Parents Private lessons

[gymmomtotwo]

I'm sure this has come up before, but I am fairly new. Someone please assure me that my DD is not missing out because I am not paying for her to have private lessons. She is 5, on preteam and does two 3 hour practices a week with great coaches. There are 6 kids in her group right now, though there can be as many as 8. One of the kids (that I know of) is getting private lesson. The only reason I know this is because her mother made a point of telling me how much they want her kid on the team and they were willing to work around the fact that the girl can only come one day a week. Yada yada. And they suggested private lessons for her, and she can come to the next preteam level one day a week. Yada yada. I don't solicit this stuff. The kid is quite good. Anyhoo, don't know if anyone else is set up for privates, but moveups are coming soon, and DD will likely move to 9 hours a week for the summer, though there are no guarantees. It would be a disappointment to her to remain at the level she is at, though most of them are 6. They have all been together since last summer. Assure me that I am not hurting her chances by just taking her to regular practice. She has great attendance. I'm trying to figure when the coach would even have time for privates unless you took the kid out of school during the day. The coaches are very busy after school and all day Sat with team practices and rec classes. Help my insecurity. Assure me. She will be fine without privates, right??

 

[GymBee97]

we did many privates over the years for work on specific skills for example on a backhandspring my DD use to slightly ben her right arm so she had a few privates to work on making that arm straight. for things like that minor fixes I would say a private can help and only needed from time to time.

WE have done a private however in 5 or 6 years because I came to the realizations that if the gym is doing its job daughter really shouldn't need a private.

So Save your money if its ment for her to move up she wil with regular classes and if its not then she just isn't ready yet she will adjust if friends move up and she doesn't.

 

[Quadqueen]

My DD is L5 and has never had a private (except once to get an optional floor routine). Your DD will do fine without privates. She is 5, and will be doing 9 hours a week? She should be getting more than enough of what she needs.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

My oldest competed for 7 years, my little one is in her 6th season. Together they have had 8-10 privates total in all these years, with 2 of those being this week because Little is coming off an injury and has states next week. Each time it was for a specific bar skill/issue. My feeling is If they can't get "regular" stuff in 15-20 hours per week, something is very wrong!

 

[Sarah'sMom]

Gymmomtotwo, you're daughter is probably just fine without the privates. There are all sorts of reasons that some girls have privates, but they are not necessary for everyone. In fact, there are some people here that have strong feelings that no one should really need a private if the classes are good enough.

It sounds like in the other girl's case that because of scheduling problems, she can't come for the hours they want her to at the times they have scheduled, and that the privates are to make up for that missed time. If that works for that family, that's great, but don't allow it to make you feel like you are doing something wrong. You're not going to be holding your daughter back because she does not have weekly privates.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Coming from a different perspective here. We rarely do privates - in fact have only had 1 individual private in her "career" and maybe 3 shared I think. Many of the girls on dd's team get privates weekly. They have all drastically improved this year. I think it is great and am so happy for them! My dd doesn't compete directly against these girls because of age differences, so I am not lying here, I am very happy for them. BUT it is hard to watch them progress so quickly and watch my dd either continue to struggle or not improve. I am trying not to let it bother me and look at the bigger picture. We can't afford privates very often so we won't be changing the way we handle them, but I do see kids progress quicker when parents pay for weekly privates.

 

[pattymello]

privates don't even happen at my gym. If the coach does their job properly your daughter should be progressing at a good pace. There coulod be times when something is holding them back outside of the coaches control or ability to fix, but if that is the case i don't see a few one on one lessons helping.

 

[lhmom]

IMO, it sounds like the other girl's parents are trying to help her keep up with your daughter's group. With your daughter's group getting 6 hours a week for pre-team, that sounds like more than enough time for her. When DD was on pre-team, she only went 3 hours a week. If I were you, I wouldn't stress about it too much. She's there enough considering her age. Good luck to her!

 

[thefellowsmom]

I agree that privates can be helpful for specific issues or making up some ground after and injury, but you should not feel like your daughter needs regular privates in pre-team or even later. She is getting great hours with a great ratio and should be totally fine. A good program will teach it's gymnasts during practice hours.

