Parents Wanting to branch out or nearing the end of gymnastics and doesn't realize it?

[Mom2-4]

So 14 y/o DD came home from 9th grade welcome night super excited about HS sports. She spoke to a couple of coaches and would like to try out for volleyball in the fall and soccer in the spring. She has played volleyball for 2 years and really loved it, however it really stunts her growth in gymnastics. She repeated L7 this year because she missed so much practice in the fall. I am a little happier about soccer as it falls at the end of meet season. I have let her make her decisions regarding staying at current gym and playing other sports but I am wondering if lack of any teammates at her level or higher is finally getting to her as well as a not great relationship with HC. Does anyone have a L8 gymnast playing HS sports? I tried to tell her that most of the soccer player's have played since infancy. Maybe she could goal keep. I don't know. I don't think I want for her to retire. But sometimes I wish she would, after 8 years, I am tired.

 

[raenndrops]

We have 4 Level 8s on our team. 2 are cheerleaders (High school sideline AND High School competition cheer). 2 of them run track for sure, but I think actually 3 of them are on the track team - I haven't seen one in a few weeks, so I don't know what sport she is actually doing.
3 of them did High School gymnastics team too - in our state, you cannot compete for your club once you start the high school season until you are finished with the high school season.
We also have gymnasts at L6 that compete in multiple sports throughout the school year. It is tough, but they make it work.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Her sport/sports her decision.

Her gymnastics will only help her no matter what her path.

We have kids do track and diving.

 

[Seeker]

Her sport/sports her decision.

Her gymnastics will only help her no matter what her path.

We have kids do track and diving.

I really don't agree with that approach. My child is a child and while I do give her some autonomy in making choices about what she wants to do, I would not allow her to continue the gymnastics team and the schedule she currently has while adding 2 additional sports in top of it. Particularly if it would cause her to miss practice and potentially repeat a level due to missed training (possibly for a 2nd time). It's not the repeating that bothers me; but rather the repeating because of half-ing a commitment.

If she wanted to do volleyball -- that is totally fine. But then you don't get to do JO gymnastics too. You either move to xcel or retire. JO gymnastics -- particularly at L8+ -- is a huge commitment for both the athlete and family/parents (and the coaches). It is physically and mentally demanding as well as being very costly. I am unwilling to continue to pay for this sport in the way she is currently doing it if she would only be 1/2 committed. That would be akin to wanting both cake and ice cream for breakfast and I would say no to that too.

Changes are fine, but trying to have it all, yet not giving your full attention or focus to either sport is not okay with me either. Or my budget.

 

[lhmom]

IIRC, several older girls on DD's old team ran track and competed in swim while competing optionals. They were also competing at level 9. I think as long as her coaches are good with it, she could make it work. At this point, I would say let her go for it. It might actually keep her in gymnastics a little longer if she is getting to try things in high school.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I really don't agree with that approach. My child is a child and while I do give her some autonomy in making choices about what she wants to do, I would not allow her to continue the gymnastics team and the schedule she currently has while adding 2 additional sports in top of it. Particularly if it would cause her to miss practice and potentially repeat a level due to missed training (possibly for a 2nd time). It's not the repeating that bothers me; but rather the repeating because of half-ing a commitment.

If she wanted to do volleyball -- that is totally fine. But then you don't get to do JO gymnastics too. You either move to xcel or retire. JO gymnastics -- particularly at L8+ -- is a huge commitment for both the athlete and family/parents (and the coaches). It is physically and mentally demanding as well as being very costly. I am unwilling to continue to pay for this sport in the way she is currently doing it if she would only be 1/2 committed. That would be akin to wanting both cake and ice cream for breakfast and I would say no to that too.

Changes are fine, but trying to have it all, yet not giving your full attention or focus to either sport is not okay with me either. Or my budget.

I have no idea what hours your daughter trains, what her focus ability is or would it be OK with all the coaches. Your kid, your opinion.

