Parents Team requirements

[Still_learning]

What are the minimum team requirements for at your gyms?

I have a 5 year old that I believe is between preterm and team and I’m debating if I should have her tryout for team, which is a combined level 2 & 3 and 9 hours a week. Preterm is only 3 hours.

She needs more than 3 but behaviourally not ready for 9 with school. She’s doing 12 hrs per week over summer just fine but it’s a totally different situation after school at that age (melt downs).

Skill wise She can rope climb 12 feet in 8 seconds, 15 pull-ups, pullover from a standing position, backbend kick over and front kick over (not quite walkovers because she barely exaggerated the single leg), cartwheel, round off, forward roll on floor, and according to her coaches, her shapes are beautiful.

She’s fearless but also acts up at practice. The main problem is her maturity, behaviour and attention span. She’ll be 6 in October, and tryouts are at the end of August. I’ve asked her coaches and gotten different responses from ‘let her tryout and see what happens’ to ‘she isn’t ready to listen and need a year of preteam’.

I’m trying to gage how you know when it’s time for team?

 

[HopefulGymnast]

She’s fearless but also acts up at practice.

I'm curious in what ways she acts up.

 

[raenndrops]

I would say to let her tryout. She has the skills. If she makes it, then deal with the hours. She does 12 just fine now ... is gymnastics her ONLY activity? And will she be in kindergarten or 1st grade?
She may have an adjustment period at the beginning of the school year, but it won't take too long to acclimate. During the adjustment period, you may need to talk to the coaches about leaving a little early some days and just cut the time to missing less and less until she is at the full 9 hours. She may surprise you.

 

[ZB55]

At our gym, it's time for team when invited - it would not be up to the parent to decide whether the child is eligible or not. Being invited to tryout is not typically tied to having specific skills but rather on assessment of strength, flexibility, ability to take/make corrections, fear management, and overall behavior.

If the coaches are inviting her to tryout, then I would take the opportunity and see how it goes. You could probably drop back if not working out, but it doesn't usually work the other way around.

Also note though, 5 is young, and another year to mature wouldn't be a bad thing if that's what the coaches recommend. Our level 3s tend to average about 8 years old - she still has plenty of time.

You may also consider if she is getting enough sleep and snacks throughout the day if she is having meltdowns. An earlier bedtime can do wonders. Also think about snacks/dinner in the car as soon as she gets out of school/gymnastics and not waiting to get home.

 

[superNova08]

What do you mean by acting out during practice?

Maybe she needs a snack during practice or isn't sleeping properly. Maybe she's bored and needs the extra challenge of team. I would say let her try out. As others have said, she may surprise you. Kids have a tendency to rise to the occasion when they aren't necessarily expected to. Maybe have a talk with the coaches (if she makes the team) about slowly increasing the hours until she gets used to it.

Ultimately, I would say let her try out if the coaches think she's ready! It'll be a good experience even if she doesn't make it.

 

[Still_learning]

I'm curious in what ways she acts up.

It really rubs the gambit: from not doing the drills independently (ex if the drill is to elephant walk across obstacles, she’ll run it as fast as she can and try some wierd movement at the end), wanting to hold the teacher’s hand while transitioning or sit in her lap/next to the teacher while stretching and stomp her feet it she isn’t first in line, always has to be extra- can’t just walk to the station, has to hit/bounce/explode off equipment she passes- like if they walk passed dumbbells she’d want to touch and hold them instead of just walking in the line with the rest of the girls. The list goes on- she’s very assertive so if she has a partner at a station, she’ll end up doing twice or three times the turns. As soon as the other kid falls off, she’ll jump on and hog the equipment because she won’t fall off, even though the drill would be to do 3 mermaid kicks, she’d do the kicks then do random things to keep the bar. Basically attention seeking and pushing limits.

She also struggles with certain criticisms- like in a group or from a coach she doesn’t like. Last year was a struggle because her behaviour was even worse. Her emotional/cognitive abilities are significantly behind her gross motor skills.

