Parents When to quit?

[Gymmom2011]

Advice needed: Hi guys my daughter is 11 and training level 8. We just moved to a new city and after trying a few gyms, she joined one about a month ago. She currently has shin splints pretty bad and her passion for the sport doesn’t seem to be there right now. She says she wants to quit because:

A- she is in pain( regular gymnast aches and pain in addition to shin splints)
B- she has no connection to her new coaches (due to being so new) to encourage her and carry her through the injury
C-since she can’t tumble or punch, she hasn’t been able to get her new routines and the conditioning/training she is doing isn’t “fun” for her.
D-she just started middle school and her work load has increased as well. With training 25 hours a week, she is feeling stressed out juggling her homework(homeschool is not an option)and practice.

This is the first time she has ever said she wanted to quit and does not want to try another gym or move to Xcel. She has expressed an interest in dance and wants to take dance lessons. Do I push her to continue on and wait her injury out or so I let her walk away from the sport she has loved so dearly for the past 4 years? Any advice?

 

[Aussie_coach]

It actually sounds like there is a possibility that she may regret the descision to quit. If the kids are over it and not motivated and not enjoying training for no specific reason, it often means they are ready to move on from the sport. But her lack of motivation seems to be very much related to the shin splints, and the problems they are causing, rather than a loss of interest in the sport.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Sounds a little like one of my gymnasts. In our country, she's been placed in the National Team for girls. She had good season last year but her shin splints started to hurt a lot at the beginning of the summer and the situation is pretty bad right now. Floor and vault are by far her favorite events, but now that she can't really do them a lot she's stuck on bars and beam. And she doesn't enjoy these events as much. The situation was much better and in balance when she could get a lots of success, positive feedback and encouragement on her favorite events and she could pull through the bars and beam much happier and with good work ethic. But now she's pretty miserable because her bars and beam really need work and she's improving very slowly there. She feels like she's very bad gymnast, because even on the days when her shin splints are ok and she can do some tumbling, it's off course a mess because she's not gotten many repetitions over the summer and she feels like losing all her cool tumbling.

We've discussed the situation a lot. I'm afraid she's losing the joy for gymnastics. I try my best at cheering her up and making her understand that it's a real injury and we just have to take time to be patient. And I try to cheer for even small improvements on her beam and bars.

She's in Middle School and starting to face a lot of pressure to do well in school also. She told me one day that school is really stressing her out, especially English and other languages. According to her mom she's still doing well and getting good grades, but not straight As like her older (gymnast) sister does and I think that she's comparing herself to her.

She's also feeling like some of her team mates are not her best friends anymore, they are getting interested in boys and stuff and don't always want to put the in the work at practice.

I just try to keep the conversation open with her and her parents. I think that only teamwork can get us through this.

My advice to all who are thinking about quitting is taking the time and waiting until injuries have healed and things are going up swing. If you still want to quit then, then retire happily and find something else to do.

 

[John]

I would like to add that through life experience it became apparent to me that quiting when things are bad can lead to regret. Your daughter is 11 she does not have the ability to fully realize regret. Maybe a open conversation about healing, to 100 percent, followed by a month or two of quality training before making the decision to retire is the best way to handle her current feelings.

 

[raenndrops]

For those mentioning the possibility of regret... she could always go back to gym after she heals if that is what she wants to do.
Most teams are locking parents into paying for the season around this time of the year. I think she needs an opportunity to see what it is like without going to gym for hours on end. Maybe see if the gym would agree to giving her a month or 2 off to properly recover. Let her get a handle on school and heal and then decide if she really wants to be in the gym.

 

[LJL07]

Similar situation: my 11 yr old also level 8 daughter was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis. She had to sit out a year and is still recovering range of motion in her foot. We don’t have many gym options here esp for level 8 and up, and long story, she had bounced around gyms the past year. As a family we decided it was time to move on to a new sport. She was pretty discouraged from the physical pain and the gym situations. Not even two weeks later after “quitting,” she begged to go back. I was not thrilled bc we have been through a lot for this sport. However, her pain is improving from new medications, and we made a bunch of calls and are now commuting to a new gym. She is pretty happy so far and getting excited to at long last compete this season. So I would agree with the others that quitting due to the circumstances you mention might lead to regret, but it sure is hard to keep going when you are in the trenches like that. Keep us posted.

 

[lhmom]

Mine quit in 6th grade. She had a rough level 8 season (ending with a fall on floor at the state meet, crushing any. hopes of making it to regionals). She had multiple pains due to Severs and tendinitis as well. I did ask her to stick it out for a few months post state to make sure that she really wanted to quit, that she wasn’t making a rash decision due to what happened. She did what I asked and before we had to commit to the next season (in June), she told me that she was done. At that point, I felt that she had honestly given it her best effort and that she was ready to move on. It’s been over 2 years and she has not regretted it.

 

[Daffodil]

I know the typical gymnastics mantra is to try to help the kids push through. However, I think it is sometimes helpful to also remember that gymnastics is not life. I had a 13 year old level 9 with a history of numerous injuries and chronic pain and an 11 year old level 7 who suffers from fears. They recently took a step back to JOGA instead of USAG. My 13 year old no longer wakes up in pain every day. My 11 year old no longer drives herself crazy stressing about the next required skill. They truly are happier. They have started trying other sports, can now participate in activities at school, are not stressed about getting homework done, and can actually see their friends on occasion. It was a great decision that they came to on their own. I only mention it as a positive example of the flip side. Good luck. I know it is a very tough decision.

 

[Faith]

I agree with raendrops.

Give her a couple of months off. That will allow her head and body to heal. She’ll know after that if she wants to go back.

 

[Onodi]

I would see a sports medicine physician and get some recommendations.