Next I was speaking to OP about the kid retiring or not. That really is a kid decision. Why would anyone want there child doing something they are ready to move on from? Notice I said move on, not stop as in done, do nothing.

And why anyone would deny their kid the ability to try other things, is a head scratcher to me. But hey that's just me and my opinion.

And is it possible to do other things and gym. That was the question. Can it be done? Why yes it can. What every one does with their kids and family, to each their own. But yes it can be done.

The kid I dated in HS was a 6 Varsity Letter guy. Because he was just so dang fast, he did track, part of the state record holder relay team, but didn't have to go to practice as long he was at practice at the other sport he was doing. If it works for the team, kid and coaches. Of course it can be done.

For me and it happens to be our coaches philosophy as well, kids need a "life", meaning the ability to do more then gym, it keeps them in gymnastics. So our gym is lower hours. Again we have girls who do other things and still do gymnastics. At other gyms they would be forced to choose. My daughter would of moved on a long time ago if she had to go the hours that a lot of the kids on CB goes. We all do what works for us and our. If my kid wants to do track, gymnastics on the HS team and gym and all her coaches are agreeable and she can handle it and school work. That is fine. If she decides in HS, gymnastics is done and does other things thats fine. If she decides she wants to keep doing gymnastics and nothing else that is fine too. Her sports/interests, her life.

Around here the only requirement is she do something, as TV/You Tube for many hours is the only option not on the table.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

IIRC, several older girls on DD's old team ran track and competed in swim while competing optionals. They were also competing at level 9. I think as long as her coaches are good with it, she could make it work. At this point, I would say let her go for it. It might actually keep her in gymnastics a little longer if she is getting to try things in high school.

This

 

[Seeker]

I have no idea what hours your daughter trains, what her focus ability is or would it be OK with all the coaches. Your kid, your opinion.


And why anyone would deny their kid the ability to try other things, is a head scratcher to me. But hey that's just me and my opinion.

We're all aware of your gym being lower hours and your philosophy on pretty much everything because you share that information often. Under those circumstances -- sure, it's very possible to do another sport. But that is not the reality for most upper level optional gymnasts. As I recall, your child just finished compulsories and is not in high school, so your opinion may change by the time she is.

OP indicated that her daughters' participation in volleyball last year DID in fact disrupt/interfere with gymnastics, leading me to assume that the schedules and time commitment of each sport did not mesh well together. Being that volleyball is a team sport, attending practice seems as if it would be quite important. I also didn't say that I wouldn't allow my child to do it, I believe I said I would require some sort of change to the program so that it would work better. I don't think it's fair to either team to make a commitment that you're only capable of half-fulfilling, so no -- I wouldn't set my daughter up for that. But as you said, my kid, my opinion. But that is what OP was asking for -- opinions and advice.

At this point, I would say let her go for it. It might actually keep her in gymnastics a little longer if she is getting to try things in high school.

This

Moving to a lower hours option that didn't interfere with training (like xcel) would achieve the same thing, which is precisely why I suggested it.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

She repeated L7 this year because she missed so much practice in the fall. I am a little happier about soccer as it falls at the end of meet season.

Was she OK with repeating L7.

Perhaps she would rather track slower level wise and be able to do other things............... Clearly she has made it L8 and managed.

Slower is not necessarily a bad thing. If it works for everyone.

 

[l.c.o]

For my own kids, it's not a slower/faster or repeating/not repeating thing.

It's a commitment thing.

With the number of hours, driving, travel, and costs associated with this sport, if my kids aren't all-in, then I'm not all-in.

That's just me and my opinion.

That said, I did let my DS play rec Little League again last summer as he was pushing for level 5, but it was with the expectation that it stops at rec - no travel/select ball, and "missing" had be balanced between the two sports. Gym coaches let him make up some practices. We're letting him play again this season as he will likely repeat his level anyway, and baseball coach is trying to work around the gym schedule as best he can (same coach as last year).

All that, and he had a rough gym season and I suspect he may not stick will it long-term...

