The Pros and Cons of Privates

[LMV]

We've never done "privates" for our daughter. However, when she was first coming back into gymnastics [after about six months off completely] it was hard to really know where to put her. She had competed one L7 meet and was aggressively uptraining L8/L9 skills right before she took the time off but was clearly not ready to hop right back in with any of those levels. Our HC worked with her independently in the morning [while they had some pre school and rec classes going on in the background and around them] until he felt she was ready to train with the L7/L8 girls. At that point she moved to their group and worked with him only if he happened to be working with their group at training [which he does do some although he mostly works with the L9/L10 kids]. We started paying just regular L7 tuition when she walked back into the gym. We started paying L8 tuition at the beginning of fall session and are paying that now. We never paid anything extra for him to work with her and it was just introduced matter of factly as well I think this is what we should do. I'm not sure if it created "gym drama". I try to just ignore that and from what I read on the forum our gym is amazingly low drama in comparison anyway. I actually think a lot of parents had no idea he was working with her which probably reduced things.

Now she is training L9/10 on bars and vault and still technically in the floor and beam L8 groups. The L9/L10 bars and vault groups typically do have a lot of 1:1 time with the HC for direct skills work [they work at conditioning and strength stations independently or in small groups in between their turns with HC]. So from this thread it sounds like all of their training is sort of a group "private". I will say that one L7 mom in particular does have her nose a little out of joint about her working with the L9/L10 and is always commenting on that. Everyone else seems to have better things to think about. I think her real issue is not our daughter in the L9/L10 group but that her daughter was kept at L7 when at least her mother was sure she would be scoring out and moving to L8. She isn't happy about that so she is looking for examples of favoritism where they aren't really there.

 

[GymSurvivor]

I have only done a couple privates in special situations. They are very pricey, esp. to do on a regular basis like some from my team do.
But the first was I lost my Round-off BHS which is a simple move but I just wouldn't go for it. And this helped a TON because my coach would have the time to work with me and only be so she spotted full on, then a light spot, then 1 finger, then just standing there, then 1 step away then 2 etc...
The 2nd was because I really wanted to get my Front hip Circle for a meet. This was also helpful, we did some drills for it and then just worked away at them. I did get them at that private.
But as I've moved up levels I don't really feel the need for them. I usually get the skills in class or work on perfecting them at open gym (which my coach comes to and can help me there at a much lower cost)

 

[clrmom]

I believe doing privates for special situations (like TallGymnast mentions) makes sense. At our gym on my daughter's team (L2) there are several girls that have started doing weekly or biweekly hour long privates. The reasoning seems to be so they can be more competitive within their age group etc. To me this seems unnecessary. Number one: I think L2 is supposed to be just for gaining experience and building foundation skills plus having fun. Number 2: I think that the training they do should be enough to teach the skills necessary for the level. For those two reasons (and of course the cost), I wouldn't have my daughter do privates.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

my dd has done a total of 2 private lessons in her 3 years of gymnastics. We did them because she was struggling on beam...still does...it did help with her confidence.

 

[Bajanswife]

We haven't done any - not sure if our gym's coaches do them or not, actually. But DD was struggling so much last week with her L4 beam dismount, I would have loved to get her one, because we have a meet coming up and she was getting desperate because she'd try and try and before she could blink beam rotation would be over and she still hadn't gotten it. She was afraid, so she wouldn't really go for it on her own and would wait for the coach to spot her i.e. she wasn't getting enough tries. Anyway, she had a breakthrough on Friday and finally got there - just in time! So in situations like that I would not have an issue with a private - if everyone else in a training group has gotten a skill and there is one gymnast with a block, I see no reason a private couldn't help her.

 

[Dezi]

Our gym in no way pushes privates but my dd was very frustrated with not being able to get her fhc this year before competition. So we did semi-private lessons with another teammate that needed help on the same skill. We have an incredible low student/coach ratio but our head coach does all the privates and sometimes another coach can say just the right thing or teach it a different way and it clicks for the child. Sometimes they need extra time to practice the skill, I have heard it takes on average 400 attempts to get a skill. I do not do privates on a weekly basis however if I see my dd frustrated or struggling with one skill I will let her do privates.

 

[lhmom]

I remember asking one of my DD's coaches if she needed a private (really struggled with the ROBHS-I was worried she would hurt herself). He basically told me no, that she was very close to getting it and that they would let me know if it was really necessary. There have been very few instances where they do privates at our gym, at least with the compulsory girls. The privates seem to be more for the optionals.

 

[NGL780309]

I don't really like doing privates for my DD because it's very expensive. At DD's gym alot of girls do privates weekly. It makes you feel like as a parent that you are some how shortchanging your child. I've noticed the girls who take regular privates are the ones whose parents are obsessed with their child being the best. Not just their personal best, but better than everyone else.

