Parents What's with the moms?

[DynamicMom]

I have noticed and not just lately that some moms of the kids on team are really not nice, and I'm saying that nicely. Seems to me that some moms at the gym are so catty, they can't stand it if your kid does one thing that is better than there's, it's a constant competition and it's between the moms. They act so bitter, they have there own click and just gossip and send off negative vibes. Now I talk to everyone, I'm pretty outgoing and I hope all the kids on the floor succeed not just mine. I'm the mom that is cheering for the kids that are not even her own, but I've noticed that some moms in the booster club act as if they were in high school it's insane. I don't get it, are we not all there for the same reason?

 

[margymmom]

All I can say is...yep. Usually you can find a few like-minded parents who keep things in perspective. Try to spend more time with them-the others will usually tire of your conversation if you don't have anything ugly to contribute...which is the best situation for you. Good luck!

 

[Scout's Mom]

It's not just in gym.....it's everywhere! I've encountered those same attitudes in moms from preschool playgroups up through college!

It's easy to get sucked in to it too!

You're being a great example for your daughter! Just keep that in mind when they're driving you crazy.

 

[MdGymMom01]

That sounds JUST LIKE my old cheer gym!! The moms (and some dads) were so catty and often to the point of rude and ignorant. That's one of the main reasons why I left that gym. It got downright ugly. It's quite a shame that grown adults have to act like that and I just didn't want to be around it anymore. But then again leaving a gym because of catty and negative parents isn't always the answer. My suggestion is stay away from them. Try to be as positive as you can and ignore the negativity. I know--this is often easier said then done. Maybe leave a couple copies of 101 Ways to be a Positive Sports Parent in the waiting area!!!! Maybe they will get the hint. Or better yet, at my old gym someone photocopied an article on "Over-Involved Parents" and taped it to every door for the parents to read at their own leisure. I'm not sure if it worked but maybe it made a few parents wake-up.

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

Look at the thread titled parental code of conduct. You could print a few of those and tape them up in the waiting area I actually started a similar post at one point - but I think I called it crazy moms - unfortunately there are quite a few out there. As others suggested - don't get sucked in and avoid those moms like the plague !!!

Oh, and MdgymMom - dd2 did all star cheer for 2 years - and yeah - I don't think there is anything worse than crazy cheer moms !!!!

 

[MdGymMom01]

Yes indeed, flippymonkey! I was sooo niave when I started my dd in cheer. I had "heard" about crazy cheer moms but didn't really understand why people called them "crazy". I definitely know now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :yikes:

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

thats one thing our gym is good at i see all the moms cheering for hte other kids its great!! some even have come up to me saying how much my girls have improved and how excited they are about it.
It just is soo nice.

At the Elem school my girls go to man do I see it often!!!!Its horrible.
I am glad that the actual people I hang out with or my dds friends there paretns are really supportive of all the kids not just there own.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I do not think we have any of "those" mom's at our gym. At least not that I have noticed. Everyone cheers for all the girls. I have even been known to shed a tear of joy (along side another mom) when someone else's kid gets a new trick.

 

[littlekateskate]

Lol, I thought figure skating was bad. But this week at dd class (5-6 year olds). We were sitting really close to the kids. And there were three parents the whole time saying point your toes, legs up, ect ect. I was like OMG we are paying the coach for that! It was crazy!!

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

We have some of those moms too, guess you just can't avoid them. Luckily out of 30 team kids, there are only 2-3 of these parents. I'm one of the moms who attends meets to cheer on other team kids, even when my own are not competing in that session or meet!!

Crazy cheer moms? My girls tried out for our town's competition squad last week and I've already met 1 of them!!

