WAG The dreaded 13-15 year old hump

[MuggleMom]

Ok, first..... Why is being done with gymnastics something that needs to be gotten over or prevented? And really it’s meant to be food for thought no answer is actually required.

I dont think that quitting gymnastics is something that needs to be gotten over or prevented but I do think that quitting sports is an issue girls face more than boys (particularly at that age). I wouldnt care if DD quit gym but I would be sad if she quit sports all together. I think that girls face different social pressures that play into self image that negatively impact sport participation and I do think that is something to look at getting over and preventing. I think that all goes back to the whole quitting versus moving on too. I think getting over the hump and/or moving on can be a good thing --if my daughter wanted to change tracks and do something else at that age I would get it and be supportive I just want to be sure she doesn't lose herself and her drive in the process.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I wouldnt care if DD quit gym but I would be sad if she quit sports all together. I think that girls face different social pressures that play into self image that negatively impact sport participation and I do think that is something to look at getting over and preventing

I can only speak to the kids I’ve seen leave gym. I think only one quit sports, but is very into music. The rest of them have moved onto at least one other sport

 

[Gymmamabear]

Thanks everyone! So many good ideas here!

First to answer this: Not sure who posted it "Ok, first..... Why is being done with gymnastics something that needs to be gotten over or prevented? And really it’s meant to be food for thought no answer is actually required."

For my daughter she doesn't WANT to quit. She is just tired of the grind. She's not necessarily happy, but she doesn't want to quit. This is where I was looking for answers, when I say get over the hump it seems a lot of girls that age feel this way. They are L10, they will be there forever. They hope to do college, but the long hours get to them, they are hormonal and moody, etc.

I love the idea about less hours. I know our gym would never be receptive. I encourage my daughter to take mental health days and it is always demanded to know why she isn't there. Unfortunately all the gyms in our area (that have L10) are this way so changing gyms would not really help. I WISH we had a coach like Aussie Coach! I actually considered talking to my daughters coach but he would probably just huffy and say if she doesn't want to be here fine. :-( That is why I have to mom her through this - because she doesn't want to quit!

 

[sce]

I dont think that quitting gymnastics is something that needs to be gotten over or prevented but I do think that quitting sports is an issue girls face more than boys (particularly at that age). I wouldnt care if DD quit gym but I would be sad if she quit sports all together. I think that girls face different social pressures that play into self image that negatively impact sport participation and I do think that is something to look at getting over and preventing. I think that all goes back to the whole quitting versus moving on too. I think getting over the hump and/or moving on can be a good thing --if my daughter wanted to change tracks and do something else at that age I would get it and be supportive I just want to be sure she doesn't lose herself and her drive in the process.

I saw a lot more boys leave the sport than girls. Many boys who stated in gymnatics at my boys' gym were also doing other sports. By middle school they could not do gymnastics and the other sprots. Most often, they chose the other sport. Even at younger ages, they often left as the days and hours increased. Many aprents discouraged sucha big commitment.

 

[mommyof1]

My daughter’s current gym offers two options for hours. The optional extra time is tacked on to the end of each practice and focuses mostly on conditioning. This allows girls to have some control over their level of commitment. They are building up a new team and don’t yet have any upper optionals or many girls older than 12-13, but I can see that option as a great way to allow an overwhelmed ninth-grader to step back without quitting.

 

[Gymmamabear]

The optional hours would be GREAT! Take some time off as long as they don't abuse it. I think our gym is militant old school and would never allow that. I wish the coaches were open to talking and letting know what is going on but that is just not an option. It is just sad to see your daughter not happy about going to something she used to love, now she's just "eh", but gymnastics is hard to walk away from at the same time. Particularly for those girls that "made it" early and are successful!

 

[duyetanh]

I dont think that quitting gymnastics is something that needs to be gotten over or prevented but I do think that quitting sports is an issue girls face more than boys (particularly at that age). I wouldnt care if DD quit gym but I would be sad if she quit sports all together. I think that girls face different social pressures that play into self image that negatively impact sport participation and I do think that is something to look at getting over and preventing. I think that all goes back to the whole quitting versus moving on too. I think getting over the hump and/or moving on can be a good thing --if my daughter wanted to change tracks and do something else at that age I would get it and be supportive I just want to be sure she doesn't lose herself and her drive in the process.

Actually there was a huge study done somewhere about how this is the age where most girls quit sports in general, but of course like hell I can find it now. But my kid and I actually read it together. It had all to do with their changing bodies and their periods. Once that period hit, wow did the numbers increase..girls get so self conscious, some don’t want to wear tampons, etc. I think that is the worry with parents moreso than if the child quits gym—-what will they do then? Some children have other stuff in the hopper so to speak....but some don’t. I think this is why it is SO IMPORTANT to encourage other stuff. It doesn’t even have to be another sport, it could be music, or marching band (which truly is a sport, wow!). But I don’t think it’s healthy to be all for one and one for all. It leaves an identity crisis once the all is gone, and that is not good. Even if they are doing an insane amount of hours, there really needs to be something else found for them. For my kid, who does not do insane hours, it is golf. She is good at golf, and it can be done on her own time at her own terms. Does she love golf? No. She likes it. She loves gym! But if gym was no longer around, I comfort myself with the fact that she could fall into golf, and we have talked about it.

 

[coachmolly]

Actually there was a huge study done somewhere about how this is the age where most girls quit sports in general, but of course like hell I can find it now. But my kid and I actually read it together. It had all to do with their changing bodies and their periods. Once that period hit, wow did the numbers increase..girls get so self conscious, some don’t want to wear tampons, etc. I think that is the worry with parents moreso than if the child quits gym—-what will they do then? Some children have other stuff in the hopper so to speak....but some don’t. I think this is why it is SO IMPORTANT to encourage other stuff. It doesn’t even have to be another sport, it could be music, or marching band (which truly is a sport, wow!). But I don’t think it’s healthy to be all for one and one for all. It leaves an identity crisis once the all is gone, and that is not good. Even if they are doing an insane amount of hours, there really needs to be something else found for them. For my kid, who does not do insane hours, it is golf. She is good at golf, and it can be done on her own time at her own terms. Does she love golf? No. She likes it. She loves gym! But if gym was no longer around, I comfort myself with the fact that she could fall into golf, and we have talked about it.

Agreed. When I could tell a kid was on the verge of quitting, it was the ones who had no other activities that I worried about the most. The kids who at least had a small other activity (sport, scouts, church, instrument, dance/singing/drama, chess club, anything!) I knew would be okay and manage to find other things that made them happy and a sense of belonging. I can think of 2 kids off-hand who didn't have anything else and when they left they went down a much different path than the kids who left to pursue another interest or passion (talking about middle/high school kids here, though I think it's good for younger ones to have at least a little something extra too).

 

[doublestrike]

I think this is true for any sport or activity. It's the age, and high school gets very demanding. Gymnastics can become more difficult for gymnasts with ill-timed growth spurts and the kids suddenly have an opinion on top of hormones. Most of the ones that come through it, love the sport and have stayed healthy. We've still seen plenty of kids quit even as juniors, mostly due to being unable to overcome injuries and coming to terms with it. Diving, dance, track and cheer are very natural fits for gymnasts and we've had plenty of friends move on to other activities successfully because of their training, focus, drive and dedication.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

And it's OK if kids decide to move on from gymnastics. They will likely find other activities they enjoy even more. I don't think that people who leave the sport regret it or feel like it closes any doors for them. More likely doors are opened.