DD's dad, who is a coach, said I shouldn't let her do them. If they are good coaches she shouldn't need them. That being said I have let her have a few. I let her do one recently because she's in Level 5, but competing Level 4 and they haven't worked routines in a long time. I figured it wouldn't hurt to have her run through her routines and feel confident going into the meet. Plus I was worried she'd be confused with learning Level 5 floor and beam routines and then doing Level 4 routines at the meet. The routines are very similar so I was a bit worried. There seems to be a race amongst the parents to help their kids get their kips and then be the one who has them consistent. I'm not buying into that. DD will get them consistent on her own with time.

 

[IrenicMom]

Well, to read this thread, you'd think I'm the worst mom ever. My daughter has done a few privates this year - she's a 5yo L3.

Why has she done them? Because she is struggling with her stupid mill circle and it's bothering her. Because she's 5, and trains in a group of 40, divided into 10/line, and like a previous poster said, about 2/3 of practice time is spent dealing with the behavior issues inherent to a group of young girls. Say it's an issue with the gym? Maybe. I'm not in a position to judge that. But at this point, switching is not an option we're willing to entertain. And allowing her to "suffer" (and I use that term very lightly) because of poor practice management doesn't seem like such a hot idea. Generally speaking, I prefer not to allow my children to be pawns in someone else's game. It's not her fault they're having issues right now. And as an advocate for my child - as every parent should be - I provide her with the opportunity to overcome the limitations about which we have no control.

She's improved more in the 2 hours she's spent with one of the assistant coaches than she has in the last 6 months. She broke her arm at the start of summer at team camp, and has been playing catchup ever since.

They're not playtime. They're not skill-based babysitting (if anything TEAM PRACTICE is more skill based babysitting than a private lesson is.....at least hers). She's not doing them because we're pushing her to be the best the fastest. She's a middle of the pack gymnast right now.

Ultimately, she does private lessons because as parents, my husband and I feel that if one of our children is involved in a sport, our job is provide them with the tools they need to succeed in that sport. And succeed doesn't mean "win everything at any cost". Succeed simply means to be able to operate within the sport at a level they're comfortable with, in a way that makes them enjoy the time they spend involved in the sport.

She hasn't done a ton, but if she expressed an interest in doing them regularly? We'd entertain that interest. She works hard at them, and is proud of what she is accomplishing.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

My DD has done several private lessons in her 6 years in this sport. She did all but one at the crazy gym she used to go to. As others have stated, most of the time in THAT gym was spent goofing off, no structured practice, no drill stations, nothing. It was very frustrating. The coaches did nothing to try to modify the girls' behavior. We (parents) suggested many times (when they complained) that setting up drill stations would keep the girls busy while they were "waiting for their turns." But we didn't know anything (according to them) This is the gym that now has girls going 30 hours per week, yet have never produced any L10s, nor have had any successful L9's either. So yes, I did spend the money for privates here and there with the one good coach.

Since she's been at the gym where she is, there is no need for them. The coaches keep them busy with training skills or conditioning.

I agree that there should NOT be a need for privates on a ROUTINE basis. Unfortunately, I do know of parents who do it. Several at my DD's current gym. There are also many parents at one of the local, elite training gyms that haul their kids in for standing weekly private lessons. I just think that's a shame when these girls are working out 20+ hours a week as it is. Especially when the girls are scoring extremely well anyway!! And yes, they seem to be the ones who have to have the "best" kid on the team... whatever.

Oh yeah... and it's a minimum of $70.00 per hour.

 

[lilgymmie7]

Well, to read this thread, you'd think I'm the worst mom ever. My daughter has done a few privates this year - she's a 5yo L3.

Why has she done them? Because she is struggling with her stupid mill circle and it's bothering her. Because she's 5, and trains in a group of 40, divided into 10/line, and like a previous poster said, about 2/3 of practice time is spent dealing with the behavior issues inherent to a group of young girls. Say it's an issue with the gym? Maybe. I'm not in a position to judge that. But at this point, switching is not an option we're willing to entertain. And allowing her to "suffer" (and I use that term very lightly) because of poor practice management doesn't seem like such a hot idea. Generally speaking, I prefer not to allow my children to be pawns in someone else's game. It's not her fault they're having issues right now. And as an advocate for my child - as every parent should be - I provide her with the opportunity to overcome the limitations about which we have no control.

She's improved more in the 2 hours she's spent with one of the assistant coaches than she has in the last 6 months. She broke her arm at the start of summer at team camp, and has been playing catchup ever since.

They're not playtime. They're not skill-based babysitting (if anything TEAM PRACTICE is more skill based babysitting than a private lesson is.....at least hers). She's not doing them because we're pushing her to be the best the fastest. She's a middle of the pack gymnast right now.

Ultimately, she does private lessons because as parents, my husband and I feel that if one of our children is involved in a sport, our job is provide them with the tools they need to succeed in that sport. And succeed doesn't mean "win everything at any cost". Succeed simply means to be able to operate within the sport at a level they're comfortable with, in a way that makes them enjoy the time they spend involved in the sport.

She hasn't done a ton, but if she expressed an interest in doing them regularly? We'd entertain that interest. She works hard at them, and is proud of what she is accomplishing.

