what is requirments

[sally]

Just wanting to know from a coach point of view. When hiring a coach. What is the policy if you found out one of your coaches has mental issues. would you tell the parents of the children? How would you handle the situation?

 

[hawaii_gymnast]

What do you mean by mental issues?

 

[gymdog]

I guess it would depend on what the issue is, but unless there was some situation that involved the kids, then that information should be confidential. I'm not going to elaborate here, but I have had some pretty serious issues, I don't think it impacts my work. Bizarrely enough when I had to get treatment, it turned out the intake therapist I saw has a daughter who was enrolled in our classes the next week. Of course she kept it completely confidential and her daughter is still enrolled so I guess I'm not too concerning after all.

The idea of having your problems trumpeted all over your workplace is sickening to me. If the person is a danger to themselves or others, emotionally or physically, they should be removed immediately, period. Otherwise why is it anyone's business? Again if there is a danger the issue isn't gossiping, it's removing the person immediately.

 

[CoachGoofy]

I'd mind my own business.

I've got some 'cooties'. They aren't anyone's business until I make them such, & the stigma is far worse than the reality (as it is with many many MANY differences). To work with kids one has to pass a background check & that should be sufficient for anyone.

It violates a whole lot of boundaries to go saying "so hey coach so and so has this". In my not so humble but in fact rather passionate in this instance opinion, it's completely utterly unacceptable. I'd walk out of any business that violated my privacy like that & they'd be hearing from my lawyer and the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission the next day.

ahem. I have strong feelings on things.

 

[sally]

Hi thanks for that. However I am not involved I was just asking for a friend. I know the parent is taking it futher, by pulling her daughter out. I don't think the problem is that she has issues.. I think the problem is that the coach is taking it out on the kids, like being very cruel to the child and telling her that she is going to get kicked out, and making her do jumping when she is spose to be on light training as the child had a lower injury. I can understand the problem that the parent is going through as well. I know if it was my dd I don't think I would be to happy about the whole situation, especially when you are leaving them in the coaches care, with no parent allowed to watch, so you are entrusting them with your child. Personally I wouldn't care as long as it is not effecting my child in any way. I told my friend just to trust the owner that they will make the right decision.

 

[gymgurl]

Well i do not coach or anything but i would like to think that mental issues would not impact work.

Although most of the time it would not be considered necessary to inform parents of mental issues and for that matter why does your employer need to know whether you are depressed or overcoming bulimia or whatever the issue may be. I believe that if it is an issue that could put the children in a place of harm it is your obligation to tell the parents before they commit to the class. However, if no one is at risk why does anyone in the workplace need to know.

 

[gymdog]

Hi thanks for that. However I am not involved I was just asking for a friend. I know the parent is taking it futher, by pulling her daughter out. I don't think the problem is that she has issues.. I think the problem is that the coach is taking it out on the kids, like being very cruel to the child and telling her that she is going to get kicked out, and making her do jumping when she is spose to be on light training as the child had a lower injury. I can understand the problem that the parent is going through as well. I know if it was my dd I don't think I would be to happy about the whole situation, especially when you are leaving them in the coaches care, with no parent allowed to watch, so you are entrusting them with your child. Personally I wouldn't care as long as it is not effecting my child in any way. I told my friend just to trust the owner that they will make the right decision.

I'm not really sure I understand then. Clearly this a problem of coaching. I don't see where "mental issues" and whether to divulge them to others has any place. I would remove my child if the coach was unable to provide an acceptable environment and it doesn't really matter why. If I felt the situation in question was legally abusive then I would report it to authorities if the owner wasn't doing anything.