I let my DD play one short season of middle school volleyball as she was training for level 7, and that won't happen again. Too difficult to balance, and she's not even in a truly high hours club. She felt stressed by both teams, and felt like she was letting them both down. I truly can't imagine my DD balancing a club sport, two HS sports, and HS academics. After last season, it was jointly decided that she needs to honor all commitments as fully as she can. Now, if she was happy with a move to a less intense gymnastics program (some YMCA, Xcel, etc)? She could try anything she'd like.

 

[gymgal]

I am with ICO here. It is a commitment issue - commitment to your primary team, commitment to your family who is spending a lot of money and time on gymnastics. I would not allow my child to remain in a level where I am paying for 20/wk training and she is missing half the practices - even for just a sport season (8-12 weeks). If she wants to play another sport, then she drops hours/levels in gymnastics - likely by dropping to an xcel or similar program.

As for her level of competency toward a sport compared to others who have played it forever - that depends on the talent pool in her school and really whether she is an "all-around" athlete. Some kids can just jump into a sport as if they have been playing it their whole lives. Dedicated gymnasts seems to be able to do this more than other athletes, probably because of their general work ethic.

 

[Committed]

If I were in the exact same position, I would have to say "no". As it is, I don't see how there is any time to go to practices/games of the other sport. Even if the schedules somehow magically aligned, the stress of it and the absolute lack of downtime would be a big deterrent.

It sounds like you should have a conversation with her and see what her expectations are. Talk to her about what the both of you think can work out with scheduling, homework, downtime, etc. Would it work with her current schedule? Would it be okay with the gym? Etc.

 

[krstew29]

If you can make it work, great, but from what I've seen going on in my town it will be very hard. In my town, high school sports require a huge time commitment and regularly missing practice would affect playing time. If my DD was an L8 and wanted to do high school sports, I'd encourage her to either move on from gymnastics or move to Xcel or similar program with a lower time commitment (unless gym was willing to be flexible and allow her to come at other times). I feel like the other posters above that it's a commitment issue, you can't halfway commit to 2 teams, especially given the time and $$ involved. Also, in my town, the girls who have been playing soccer have been playing since K and play year round on multiple teams (usually town travel and a premier league) so if she wants to pursue soccer, she'd probably want to start doing clinics (one of dd's former teammates did this and made the travel soccer team, but right now she's still in middle school). Volleyball is a little easier as volleyball here is only introduced in middle school.

A few years back DD (then 8yo) was able to compete L3 and swim team at the same time only because the practices fell on opposite days. The following year she actually ended up retiring from gymnastics (even after a brief gym change to the Y to where her swim team was) because the schedules didn't align and she'd miss practice (either gymnastics or swim) and we had her choose. The only schedule that worked was L3 or Xcel and she had no interest in either (she wanted L4 and didn't want to quit swimming), so she made the decision.

Fast forward 3 years and she recently changed swim teams from the Y to a private club that offers a flexible practice schedule which is a little easier to make fit-- they offer practice 7 days a week and you commit to either 3 or 5 days a week of your choice. Currently her sports are field hockey through the middle school in the fall, swim team (pretty much all year), and lacrosse in the spring. Lacrosse (3 days a week) and swim (3 days a week) can easily be pulled off because of this. But I know she wants to move up to swimming 5 days a week so she can qualify for higher level meets, so that's a decision she'll need to make in the fall. She can stay at 3 days and do other sports, but once she moves to 5 days, that's all she can do. We had a taste of high school sports with field hockey last fall (while still at the Y for swim) and while it leaves your weekends free, she had practices and/or games almost every weeknight and I know that the high school it's just like that, but even more hours. Plus homework. Good luck!

 

[Mom2-4]

Thanks for the input. Alot of valid points. I think alot of times especially with gymnasts, they are mature beyond their years and excel at so many things we may let them do more than they can handle. I think we may be reaching the point when the child's not the gymnastics parent needs to step in and set a limit on what they can physically and emotionally handle. They really do want to do everything. Her coach has been flexible up to this point but I don't think L8 and a fall sport are compatible. Xcel does well at our gym but DD wants to reach L 10 before retiring barring any injury, her goal, not mine. The other question was about soccer in the spring. If she has little chance of playing competitively what is the point. Tough decisions ahead. I guess we will see how the long, hot summer up training goes. I am pretty sure she will move on if she cannot get her L8 skills before the season starts. I will keep you posted.