She’ll be going in to 1st and I expect social problems. I see how the other girls are forming social bonds and she is missing the social cues. She plays more like a preschooler and is so strong, fast and aggressive she gravitates to the boys. My concern is she’ll either be ostracised on team because of her immaturity or worse, indulged as a cute little sister, which will probably exasperate the bad behaviours.

The trouble is she is marvellously talented but honestly I cringe at her behaviour and feel helpless to correct it. It was so bad last year, we switched to privates, which is probably why her shapes are so good. The gym has really tried to work with us because skill wise she should have been on preteam last year, but she was declined due to her distracting behaviour and offered privates, which used sticker chart very successfully.

 

[superNova08]

It really rubs the gambit: from not doing the drills independently (ex if the drill is to elephant walk across obstacles, she’ll run it as fast as she can and try some wierd movement at the end), wanting to hold the teacher’s hand while transitioning or sit in her lap/next to the teacher while stretching and stomp her feet it she isn’t first in line, always has to be extra- can’t just walk to the station, has to hit/bounce/explode off equipment she passes- like if they walk passed dumbbells she’d want to touch and hold them instead of just walking in the line with the rest of the girls. The list goes on- she’s very assertive so if she has a partner at a station, she’ll end up doing twice or three times the turns. As soon as the other kid falls off, she’ll jump on and hog the equipment because she won’t fall off, even though the drill would be to do 3 mermaid kicks, she’d do the kicks then do random things to keep the bar. Basically attention seeking and pushing limits.

She also struggles with certain criticisms- like in a group or from a coach she doesn’t like. Last year was a struggle because her behaviour was even worse. Her emotional/cognitive abilities are significantly behind her gross motor skills.

She’ll be going in to 1st and I expect social problems. I see how the other girls are forming social bonds and she is missing the social cues. She plays more like a preschooler and is so strong, fast and aggressive she gravitates to the boys. My concern is she’ll either be ostracised on team because of her immaturity or worse, indulged as a cute little sister, which will probably exasperate the bad behaviours.

The trouble is she is marvellously talented but honestly I cringe at her behaviour and feel helpless to correct it. It was so bad last year, we switched to privates, which is probably why her shapes are so good. The gym has really tried to work with us because skill wise she should have been on preteam last year, but she was declined due to her distracting behaviour and offered privates, which used sticker chart very successfully.

Some of this sounds fairly normal to happen at her age - a short attention span can be pretty common. Maybe, and I am by no means a parent here (actually I'm 16), it's time to sit down with her and explain that her behavior is going to hold her back, and she needs to really try her best to follow instructions. We've done this on several occasions with my 3.5yo sis and it seems to work, so maybe it would help? Is it possible for her to not have a partner at stations unless they can both do things at the same time? How many girls are on the team? Sometimes when kids are around older kids they suddenly become very mature compared to what they were doing before. Can they continue to use a sticker chart with her? Is there some way that you could work with the gym to offer an incentive for good behavior? The idea with an incentive would be you slowly space out how often the incentive is given until you eventually don't need it because the goal behavior has become the norm. It does honestly sound like she might be bored in the class she's in right now if she was skill-wise able to do pre-team earlier. Sometimes when kids are bored they act out because they have too much extra energy. How is she with following instructions at school? Are they concerned? Does she excel in academics? If the gym has an Xcel team that might be a better fit to start, because it will let her work at her own pace until she sorts her behavior out.

 

[HopefulGymnast]

Basically attention seeking and pushing limits.

I'll be honest, none of these things seem like acting out or attention seeking to me. If anything, they seem like a lack of attention and a lack of social awareness. I may be completely wrong, it just reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. (I have AD(H)D and autism, and wasn't diagnosed until very late because these are often not recognised in women as they act differently than autistic/ADHD boys.)
I'm not saying she has ADHD or autism or anything, but I do wonder if she seems to be processing information and social cues differently than you'd like. Try to consider that maybe she's not acting out, she just doesn't realise what she's doing wrong or realise she's doing it again all the time.
To be clear what I mean:

ex if the drill is to elephant walk across obstacles, she’ll run it as fast as she can and try some wierd movement at the end

sounds to me like maybe lack of attention. Does she even realise she's doing it wrong?

