Parents Team changes post-season

[CluelessGymMom]

With meet season being over here very soon, our gym will determine next year's level for each kiddo. They've already started splitting girls up differently in practice and they have some girls training with the next higher level team. We are fine with whatever the coaches decide! They know best!

But I do have one question: how hard is it on the girls to change training groups? Especially when they've become so close with the other girls from their former group? Looking for insight from those who have been through this before. We are total newbies.

Edited to add: DD is 8 and extremely social

 

[ORgymmom]

It’s hard. We have been at two gyms and this is always an emotional time for the girls. It always works out and eventually they know so many girls in the gym, but late spring and summer are tough on gym friendships and confidence.

Between two gyms, we have experienced the coaches doing the following before new groups are set:

-split the same level into two training groups. One with higher hours and clearly a fast-tracked group, but compared directly to the girls with less hours and uptraining.
-suggest girls in the “slow” group will have to prove themselves or get bumped down and repeat
-create daytime groups and anyone who couldn’t go was sent to the “slow” group
-created mixed level groups as a way to conceal who was moving up or staying down because everyone started analyzing the groups too closely

My daughter struggled the most when close friends with similar abilities and scores were plucked out and put into “better” groups. One year it really killed her confidence and created a long mental block. The second worst year was when she was just finishing her first compulsory season and was left behind in a group that was merged with pre-team. It was like being a 1st grader, watching your friends go to 2nd grade, and being moved down to kindergarten.

In hindsight, both gyms had made decisions about each athlete pretty much from day 1. That’s always been hard to accept but it makes this time of year easier to tolerate. We’ve already switched gyms once due to moving to another state, but I would consider another switch to get away from the gym’s fixed mindset about my daughter and her teammates.

Whatever you usually do, this is a great time to not hang out in a waiting room and stick with pick up and dropoff. Avoid parent gossip and keep the conversation light with your athlete. If you analyze stuff out loud to her, she’ll only fixate on it more.

 

[BusyMomof2]

Ah yes, the move-up anxiety. I dread this every year. We've been at 2 gyms. One did a great job of keeping you informed throughout the year and being pretty transparent about this - ie, "if her progress continues at this pace, she'll be ready for L7 next year". Then final levels were determined after the summer but they rarely changed from the initial forecast. The other gym was cloak and dagger about it - splitting girls up in different practice groups (where it was obvious who was training higher), then mixing them up, then giving platitude-type speeches about the various factor in the decisions...it was exhausting.

My kiddo is being moved up this year without her friends and that's also difficult. She has to decide what's the most important to her - having her besties at practice or moving up to achieve her goals. Honestly, it's not an easy choice for an 11-year old.

 

[Dad1234]

It’s hard every year for my daughter. Every year, friends quit or move gyms and my daughter cries. However, she too is very social and before I know it, she has moved on to making new friends. Once they start training together in their new training groups, they will all start to mesh. It might take a little bit of time but I think you will find it happens quicker than you would think.