 

[my4buffaloes]

You have to do what is best for your child - and 3 high hour commitment sports (HS sports generally require every day after school practices) is likely going to be a struggle. Exhaustion both menatlly and physically just from sports - both things adding to the risk of injury. Combine that with starting HS and that is a recipe for trouble. The soccer seems like it would work out better since it is after meet season at least. Plus the end of the school year.

Honestly, like Seeker, I require a full commitment from my kids on things. We don't do things that can't be committed to fully. Not me or my children. It isn't fair to anyone. This is not something I bring the hammer down on. We have many conversations along the way about how that would work, when would they study if they do another activity, do the hours conflict with current activity, etc. No one can do everything they want to do, just like no one can have everything they want. Fact of life. We talk about things A LOT. Sometimes for months. In the end so far my dds have chosen gymnastics over other sports. My oldest played 2 sports (different seasons) and had a nagging injury. We told him that his body likely would not be able to handle both sports senior year so he picked his favorite and only played the one. Choices have to be made sometimes. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

Parenting is a process. I applaud you for thinking this through and asking opinions. There is no 1 right answer. In the end you and your dd have to look at the time commitment of all activities and figure out what will work. This has opened the door to having a conversation on whether she wants to continue gymnastics in HS or not. She probably doesn't have to decide anything now, so let that conversation happen over the spring summer and the decision will probably come out naturally. It will be well thought out and likely the right one.

Upper level optionals requires a full commitment or you risk injury and likely lack of success. Both things can be hard on kids and parents. Good luck!

 

[gracyomalley]

Perhaps a perspective - although men's gym is a bit different. My older boy always was a music first, gym second kid. Each year we thought would be his last at gym - until at age 13 he suddenly got strong and moved from level 5 to level 7 and then 8 the next year. (he started late at age 11). He managed one year of high school with music (he does adult orchestra and chamber music groups, plays about 25 hours a week) and gym (on top of high school) and was state vault champion, but did find it hard to be in gym as much as he should have to be safe and healthily progressing. This year he would have had to go L10 due to age (the men's program restricts the ages of the kids in levels...don't get me started...) and it was frankly impossible to do well at school, learn to safely do L10 and have another extracurricular commitment. He ended up just training a couple days a week and not competing.

It was not an easy decision - but luckily his coach understood and let him "not decide" but slowly "find his way toward being done"...although I did keep paying for L8-10 training all year (long story - my decision - supporting having a top level coach for a small team...its worth is for what both my boys have gotten over the years...but I won't continue it).

I do think its good to let kids dabble a bit while deciding whether gym is "it" for them in high school...but all the girls I know who tried it also ended up either back to all gym or done with gym (I'm talking about upper level kids here - 8-10)

 

[UnoMas]

I know that for my gymnast, L8 and high school honors classes without adding a HS sport made for an extremely challenging year. Adding another sport, and all HS sports involve a significant commitment/demand of some sort...also increases the risk of injuries for many reasons. With the amount of money and commitment that optional gymnastics requires, risking sitting out because of injury from another sport or the combo of two sports is definitely something to consider even if your kid is not accident prone like mine.
My kid is very bright, disciplined, all that good stuff but no way could she ever have pulled off L8, a challenging course load, and a HS sport.

 

[duyetanh]

I know that for my gymnast, L8 and high school honors classes without adding a HS sport made for an extremely challenging year. Adding another sport, and all HS sports involve a significant commitment/demand of some sort...also increases the risk of injuries for many reasons. With the amount of money and commitment that optional gymnastics requires, risking sitting out because of injury from another sport or the combo of two sports is definitely something to consider even if your kid is not accident prone like mine.
My kid is very bright, disciplined, all that good stuff but no way could she ever have pulled off L8, a challenging course load, and a HS sport.

