Parents Meet anxiety - me, not her!

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Okay, please don't think I'm crazy, but I seriously can't even enjoy DD's meets because I'm so nervous. I feel sick and my hands shake and my heart pounds so fast I feel like I might have a heart attack. This can't be normal. I try to talk myself out of being nervous because there isn't any real reason to be nervous. It's not that important how she performs. She's 6 and it's level 4. She doesn't get upset when she messes up, so it's not about being nervous that she'll be upset. It's not even about how she performs really because I always find something to be proud of. When she falls I'm so proud of how she picks herself up and keeps going and then smiles. I don't have any lofty expectations for her. I want her to do her best of course, like every other parent, but I'm proud of her no matter what. So what is it? Please tell me someone else has this much anxiety about meets?

I almost think it's really just that I'm feeling the way I would feel if I were the one competing. I used to have a career in performance and I had terrible performance anxiety, hence the term "used to". I struggled with it forever and finally decided my love for what I was doing was not stronger than the horrible anxiety. I tried medication (beta blockers) and while they helped a lot, it was still pretty unbearable to feel that kind of anxiety and dread about performing. So I think I'm having anxiety as if I'm the one competing. Luckily DD has no anxiety and I do not let her see how nervous I am.

I'd just feel better to know that there is someone else out there as crazy as me.
I am sure you will always be somewhat nervous for her. I think that is natural. Most of us mom's and dad's get that way. Just try to remember what it is your daughter is part of. How fun it is for her and how it is gymnastics. Try to seperate yourself from her as much as you can. You may need to do something to busy yourself at a meet: take pictures, keep score, talk to other parents. The more you build it up the worse the nerves get. Try to live in the moment and enjoy your daughter. I know it is easier said than done. I also get a bit nervous for my daughter, but I have found that videoing and taking pictures seems to help. We will always feel for our children, but we need to try to keep it in perspective. :) Good luck!!!
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I know how you feel. I made a post almost like this right before Kadee's first L2 meet. I know some of the other parents probably thought I was nuts. Its only L2 after My fear was I was going to mess something up for her. I wouldnt do her hair right..or it would fall out of how i had it. I would forget something she needed. (my main concern was her dang USAG card..where should i stick case she needed it). I wouldnt get her there on time..the list went on and on. Silly things really. And Kadee is like your DD. She really couldnt care less how she stacks up against the others. (dont get me wrong..just like any child she loves the ribbons, medals, and trophies). It doesnt phase her one little bit if she messes up. She doesnt dwell on it. Her first meet, she had to do her backwards roll twice to get it over. She got stuck upside down in her hip circle. She mounted the beam facing the wrong She was just excited that she got ribbons..and that everyone clapped for her. I just hope she always keeps that easy go lucky way of her in this sport. I dont get too nervous anymore about those nit picky things with me..but now i have other fears...still self based. Missing getting an event recorded. Not being able to see her when she is preforming. Not seeing what her score was so i can write it down in her program book. Still silly things..just different than before. This time Im scared to death again, that IM not going to get her to the meet on time. (hubby normaly does the driving but its just Kadee and I going this time). I drive myself crazy. And deep down I know its irrational what Im thinking..but the more I try to tell myself that the more reasons my brain comes up with why I should be I am bi-polar..and a thats my excuse and im sticking to it..bahaha. Try to just relax and not focus on what can happen. Things are goign to play out how they play out, whether you stress or not. My brain knows this..just wish it could convence my heart sometimes. I dont think your crazy at all. Just a mom..maybe thats the same thing..i think they run hand and hand
I feel just the same!! It is nuts but I can't help it. You are not alone LOL. I just try and hide it the best i can.
Ditto here! Just know you are not alone. I can barely sleep the night before a meet.
I know what you mean!!! My anxiety and nervousness comes more from the "fear of the unknown". I often get nervous that the alarm clock won't go off and we will be late, or I will forget to pack her grips... I used to have nightmares the night before her big cheer competitions (back in the day) that I forgot to curl her hair and she was the only one without her hair done LOL--crazy stuff!!

What helps me is taking pictures and getting video so that I can have stuff for the meet montage afterwards!! I don't even worry about how she places because you can't really control that. But you can control the cute photos you take, and things like that.

