Parents team parents removed from gym

[DND]

Our gym is run as a not for profit run by a board elected by members and the board decides the rules. Even though the head coaches would love to have no one in the viewing area there are too many members who feel otherwise to every get it passed.

We have come up with a "Parents Code of Conduct" that all parents agree to when they register a the beginning of the year and if word is out about negative comments offending any members the policy is in place and it is handled by the board.

Maybe this would be a suggestion for the coach/owner that would help....

PARENTS CODE OF CONDUCT
>
> Respect:
> Parents shall show respect:
> v for their child
> v for the coaches
> v for others
> v for the Club by acting as Ambassadors for the Club
> v for all rules and regulations of the Club
> v for the property of the Club
> v for the rules and regulations of all other Clubs.
>
> Punctuality:
> Parents shall:
> v ensure that their child is punctual for all training times and competitions
> v phone gym to notify and explain lateness or absences prior to class beginning.
>
> Communication:
> Parents shall:
> v communicate to their child's coach any concerns they feel are
> important to gymnastics and their child's training.
> v keep communication channels open at all times.
>
> Support:
> Parents shall support their child by:
> v only using positive statements of encouragement to their child.
> v providing additional resources such as medical, psychological, technical, etc.
> v fulfilling their volunteer, fundraising and bingo assessments.
>
> Viewing room & Lobby:
> v the upstairs viewing area is the only designated viewing area
> v It is a privilege not a right.
> v Viewing area may be closed at times with no advanced notice.
> v help keep the viewing area and lobby clean and tidy
> v all doors to the gym are to be kept closed
> v use calm and respectful behavior
> v use only positive statements
> v supervise your own children who are waiting for their sibling to finish gym
> v do not leave siblings unsupervised playing in the lobby or on the stairs
> v provide quiet toys for waiting siblings
> v no one is allowed in the ballet room. This is a restricted area for Participants only !
> v Offices and office equipment are not for general parental use
> v Respect the furniture in lobby and viewing area and
> do not allow children to stand or jump on it
>
>
> Outcome & Procedures:
> Any parent who breaches the code of conduct will be:
> v immediately expelled from premises if disrespectful, ."XXXXX" has a zero tolerance on disrespect, intimidation or aggression.
> v Immediately suspended in the offence jeopardizes the safety of others.
> v given a verbal warning for a first offence
> v given a verbal warning, a written warning and the exclusion
> from the viewing area for a second offence
> v given a verbal and written warning plus a meeting and a week suspension
> from the viewing area and a one practice suspension for the child if a third offence
> v termination of membership if a fourth offence occurs.
>​

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

It is rather simple. I feel offended because we are not one of those big gyms with a large well known team. Yes, there is some truth to what has been said, but the comments were based on truths also. It seems wrong to jump the gun and boot everyone before taking a first step and finding out the truth of things. I personally am not in it to get my kid to be some major competitor. She just likes her class and I would never choose to go to a gym where I am not allowed to watch my child and see what my money is paying for. I hope that I don't sound rude, but my child's gymnastics started out as something fun for her and is becoming something that is not remotely pleasant. I can't explain it any better than that to an outsider I suppose. I only posted to see if it had happened to other people.

This is something that needs to be communicated to the gym. Maybe they will eventually work something out. If they do not change their policy, and you are unhappy, you may want to see if there is another gym that is a better fit.

I can say that it is not uncommon to have a gyms with a "no staying and watching" policy. It is not unusual to see the pre-team parents reading in their car, or shopping at the same grocery store at the same time, waiting for their kids to get out of gym. We all joked about what a pain in the rear it was to have to travel 45 mins to sit anywhere for 2 hours. But it was like a rite of passage before our kids got to the "long hours."

Wanting to see you child do gymnastics is not an unreasonable request. But there is a reason the management made this decision. Just weigh your options.

 

[gymmom-in-training]

"I feel offended because we are not one of those big gyms with a large well known team."
I don't understand. You're offended because you are at a gym that doesn't have a large team and they are not well-known? How does that offend you? That makes no sense.

 

[unsure]

Lol, no. I guess that didn't come out sounding right. I know that there are big gyms that have large teams and high level girls. I am not sure to explain what I mean. We are a small gym in a small town with a team that consists of under 20 girls none over level 6. It has always felt like a very friendly, family oriented type of place until lately. My DD is 7 years old. She wants her mom there. I was trying to say that I understand there are large gyms out there with a more competitive base. This was not one of those gyms. It was like a big family. I hope this makes sense to you so that it doesn't sound like i am trying to have an attitude about the gym in that regard.

