I know it seems pretty sad that I would need to post this here (and I know it is not gym related) But I really need to just get this out, I have had a horrible last few days. You guys have been great since I joined this forum so why not.So, Sunday I woke up thinking it would be a typical Sunday.....needless to say I was blindsided by a bus. My husband out of nowhere at all informed me he wanted "out" as he said, or a divorce. He said he would be "fair" to me andd give me until February to move out. (When we recieve our income tax return) At that time I would have to take my share of the money and go (I currently do not work, I have been a stay at home mom since my youngest who is now 4 was born...obviously to be home with him) The worst of it.....he informed me...I would be doing so without my three children.....that he would fight for full costudy.
This was the worst of all....as my three kids are my entire universe....these kids mean absolutely everything to me, and to even think of not having them for a second makes me sick to my stomach.
My inlaws own the house we live in and live upstairs. They immediately got involved...our mini van is in their name, they got it for us, and payed for it, we are a younger couple, as a way of helping out. Well I was informed that I would no longer be allowed to use the family van, and could only be in if my husband was driving. If for some reason I tried to anyway, they would call the police, report it stolen and have me arrested.....can you believe this....coming from people I cared for as a second set of my own parents.....we just recently moved to this city....I am about 25 minutes from all of my own family and this city is smaller and more out in a country setting, so there is no public transportation. So I am literally trapped.
On top of it all....I find out today from a good friend of my husband that when we were seperated before (he up an left on a whim once before 4 years ago....and I was obviously foolish enough to take him back) he had been dating this girl he worked with, it never went too far cause she was suppose to be moving away. Well then it all clicked for me....a few days before all of this...he got an email from this girl out of the blue and they started emailing back and forth and he was very surprised she hadn't moved away....I never thought anything of it til now....Im not the type to get suspicious or jealous.....but now I wonder. My husband works nights....he left for work today with a change of clothes, his dress shoes, and his nice leather coat...so he is obviously palnning to go out after work. With who I wonder?
As far as Shawnee and her gymnastics....He works most of the week, so I wouldn't be able to get her to some of her practices....since I can't use our vehicle...the gym has been amazing....I sat down with the head coach and explained it to her....and since they aren't competing until later in the spring and she feels Shawnee will pick up very quickly, they won't take her off the team and will be okay with what practices I can get her to, which is wonderful of them to do, I know we found an excellent program. They said they don't want to loose her and will work around it. They even gave her a credit toward the classes she will miss and I already paid for.
It's been rough on the kids, my little one doesn't quite understand what is going on, my oldest seems to be doing okay, but you can see he is upset, he told me tonight at dinner he couldn't wait to get back to school the next day, cause "It doesn't really feel like home here anymore Mom" Oh that was heart breaking, I hate that this is happening to them. Shawnee has been having trouble sleeping, she is afraid she will wake up and I wont be here....
It's been a terrible 3 days, I haven't slept and it is taking all I have not to break down, and stay strong infront of the kids, and I am so afraid of the thought of loosing them.......thanks for letting me post on here, it's hard keeping all of this in, and not having anyone to talk with. I hope no one thinks any less of me....
