Parents Bewildered newbie

[EGPtriumph]

My daughter began taking rec classes a few months before turning 7. She was steadily moved up through classes and in November she was moved to a pre team class and we were told that if she was in the class she was required to try out for team (coach approached me about putting her in that class, I never once approached any of her coaches about moving her up). She loved the class and worked hard every session. The gym took a 2 week break in December and when we returned that coach had quit (for another job) and a new high school coach took her place. Long story short, tryouts were held and she did not make team and I am having a very hard time understanding why she didn't. I've seen some of the other level 2 and 3 girls practicing and it seems as if her skill level and form is comparable. Furthermore, my understanding is that levels 1-3 are still supposed to be "developmental" levels and are not required. I'm all for building a good solid foundation, and I feel like my daughter could certainly have her form and skills developed but that won't happen if we continue with rec classes. I also can't understand this "gymnastics" feeling of being scared to even approach coaches or get any feedback about a sport that we are paying so much money for. I even overheard a level 6 team mom saying how she never gets any communication from coaches. I'm not talking about being pushy or overbearing just simple feedback from time to time. Needless to say we are exploring other options in hopes of finding a gym where we feel like more than a number. Am I crazy about that?

 

[MILgymFAM]

You aren't crazy and you aren't alone, but you are getting a glimpse behind the curtain. This seems to be how most gyms run- often there is very little communication and most of the time a parent has no clue why things proceed as they do.

As for your DD, is she allowed to stay in the pre team class and try again in the future? As a rec gymnast she is as free as she will ever be to try other gyms on for size. If you already know you're interested in team there isn't a reason not to pursue an evaluation elsewhere.

 

[SPX]

I can't speak to why she didn't make team but as for looking around, do. You are not crazy. It seems each gym and each coach have their own way of handling communication with parents. Some just don't. I find that does not work for our family. There are times I need to let the coaches know about something and I need to trust they will tell me about things from practice that may affect my child. Our gym mandates at least one parent coach meeting per year. This is usually unnecessary as we communicate via email as needed throughout the year.
Talking before or after practice is often difficult because the coaches only get a few minutes between groups.

 

[notthatmom]

If you are looking for another gym and you're comfortable sharing the area you live in, there are many parents and coaches on here who are GREAT resources for finding a gym so you don't do it blindly. We are here to help!

 

[EGPtriumph]

You aren't crazy and you aren't alone, but you are getting a glimpse behind the curtain. This seems to be how most gyms run- often there is very little communication and most of the time a parent has no clue why things proceed as they do.

As for your DD, is she allowed to stay in the pre team class and try again in the future? As a rec gymnast she is as free as she will ever be to try other gyms on for size. If you already know you're interested in team there isn't a reason not to pursue an evaluation elsewhere.

Thank you so much for your reply! I see this as a marathon and not a sprint and just feel like this sport focuses entirely on the "younger" girls. My daughter just turned 8 this week and it just seems cruel to rule her out before she truly gets started. The preteam coach who transferred her to that group was amazing so I trust that she saw some potential. We have a meeting with another gym on Saturday. This sport is grueling enough to weed kids out all on its own, that I don't see the need to do it at age 7-8. If kids have the tenacity to spend hours at the gym then I say go for it. What's that stat for how many gymnasts get to the Olympics? Oh yeab that's right. I give credit to every single girl out there who is willing to put in the time and effort.

 

[EGPtriumph]

I can't speak to why she didn't make team but as for looking around, do. You are not crazy. It seems each gym and each coach have their own way of handling communication with parents. Some just don't. I find that does not work for our family. There are times I need to let the coaches know about something and I need to trust they will tell me about things from practice that may affect my child. Our gym mandates at least one parent coach meeting per year. This is usually unnecessary as we communicate via email as needed throughout the year.
Talking before or after practice is often difficult because the coaches only get a few minutes between groups.

Thanks! That makes perfect sense. Communication is key!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Thank you so much for your reply! I see this as a marathon and not a sprint and just feel like this sport focuses entirely on the "younger" girls. My daughter just turned 8 this week and it just seems cruel to rule her out before she truly gets started. The preteam coach who transferred her to that group was amazing so I trust that she saw some potential. We have a meeting with another gym on Saturday. This sport is grueling enough to weed kids out all on its own, that I don't see the need to do it at age 7-8. If kids have the tenacity to spend hours at the gym then I say go for it. What's that stat for how many gymnasts get to the Olympics? Oh yeab that's right. I give credit to every single girl out there who is willing to put in the time and effort.