This. The jump to level 8 is beyond 'real,' and I can't even imagine dealing with it while doing high school, let alone with adding something else extracurricular!!! I feel like there are all these "stopping" points for gym. **Note these are GENERALIZATIONS** people, lol!

Those who don't get the bloody kip sometimes head to xcel or retire...so level 4 seems to be a stopping point
Those who develop fear issues of the heinous level 5 (that level will always be thought of as heinous imho) retire before optionals
Those who can't get their Giants stop at either level 6 or 7, depending on if their gym will work with them and allow bars to be competed without them.
Those who have backwards issues also often stop at levels 6 or 7, again depending on if their gym is flexible or not.
To get to level 8 is an incredible, INCREDIBLE accomplishment. I truly feel from reading all these threads over the past few years that it is the gateway level to get you to level 10. I know from all the gyms in our area that many girls who have repeated 7 either head to xcel the next season (which I think is great! It is a way to stay in the sport while pursuing other passions) or they retire. Because the jump is really a jump.
...and let's not forget Summer. A high percentage of gymnasts quit in summer, which I understand. I don't remember the percentage, but it was mentioned on here somewhere.

So, my two cents is that if she does her time in Summer, and pulls off all those level 8 skills in Summer, I would say that gym would need to be first and foremost. I am not trying to sound harsh, because I do get it is an emotional issue, but I really think the decision should be made before summer. That way, if she is going to do other sports, she can enjoy her summer, and begin networking, so to speak. Because after putting in the time, and in a sense, "giving up" her summer (I have heard other middle and highschool girls say this comment), it will be much harder to justify cutting the cord.

Two huge red flags that stand out to me that I don't think anyone else has touched on (forgive me, I am skimming here) are
A. no girls her age at her level, and
B. not the greatest relationship with the hc

You do not mention why the relationship isn't the greatest, but if your child is already in 9th grade, odds are good she has gone through the horrific puberty emotional tween years when relationships are rough with everyone including themselves. So, if the relationship has been rough for awhile, she has already repeated level 7 once, and she is excited about taking these other sports up a notch.....might I gently suggest she is giving you her answer? Level 8 isn't a level to touch lightly on....is there any chance at all for an xcel program, even if it meant another gym nearby? There are some amazingly high level xcel girls out there! Especially as she has already dabbed in other sports, and it hasn't killed her interest....well...I don't see you being able to take those away without some real issues. Also, what are her goals with the sport? That is also important. I know that at level 10, often there aren't many teammates in general, but at level 7 there are usually some a girl can count on that are around her age group. I am sure she is thrilled to work with others at her age group.

Good luck. It is honestly so much harder on the parents when their kids stop doing an activity they have done for a long time, regardless of what it is. I wish you and her the best, and am sure you two will have talks in the future about the future.

 

[Mom2-4]

This. The jump to level 8 is beyond 'real,' and I can't even imagine dealing with it while doing high school, let alone with adding something else extracurricular!!! I feel like there are all these "stopping" points for gym. **Note these are GENERALIZATIONS** people, lol!

Those who don't get the bloody kip sometimes head to xcel or retire...so level 4 seems to be a stopping point
Those who develop fear issues of the heinous level 5 (that level will always be thought of as heinous imho) retire before optionals
Those who can't get their Giants stop at either level 6 or 7, depending on if their gym will work with them and allow bars to be competed without them.
Those who have backwards issues also often stop at levels 6 or 7, again depending on if their gym is flexible or not.
To get to level 8 is an incredible, INCREDIBLE accomplishment. I truly feel from reading all these threads over the past few years that it is the gateway level to get you to level 10. I know from all the gyms in our area that many girls who have repeated 7 either head to xcel the next season (which I think is great! It is a way to stay in the sport while pursuing other passions) or they retire. Because the jump is really a jump.
...and let's not forget Summer. A high percentage of gymnasts quit in summer, which I understand. I don't remember the percentage, but it was mentioned on here somewhere.