Also, not all gyms don't allow parents to watch. Personally I would not put a young child in a gymnastics program that didn't allow anyone to watch. Disturbingly enough, I just don't have faith in a significant proportion of people I've seen in this sport. I'm not entrusting them with any children.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Hi thanks for that. However I am not involved I was just asking for a friend. I know the parent is taking it futher, by pulling her daughter out. I don't think the problem is that she has issues.. I think the problem is that the coach is taking it out on the kids, like being very cruel to the child and telling her that she is going to get kicked out, and making her do jumping when she is spose to be on light training as the child had a lower injury. I can understand the problem that the parent is going through as well. I know if it was my dd I don't think I would be to happy about the whole situation, especially when you are leaving them in the coaches care, with no parent allowed to watch, so you are entrusting them with your child. Personally I wouldn't care as long as it is not effecting my child in any way. I told my friend just to trust the owner that they will make the right decision.

That isn't "mental issues" (which is stigmatising language, incidentally. But if I get on an ableism tear I'll be throwing away any anonymity I have left). That's being a poor coach.

Don't conflate the two, Loads of excellent coaches and other sorts of people have neuropsychiatric problems & are otherwise neurodivergent. Lots of people I wouldn't trust with a kid for 5 minutes couldn't be more textbook normal if there was a brain factory and they came from it.

*insert big long thing about stigma and this is why no one knows what my medicID says here*

 

[sally]

I am not having ago at anybody with any kind of issues, I know for fact that people can have normal life, as my family members have bipolar. I say mental issues as I do not want to say exactly what is wrong with the coach so I thought that might be a better way to put it. However I don't think it is bad coaching I think this poor coach is having a really hard time at the moment and I know my friend use to love the coaching her dd was getting. I just feel really bad for both of them, maybe if they had explained it to the parents at the start , maybe everything would be ok. Not knowing is the worst, as you don't know what is happening. I understand it is a very touchy subject but I feel if people put your trust into someone, you would want it back. I just thank god everyday that my dd does not have to go through somethng like that and she has a wonderful coach.

 

[sally]

Well i do not coach or anything but i would like to think that mental issues would not impact work.

Although most of the time it would not be considered necessary to inform parents of mental issues and for that matter why does your employer need to know whether you are depressed or overcoming bulimia or whatever the issue may be. I believe that if it is an issue that could put the children in a place of harm it is your obligation to tell the parents before they commit to the class. However, if no one is at risk why does anyone in the workplace need to know.

I agree with that. Only need to know if it is putting harm on the children

 

[CoachGoofy]

But...

and this is where people really don't get it...

being neurodivergent DOESN'T harm the kids.

Behavior that people assume is part of being neurodivergent when it's in fact part of for whatever reason having a really hard time might, but that isn't a given. Saying Coach XYZ is having a hard time because of their brain cooties and that's why blahblah is just layering stigma on something that's stigmatized enough already.

If someone is coaching poorly, they're coaching poorly. Don't drag their brain configuration into it. It pretty much never helps. It pretty much always hurts.

 

[gymdog]

I am not having ago at anybody with any kind of issues, I know for fact that people can have normal life, as my family members have bipolar. I say mental issues as I do not want to say exactly what is wrong with the coach so I thought that might be a better way to put it. However I don't think it is bad coaching I think this poor coach is having a really hard time at the moment and I know my friend use to love the coaching her dd was getting. I just feel really bad for both of them, maybe if they had explained it to the parents at the start , maybe everything would be ok. Not knowing is the worst, as you don't know what is happening. I understand it is a very touchy subject but I feel if people put your trust into someone, you would want it back. I just thank god everyday that my dd does not have to go through somethng like that and she has a wonderful coach.

I see what you're saying now, but I think either way no matter what explains the personality change, it is not okay. If it is something that is harming the kids, then the situation needs to change. Now if the employer is in a position to recommend as a friend (as is often the case in a gymnastics gym) that the person seek help and help them get it, that is one thing. But really let's say the person is having trouble coping and that is making them irritable and affecting their job (which is possible, sometimes these things don't affect our relationships with others and sometimes they do. It's a bit much to say they never would affect this or that...that's unrealistic too in my opinion). The harm to the children being done while they work through whatever isn't justifiable because they are really a good person. The employer definitely has to deal with the situation which is hard but necessary.

And again I'm not saying the coaching issues are due to this or that problem or condition. They could be, or they could not be...the person could just be under stress, or maybe they've come to resent their job for some reason, etc. That happens too.