wanting to hold the teacher’s hand while transitioning or sit in her lap/next to the teacher while stretching

Seems like different social needs in the situation.

always has to be extra- can’t just walk to the station, has to hit/bounce/explode off equipment she passes

This just 10000% sounds like a lack of attention issue to me and not like attention seeking.

she’s very assertive so if she has a partner at a station, she’ll end up doing twice or three times the turns. As soon as the other kid falls off, she’ll jump on and hog the equipment

This also feels like an attention issue and missing social cues. Not realising how this is supposed to go and just going for it instead.

t was so bad last year, we switched to privates, which is probably why her shapes are so good. [...]which used sticker chart very successfully.

This also sounds very relatable - doing better without all the stimulus and social confusion and hectics of a whole group, and benefiting from a clear structured system.

You also mention she's missing social cues. I'm not saying she has ADHD or autism or anything else, all this can easily just be her age. Different kids age differently. What I do think is that she may not understand what she'd doing wrong, and telling her off a lot will only make her feel bad and make behaviour worse. Maybe you're already doing this, so this is in no way me being blaming or anything, but maybe try to stick to non judgemental methods. Explaining things to her, finding ways to help her understand what is and isn't acceptable. (I expect she's already getting told off a lot in her life for just acting like herself)

If these behaviours continue as she gets older, I would advise you to have a check to see if she's maybe there's something going on, ADHD or something else. Or if she fixes this but gets other issues (as learning to compensate can make some issues seem fixed but be really put a lot of strain on her). Until that point, I think like others say this can just be age. Maybe adding her in a more mature group will help her learn to be more mature. Or she'll figure it out as she ages, as I think this is an age range where you'd expect a shift to maybe start happening?
I wouldn't worry about the team encouraging this type of behaviour. From what I see here, team coaches take this stuff very seriously because gymnastics is a risky sport when not taken seriously. Anything risky they will likely take seriously. And at worse if they do accept her being a bit more "extra", I honestly think that may be good for her self esteem and make her socialise better.

wow that was a whole story. really it's not the time of day over here for me to be typing this stuff, so sorry if it became a bit of a mess. I may be way off on everything, it just hits home because I recognise so much of myself in this. I got told off so much in my life (still do) that I ended up feeling like I wasn't allowed to be myself and it's made me really unhappy. But my story is different and your daughter is an entirely different person, so don't read too much into all my stuff

 

[kecks]

I'd say she is very normal 5 year old kid, high energy, loves to move. Let her be, try again next year. Continue the privates. Nothing will be lost if she gets time to mature.

 

[Cmom]

What are the minimum team requirements for at your gyms?

I have a 5 year old that I believe is between preterm and team and I’m debating if I should have her tryout for team, which is a combined level 2 & 3 and 9 hours a week. Preterm is only 3 hours.

She needs more than 3 but behaviourally not ready for 9 with school. She’s doing 12 hrs per week over summer just fine but it’s a totally different situation after school at that age (melt downs).

Skill wise She can rope climb 12 feet in 8 seconds, 15 pull-ups, pullover from a standing position, backbend kick over and front kick over (not quite walkovers because she barely exaggerated the single leg), cartwheel, round off, forward roll on floor, and according to her coaches, her shapes are beautiful.

She’s fearless but also acts up at practice. The main problem is her maturity, behaviour and attention span. She’ll be 6 in October, and tryouts are at the end of August. I’ve asked her coaches and gotten different responses from ‘let her tryout and see what happens’ to ‘she isn’t ready to listen and need a year of preteam’.

I’m trying to gage how you know when it’s time for team?

Even though your daughter sounds talented, she may still benefit from a year of preteam. From your description, she is picking up skills just fine with the much less demanding preteam schedule.

If I were you, I would speak to your pediatrician about your concerns with cognition/attention/social skills. I would try to work on these things while she has a light schedule. If you pursue team before addressing these issues, her coaches and teammates may become very frustrated with her, which could dampen her joy in the sport.

Kids take different paths based on talent, age, maturity, and many other factors. My five year old daughter started preteam recently and has all the skills your daughter has, plus a few more. She is happily doing preteam without issues and I am nervous about the increase in hours next summer.

