When your gymnast friends move on?

[ruhstorferfamily]

Our daughter tried gymnastics in dec 2010 due to us moving around (prior military) we didn't enroll her until ten months ago putting her at seven years old. Since then she has just fallen head over heels for the sport and is now ten months later in level four- due to compete in Sept if all goes well.

Well, some of her friends also moved from preteam to level four are now moving up a group (not a level but a group they have our gym in same levels different groups I am guessing advance, med, and beg four? not sure really) but her close friends moved to a different group and she is seriously bummed out about it. I and one of the mothers tried explaining these girls have several years of practice on her and they have terminology more stregnth (it doesn't help my daughter has the long lean build too, pretty lines though. lol) but we are new to this sport and I don't want to annoy the coaches more than I think I already do trying to understand this sport (being a mom who doesn't know much about it in a whole)..... what do I do for my daughter? it breaks my heart to see her disappointed in herself- I also think my daughter is rather competitive so I am thinking its a combo thats bothering her she feels beat? and the friends not there in the same group.

 

[gymgal]

It's always tough when friends move on but this is very common in this sport. Let her know she will make friends with other girls. As for the competitive nature. Use that to motivate her. She may just need a little more time to catch up. Help her come up with little goals for herself.

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[bogwoppit]

Very common both ways. Getting moved up without friends, or getting left behind. It is the nature of the sports and I just reminded my girls that each year they get a whole new group of friends. Sometimes girls will catch up with thos ewho moved olong faster, sometimes girls will fall back to groups as well. They all learn at such different rates.

If every girl learned at the same rate we have thousands of elites.

Still not a fun thing to deal with though.

 

[MaryA]

Kids will move up levels, kids will repeat levels, kids will switch gyms, kids will quit, kids will switch into your gym from other gyms. If you approach the coach every time your daughter is separated from her "best friends," you're in for a hard time of it. She will make new "best friends," and will likely be reunited with the old ones in the future. We've had a roller-coaster year at our house, with a new gym (for one daughter) and a new school (for both). We were all stressed out in the fall, but now everyone is thriving and happy with the changes. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. Assure your daughter that she is making great progress and that she is progressing at exactly the right speed for her.

 

[gymgurl]

It's tough for a daughter to not be with her friends. If its not being with her friends that bothers her remind her that she can see them before or after training and then on weekends if she wants but if its feeling like she isn't good enough for that group talk to her about reaching her personal best and use that competitive drive to motivate her

 

[Aussie_coach]

As others have said. You will get this a lot in gymnastics. Gymnastics is a ver individual journey, it is not like school where everyone will move up together year after year. It is better for your daughter to see this at a young age than for it to happen to her for the first time when she is older.

Also never be afraid to ask questions and find out why. If your coaches are not willing to chat to parents and answer questions, then I would even consider finding another gym. Your daughter is going to spend a large portion of her life with these adults, you need the lines of communication to be very open.

 

[ruhstorferfamily]

Thank you all, there is some great advice on here. I think you are right it is a good lesson to learn now rather than later. I think I need to explain to her it is an individual sport too, I never even think thats has crossed either of our minds (seeing how we are pretty new to the sport). Thanks again I will take it all into mind and talk to her

 

[Azgymmiemom]

Hi, there! Welcome to the CB. I see you are in AZ...me, too!!

Unfortunately, this is how it goes in gymnastics. My dd gets very attached to kids, too, and it's hard if they move at different times, but so far, she has adjusted. Our gym team is fairly small compared to some, so they still see each other all the time anyway. And like gymgurl said, if she really wants to keep a friendship, outside gym plans can be made. We do this a lot. My dd also has a few friends that don't do gym at all-these relationships are very special to her. There's no competitiveness or compairasons with these kids. She likes that!

Again, welcome and good luck to your dd as she starts off on her team career!! Maybe we will see you at a future meet!

 

[GymWithoutEnd]

Tell your daughter, her gymnastics is her journey. It is her very own personal experience, not to be compared to anyone else. Some of the girls who seem to be ahead of her now, will quit by summer. It's a numbers game and the numbers in this sport are always changing.

After many, many years in the sport with my older children, we learned that the world of gymnastics is so small, that we never had to really say good-bye, just see you later. Gymnasts and Coaches go round and round, and while it's always good to be friends with the folks you are with currently, there's a good chance you will see the old friends again in one place or another!

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. She will make new friends in the group she's in soon enough, and you can make sure that she can have play dates with her other friends if they don't go to the same school. Besides, she'll move up eventually and I bet they'll be in the same group at some point again...it happens in school, too, once they get to middle and high school when one year you have 3 classes with your best friend and the next year you don't have any.