WAG Would it be weird...

[gymcoach1]

A gymnast I've coached since she was 3 in mommy and me (now turning 8), invited me to her birthday party and I'm not sure if its appropriate to go or not. It's a broadway show and dinner with a few friends and family members (clearly moneys not an object for them). I'm not sure if the mom already bought tickets or not but she invited me tonight and I said I'd let her know for sure tomorrow. I love the kid love the family, but not sure if this is my place. I also don't want it to be a thing that I go to every childs birthday, and have others feel excluded that I didn't go to theirs. But I also really would like to see the play LOL

 

[CoachMeg]

If you want to go, go. When you said birthday party I was thinking at their house with cake and presents, and yes, that might be a little weird. But a Broadway show with other adults? Not that weird to me, if you have a good relationship with the family. If not it could be awkward. Ive heard of coaches going to dance recitals, graduations, etc. If you've known the kid for awhile it's easy to grow a relationship with them and be a part of their life. I went to my coach's wedding. Not every gymnast on the team was invited, only about 4 optionals that she had coached for many, many years were invited and she also knew our parents really well so it wasn't weird.

 

[MomIdidit!]

My DD has attended two gym parties that two coaches attended. As a mom, I thought it was awesome the coaches attended. I believe they left right after we sang happy birthday. I agree with Coach Meg, if you want to go, you should go. Have fun and enjoy the show. The only thing I would suggest would be running it by your HC. As long as there is no policy against it, I don't see anything weird about it.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Sounds like you are a part of this child's (and family's) life and their invitation is a sign of respect. Enjoy the show.

 

[Faith]

I'd say no.

It's crossing the line from coach, to friend, and a personal relationship.

Like you said, what if other kids start inviting you to their parties? Are you going to go to all of them, or risk bring accused of favouritism?

Its a small family gathering, dinner and a show is quite intimate. I'd be happier about a big party with lots invited.

I wouldn't go.

 

[pt coach]

I think it is okay since it is a mix of adults and kids. I would go. Unless they are taking you to see Hamilton...if that is the case, you should decline and I will volunteer to go in your place

 

[Deleted member D3987]

never...

 

[Gymmommy71]

I'd say no.

It's crossing the line from coach, to friend, and a personal relationship.

Like you said, what if other kids start inviting you to their parties? Are you going to go to all of them, or risk bring accused of favouritism?

Its a small family gathering, dinner and a show is quite intimate. I'd be happier about a big party with lots invited.

I wouldn't go.

As a parent who has had children in many activities over the years, I can tell you that I have much more respect for the coaches that keep a professional distance when it comes to relationships w/ their athletes and parents. I know there are parents out there who are always trying to get close to coaches and teachers (some for altruistic reasons and some for self-serving reasons), but I think it's up to the coach to be professional and decline things like expensive gifts and exclusive event invites like this.

I agree that a larger party where many, many people from the gym were invited would be okay, but something this exclusive (and pricey) could really come off as inappropriate once the other kids and parents find out about it.

 

[LJL07]

I don't know what kind of relationship you have already established with the family. Sounds like it is a close one. Is this a team kid? A rec kid? But for future reference, it's a very slippery slope. I haven't seen anything good come from parents being too close to a coach.

 

[gymcoach1]

Thanks for all the replies! I decided not to go because it was Hamilton and I wasn't comfortable with something that expensive. I know the family pretty well out of the gym too but they understood when I declined.