Don't ever give in because a gym sets an arbitrary age limit. My ODD started artistic rec at 12.5. She went on to compete. She started T&T and rhythmic at 15 and competed those too. I say if they're chasing it hard enough they'll catch it eventually. Good luck at the other gym!

 

[EGPtriumph]

If you are looking for another gym and you're comfortable sharing the area you live in, there are many parents and coaches on here who are GREAT resources for finding a gym so you don't do it blindly. We are here to help!

It's funny, because as much as I feel like a number at our current gym, I feel that pressure of keeping things quiet. Which again seems crazy to me! I'm hoping the new gym is a welcome change. They are a brand new gym just opening up (head coach has a well established reputation). We have toured the facility and met coaches and they have already communicated more with us than our current gym.

 

[SMH]

I'd definitely look around at other gyms. We have several girls on our level 3 team that were told they were too old for the JO program at another local gym and were steered towards Xcel. ( 2 of these girls turned 9 during this season, one 11). They have done amazing as part of our level 3 team, and one has placed 1st overall at every meet this season. There is a gym out there for everyone, you just have to find the right fit!

 

[EGPtriumph]

Don't ever give in because a gym sets an arbitrary age limit. My ODD started artistic rec at 12.5. She went on to compete. She started T&T and rhythmic at 15 and competed those too. I say if they're chasing it hard enough they'll catch it eventually. Good luck at the other gym!

Congrats to your daughter! Thanks for the advice and I'll try to update as we proceed!

 

[EGPtriumph]

I'd definitely look around at other gyms. We have several girls on our level 3 team that were told they were too old for the JO program at another local gym and were steered towards Xcel. ( 2 of these girls turned 9 during this season, one 11). They have done amazing as part of our level 3 team, and one has placed 1st overall at every meet this season. There is a gym out there for everyone, you just have to find the right fit!

Love this! That's so great for those girls. Somewhere along the way, it seems all perspective is lost with too many people hoping for the next Olympic gymnast which is such a small, small, possibility. It's funny because I even know gyms that only do Xcel (no compulsories at all) and then test girls into level 6 optionals, so again, it's all so mind boggling at how different it is at different gyms.

 

[Gymnast C's mom]

You are definitely not alone. My dd was in rec class at a highly competitive gym and it was clear she wasn't what they were looking for for team. She is 6 (about to be 7 next week), on the taller side, and very strong. She is also not very flexible. So we looked around and found another gym that saw her potential and put her on pre team right away. It has been just over 2 months and the difference in her flexibility and technique is amazing. She was given a chance that the original gym would never have given her and now will likely be training level 3 this summer. Definitely look around, there is a gym out there that will welcome her and see her potential.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I think it could serve you well to speak with the gym owner and get some clarity regarding your daughter's status especially given the fact that it is a new coach (I presume a high school student) has made the current determination. I had a somewhat similar situation when my daughter was in rec class and her coach didn't think my daughter was worthy of moving up yet another substitute coach insisted she be moved up, which ultimately led to a team invite very soon after. It would be a pity to walk away from a gym simply because a young coach misjudged your child.

 

[EGPtriumph]

You are definitely not alone. My dd was in rec class at a highly competitive gym and it was clear she wasn't what they were looking for for team. She is 6 (about to be 7 next week), on the taller side, and very strong. She is also not very flexible. So we looked around and found another gym that saw her potential and put her on pre team right away. It has been just over 2 months and the difference in her flexibility and technique is amazing. She was given a chance that the original gym would never have given her and now will likely be training level 3 this summer. Definitely look around, there is a gym out there that will welcome her and see her potential.

Thank you so much for sharing this and congratulations to your daughter! I'm really hoping we have a similar outcome with our search. That's awesome that she's had such an improvement in flexibility and technique in such a short time. I hope she has a wonderful season!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I have decided that all gyms have a bit of "crazy", you have to find the crazy that works for you............

And communication is a two way street. Ask them what happened with the tryout.............

My coach does best with email, so that is how I communicate. If we need a face to face, I give the coaches plenty of time and make sure it is at their convenience.

But really I am paying them money, if I have questions I ask, politely, I am patient but I ask.