I think bottom line is that we all need to respect other people's opinions and concerns that cause them to do "whatever" in light of doing what is best for their child. I'm sure people at DD's gym do 'regular' privates- it always happens. I don't know who, nor do I really care to know. I have always advocated for my children at all costs. Most times my concern is not on the perceptions of the 'oogling' adults but on the benefit for my child.
On an aside, I have joked a few times that DD schedules her own privates. Thus far she has done two. The second one came about after she missed her first squat on. I still have the note where she INFORMED me about what she did. "Mom, I think I need a privt with DUG on bars." Little did I know this child had already set the day and time. Coach must have thought she has money because he scheduled it without consulting me first! DD also told me in haste that I don't support her enough because I won't pay for all the privates she wants. Really! Well, needless to say- she has had a severe talking to!!
But again, we all parent the way we see fit. How involved we are with our children varies, and what we do to help them along really is best left to each individual parent. I think we all do that- Don't we?

 

[IrenicMom]

^^^^^
absolutely. Doing what we think is in our kids' best interest always

 

[sally]

Well my dd does squad training, but given half a chance I would much rather her do privates. Why do I say this? Being a tennis coach I have found that group coaching is good for the social aspect of it but you have to do twice as many hours to get what you could get in one hr worth in privates. This is because you have to allow for all the waiting around if someone is on bars you have to wait your turn or if they have set up a circuit which is fine to keep everybody going, but I am sure the kids are not doing it correctly or just mucking around which is fine if you don't want to take it to seriously. The other thing is the coaching side of it. It is impossible to be able to concentrate on one person the whole time where if you are having privates you get that. You could almost say that if doing privates you could cut down the hours you are doing and still achieve the same result. In saying that it depends to if your coach works you at a high level and not just keep stopping every 5 mins to talk.

 

[nicci1999]

I personally have done TONS of privates, but that is also because I find myself to flourish more under one on one instruction, and I like it that way.It does get costly quite quickly though. Otherwise, unless there is a specific skill that could use a little more attention, I wouldn't think it would be needed

 

[JBS]

I can think of about a 100 pros and 100 cons. It just depends on the situation.

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

I can think of one scenario only that would require me to take privates on a regular basis. This last week, some of our optional gymnasts and coaches went to an out-of-town meet, leaving my group with a certain coach. Let's just say he's not always...involved...in practice. As in "oops, I forgot to switch events so we'll have to skip floor" or "hold on one second, I'm on my cell phone...*never comes back*". He's older and I think his hearing isn't that good. If I had him all the time on a regular basis, I would find that enough reason to take privates with another coach who is very good but also busy since she's still in school.

 

[All Chalked Up]

I have never done a private; though if you're struggling with a skill it may help. I do have a "mini-me" at gym that had a problem with R0-BHS-BHS. She was very frustrated so she had a private. She got the skill! Another friend of mine felt it was a waste afterwards. It all depends on the personality, the first girl I was talking about is very focused, in her own world at gym and works well by herself, while the second one is more of a social butterfly and works better with others around.

 

[Supportive_Dad]

I expect my monthly check to cover sufficient quality instruction and coaching for my DD to score reasonably well in every event if she is working hard.

She should not need privates to score an 8.0

If she, my wife or myself have some buring desire for my girl to hit consistent 9.5+ then I should be allowed to go into my wallet for the private lessons.
If other parents/kids are like that - they too should have the right. It's not really any of our business.

same principle applies to SAT prep classes in HS, art lessons, or music lessons

 

[Mom2Gymgirls]

My dd actually did some privates this year to work on bars. As a 2nd year L5, she still wasn't getting it, and things weren't looking any better at the start of this season as they were last season. The one on one time with a coach who isn't the normal bar coach has really helped. DD has cleaned up her routine a lot and has actually learned how to swing. In her case I think it helped working with one of the other coaches because she got a different perspective and somehow it all finally started to click.

 

[gymdog]

I don't think privates were really depicted as the "worst thing ever." At best the summary of the opinion seems to be that constant private lessons shouldn't really be necessary in most circumstances, especially at the lower levels, which hardly seems that controversial or unreasonable to me. If people feel that their situation does warrant ongoing private lessons throughout the season, cool. Go ahead with your bad self. I don't care that much, but I don't want to post misleading opinions either. As a coach I do not like to really mess with that because I think there's a lot of potential for false expectations. Also, I like to try and take a balanced view of gymnastics because I think it is easy to get swept up in these things. In the grand scheme of things it's really not the worst thing ever one way or the other: to do a couple privates, or to have a kid be a little "behind" in L3 or 4.

So yeah if people are getting that worked up about it I'd advise them to step back because it's not really worth much angst at that stage (any stage, really). The great thing about those years is that it's an opportunity to have a lot of fun and the competitions should be lower key and introductory. Private lessons work out for some people. I've had private lessons (but not until I was an optional, and only twice). I have gotten close to approaching parents about the possibility although in my case I would have considered it a failure on my part and I would have provided the extra instruction at no cost. So it's not like I'm throwing stones here. But I have certainly seen some circumstances surrounding private lessons that I'm not sure I can support. So, like anything, it's an issue of moderation and common sense.