast's journey is individual and for talented DDS, the balancing act gets more difficult as the years go by - enjoy the chance now to make this decision without too much pressure!

 

[LMV]

Our daughter is a little older [she is ten and will compete L8]. She was doing around twelve hours a week most of the summer but recently increased to fifteen and we will allow her to attempt that once school starts. This is less hours than the typical L8 schedule at her gym but we sat down with the HC and explained that we just don't think it is a good idea for her to do more at this point. We don't have a long commute to the gym but she was very sick a year ago and we need to be cautious with her health. We think the current hours for L8 are a bit more than she is ready for. Like you we also have other children and we need time to be supportive of them and their activities and also just some family together time without outside constraints.

Our daughter's coaches have adjusted things a little so she doesn't miss out on any of the conditioning, strength, and flexibility work they do even with the reduced hours. As I understand it that leaves her with less time for skills work and to run routines. We are kind of flying blind here and I can't promise that she will have an amazing L8 season but if it is horrible then we'll reevaluate everything and adjust as needed. She may progress a little slower than she could have [or perhaps if she trained more she might have been injured and lost time that way] but at this point she very well may be training and competing L10 before she turns twelve which still sounds young to me. I will admit that we don't have any aspirations of elite gymnastics for her, so if that is truly the goal for your daughter then you may wish to discuss this from that standpoint with someone who has some experience there.

 

[gym law mom]

I think you're doing the right thing at this time. You have your dd's health and overall well being to consider plus the rest of the family. As others have said if she ends up being in this for the long haul then you're looking at 10 more years of club gymnastics. Not only does it wear the girls down physically, but can be stresful financiailly for many families.

In the end, this decision must feel right to everyone. I would encourage you to do what is best for everyone---your dd will benefit from having a strong family base.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

there is no right or wrong answer to this one. you gotta feel it out as you go along. go with the flow.

 

[cher062]

I agree that there is no right or wrong answer here you have to do what you feel is best.

With that said - gymnastics is definitly a lifestyle. I don't know if I would say we were lucky but both my children (son and DD) were into gymnastics and still are. So the gym has been our lifestyle for a long while now (son is 18 and been at this since he was 3 now he is a coach) DD has been doing this since she could walk and is now 13 so we have lived this crazy life for sometime now. Even though she is comfortable at her current gym you might consider a closer gym if there is one to make things more easier for you. then carpooling might be easier too. That way you might not have to have her give up time at the gym but still have time for the other kids and their activities (if there is money left on your money tree)

 

[k3mom]

Thanks for the responses! You have made me feel better. I guess my fear is that it will be harder for her to learn the upper level skills as she gets older and that by making her miss practice now, we're robbing her of the opportunity to learn them now while they're easier for her. I do understand the overuse issue though. If she starts doing them now, she just has longer to hurt her body. It feels like a tightrope. She DEFINITELY wants to practice more and her coaches have made it clear they would like her to be there more also, but they've honestly been very good about it. We don't feel a lot of pressure from them. We live in a rural area. There is one other gym that is a little bit closer, but the quality of the coaching is light years behind where she is now, so moving her to a closer gym is not really an option. I think for now we'll just continue to try to do what is best for our entire family and let the chips fall where they may. Thanks again! I really needed to hear some opinions of people who know what they're talking about!

 

[dancengym]

Me too! I read the posts and all the previous posters offered some sound and wise advise. For us new to gymnastics, it is great to hear wisdom from parents/coaches who've been around the block a few times. I try to keep an eye on my daughter for any signs of burnout. They get so much pressure from their coaches, peers and themselves that I think it is up to us parents to try to balance things out.

Good luck to your daughter. She sounds like a very talented gymnast.

 

[gymmomof1]

K3mom I agree with all the posts, sounds like you are doing a good job parenting and your talented gymmie will benefit from it. Whether she is in the gym 12 or 20 hr.s, she will pick up the skills she needs Wish her a good L7 season!

 

[gym law mom]

k3mom, don't buy into those tales of the girls having to get the skills while they're small or forget it. Yes, it is easier to do some of the skills when you're smaller, but many times as they grow and get stronger some skills get easier. In the end its probably a trade off. In some cases just because they can doesn't mean they should. At your dd's age, growth plates are open and this can lead to the growth related/overuse injuries.

It sounds like the coaches are very good in realizing that she is only 8 and willing to take a step back to let her grow in the sport at a safer rate. Believe me if her desire is there, the skills will come whether she's 8, 10 or 12.

This is a time to have fun with the sport, fun with her family and fun with friends. Sounds like you and the coaches are making sure all that happens.

Looking forward to seeing videos of her during meet season!!

 

[mariposa]

I agree with most of the posters! I don't think you will ruin her at all, especially since it seems you are very in tune to the fact that this sport is a marathon and if you race to quickly at the beginning, you might just never make it to the finish line.

Your daughter is obviously very talented and I have seen girls with true talent come into the sport at 9, 11, etc and do just fine. I don't buy into having to start young anymore. If a kid has talent and a true love for the sport, they will be just fine. And your daughter IS doing gymnastics already, and some amazing stuff at that!!, so I think she will be just fine, probably even better off than girls that are working out 20 hours at age 8 and have been doing 16+ since age 6/7. I have seen it said many times that it isn't quantity of hours, but quality. Hopefully, since her coaches respect your decision to keep her hours down, they will really focus that time. And I have a feeling she must also really focus when she is at the gym and probably gets more than enough done.

Good luck to her this season!! Hope she has a great time!

 

[bookworm]

K3mom- I guess it depends on what you want for her out of this...it sounds like she is talented and doing well, but it also sounds like you (and your family) do not want to give up your family's lifestyle at this point, and that's fine because if she does continue, eventually as she progresses up the levels, she will be in the gym 5 to 6 days a week , depending on your gym.

My daughter is heading into her 5th year of Level 10 so I have been where
you are and I totally get wanting to hang on to the normalcy for as long as you can...it's tough. My daughter didn't really mind missing stuff when she was younger but as she hit high school, she seemed to think about what she was missing more. We never went the homeschool route for gym because she was adamant that she wanted to stay in school and we supported her in that and her school was great about it too. As she things came up in high school, she did miss gym on occasion (for the Homecoming Dance for example or a concert) and I didn't make any excuses to the gym , I just told them she would be doing these things ....because in the big picture, I didn't want her saying she missed all this stuff but went to every Friday night practice!!

I guess the point I am making is you have to find your balance...there were weeks she went 6 days a week and some weeks she didn't and she still made it to Nationals multiple times so you can balance it out . Bottom line is you are her parents and you need to make those decisions for her. Good luck.

 

[CamSeawind]

Let her choose. It's her sport!