Parents Why are some parents never satisfied?

[TexasRose]

Our team had their first meet last weekend. One of the moms who didn't take her girls, both level 3's like mine, was at practice yesterday. The first thing she asked me was which level 3 girl did the worst. Seriously. I told her that they all did wonderful and we were all very proud. She said, but which one got the lowest scores. I got more than a little irritated with that. 1- probably because my DD was the one with the lowest scores and I (very stupidly) was a little embarassed- even though I know that's stupid and DD did awesome- remembered her routines and did her best at her first meet ever. 2- I was annoyed because she asked in such a negative way and I felt it really wasn't her business since she didn't even go to the meet. I can't stand negativity like that and I need to learn to not let it affect me. Silly I know. But I'll make sure not to sit by her at the meet if all she wants to talk about is negative...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

not "silly'.

 

[TexasRose]

Dunno- I felt silly that I let her comments affect my view on DD's scores. I am so proud of how she did and she met all her goals- to remember routines and not fall off an appartus- but when this mom started talking about "worst" and "lowest" it made me feel like DD didn't do "good" enough. Which I know is totally silly. This is the same mom that will sit the entire 3 hour practice and critique how the coaches are spotting, what the girls are doing, talk about all the children and what level they "should" be in, etc. Definitely one that I avoid on a regular basis. I gave her a try and met with her outside of gym but it was the same there too so we're just not compatible. I just hope that she's not hard on her girls at their first meet in a couple weeks if she isn't happy with their scores...But it's out of my control so I'm not going to let it ruin my day! Just like the thread says- some parents are never satisfied!!!

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

that woman needs to get a life.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Dunno- I felt silly that I let her comments affect my view on DD's scores. I am so proud of how she did and she met all her goals- to remember routines and not fall off an appartus- but when this mom started talking about "worst" and "lowest" it made me feel like DD didn't do "good" enough. Which I know is totally silly. This is the same mom that will sit the entire 3 hour practice and critique how the coaches are spotting, what the girls are doing, talk about all the children and what level they "should" be in, etc. Definitely one that I avoid on a regular basis. I gave her a try and met with her outside of gym but it was the same there too so we're just not compatible. I just hope that she's not hard on her girls at their first meet in a couple weeks if she isn't happy with their scores...But it's out of my control so I'm not going to let it ruin my day! Just like the thread says- some parents are never satisfied!!!

i understood how that person made you feel. it's silly to feel silly. it's a normal reaction to a blowhard...where the use of 3 of your phalanges in an upward position may have shut this person up.

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

Our team had their first meet last weekend. One of the moms who didn't take her girls, both level 3's like mine, was at practice yesterday. The first thing she asked me was which level 3 girl did the worst. Seriously. I told her that they all did wonderful and we were all very proud. She said, but which one got the lowest scores. I got more than a little irritated with that. 1- probably because my DD was the one with the lowest scores and I (very stupidly) was a little embarassed- even though I know that's stupid and DD did awesome- remembered her routines and did her best at her first meet ever. 2- I was annoyed because she asked in such a negative way and I felt it really wasn't her business since she didn't even go to the meet. I can't stand negativity like that and I need to learn to not let it affect me. Silly I know. But I'll make sure not to sit by her at the meet if all she wants to talk about is negative...

Arrgghh! And I'm one of those people who can't put three words together when someone makes me feel this way. The whole night I think of snappy things that I "should have said." This lady sounds like the reason some parents are not allowed in the waiting area

 

[sportzmomov3]

I have always found that feigning complete ignorance stops these conversations dead in their tracks.
You don't need to think of anything clever, and you're not being rude - you just are plain dumb.
Trust me, it has served me well all these years.

I know far more than I will ever let on, and no one needs to know but me.

 

[MaryA]

Or just have a stock answer. When my twin DD's ask me which one of them is better at this or that, I have learned to say, "You each have your own strengths." Doesn't matter I'd they're asking about math or hula hooping or whatever. "You each have your own strengths" is all I'll say. Maybe you need a mantra, "All the girls worked really hard and had a great time." or some such thing.

 

[TexasRose]

Yes, I usually answer her as vague as possible and then leave. I don't stay and watch practice for this reason because she stays the entire time plus I've learned from this forum and other gym moms that it just breeds gossip and drama.

Dunno- I could try your advice. of course I may go to jail but it would relieve some stress... lol

Thanks everyone!!!

 

[Mom2Brats]

OK, so I have to admit that I had a bit on an insight into how a parent like that might feel at our last meet. DD (L7) usually scores her highest on beam and floor. This last meet, which was her first at L7, she scored the highest on vault and bars. Really, I was beside myself with giddy happiness for her scores on those, which were higher than she'd ever gotten since L4. BUT, I have to admit that I was really disappointed in her beam. Not because she scored low (she got an 8.65, which didn't get her on the podium but is respectable) but because I've seen her do it so much better in practice. Many times. Over and over. She usually has a brilliant connection on her BWO-BHS, and really nice jumps but everything was so timid and cautious at this meet. It was such a weird feeling because she did really well and yet there was this little nagging part of me that kept thinking about how much better she could have done if only....

So it's a good thing that I have the Chalk Bucket and could think back to this thread and countless others and remember to keep my mouth shut and not complain about anything but instead say, "Thanks, I'm proud of her."

 

[wallinbl]

I have a daughter that is consistantly on the podium. When other gym parents say something about it like " WOW your DD did really great!!" I am at a loss as to what I should say. Do I agree and seem like I am a beeming and bragging parent? I am fairly new at this and I don't want to offend anyone. I have said some things that may have come across critical just trying to "tone it down". I have finally gotten to where I say something along the lines of Thank you and yes we were proud of her. I am in a lose vs. lose situation if their DD did not place well. I am also aware that with my DD being L5 and doing well that that could change over the years and her teamates will be above her in the years to come. So, if the parent you were talking about seems critical she just maybe "stuck" in a bad conversation situation. Give yourself a chance to know her and see what kind of person she really is. You can always back away later but in the mean time you may lose a friend you didn't even know you had.

I usually just reply with something saying that she's worked really hard and we're proud of her hard work. I try to drop the scores/medals out of the reply.