Parents Why does my daughter have so many mental blocks?

[bestmommyever1234]

Hi parents/coaches, I am a coach and parent so I do understand the nature of mental blocks and why they happen. But my daughter is not per se…. normal with these mental blocks. She has had her RBH for about 2.5 months now and every practice she manages to do one which is good, but it takes her forever every practice (around 30 mins) to get over the fear and to actually connect the 2 skills which I am concerned about because she has this skill but it feels like she’s learning all over again every practice. The same thing happens with vault, she can do a half on and a front handspring, but it takes her forever to actually do the skill without being afraid. I love my daughter and I’m wondering if this has something to do with her mental state and mental health. I’ve been told by her coaches she is very unconfidant on most events and I would like to get that fixed.

 

[Dahlialover]

Some people are more risk-aware than others and they struggle with activities that involve danger. This is not a sign of poor mental health or a general lack or confidence. If she were afraid to cross the street, ride in a car, order at a restaurant, etc, that would be a sign of a mental health or confidence issue. Feeling afraid of running full speed towards a stationary object or flipping upside down backwards onto your hands is COMPLETELY SANE! Your daughter is normal, the gymnasts who are not afraid of these things are the weird ones!

What this means is that she needs parents and coaches who are patient and understanding. It will likely take her more time than average to become fully comfortable with new skills. It’s not a problem that needs fixing, it’s just her temperament. Just let her do things at the pace that is right for her.

Also, she may not enjoy doing gymnastics at a higher level due to her risk-sensitivity. It would be a good idea to encourage her to explore a variety of safer extracurricular activities that might better suit her personality. Good luck!

 

[tryagain]

Just to echo Dahlialover: I was that sort of gymnast and while there were lots of things going on in my life that later led to mental health issues (eating disorder, but not general anxiety), I am sure my fearfulness at gymnastics had absolutely nothing to do with that. I also was afraid of vault (only vaulted without spot at meets), took forever each session to dare put my feet on the beam on a cartwheel (could do hundreds without falling on low beam, but always bailed out on high beam), and flat out refused to do back walkovers and back handsprings on high beam (the end of my gymnastics "progression"). I was always afraid in a specific way - cartwheel on beam was splitting the beam, most backwards things was breaking my neck, etc. - on the other hand, I was never afraid of something like a front somi because if I fell, I would land on my bum with no harm done. That still seems sane to me.

I now, at age 47, climb and everybody laughs at me for only top-roping and refusing to lead or to climb outdoors, but to me it seems like a no-brainer to avoid any additional risk I can. In life, I am wary of flying because, while it is super unlikely, a plane can crash and that would be fatal, I am afraid of cancer, and one ingredient of me not driving (outside lack of necessity where I live and environmental concerns) is the worry of killing someone, but I have never understood fear of (non-poisonous) spiders which have no way of harming me, and while I may be nervous before giving a big conference talk (scientist), I am not anxious/scared (worst case, I make an idiot of myself but I'll survive!) - you get the idea.

If your child can get interested in other sports, that would be great, but for me, gymnastics was my only sporting love as a child, despite my lack of progress due to extreme caution. It was only as an adult that I started to enjoy swimming, dance, climbing, etc. So she might insist on gymnastics and just progress very slowly/stall and that's okay. What helped me a lot was a change to some low-level optionals (maybe a bit like excel, but this was in the late 80s/early 90s and I am not from the US, so don't know the system well), where I could expand skills laterally and find additional non-scary skills.

 

[Pricess_leia]

I too am like that, constantly battling with fear. But I have become very passionate about it. It is one of my favorite parts of doing gymnastics; learning about my brain, figuring out strategies that help, and finally getting confident in a skill are highly rewarding to me. Yes, it is frustrating at times, but it’s worth it.
I also can relate to the feeling of relearning a skill every practice. It feels like one step back two steps forward or even one and a half steps forward. Growth is not linear. And fear doesn’t make sense. But eventually you will see the improvement.
While her temperament to be more prone to mental blocks and fear cannot be “fixed”, there are many resources that can help her learn to navigate her fear and gain confidence. For example, Perform Happy and Beam Queen Boot Camp.
There is much more to gymnastics than just high levels and high scores. I would argue that girls who have to work through more fear actually get more out of gymnastics, at least on the life skill side of things.

Hopefully that all made sense. I am very passionate about the mental side of gymnastics so if you have questions please message me.

 

[Gymgirl84]

I was that kind of gymnast and my daughter is too. We are working on some strategies with Perform Happy mental training, and it has helped some but still have blocks on many skills and some anxiety (that's not only with gymnastics, overall she gets very anxious for different things). I wish I'd have had that mental training back in the day, going through the parent guide for my daughter I learnt so much about my own blocks.
I think you can just be patient and work on some mental strategies to help cope with those thoughts.