Parents Trouble in the gym with 5 year old pre-teamer.

[ginnymac]

Here is a link showing an "open shoulder trainer".

Link Removed

This, in combination with tying her hands together is extremely dangerous.

I don't even think that this is meant to be used or should be used unsupervised. Especially an unsupervised 5 year old!

 

[Linsul]

Here is a link showing an "open shoulder trainer".

Link Removed

This, in combination with tying her hands together is extremely dangerous.

I don't even think that this is meant to be used or should be used unsupervised. Especially an unsupervised 5 year old!

ahhh I see. Well as a device, I could see it's usefulness for compulsories just standing. That's enough to get across the feeling they should be creating through their position. I wouldn't have them try an actual skill with it, let alone tie their hands up! I don't even understand why tying of the hands was even done. Front walkovers on beam obviously have a different hand position than floor, but if she can't do it on floor yet, why use the harder hand position to make it even more impossible? I don't even understand the coaches train of thought to be perfectly honest. "She can't do it, so I'll not only make it harder, I'll truss her up like a Thanksgiving turkey then walk away! She'll get it then!" It's just a whole lot of bad on multiple levels. I would absolutely talk to the HC or owner or whoever will listen before letting her set foot in the gym again.

 

[Bobby]

OMG!!! Your poor baby!!
This might just be my jurisdiction, but in my state the coach would probably be (criminally) charged with assault for restraining a child, and would DEFINITELY be found guilty of substantiated physical abuse in the child protection system. which would mean disqualified from holding a 'Blue Card' and consequently disqualified from working with children (including as a volunteer) for at least two years if not forever. Not kidding.
On the other hand, my first reaction is NOT to remove your DD. She's not the one who should be punished here. Removing her would be my last resort and only if I couldn't be satisifed she was protected through other means. I hope you are able to get a satisfactory reponse from the powers that be at your club. I personally would expect the coach to be removed from your DD's team. If for some extraordinary reason the coach is not dismissed, I would further expect the coach to be highly monitored (eg: by a supervising senior coach) for a considerable period, and sent to appropriate remedial training on managing young children. And I think the coach or club rep should personally apologise to your DD so she understands such behavior is to be reported immediately (not tolerated by her). And the senior club personel should also explain the changes to the other parents so your DD does not get blamed!!

 

[momofthreegirls]

Wow, this is turning into a hot topic. I'm glad to see that most everyone agrees with me that this was wrong to do to my DD. My husband told me to stop being a "hover mother" and to butt out and let the coaches do whatever they feel is necessary.

The coaches are a college student who was a former gymnast and a 15 year old level 9. I think they are feeling pressure to build a good level 4 team for next year.

 

[bogwoppit]

Wow, this is turning into a hot topic. I'm glad to see that most everyone agrees with me that this was wrong to do to my DD. My husband told me to stop being a "hover mother" and to butt out and let the coaches do whatever they feel is necessary.

The coaches are a college student who was a former gymnast and a 15 year old level 9. I think they are feeling pressure to build a good level 4 team for next year.

Well they need their asses kicking! Be a hover mother as you don't pay to have someone tie up your kid and make her feel bad about herself.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Wow, this is turning into a hot topic. I'm glad to see that most everyone agrees with me that this was wrong to do to my DD. My husband told me to stop being a "hover mother" and to butt out and let the coaches do whatever they feel is necessary.

The coaches are a college student who was a former gymnast and a 15 year old level 9. I think they are feeling pressure to build a good level 4 team for next year.

Ummmm, yeah at this rate if this behavior continues, there won't be any kids left at that gym to make a Level 4 team let alone any other team. And you are not being a hover mother. You are protecting your child. I don't want to even comment on the comment that your husband made :boggled::shocked::mind-blowing::jaw-dropping:

 

[mtbmom]

WOW! Awful. I'm so sorry report that abuse and mention you won't be back. The owner or head coach is probably aware and fine with it.

