Parents Warning: delete this Instagram follower

[NMNorskie]

In the U.S., it's not legal for someone under age 13 to sign up for an account on Instagram, Facebook, etc. People do it, but it's not legal.

I have told my nine-year-old that there is zero chance we will be breaking that law. Then, when she's 13, I plan to unplug the internet router until she's 25.

 

[gymbeam]

is it illegal or just against user guidelines? i cant imagine its punishable by law, is it?

 

[2G1B]

In the U.S., it's not legal for someone under age 13 to sign up for an account on Instagram, Facebook, etc. People do it, but it's not legal.

I have told my nine-year-old that there is zero chance we will be breaking that law. Then, when she's 13, I plan to unplug the internet router until she's 25.

Is it actually *illegal*? I know that it is against the rules of the sites and that is what I tell my kids, "It is against the rules, we don't break the rules. I don't care what your friends do."

 

[Muddlethru]

And did anyone see Criminal Minds last night? Should totally scare the daylights out of anyone "inviting" followers to young kids...

Never watched Criminal Minds. Will do right now. Sounds like an interesting series.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Never watched Criminal Minds. Will do right now. Sounds like an interesting series.

scary as all he$$

 

[3gymgirlsmom]

My 6 yr old has an acct but it's mostly stock photos and i look at it al it's daily and do not allow her to tag etc, I am trying to use it to my advantage to teach them to be as safe as possible.
I have a 13 and 15 yr old who have Instagram as well and I do not them tag as well since even tho there accounts are private tagging makes that photo not private anymore

 

[anothergymmom]

We don't have to give in to the SM for our kids. We can refuse. My dd is 12. No instagram, no facebook. She does text with her friends. She asked about IG a couple of years ago when some of her friends got it. When I saw how much real junk (endless celebrity gossip etc) she might be exposed to I said no. She was mad for about a day. I didn't even know about all this "following" stuff. One reason I like gym so much is that it doesn't leave them much time for this sort of thing. We have talked a bit about creepy people lurking out in cyberworld and also about how it is more important to have real relationships with people she *knows* than these odd virtual connections. I am no amazing parent, I talked to a lot of friends with kids slightly older to get advice. My dd's school spent a lot of time talking about cyber citizenship and gave us a lot of good tips.

Honestly, I think the internet is so helpful for getting information quickly but there are a lot of deeply sick aspects to it as well.

 

[gymdog]

Is it actually *illegal*? I know that it is against the rules of the sites and that is what I tell my kids, "It is against the rules, we don't break the rules. I don't care what your friends do."

There is a law that mandates their minimum age be 13 and they have to verify birthdates. The problem is there's no way to verify birthdays because the kids just put in the dates that work, but the sites have to try and delete them if they find out. I'm not sure if the law really applies to the user, vs the service, if that makes sense.

 

[bogwoppit]

Remember not too long ago we had our own catfish here. BriBri514 was one. Now I actually know who she really is and about her real life. It terrifies me even more now I know what kind of person we let on here. We all thought we knew her, but we knew nothing.

 

[Gymmomto2]

Ok confession! My 12 yr old has an IG acct which is linked to my email. After all this talk, I went thru & deleted some she was following. I'm sure it was harmless but they were accts I could see pedophiles following too. Since they weren't her personal friends, maybe she won't notice.

 

[profmom]

I like 13 as a line in the sand. I do think we have an obligation to teach our kids about safe and responsible social networking and offer them opportunities to practice it, because once they become young adults, most will be expected to have an online persona of some sort. My eldest is the only one of my kids who interacts much online aside from texting friends, and he does so through a gaming community. All of his online interaction is done in our house's common space. We've had discussions with all of them about the permanence of things posted on the internet and the importance of caution in revealing personal information, but the latter lesson is not limited to the interet.

I know that shows like Criminal Minds and the media attention that catfishing has drawn have raised our consciousness of the risks out there to children, particularly the risk of sexual assault, but we should keep in mind that most perpetrators of sexual assaults against children are not strangers to the children they assault. Don't let your worries about the internet creepers blind you to the statistically more prevalent risks that may be around you. I think the best defenses against these kinds of risks are a strong sense of self worth, the capacity to evaluate situations independently and thoughtfully, and the ability to assert one's own interests and rights. The same skills that will help to keep them safe at age 13 online will help to keep them safe in all kinds of real-life situations they may encounter later on.

 

[vagymmomma]

I believe that COPPA is the primary federal law regulating age restrictions for the Internet. It falls under the jurisdiction of the FTC. Technically, any action would likely be taken against the Internet site allowing access to children. There have been several updates to the original law (and subsequent legislation) and there are a TON of exceptions to the requirements (i.e., parental consent). Some action has been taken, but it's a complex area of law.

