Parents When to pull from competitive team?

[gym_newb]

my DD was invited to "team"she's a level 2 but the worst on her team. Her legs aren't straight on her vault if she even gets into it and she hasn't gotten her pull over yet. Her competition is end of January and I'm nervous she'll be made fun of and I slightly feel that the gym just wanted the money at this point.

Of course my DD loves it and I would feel terrible saying you aren't great so don't really know what to do. She's 7 and from what I've seen she should be farther along.

It also doesn't help feeling judged by another very rude team mom so I'm struggling if this is more of my issue or something I should address. Any veteran gym moms ever dealt with this? Thanks!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Does your daughter enjoy herself? If she does let it be.

As far as the CGM, thing. Don't stay at practice. Spend as little time with the grown ups as possible. Really why let an absolute stranger (essentially) drive what you, your family and daughter do.

For the record, my daughter's group is now going on 10-12 yrs old. They started as L2 together. They are L5-L6 heading to L6-L7 in Feb.

The form for all the kids have cleaned up big time. The better kids are still better. But the others are catching up significantly.....................

 

[Aussie_coach]

Level 2 is still very early on in the training journey. So,etimes kids need to get out there and compete for a bit to actually understand what it is all about. Once they see that if they straighten those legs and point those toes, they win medals and trophies then it will seem more important to them.

The gym put her on the team for a reason, they saw something in her. It is unlikely it was for the money, it is much better financially to have more kids in rec and less kids in team in a gym. For every team kid in the gym you could usually have 5 rec kids training in the same space of hours and paying a premium hourly rate.

 

[triplethreat+1]

I totally get it, op. I was really wondering about my dd7, but she has recently made huge improvements, after months of nothing (it seemed). I know it's cliche to say give it some time, but it's true!
I haven't experienced the parent issue, but I've noticed there are people who are only too happy to be 'better' than someone else (or their child); also the possible related thought "I thought you had to be talented to get invited, then how did that child get on team? And then maybe Susie isn't so special after all..." Cuz most parents can't see potential... especially in someone else's kid!

 

[Madden3]

She is 7 and just getting started. You ever see a batch of 7 year olds play soccer? Ever listen to a 7 year old take a piano lesson? My point is, so what if she is not setting the world on fire?

I do not know if I am a veteran gym mom but this is my 6th year with a child on team. I have two sons on team. I would suggest:
Do not talk to other team parents about how the kids are doing. Sometimes this is fine but more often it is not, and certainly not if there is a rude mom in the mix who makes derogatory comments about the abilities of different kids on the team. If you have concerns about your daughter's progress, consider talking to her coaches. Privately.
Kid sports are for fun and learning, whether it is rec softball or team gym. I think team gym can make us a bit crazy because of the comparative expense and hours. It feels like it should be different, so we make it different in our minds. But the only real difference is that it is a hard sport that requires a slow progression of skills and so it takes way longer and more time commitment to learn how to do it. Yet to the minds of most kids it is still just a kids' sport, and not more than that.
Every kid, no matter how good, will struggle at some point. At many points, usually. To avoid misery, find other reasons to appreciate gymnastics for your child aside from how your child "does" compared to others.

 

[gym_newb]

Wow thank you so much! I definitely will be taking all of your advice and let DD guide us through her team gym adventure.

 

[profmom]

My daughter was consistently one of the worst on the team at her level from the time she started competing at age 7. Now she's 15 but she's made it to L8 and has stuck at it, even though she didn't have a meet season last year due to injury. She gets a lot more out of gym than medals at meets. The further they go, the more important building on their accomplishments becomes. And of course, at the lower levels, there is no telling who is going to be great at gymnastics. We've seen kids switch places many times, and many kids who looked a lot better than my daughter when they were compulsories have since left the sport for various reasons.

I'm pretty sure this is not at all unheard of, but both of my gymnasts have had the experience of finishing both first and last on events through their competition careers.

 

[Faith]

Fwiw mine was the worst on her squad at 7. Bent legs, no flexibility, just a little powerpack who had two speeds, very fast and extremely fast.

Within 6 months she'd really tidied up. And it turns out she thrives in competition so even though i had the same thoughts as you she suprised everyone, beating even the little superstar on the elite track.

Sometimes it's no bad thing being the worst in the group. No expectation or pressure, and it develops a work ethic.

 

[mariposa]

Give her time! And ignore the rude parents. I once had the mom (who I thought was a friend and our kids were friends) of a very naturally talented kid tell me that if my kid were hers, she wouldn't keep paying for gymnastics, that she'd help her find something she was better at. That she wouldn't be "paying for those scores". I even originally questioned why the coach that moved her up to preteam had done so because she stuck out like a sore thumb because of her lack of form and flexibility, but when I asked to make sure she shouldn't switch classes, she said she had what a lot of kids with natural talent don't...heart and determination.

That was 8 years ago and my kid slowly, but surely kept progressing and her form got better each year. She's a beautiful gymnast who still has to work hard to have good form and says she always has to think about it, but is still in gym and yes, she still struggles, but she seems to love it and be happy most days.

And I'd like to say that mom got nicer (she didn't) and her kid has passed up mine easily. BUT my kid has held her own and overcome challenges along the way that have shaped her and shown her many life lessons. So it's a good thing (well, most days, [emoji16]) that I didn't listen to that mom or my doubts and pull her from gymnastics.

 

[e'smum]

I 2nd staying out of the gym and away from negative parents. you are going to get gym drama no matter what gym you go to. i let mine just go into the gym on her own and now i have my dh pick her up b/c my back is hurt. we have a great group of parents but there's always drama.

 

[3gymgirlsmom]

My dd started out one of the worst on the team , this last meet (her 3rd and last meet of the season since she was last to join level 4) she ended getting 1st on one event and 2nd on another and was asked to TOPs this past summer and From what I have heard may even be one of the stronger kids on the whole team now (she is obsessed with conditioning)

 

[3rd_time_around]

My middle daughter had to work harder at gym than her talented older sister. One season she was scoring 6s on bars. The next season she was the state champion for old Level 5! And Floor and AA state champion. One season she couldn't stick a cartwheel on the beam, the next season she never missed a cartwheel. Don't worry, if she's enjoying it and having fun and making progress, then she's fine. Compare her to herself. Have small goals each month or each meet that she can hit and feel accomplished,

My ydd right now is on Level 1, and sometimes when I watch her, I feel like the other moms are thinking "how'd she get on this team?" LOL! But I don't care, she's having fun and so much improved since they started team practice this summer.

 

[CCGymbug]

My daughter wasn't great when she started XB at 6 3/4. Last year she improved in lvl 3 but still mediocre compared to others. But after started to compete she had more drive to do better and really worked her bottom off. This year she is rocking lvl 4 and just got her very first 1st AA! It was our 1st official big meet of the season. She is up training now for 5/6 and her coach hopes to score her out of 5 and move up to 6 next fall. 1 gym had said she wasn't even good enough for their pre-team. There is another little who is almost 2 years younger with tons of natural talent. But isn't scoring as well and was very discouraged last meet. Last year she spent alot of time on the podium. They truly do get there and you will be thrilled when it clicks and the progress takes off! Just keep cheering her on and encouraging her to stretch etc at home. I hope to see a happy post soon!

 

[CuriousCate]

That she wouldn't be "paying for those scores".

GASP! Someone actually SAID this to you???

 

[mariposa]

GASP! Someone actually SAID this to you???

Yes, someone who I actually thought was a friend. We were friends outside gymnastics and our kids were, too. I took it as a differing opinion at first, but later learned she was just a very toxic person.