Parents Vow of secrecy?

[MILgymFAM]

Is it a common thing for a gym to require one of the girls? My DD switched gyms fairly recently. She was catching up with an old teammate, who asked about her training and what skills she was working on. My DD answered and asked in kind.

The girl told her that they have been forbidden from talking about what goes on in the gym outside of the team. She wasn't allowed to talk about anything she was training, her level, practice times, etc. The gym is relocating and she can't even say where (won't it be public anyway, I wondered). The girl didn't understand why this freaked my DD out, but I do. I know a vow like that would be wasted on my DD- who tells me everything (I do mean everything), but clearly the other girls take it seriously.

I am wondering if this is a thing that is common to do, or if it's just this one gym.

 

[sce]

That is not normal and would definitely concern me.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Yea, that's no good...the fact that the kid asked your DD about her skills makes me think she wanted to tell someone that she CAN'T talk about hers? Like of course your DD asked her also. Almost like a cry for help or at least feeling out the situation with respect to if the secrecy policy was weird or not? Tell her not to drink the kool-aid! Lol! Maybe I'm looking too far into it, but either way, I agree that it is concerning and I would not feel comfortable with it.

 

[Jenny]

I agree it is especially odd for her to ask your dd when she couldn't reply! Nuts. As a parents I wouldn't like that.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Very strange! That hasn't even happened at our old gym & that place has gone even crazier since we left! Lol.

That whole thing would creep me out as a parent but maybe it's more of keeping privacy from competitors (old teammates) than secrets from family & other friends? I don't know, doesn't make it right but just trying to figure it out.

 

[bogwoppit]

Not good at all. Kids being told to keep secrets by "strangers' is never good.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Not good at all. Kids being told to keep secrets by "strangers' is never good.

Exactly. What else are they being told to keep secret? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I don't like it.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Couldn't it be that they are not allowed to talk to old teammates about these things? This "vow" could be just for those situations. Very strange, but it could be not as big a deal as it appears. Many gyms don't want contact between current team members and ex-team members and while it is extreme to say vow of secrecy, it could be just that.

 

[Seeker]

Yeah...I would not like that at all. To the point that it would be grounds to find a new gym. I don't want adults who think that is appropriate behavior having anything to do with my child's development.

 

[JMACAZ]

Very strange and a little unsettling. Especially when she had started the conversation about skills etc. I know some gyms don't want videos of routines out during meet season but this seems extreme.

 

[lilmisssunshine]

I think our gym might try to keep training routines secret. I remember being told not to post videos of practice on YouTube because people might steal the ideas for conditioning or something.

Maybe I'm just an optimistic person, but my thought would be that the girl was taking the idea of not being able to talk about what they do in class to an extreme. Like, she should be able to say, "We're working on our kips!" but not "We start practice doing x, y, and z, then do [these specific conditioning exercises]...." and so on.

 

[rosiekat]

It is probably an innocent thing geared to keep a competitive edge - for example, I could see not wanting optional girls to talk about routines and skills they were working on with someone from "outside." But I totally feel that this is the kind of culture that can ultimately foster abusive behaviors or other terrible things. It may be innocently intended, but it creates that safe harbor for not-s0-nice people.

 

[mommyof1]

That is nuts. This is "Junior Olympic" competition among children in the same small area of the United States, right, not Olympic competition between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.? That rule totally undermines everything we are supposed to teach our children about not keeping secrets. It also tells me that gym's goals for its gymnasts (win at any cost) do not align with our family's (fitness, character development, and maximizing individual potential).

 

[MILgymFAM]

I think our gym might try to keep training routines secret. I remember being told not to post videos of practice on YouTube because people might steal the ideas for conditioning or something.

Maybe I'm just an optimistic person, but my thought would be that the girl was taking the idea of not being able to talk about what they do in class to an extreme. Like, she should be able to say, "We're working on our kips!" but not "We start practice doing x, y, and z, then do [these specific conditioning exercises]...." and so on.

I would think that too, but these are teenaged girls and not little kids- they would definitely know the difference. It could be the ex teammate thing though, as my DD was told by two people. Also, when someone left before my DD they were treated like they disappeared off the face of the earth, despite having been at that gym from L3-9.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Its gymnastics not the CIA or an undercover operation with the FBI/Homeland Security.

No No No.

 

[duyetanh]

I would think that too, but these are teenaged girls and not little kids- they would definitely know the difference. It could be the ex teammate thing though, as my DD was told by two people. Also, when someone left before my DD they were treated like they disappeared off the face of the earth, despite having been at that gym from L3-9.

I would have to wonder if the parents of these kids know this is happening. Does the vow extend to not telling their own family? I also find it rather strange to get all the info from someone without offering any in return. It does seem like either a cry for help or being very sneaky. I do know of gyms where when girls leave it is like they never existed before....the girls aren't allowed to talk about where they went, why, etc, and even the parents are nervous to bring it up so it is not discussed...what a wonderful, healthy learning environment that must be...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Really, oh so and so is working Yurchenko's well that blows the year for little Sally, its all over for her...................

Wait you have 8 beams and we only have 3, well there goes my kids Olympic shot.................

Oh she is training a Level 7 already, well we might as well just quit now.....................

This is ridiculous stuff. Just silly.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I would think that too, but these are teenaged girls and not little kids- they would definitely know the difference. It could be the ex teammate thing though, as my DD was told by two people. Also, when someone left before my DD they were treated like they disappeared off the face of the earth, despite having been at that gym from L3-9.

Yep, we apparently disappeared as well, like super awkward when we see any of them out in public. But then, who knows what they've been told by owner/coaches?

 

[MILgymFAM]

DDs new gym posts near daily videos of the girls in training- even the falls and not quite there skills. The hc has YouTube skills and drills videos though, so maybe it's just a different mindset. Plus, DDs gym literally trains in another operating gym. The other teams coaches joke with the girls, even. Secrecy isn't a functional word for them. I like that.

In any case, the one girl.. I met her mom once. It had been after she'd spent the night at our house one time and before when the girl was planning on three hotel stays and a road trip with us. I met her by accident! She was telling another mom that her kid was driving/staying with someone from team. I was sitting right there, so I said "me". She had no clue. Not very tuned in anyway, so I doubt she'd notice if her DD kept stuff from her. The team parents were all drinking the kool aid anyway.

 

[Gymmommy71]

That is nuts. This is "Junior Olympic" competition among children in the same small area of the United States, right, not Olympic competition between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.? That rule totally undermines everything we are supposed to teach our children about not keeping secrets. It also tells me that gym's goals for its gymnasts (win at any cost) do not align with our family's (fitness, character development, and maximizing individual potential).

This was my reaction - unless this is elite training for our national team, it's just ridiculous. So this gym feels the need to shrowd its methods for teaching basic skills like kips and giants to young gymnasts in complete secrecy? As though their training is so "special" it is worthy of a patent or has some game-changing/international significance. Nuts and arrogant if you ask me, and I too would question the values of that place if it were my kid.

Of course, there's also the possibility that the girl was just making it up to make herself seem cool - or maybe she's gonna be a level lower than she was hoping and didn't want to admit it once your daughter revealed her skills and level. Also, once the season starts it will be quite easy to find out what levels this gym is competing their girls - if anyone even cares that is ;/ - so this secrecy they are trying to uphold isnt going to last long anyways.