We all get nervous and worried so don't be stressed about it.
Thanks everyone! It's so good to know I'm not alone. Though I have to say I have no anxiety about any of the things like being late or forgetting anything or not seeing her. I think my anxiety would be easier to deal with if I could pinpoint why I'm so anxious. There are some parents who are anxious about how their child is doing in comparison to everyone else and they get anxious about scores and placements. My anxiety is not related to any of those things. I'm super anxious during the meet, but during awards I'm as happy as can be. That's when a lot of other parents start stressing I want her to do her best, but I don't really care. I've been around gymnastics long enough to know that placements and meets don't matter at this age. It's really about her going out there and learning how to compete and having a place to showcase all of her hardwork. I also know and was trying to tell a another mom this, that it doesn't matter how they perform or score as long as they are progressing in the gym. I wasn't the least bit upset that DD fell on her beam dismount because I know it was a step in the right direction. She was focusing on really holding it and making it perfect and that caused her to fall. She wouldn't have fallen if she had done it quick and sloppy. The same thing with her handstand, the focus for this meet was to be completely vertical and hold it and if that caused a fall then the coaches didn't care. I've been extremely happy with every meet she's had, even if she makes mistakes because that's part of the process. The quality of her gymnastics has just improved so much lately and that's all I care about. Because I understand all of that and truly believe all of that, I can't figure out why I can't just chill!

I guess more than anything I just want to enjoy watching her. I don't really enjoy the meets until she's done with her last routine and I can finally breath. At one point during this last meet I really thought I was going to puke. Sitting and talking with other parents really stressed me out more. I'll save that for another thread!
I totally sympathize. I would be sick at my stomach before the meet began. As soon as warm-ups started, I would be fine. It wasn't a pleasant feeling at all.
I just have to say i think this is the first season that my mom has watched me compete beam!!! LOL. she gets so nervous and even last night at my meet she couldnt watch. It might just be something you are always going to have to deal with.
Yep sounds about right!!! I don't get AS nervous as I used to. I have realized that me being anxious does not help my DD do any better so I just focus on not screwing up the photos or videos. IDK.....they still stink most of the time anyway (the pictures and videos that is!!! LOL !!! )
I'm right there with you. In fact, I think I've posted a similar thread myself in the past. I started video taping this year, and that has helped somewhat (a filter in between me and what's going on, I guess), but last night at sectionals during the first two events (bars and beam) my heart was pounding SO hard. Once they were over and Kathy had done pretty well (those two events seemed to have the highest liklihood of a total wipe-out ruining her chance to qualify for states), I managed to calm down a bit for floor and vault. But this is Kathy's 4th year competing and it's still VERY stressful.
Yes video taping has helped my mom also. She says it gives her something to do to keep her occupied and less nervous. At my last meet she forgot the video camera and said she was very nervous for me. Just remember that your DD is going to try her best and no matter the outcome she tried her best. Just make sure she doesnt pick up on your nervousness because it can make your DD more stressful.
This is the very reason why I became the team photographer! I take great photos (if I say so myself) and give them to the parents and now even the coaches want them. It takes a lot of my attention to make sure I get that great shot. It really helps me not to focus on my daughter's performance since I have my own "job" to do at the meets.
We have a wonderful mom who cant even watch. She gets so nervous for her dd. I just adore her. I get a little queasy too. Its so funny that we get all weirded out about our dd's performance. :p
I get a little nervous too (not sick or shaky, but definitely tense). I know DD is unpredictable - she may fall or she may do brilliantly, and part of my nervousness is just not knowing how the day will go. We have only been to 2 Level 3 meets and 1 Level 4 meet so far, so it is still very new for us. I think if she were to compete more often I would get used to it and know what to expect. But moving to a new level after only 2 meets, there I was back to square one at her third meet in terms of not knowing what to expect! I can be a bit of a control freak - not to others, but in terms of controlling my own little world.
This is the very reason why I became the team photographer! I take great photos (if I say so myself) and give them to the parents and now even the coaches want them. It takes a lot of my attention to make sure I get that great shot. It really helps me not to focus on my daughter's performance since I have my own "job" to do at the meets.

Ooh... if our DD's DO go to the same States session, I'll have to point out Kathy so maybe you can get a few shots of her too. Of course, I'd pay you...
Oh gosh - I can so relate. In my DD's first yeat, I would take a Xanax before every meet. In the second year, I was much more relaxed and this year it was much easier. I hope that as time goes on, it continues to get little easier. I think I will always be nervous for her before her performance, but I would not like to go back to that first year becuase it was so intense I didn't even enjoy the meets.
Oh this is just getting worse for me as the levels advance. I was not nearly as nervous when my dd was a L4. Now that she's L7, there are so many more chances to fall and even to hurt herself that I am far more nervous. I know some L9 moms who have a hard time even watching at all, especially beam and bars. I pace at meets, am unable to eat prior to them, and basically am sick to my stomach until they are over. I can hardly watch, let alone film anything!
I don't know if this will help, but I've stopped watching warm ups and it makes me a lot more relaxed. It's funny because sometimes other parents will say something like "that was great how your ds hit floor after falling every time in warmups," and I respond "oh did he fall in warmups, I didn't realize that."
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