 

[JennyJones]

Remind them that you pay the bill

I suppose they have the right to do whatever they choose with parents, but perhaps you should talk with them about the situation. My personal opinion is that if you pay the bill, you have a right to know how their time is being spent. We went to a gym for a while that roped off a tiny little area for parents which only had a small view of the gym (the rest of the gym was behind a wall), many people complained and they eventually moved to a bigger gym with an upstairs viewing area.

They probably get tired of the complainers, but when you have a small child, you absolutely have the right to see what's going on. Maybe you and some others should get together and have a meeting. If they know enough people are upset, they may think twice.

 

[Chocoholic]

Why don't they just get rid of the TV? Then parents could still be in the waiting room if they chose, but not observing and commenting on the children.

 

[gymgal]

Why don't they just get rid of the TV? Then parents could still be in the waiting room if they chose, but not observing and commenting on the children.

Correct me if I'm wrongbut I took it to mean it wasn't necessarily the parents watching the gym monitor that was the problem, but just having parents together and talking in general. There are always some parents more negative than others and it can create a tailspin of negativity quickly. The gym does not want to expose the rec parents to this....

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[unsure]

Just to update any who may be interested. Last night I did talk to owner/coach for almost an hour. It went something like this... I was pulled into the office for a private talk and told that until further notice team parents were not allowed in because of negative things that people were saying. They said a group meeting would do no good because no one would want to point fingers. I asked what things were being said and where they heard this. I was told just general negative things about the gym, coaches, etc. I asked if there was anything specific that was said because if there was and I heard it I would tell them. They could not give me anything specific. That being said, I still know no more than I did in the beginning. The only thing I did learn was that there were no direct complaints about me. Hopefully we shall see what unfolds in the coming weeks.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

Find the closest public library and use the time to catch up on work/internet surfing/etc. Or join a gym nearby and use the time to workout yourself.

I don't see why the activity isn't still fun for your daughter. Nothing's changed for her.

 

[happychaos]

Sounds to me like the owner/coach is trying to take the easy way out. Instead of working to resolve the concerns of parents, they are doing something that will likely further add to the problem, not solve it. They would do well to remember that parents are paying customers, and treat them as such. If the team parents were pleased with the program, they would be telling the rec parents what a great program it was. Why are owners/coaches so lacking in business sense sometimes????

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

It is rather simple. I feel offended because we are not one of those big gyms with a large well known team. Yes, there is some truth to what has been said, but the comments were based on truths also. It seems wrong to jump the gun and boot everyone before taking a first step and finding out the truth of things. I personally am not in it to get my kid to be some major competitor. She just likes her class and I would never choose to go to a gym where I am not allowed to watch my child and see what my money is paying for. I hope that I don't sound rude, but my child's gymnastics started out as something fun for her and is becoming something that is not remotely pleasant. I can't explain it any better than that to an outsider I suppose. I only posted to see if it had happened to other people.

Wow. You actually do sound rude in this post. People are responding with comments and questions and you are coming across like you just don't like what people are saying. The reality is that many gyms have this policy of not viewing practice. Honestly, unless you request a meeting with the owner/coach to get her side of things, nothing will change by you sitting and sulking in your car for 2 hours. If you don't like the new policy, and if you are unwilling to take a proactive approach and request that the policy be changed, then perhaps it is time to find a new gym or a new activity for your daughter to participate in.

 

[unsure]

Wow. You actually do sound rude in this post. People are responding with comments and questions and you are coming across like you just don't like what people are saying. The reality is that many gyms have this policy of not viewing practice. Honestly, unless you request a meeting with the owner/coach to get her side of things, nothing will change by you sitting and sulking in your car for 2 hours. If you don't like the new policy, and if you are unwilling to take a proactive approach and request that the policy be changed, then perhaps it is time to find a new gym or a new activity for your daughter to participate in.

Wow. It is obvious that you did not read all the posts, but jumped to the end to attack me. I already stated that I had worded things in a way that reads badly (sometimes it is hard to convey your feelings into typed word especially when you are irritated). I also already posted my update about talking to owner/coach for nearly an hour. You may want to think about taking your time and treating people the way you would want to be treated. Read first, post second.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

measure twice, cut once?

