Parents Gift for parents that carpool

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NY Dad

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About 4-5 months ago (shortly after my dd joined her gym) I found out that the only 2 girls that live in our general area were carpooling to the gym. The moms' were happy to include my dd into the carpool but they always have a plan for who will drive. As frequently as my wife offers to drive she;s told that they've got it covered. Additionally, just about every day they provide my dd dinner on the way home (so, for example when they stop for a slice of pizza or McDonalds she'll accept and not eat the meal that we've packed for her). They also aren't interested in being paid back for anything.

Any ideas for a nice holiday gift? Other thoughts?
 
Gift card to the pizza place they stop at, McDs, gas cards.................
 
Maybe gift cards for some of the places they buy dinner for the carpool. Ot movie gift cards so their family's can enjoy some time together.
 
Gift cards.

My daughter use to car pool too. And they did the same paid for stuff all the time. So I bought a bunch of gift cards and gave them to my daughter and would tell her that she needed to use her cards too.

They never accepted but I always made sure every few months she did a thank you card with Starbuck or Tim's cards.

Families can be so generous. It's nice to see that there are still good people out there.
 
Gift cards are always nice. But plan to take all the girls out one day for a fun filled day full of something, and cover all the activities giving the girls a chance to bond. As a bonus, it gives the parents a little time off too.
 
That saves a ton of time! I would insist on paying back at least their cost. I’d give generous gas cards and generous McDonalds, etc. cards. Even if they don’t say it, eventually they’ll get annoyed, because adding one more kid to your routine is more tiring no matter what anyone says to be polite.
 
I second (third, fourth, lol) the gift card idea. But I would also be doing the brilliant idea someone mentioned above about giving my own kid giftcards, so they don't spend the money on her on a regular basis.
Actually, what I really would do is tell my kid you are eating the dinner we packed you, end of story.....but that's just me. And if she wanted to eat at those places they stop at, then she can bring her own money to do so......
Off my tangent, apologies. Back to the gift card idea.....if they drink coffee, Starbucks is the Willy Wonka golden ticket of Coffee. Another idea that might be nice is to just plain out get them a VISA gift card....and then they can do whatever the heck they want with it.
 
I was that parent who drove just to be nice. I never wanted anything in return, but the mom that I drove for invited my girls out at the end of the year for a movie and ice cream and I thought it was a very nice gesture. She picked them up from a Saturday practice for it and saved me that day of driving too. Maybe you could arrange something fun for all of the kids?
 
I second (third, fourth, lol) the gift card idea. But I would also be doing the brilliant idea someone mentioned above about giving my own kid giftcards, so they don't spend the money on her on a regular basis.
Actually, what I really would do is tell my kid you are eating the dinner we packed you, end of story.....but that's just me. And if she wanted to eat at those places they stop at, then she can bring her own money to do so......
Off my tangent, apologies. Back to the gift card idea.....if they drink coffee, Starbucks is the Willy Wonka golden ticket of Coffee. Another idea that might be nice is to just plain out get them a VISA gift card....and then they can do whatever the heck they want with it.


I don't know. I understand what you're going for here, but if I stopped to get my kid and myself pizza, and our carpoolee wasn't allowed to accept and just ate her sandwich while we ate pizza.....I would feel badly and probably quit stopping for pizza, which would be more of a disruption than anything else the car pool kid could do. I'd rather just spring for an extra slide. It's a sticky situation. I'd probably give a large giftcard to the pizza place and know that, worse case scenario, at least my kids food was covered. ‍♀️
 
Actually, what I really would do is tell my kid you are eating the dinner we packed you, end of story.....but that's just me. And if she wanted to eat at those places they stop at, then she can bring her own money to do so......

I agree with you, and not because of the money thing. My kid isn’t allowed to eat junk food so often, and that’s not even getting into the food restrictions. I would have had an open discussion about how my kid doesn’t mind being there, and doesn’t mind them eating in front of her, but in no way would she be eating any dinner other than what I packed. I can see how some people would disagree, but I think diet is an important part of health.. and these stops don’t fit in if they’re a regular occurrence.
 
I agree with you, and not because of the money thing. My kid isn’t allowed to eat junk food so often, and that’s not even getting into the food restrictions.


I understand what you're going for here, but if I stopped to get my kid and myself pizza, and our carpoolee wasn't allowed to accept and just ate her sandwich while we ate pizza.....I would feel badly and probably quit stopping for pizza, which would be more of a disruption than anything else the car pool kid could do. I'd rather just spring for an extra slide. It's a sticky situation.

It is indeed a sticky situation. I don't like it when other people give my kid junk food, especially since she already gets more than enough junk in the school cafeteria and at her after-school program (if I pack her lunch she just doesn't eat anything, so my hands are kind of tied on school lunch, and where we live there is no such thing as an after-school program for middle schoolers that doesn't feed them Doritos). I would also be uncomfortable with the financial aspect unless I were in the rotation to drive and provide dinner. On the other hand, I see why you wouldn't want to disrupt the other families' convenient dinner plans. Boy, am I glad our carpool is BYO snack, even though this does lead to yogurt stains on my upholstery.
 
Sorry op for making the tangent, but i know others who have been in this sticky eating situation, and the kids either are supposed to eat what is packed or wait to eat at home as a fam. And yes, nutrition also plays a part here.
Anyway, go get those gift cards!;)
 
I'm thankful my carpools haven't normally included stops. Friday nights/Saturdays are different and sometimes one of us will go get the girls a treat but during the week, it's nose to the grind. Get the girls home so they can finish homework, shower and bed. Any extra stops just delays getting into bed at a decent time. But, if the OP is ok with what is occurring, I don't see any issues. I would definitely do something like a gas card and a gift card to the places they tend to frequent with your DD. In my opinion, I don't mind helping someone out if I'm already that direction (and I don't know the circumstances for this carpool), but I can tell you on those cold winter nights, when I'm dragging my son (he's too young to stay home alone) out to pick up girls from gym, my mind would probably start wondering if the person not doing ANY driving ever is sitting all nice and cozy at home, in their fuzzy pjs by the fireplace. Or the times I'm squeezing in running 500 errands, all planned around driving back and forth to gym, no matter the situation people are in, it is a sacrifice at times even if you don't have a job, single parent/both parents, one kid or five. The fact that they keep saying the family doesn't need to drive, I would still keep offering (just in case they have a change of heart/plans) and would for sure buy some generous gift cards. I know my vehicle racks up a lot of miles/eats a lot of gas driving back and forth to gym. When carpools work out, I see how much it helps cut my cost and wear and tear on my car over a few weeks.
 

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