Teaching Self Discipline

[Obeg]

There is another thread on here that is very similar to my question (motivation in a 5 yr old) - but I didn't want to high-jack that thread as I think - but I did read it and took some thoughts from it.

Some background:
My dd is a late starter - she is started a rec class at age 8 about 1.5 years ago (1 hour a week). Last summer she was invited to pre-team at age 9 for 2 days a week or 5 hours a week. She progressed well last summer - loving very minute and wanting more. When she was invited to compete Prep Opt Rookie 1 this fall - she was excited - and that added a 3rd day and 2 more hours. So that took her to 3 days and 7 hours a week and 4-5 meets. She has done well and in her first two meets she has competed well. Still loving it, making friends, learning the coaches, learning the lingo.

Now - this month she has been invited to work out with the level 4 team one day a week. Making team is her goal (and privately mine and mom's as well lol) so she was very excited. This now takes her to 4 days a week or 12 hours a week. She is 9, will be 10 in May.

Ok - here is my question. She seems to be getting unmotivated in the gym. Just like the other thread about the 5yr old - she works hard when she is working directly with the coaches - but is more and more becoming lazy when working alone - doing things half heartedly or not at all, and of course - the infamous hitting the chalk bucket every chance she gets (aka wasting time!) lol

Now when she works for the coaches - and at meets - she tries very hard and does well. But what I am trying to convince her though is that at the team level - you have to be more self disciplined .. you have to work the skills for yourself. On top of that - she has not made team yet. That will not be announced until May. Until then - the coaches are watching. She needs to prove to the coaches that she not only has the skill - but also the desire and self discipline. But I don't think she understands this or gets what I am saying.

I also want to point out that she works much harder on the 1 level 4 day. I take this as true desire to really make team, and also a little being scared and not as comfortable with the "big bad mean team coaches" yet. lol

So - whats the diagnosis?
1: Relax dad - chill out - don't watch so closely and don't bleacher coach - it will work out.

2: She is losing interest and this is the first signs.

3: She feels like she is "above" the pre-team class and really feels like she should be on team. This is not true really as she still needs to learn the skills being taught - but I think that is her perception. Preteam is a much more "goof off" type class too. Plus at 9 she is older than all the other girls so I think she feels a bit odd-girl-out.

4: She is tired. Last year at this time she was 1 day a week for 1 hour - now all of the sudden she is 4 days and 12 hours. (More than the lvl 4 team) She gets home from school at 3:30 and then in the gym as early as 4:30. She also is a very active girl scout so that takes up the 5th day of the week and a lot of some weekends. I don't think it is too much - but I think maybe she has not conditioned to it yet?

I tend to think it is a combo of 1, 3, and 4. I think the interest and desire is still high. We have the option of dropping a day of pre-team since she is doing the lvl 4 day - but I would prefer her not to lose that day since she has just a couple months to make team...

Thoughts?

 

[gymdog]

All the kids are really different and I don't necessarily think these are observations directly correlated with "losing interest" etc. It's just a different personality type. As I commented on one of those motivation threads, it's a lot to expect kids just to do all this stuff. Not all of them are going to appear intensely driven at all ages and stages. I tend to think that at some point they have to be pretty driven if they want to get beyond about L6/7. But even saying that I worked out with some girls at L8, 9, 10 who you probably would have looked at and said "what in the world are they still doing this for?" And to be honest I never quite figured it out myself. But they did it their own way. It's a little unusual but I'm sure anyone who's spent their life in gymnastics can think of that handful of people who kind of just did their own thing. I was always on the intense side of scale, but this hasn't meant much for me as an adult. Perhaps negative things even, you could go so far as to say. This is the big picture we need to keep in mind.

If she likes it and she's progressing I'd assume she's aware of the circumstances and if she wants it enough she will try to do what it takes to show them she's ready for team.

 

[Gymdad2]

If she likes it and she's progressing I'd assume she's aware of the circumstances and if she wants it enough she will try to do what it takes to show them she's ready for team.

I'd say this quote along with your item no. 1 pretty much answer your questions. It seems to me that 'teaching self-discipline' is something of an oxymoron. The motivation and desire to put in all the hours and effort required to do this sport has to come from within. I see my role as chief cheerleader and bill-payer and ex-taxi driver (dd has drivers license now thank goodness). I know that every situation in different, but with your experience I know you will do what's best for your dd.

Good luck to her.