 

[jasminekayla]

At our gym there is a glass viewing area for parents to watch. There really isnt any set rules about watching because one most parents have tons of other things to do during that time and two really how much can you watch? Some parents stay maybe the first half hour and come 15 minutes early or whatever. I know it makes a difference in distance but most of our girls are located within 30 minutes of the gym.

 

[gymmom-in-training]

Just curious...
What would you/anyone suggest the gym owner do about those team parents who are creating a negative atmosphere in the waiting area?

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Wow. It is obvious that you did not read all the posts, but jumped to the end to attack me. I already stated that I had worded things in a way that reads badly (sometimes it is hard to convey your feelings into typed word especially when you are irritated). I also already posted my update about talking to owner/coach for nearly an hour. You may want to think about taking your time and treating people the way you would want to be treated. Read first, post second.

These were some of the comments that I was basing my reply to you upon:

My daughter has class tomorrow and I will sit in my car on the street for two hours in case someone wants to talk to me to let me know what is going on.

It is rather simple. I feel offended because we are not one of those big gyms with a large well known team. Yes, there is some truth to what has been said, but the comments were based on truths also.

I would never choose to go to a gym where I am not allowed to watch my child and see what my money is paying for. I hope that I don't sound rude, but my child's gymnastics started out as something fun for her and is becoming something that is not remotely pleasant.


You stated yourself that you thought your post might be sounding rude. And I gave you my opinion, you did sound rude to me. It just sounded to me like you were looking for people here to pat your head and tell you that you have every right to be offended, that your gym owners are totally wrong, but instead a lot of people kept saying that yes, there are many gyms that have the no viewing policy.

And I don't understand why your daughter isn't enjoying gymnastics any more because of this.

I am sorry if I offended you with my reply, or if I misinterpreted what you were saying. I know I came across as blunt and to the point, which was how I wanted to sound. Not offesive, but to reply to your own statement that you thought you might sound rude.


Again, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just wanted to be to the point and honest in my response.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Just curious...
What would you/anyone suggest the gym owner do about those team parents who are creating a negative atmosphere in the waiting area?

ban them until further notice. this is the ONLY tactic that works. and sends a message to everyone else that they'll have to play nice and get along when they come in to OUR playgrounds.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

These were some of the comments that I was basing my reply to you upon:

My daughter has class tomorrow and I will sit in my car on the street for two hours in case someone wants to talk to me to let me know what is going on.

It is rather simple. I feel offended because we are not one of those big gyms with a large well known team. Yes, there is some truth to what has been said, but the comments were based on truths also.

I would never choose to go to a gym where I am not allowed to watch my child and see what my money is paying for. I hope that I don't sound rude, but my child's gymnastics started out as something fun for her and is becoming something that is not remotely pleasant.


You stated yourself that you thought your post might be sounding rude. And I gave you my opinion, you did sound rude to me. It just sounded to me like you were looking for people here to pat your head and tell you that you have every right to be offended, that your gym owners are totally wrong, but instead a lot of people kept saying that yes, there are many gyms that have the no viewing policy.

And I don't understand why your daughter isn't enjoying gymnastics any more because of this.

I am sorry if I offended you with my reply, or if I misinterpreted what you were saying. I know I came across as blunt and to the point, which was how I wanted to sound. Not offesive, but to reply to your own statement that you thought you might sound rude.


Again, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just wanted to be to the point and honest in my response.

that's precisely how i interpreted what you wrote. and reasonable too!

 

[MaryA]

I haven't read the thread all the way through, so my appologies if I'm repeating something someone else has said...

We went from a gym where parents were allowed to watch to one where we're not. It wasn't an easy transition to make, but ultimately this is better. As crazy as it sounds, I felt like my being there helped my daughter with her gymnastics... Like I could somehow WILL her to nail that squat-on, or whatever. Now the sport is hers alone, and that's a good thing.

I will say that another difference is, she is now in a gym where I trust the coaches 100% and know that she is in good hands. I couldn't say that about the other gym. If this is the case... that you feel like you have to be there because you have concerns abo ut leaving your daughter in the care of the coaches, then this is the problem you need to address, not the watching/not watching issue.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

spot on, MaryA ^^^.