So, my two cents is that if she does her time in Summer, and pulls off all those level 8 skills in Summer, I would say that gym would need to be first and foremost. I am not trying to sound harsh, because I do get it is an emotional issue, but I really think the decision should be made before summer. That way, if she is going to do other sports, she can enjoy her summer, and begin networking, so to speak. Because after putting in the time, and in a sense, "giving up" her summer (I have heard other middle and highschool girls say this comment), it will be much harder to justify cutting the cord.

Two huge red flags that stand out to me that I don't think anyone else has touched on (forgive me, I am skimming here) are
A. no girls her age at her level, and
B. not the greatest relationship with the hc

You do not mention why the relationship isn't the greatest, but if your child is already in 9th grade, odds are good she has gone through the horrific puberty emotional tween years when relationships are rough with everyone including themselves. So, if the relationship has been rough for awhile, she has already repeated level 7 once, and she is excited about taking these other sports up a notch.....might I gently suggest she is giving you her answer? Level 8 isn't a level to touch lightly on....is there any chance at all for an xcel program, even if it meant another gym nearby? There are some amazingly high level xcel girls out there! Especially as she has already dabbed in other sports, and it hasn't killed her interest....well...I don't see you being able to take those away without some real issues. Also, what are her goals with the sport? That is also important. I know that at level 10, often there aren't many teammates in general, but at level 7 there are usually some a girl can count on that are around her age group. I am sure she is thrilled to work with others at her age group.

Good luck. It is honestly so much harder on the parents when their kids stop doing an activity they have done for a long time, regardless of what it is. I wish you and her the best, and am sure you two will have talks in the future about the future.

I haven't broached the subject of Xcel with DD yet because in the past it was an emphatic no. However If she were to change, we have a pretty good xcel team, mostly gold and silver but 2 platinum, having competed 2 years of L 7 where would she enter as an Xcel according to the newest COP? I would like to suggest to her to switch to Xcel group for summer but continue to work her L 8 bar skills and twisting for floor and if they are not there by the end of summer to compete Xcel. Platinum or Diamond?

 

[catova]

My DD is in the same boat...does she continue on with gymnastics or quit and do HS sports? Gymnastics is her passion but not her talent. She just finished her 2nd season of L8 and will graduate from 8th grade next month. She's not a strong gym performer...always gets some medals but she's at the bottom of the pack at her competitive gym. She has a hard time acquiring skills/takes alot of time, and that's been impacted by multiple (but not career ending) injuries over the past two years. But she's injury free right now. DD has been able to continue to play soccer (dropped club soccer in 6th grade due to gym so just does higher level rec team) but only because the soccer coach allows her to skip practice entirely and play games around gym schedule. I really don't know how kids train in gym 24 hrs/week and meet other sports' commitments otherwise. DD also would be interested in cross country if no gym. At our small HS, she would be able to do both CC and soccer, and training starts this summer...but... the girl STILL wants to try for L9! I hate for her to give up the opportunity to meet new friends at the start of HS through sports (she is coming from a small private school joining a HS where most kids already know one another). But yet, as a mom, I will never tell her she should give up on her dream of being a 'higher level optional' simply because her natural athletic talent lies elsewhere...because it's not all about winning; it's about working hard and doing your best. How can I discourage her efforts to do just that? We have discussed the pros/cons of continuing in gym past this summer, vs. 'moving on'. Right now, she's giving herself until August to get all L9 skills and if she doesn't have them, she says she'll retire from gym and move on to HS sports. I believe she'll have the skills in some shape/form (she has many now) but not competition worthy; if that happens, I suspect she'll give up freshman year sports (and the acclimating to HS that would come with that) for even a chance at L9. I have made peace with it. Even at a small HS here (less competitive sports divisions), it's just not possible to do HS sports and gym. Both practice every school day during the season (also, HS sports have preseason, though she could miss that and theoretically still make the team). Tough stuff. Advice appreciated from 'been there done that' parents!