Parents need to be diligent about monitoring their children's activities. Educate them -- maybe even put a little scare in them. It's a crazy world and even the most mature kids don't understand the evil that potentially lurks on the Internet. Reality though is that they will find their way there at some point, so education on safe usage is highly recommended.

 

[sce]

Ok confession! My 12 yr old has an IG acct which is linked to my email. After all this talk, I went thru & deleted some she was following. I'm sure it was harmless but they were accts I could see pedophiles following too. Since they weren't her personal friends, maybe she won't notice.

Probably better to discuss it with her than to just hope she doesn't notice. Teach her about responsibility using the internet.

 

[seoulmama]

Reality though is that they will find their way there at some point, so education on safe usage is highly recommended.

This is so true-I appreciate those that have banned social media. I've put my foot down about SnapChat. However, IG is an important social thing for tweens, and since my daughter spends 20 hours at the gym and doesn't have a lot of downtime with her school friends, IG helps her stay connected. I monitor my kids' accounts closely. I could miss something-and that scares me-but I also know that turning 13 isn't a gateway to better, rational thinking and I personally think it's unrealistic to keep them away from SM for their tween/teen years (not to mention they are savvy enough to be sneaky with their accounts). I'd rather them learn now that I read and check their accounts, be it texts, IG, browsing history so we can talk about pitfalls. In fact the IG thread on the WAG board gave me talking points for both my kids about the dangers of public accounts...and just how many people can see what you post-18 pages made even my 15 year old raise an eye brow!

 

[wallinbl]

I'd rather teach them to swim than to avoid pools.

 

[Ali'sMom]

My 12 year old has IG. I do police it. She's actually the only reason I even have an account. I have to approve all followers and followings. Even if it's just the next-door-neighbor.
She is allowed to look at public content, but at this point she is still of the nature that she will stop looking at anything that is deemed "inappropriate". She gets quite embarrassed. We talk about it. i know one day will come that she might get more interested instead of closing it, so I've got no blinders, but we do our best to teach her. And I hope every day she's learning

 

[gymbeam]

I'd rather teach them to swim than to avoid pools.

At the right age, that's my plan too.

 

[refugee]

In the U.S., it's not legal for someone under age 13 to sign up for an account on Instagram, Facebook, etc. People do it, but it's not legal.

Not quite...

I believe that COPPA is the primary federal law regulating age restrictions for the Internet. It falls under the jurisdiction of the FTC. Technically, any action would likely be taken against the Internet site allowing access to children...

This is correct. But COPPA is really about data privacy, marketing, and profiling. COPPA is the law that draws the 13 yr age rule...companies may not collect data from children (defined as under 13) for the purpose of marketing and profiling, under the assumption that children are easily impressed and manipulated. Of course, I know some adults who could use this protection, too

Because these companies DO collect data, profile, and market to the users, they cover their a**es by saying no one under 13. In reality, well...good luck, unless you're set on isolating your kid in a convent/monastery.

I spent 20 yrs in the emerging technology world. Change is a constant in this world. Keeping up with the apps my kids use is a challenge (both are over 13)--what they used as year ago is old news today, if they even open it anymore. Most of us know about FB, Twitter, IG, Snapchat. There's a ton more--ask.fm, Kik, Oovoo, YikYak, FireChat to start.

Some will say there is no redeeming value to these apps, but I have seen how my kids use them beyond socializing to collaborate on school projects. When your kid is in gym 25-30 hrs/week and school attracts kids from a variety of programs around your metropolitan area (we're 20 miles from school, others easily that far from the opposite direction), I'm glad they have options to get together for group projects after school, besides me spending even more time in the car! Long before gym for my kids and social media, I heard this same issue for friends who went to selective/exclusive schools.

 

[kandkfunk]

I absolutely agree that it's better to teach our kids how to interact with SM rather than ban it outright, once they hit the appropriate age. I think this is one area where parents disagree. What is the appropriate age. Is it 13? Is it 10? That is a parent specific decision.

My kids had Facebook before they were 13. I didn't fully understand or appreciate everything I know now, but I've always been vigilant in monitoring their accounts and talking to them about important things.

I just see too many kids who clearly don't have anybody monitoring them and it concerns me. Some kids have no filter. They post their entire lives on the Internet and I'm always left wondering where their parents are.

After years of watching this evolve, it just really feels like so many kids are just out there on their own doing whatever they please online. They have every app and are constantly engaged. Granted, I have two teens, so maybe I'm more jaded about all of this than someone who has younger kids.

 

[COz]

I don't use Instagram and am unlikely to ever want to.
I am very appreciative of this thread, learning a lot which might be useful when my kids are older.