 

[Obeg]

I guess it is an oxy-moron! I guess more-so I just want her to understand that team will require way more of it than she has had to use before. Probably best is to just sit back, relax, and be supportive. Mainly I am just trying to walk that fine line of being supportive without being over-bearing. A cheerleader, parent, agent, and coach - without going overboard with any of it! lol

 

[Deleted member D3987]

she's 8. that's it.

 

[coachinkal]

As a parent of two gymnasts (boys) and a coach the topic of motivation/self discipline is a big one for me.

Certainly an area I am very interested in learning more about.

I can relate to all 4 points "Obeg" has listed.

I am having issues with my gymnasts who are now in level 6 and 7 who at times lack motivation. The issues around this are not black and white & are very complex.

The pressure of year after year of competing can become a bit intense for some and this certainly appears to be the case with the higher level boys I coach.

I am striving to bring the fun back into the class while balancing the need for skill development/strength so they can progress.

In addition I find personality has a big influence on self discipline and motivation along with age/maturity.

I would be interested to hear from anyone who has any tactics they have used to influence gymnasts to be more motivated. What has worked/not worked. We all know it has to come from within, but can we help to build that personal drive in a gymnast?

 

[kbuhler]

Don't worry

Your daughter sounds so normal. Think of anywhere you go to for 12 hours a week. There are moments of boredom for us adults too. Is she your oldest? I always tend to worry about my oldest child (son) and oldest daughter too. My duaghter is a Level 6,11 year old who goes 12-15 hours a week, depending on the week. So 12 hours is a lot for a little one. Don't worry, things will work out.

 

[bogwoppit]

My personal advice is don't watch, let her enjoy her sport and let it take her where it takes her. If she enjoys it and her coaches think she is fine. Let it be. She clearly has the talent, all you can do is wait and see if she "wants' it badly enough. External pressure isn't the best motivator.

 

[NotAMom]

She might just need more hand-holding during the transition. She might feel lost when training without coaching. Some kids are very self-motivating and others need something more. Is there someone on L4 that she can "cling to"? Perhaps working along side with this other kid can stimuate her interest in training more independently from the coaches.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I am confused do you mean she is not working out by herself in addiition to her classes. You said she is real motivated when it comes to level 4 team practice and when the coaches are coaching her and before competitions isn't that a good thing. I have a 9 year old level 5 who is also motivated sometimes more than other times and I was told she acts like a different child when she has a meet coming up. She also gets real motivated when she is learning new skills. But the when she goes to open gym instead of practicing she justs goofs off but I figure that it is just her fun time. She also does handstands and plays around the house but she does not necessarly serously practice rountines at home. I think as long as she likes going to class and is doing what the coaches want her to do during class you should just chill. I would not worry about her making the team if they did not have plans for her they would not have invited her to practice with the level 4 team. I think for any child to go 12 hours a week they have to have some kind of selfdispline.

 

[Obeg]

Ah good lot's of replies!

dunno-
She is almost 10 - which in my opinion is a big difference from 8 and a huge difference from the other 5 - 7 year olds in her pre-team class. I expect that from them way more than I do from her. At almost 10 - she has peers that are in much higher levels and have this self-discipline that you need to succeed. My biggest question is is this something that is innate or can you "teach" it?

kbuhler-
You are exactly right. When I read that I thought about how I snuck out of the my gym (the workout kind with weights and other torture equipment) today about 20 minutes early because "I just wastn't into it today". Thanks!

NotAMom-
Funny thing is she has made a mentor buddy with a level 9 teenager. She has taken her under her wing for some reason. It is quite cute. Although they are really only together during warmups - she sits with this girl during that time and the girl helps her with some of her stretching form, etc. She is also the one that helped her with her first rip. So I think that is a positive. But yes - I keep telling my dw that is just takes her clinging and finding a "bff" on team. That has not happened yet but she usually makes friends pretty easily.

Panda-Girls'-Mom
What I mean is when she is working directly with the coach on any night - then she works hard and tries. However - when the coach is working with someone else and she is working alone on a skill or exercise - she tends to slack off. On pre-team nights - this is more noticeable than on team night. On that night she tends to work harder at everything but still slacks more when she knows the coaches are not watching. --- But from what you describe about your dd - they sound similar - so probably things are normal and good.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

sorry Obeg, somehow i missed that. and it's innate. you can't teach it. and to some it comes later.