They could have seriously injured her. In fact if she is still hurting you should get her checked out and demand they pay the bill. It is physical abuse. You could actually press crimin charges against the person that tied her up and wouldn't untie her arrested for battery. If the owner was aware a d did not intervene, they are also breaking the law. This is child abuse and you should report it. When would you EVER think this is ok to do to a child. I again am so sorry thus happened. RUN FAR FAR AWAY FROM THIS PLACE!!!

I hope you find a new safe gym fir your DD.

Sue Z.

 

[NotAMom]

Everything has already been said. Essentially, WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

With that said, be really careful before you take it up with the owners and/or powers to be. What I mean is that make sure what you have all the facts straight before hand. Once you have made such serious accusation as you have stated here, there will be no turning back -- no matter the resolution, if any. But then again, under these conditions, why would you want to turn back.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

This is horrendous! I wouldn't want my child or anyone else's in this situation. Punished for not getting skills? Ridiculous at any age!

At our gym, the coaches for the little ones are mostly gentle, grandmotherly types who happen to be in awesome shape as former gymnasts. Also, they are coached by the 30- and 40-something head coach and assistant coaches who will be with them throughout if the gymmies choose to stay in until high school. These are not college or high school students. That your dd's current gym's pre-team's coaching is left completely to those so young is not, IMO, the best situation. Note that I say "completely;" they could, IF of the correct personality and character, make wonderful assistant coaches. (Obviously, these 2 are not.)

I'd let the owners know immediately of the situation and history, and if the immediate response was not what I wanted (i.e., total genuine shock, support of legal action, AND removal of coaches involved), I'd hightail it out of there. (To stay may cause the already cruel coach/coaches to be vindictive against your dd even if they are reprimanded, which is, BTW, way too light of a consequence for them.) You may even consider leaving if the response of the owner is exactly what you want, as your dd may hold such awful memories of the humiliation and abuse there, and that may, understandably, prove too much to face for her.

Your little 5-year-old's spirit is too precious to risk being crushed by such outright abuse. Also, she'll soon hate gymnastics, and, more unfortunately, herself, as she won't know that she is not in the wrong at all.

I'm so sorry that this is happening, but am relieved that you are aware and willing to take action.

 

[Bobby]

... The coaches are a college student who was a former gymnast and a 15 year old level 9. I think they are feeling pressure to build a good level 4 team for next year.

The college student is presumably an adult liable for prosecution in any context, but age and experience are a relevant consideration to determine who is ultimately responsible. What supervision and training is being provided to these beginner coaches? The least that anyone can possibly conclude is that it was clearly not adequate on that day.
Your complaint won't be satisfied by merely shifting blame to a 15 yo. If I was the head coach/owner, I would wish to be given an opportunity to take responsibility and make restitution to your child.

 

[emorymom]

What does your DD want to do? I hope to hear a good resolution for her. It's not her fault.

 

[momofthreegirls]

Sorrry I'm so late with an update, but here it is:

I complained to the gym manager (a fifty-something mother of 5, who was also my daughter's former teacher). She suggested moving my daughter down a level into the class that she teaches. Our gym has two developmental preteam classes - one that prepares them for level 3, and one that prepares them for level 4.

She doesn't agree with how the level-4 preteam program is run, but told me the teachers are only following the directions from higher-ups.

DD loves her new class. The girls are all around her age and size, which helps a lot. She is no longer struggling with equipment that is set way too high for her. The teacher is very experienced, and sets up a great class with lots of variety and very little down-time and waiting time. They spend 20-30 minutes on stretching and strength-training, followed by an hour of various skills and drills. They are learning the level 3 routines, and doing some uptraining as well.

In her old class, a lot of time was spent conditioning and stretching (an hour), then they spent an hour working skills and drills. However, there was a lot of time spent waiting in line, and they would do the same skill at every station. My young DD could not handle it.