All that to say, I would keep her on preteam where she is progressing nicely and use the extra time to identify and address the issues related to social skills/cognition/attention.

 

[Cmom]

What are the minimum team requirements for at your gyms?

I have a 5 year old that I believe is between preterm and team and I’m debating if I should have her tryout for team, which is a combined level 2 & 3 and 9 hours a week. Preterm is only 3 hours.

She needs more than 3 but behaviourally not ready for 9 with school. She’s doing 12 hrs per week over summer just fine but it’s a totally different situation after school at that age (melt downs).

Skill wise She can rope climb 12 feet in 8 seconds, 15 pull-ups, pullover from a standing position, backbend kick over and front kick over (not quite walkovers because she barely exaggerated the single leg), cartwheel, round off, forward roll on floor, and according to her coaches, her shapes are beautiful.

She’s fearless but also acts up at practice. The main problem is her maturity, behaviour and attention span. She’ll be 6 in October, and tryouts are at the end of August. I’ve asked her coaches and gotten different responses from ‘let her tryout and see what happens’ to ‘she isn’t ready to listen and need a year of preteam’.

I’m trying to gage how you know when it’s time for team?

Sorry, I didn't answer the first part of your question. The team requirement is one full year of preteam at the gym. Preteam is invite only and the girls start competing at level 4.

Not sure why someone in preteam would need to try out for team. I would expect the coaches to invite the kids they think will be successful on team, work on the required skills, and move them up.

 

[Cmom]

What are the minimum team requirements for at your gyms?

I have a 5 year old that I believe is between preterm and team and I’m debating if I should have her tryout for team, which is a combined level 2 & 3 and 9 hours a week. Preterm is only 3 hours.

She needs more than 3 but behaviourally not ready for 9 with school. She’s doing 12 hrs per week over summer just fine but it’s a totally different situation after school at that age (melt downs).

Skill wise She can rope climb 12 feet in 8 seconds, 15 pull-ups, pullover from a standing position, backbend kick over and front kick over (not quite walkovers because she barely exaggerated the single leg), cartwheel, round off, forward roll on floor, and according to her coaches, her shapes are beautiful.

She’s fearless but also acts up at practice. The main problem is her maturity, behaviour and attention span. She’ll be 6 in October, and tryouts are at the end of August. I’ve asked her coaches and gotten different responses from ‘let her tryout and see what happens’ to ‘she isn’t ready to listen and need a year of preteam’.

I’m trying to gage how you know when it’s time for team?

Also I'm not sure you are getting particularly different answers from the coaches. One says no, the other says she can try, but neither is saying they are confident that she's ready.

 

[jm_gymmom]

Our gym privately invites girls to preteam from rec class. Those girls are then selected to move to the full team when ready.

I most certainly don’t mean to be negative, but our gym would not select a girl who is not currently in a group class due to “distracting behavior” as you describe it, no matter the level of talent. I have an ADHDer on team now—she had to spend an extra year on preteam to mature socially, get behaviors and meds balanced, etc.

I would meet with the head coach and work toward getting her back to doing classes with her peers and working on the social skills needed in the gym to be a member of team. If she can do this on preteam at your gym, then fantastic.

 

[Aussie_coach]

This type of acting up is actually perfectly normal in young, talented gymnasts.

It does NOT sound like a disorder, it sounds like a child with an active, outgoing, driven personality. Which can get you in trouble at times, but can also be an incredible asset.

Children who are super talented at gymnastics are often driven to test themselves physically at all times. They hate to be still and love to be working hard physically, challenging themselves etc.

The need to touch things and try things, is similar to the drive to be able to test out their bodies and their strength and drive it to do amazing things.

Kids with this particular personality type may test the limits with coaches and teachers and test the rules. And it’s that same amazing personality characteristic that gives them the ability to test the limits of gravity:

I see it all the one in talented kids, once they get into the team environment where they get to train big hours, try big skills, challenge themselves, work as hard as they like and not be encumbered by having to wait in line behaving kids who are not as drive, they tend to absolutely fly!!!