 

[Blackie6]

We have a couple in our gym too. Last February as me and another mom were making that big decision to let our DD's try L4 team & another "experienced" mom tried to talk us out of it, LOL! During meet season her and a couple like you described sat together and would only cheer for their DD's while a bunch of us cheered for all the girls. This year they moved on along to L5 with their attitudes. Now we have a great group of moms who are genuine and fun to be with. But like someone else mentioned I think any kids sport has a group of "those" moms. There are a couple at our Jr baseball field and also the PTO group at school. My best advice, stay clear of them, ignorance is bliss, you don't even want to know how mean some of them are. My DD went onto team same time as a couple other girls so I guess we've formed a bit of a clique too but are much more welcoming to newcomers to the gym and pre-teamers gettimg ready to join. We like to think the more the merrier and with new faces come new friends. Hang in there and keep setting a good example, pretty soon you'll probably have your own little group to hang with. There are moms just like you and you will find them, LOL

 

[Livinatthegym]

Ok, here's my experience -- the lower the competative level, the worse the parents. By optionals, we've been together so long, and know every athlete's strengths and weaknesses so well, that any drama that might have existed once is long since forgotten.

The great thing about gymnastics is that each girl competes--alone. There's no vying for the solo spot or the flyer position, so those people who want thier kids to be stars eventually settle down or move on. I think optionals provides a reality check because at this level everybody gets bad meets--the routines are harder, the skills are bigger, and you see a lot more falls. Then, some of those mediocre compulsories start charging up the ranks and start knocking off the former champions (those compulsory queens aren't always the best optionals). Yeah, three years (levels 4, 5, and 6) is a long time to wait for somebody to get a little humility, but it'll come.

 

[Granny Smith]

When I am at a meet, I cheer for everyone of the girls on the team. I truly want all of them to do well. If someone places higher than my dd, oh well, I rather it be a teammate than another gym - this is also what I try to tell dd too, I say be happy it's your teammate, the scores are what they are.

I do think it is a little overboard though when there are moms at the gym and jump up and down and squeal with delight when their dd gets a skill. There are quite a few of the moms that will do that it seems everytime their dd gets a new skill and actually will cause a big scene. The observation area is not just for team moms, but for rec parents too and I find it a little "too over the top" for me. I will also say though that I don't act that way for my own child either. For some other moms, you would think that they were actually in the gym getting the skill, not the girls.

So to the OP, if you are talking about behavior in the gym or at a meet I think you can see 2 totally different reactions. I am happy for all of the girls, but my reaction in the gym may not be out there for the world to see.

 

[DynamicMom]

I do think it is a little overboard though when there are moms at the gym and jump up and down and squeal with delight when their dd gets a skill.

I don't really mind if someone gets pumped when there kid gets something. I love it when dd will look for me when she gets something and then wants to hear my approval. I would love it if all the moms were happy, and wanted to share in there child joys, of course that can be done in many ways! Only that's not the case, it's more of the snippy comments, and the gossip. I'm going to take all the great advice I received and avoid these moms like the plague. They are only bringing down the kids and the gym, and I don't really have the time or energy to surround myself with the negativity they bring. It's just an unfortunate situation that I'm sure everyone has to deal with at sometime, I just wish they would refrain from it in front of the kids! Now with that being said I really do love the coaches and how they are with the kids, so I'll just make sure to lead by example!

 

[Deleted member 1703]

Isn't it so sad that some parents lose sight of whom exactly is competing? It is actually the person on the apparatus and not the ones sitting outside behind the glass.

Good sportsmanship begins at home.

What can we do about it? I really don't know as sometimes that sort of behaviour can spill over into others in a group. Perhaps approach the club head and ask for some sort of a parental code of conduct to be published / displayed. It might make them think more about their behaviour and probably wont do any harm.

 

[vmom]

It seems there are parents like this (dads too, not just moms) at every gym. I wonder if it's that they want their child to do well and feel good about themselves and it gets distorted along the way? (I hope so anyway, I'd hate to think there are grown adults out there that want other children to fail.)
Now in all honesty, I too get frustrated when a girl who shows up to practice and goofs around, disrupting everyone, goes to meets and blows everyone out of the water. My dd in the meantime just plugs along, working so hard to attain what comes naturally to the other. But, I still try to be one of the most vocal parents cheering for the girl who goofs off when she places first!
We parents need to be an example for our kids. How can we expect our girls to not act clique-ish and superior, if the parents are doing just that? I do hope these intense parents are the minority out there. They are at my dd's gym.