In her new class, DD is above the other girls skill-wise. I was worried about this when I was going to move her down. A lot of the skills that the other girls are just learning are not new for DD. The coach is great about it, though. She concentrates on making sure my daughter is doing the skills with perfect form, and gives her a little extra challenge with certain skills. I think she will do well competing level 3 next year, instead of struggling with level 4.

 

[mariposa]

I think that was a great decision. Hopefully by the time your DD gets to level 4, things will have changed, if not, you can go from there. If she is happy and progressing, that is all you can ask! Glad she has found a good fit!

 

[Bobby]

I'm so glad glad for your DD you found such a good solution for her. I hope it continues to work well for her.

 

[gymnut1]

I went back and read the beginning of this thread and my head is again seething with anger. I'm so glad your dd is in a different group now. However that coach should be disciplined for her actions. I can't tell you how unacceptable her behaviour is. Mentally and physically cruel and demeaning. And to a 5 year old child at beginner level. Unless this coach is educated about her behaviour it will be repeated. She needs to know there were many other ways to deal with the situation. What also shocks me is that another coach did not intervene in some way. It is out of your hands now and you were brave enough to bring it to the gyms attention and let them know it was not OK. Good luck and I hope there is a way your dd can avoid this problem coach when she moves up.

 

[pixie flips]

I, 100%, agree with gymnut. While I am so happy for you & your daughter, removing her from the class is just removing her from that environment. The environment still exist for other little gymmies and I am sadden to think that nothing is being done about it.

When your daughter moves up will she have that coach again? I sure hope not.

 

[cathiann]

So glad that your daughter is out of that class now. I still worry that the head coaches think this is an okay way to teacher--will your daughter be better off moving somewhere else now while it's still "easy" to do so??

 

[momofthreegirls]

My DD has already encountered the cruel coach again. When the woman who usually teaches her class was away last week, the pre-team coach subbed for her. I was upset to see this coach being cruel to another little girl in the class. This girl is about 5 years old or so, and just was moved up to the class 2 weeks ago. She is quite a bit behind skill-wise, which is understandable since she is new to the class. To be fair, I don't think the coach knew this, but the way she was talking to that little girl made my heart break. The coach was okay to my DD. It seems like this coach picks on the weakest of the group (my DD was the weakest in the level 4 preteam).

My DD is most likely going to skip pre-team and move to the competitive team next year (at the program director's suggestion), so she will not have this coach again, except for rare instances. The team girls have 4 coaches, which I am glad about. DD met most of them last summer at team camp (she was trying out for the competitive team, but was not quite ready).

Since moving to her new class, she has had a skill explosion, and she is back to being a happy little gymmie. She got her squat-on on bars last week, and was beyond thrilled.

 

[gym law mom]

So glad that your daughter is out of that class now. I still worry that the head coaches think this is an okay way to teacher--will your daughter be better off moving somewhere else now while it's still "easy" to do so??

I so agree with Cathiann. Right now, sounds like your dd is in a good group with a good coach. What worries me is the gym/office manager saying she didn't like it either, but had her dd in there. Maybe she thinks thats the way to keep her job. Her comment about the previous coach just taking orders from the top on how to teach scares me. It tells me there may be a rather nasty philosophy in this gym. We were in a gym that was fine until the girls got in the higher levels of pre-team and compulsory and then the whole enviornment became abusive. The owner(former HC) only hired coaches that would coach his way. A few coaches in the rec program left because they simply couldn't handle treating kids in a heavy handed manner, but there are always new and young coaches looking for work and experience to take their place.

I would definitely keep an close eye on how things go once your dd moves to team. You certainly don't want her to go through anymore abusive coaching.

 

[momofthreegirls]

Thanks, Gym Law Mom! The gym manager's daughter is a level 10 gymnast, and has never had the coach in question, so that's not an issue for her.

I will definitely keep an eye on things next year. I'm glad that DD will have a variety of coaches.