There are a lot of privates going on this year at my gym and it drives me a little batty. So many people are doing regular privates that it is almost impossible to get one when you really need it. It also doesn't seem to be making too much of a difference. It is also almost entirely level 4 kids so that should tell ya something (parents tend to be craziest at level 4). My gut tells me it is a good way for young coaches to make some extra money as well and who can blame them.

The Fellows will have her second private ever this weekend and it is strictly to get her some extended one on one time with a specialty coach for a particular issue she is having. While we are there she will get a little extra help with the things she is uptraining as well, but that was not the purpose of it. Because she is really small she is having a hard time getting a good rebound off the vault board or spring floor. We are hoping that this coach will be able to help her make that mind body connection. This is something it would be hard to address at length during regular practice, hence the private.

Some parents are just crazy about this stuff. Don't sweat it and you are not alone. Like all of us have been told a gazillion times, this is marathon not a race. Deep breaths!

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

I know exactly how you feel. I've never asked for a private lesson for fear of sounding pushy... only to find out that there were girls who did them regularly and all the time - even those who were high performers and didn't really struggle at all. But it's never held DD back, mostly because she really takes advantage of all her time at the gym.

This is what I have learned to do: if DD expresses to me interest in getting a skill, or going to gym more often, I say "Good Idea! Tell your coach that!" And lo and behold, they have always accommodated, without asking me to pay. I don't believe most coaches will turn a very enthusiastic gymnast away. She knows that if she wants a spot, or more attention, she just need ask. They are welcome to say no, but she needs to ask herself.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Does your daughter appear to be struggling with any certain skill that she needs to move to the next level? Is she keeping up with her group? If she's doing fine and looks as good as the rest, I wouldn't worry about it! If you are wondering how she's doing--drop them an email or a note asking about her progress and if she needs to work on anything specific.

FWIW, my 14 yr old has never done a private, moves up a level pretty much every year and is a level 9--so not doing privates has never held her back.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Thanks to all your replies. If a coach approached me and said that she really would benefit from a private for a certain thing, I would certainly do it. Butt the earliest she even will compete is in two years (starting at level 5). So age 7 is the earliest she would compete. She seems to be progressing with the system they have, always seems to be in the middle of the pack on most things. Certainly not the best, but doesn't seem to be in danger of falling behind so far. Flexiblility is an issue, but the coaches are focused and working on it in class (and she's a tough little gal allowing them to push on her without complaining). Move ups occur in May, so I guess we will find out then if she is on to the next level or not. It never even occurred to me to do a private lesson. Honestly I've never seen one going on in the gym, and I am in and out alot as I have an older daughter on team with a totally different schedule. I didn't even know the gym offered them at all. They gym is always packed with team practices and rec classes. The coaches are always busy. She is taking a long time to get her back walkover (she could do it for awhile, but now can't), but she doesn't have to have it yet. Anyway, stay the course. We have college funds to fill as well!

 

[wallinbl]

I guess I have a different perspective on private lessons. DD does them once a week because she loves them. She gets to work on optional level skills and she loves being in the gym. She begs to do them multiple days per week, but we restrict her to just one. I don't schedule them or ask for them - she's allowed one per week and she's responsible for arranging it if she wants it.

It's by far her favorite day of the week in the gym.

 

[Erbmom]

I guess I have a different perspective on private lessons. DD does them once a week because she loves them. She gets to work on optional level skills and she loves being in the gym. She begs to do them multiple days per week, but we restrict her to just one. I don't schedule them or ask for them - she's allowed one per week and she's responsible for arranging it if she wants it.

It's by far her favorite day of the week in the gym.

Same here. I let DD do one 1/2 hr private a week, after a practice and she loves it. She missed a few due to illnesses and was annoyed that she couldn't make them up. I don't do it to get her ahead, or for any specific skills. She's just a bit needy with a lot of kids on her team and one coach. So it gives her a little one on one time to work on things that she wants to work on, for fun. She is in no danger of getting more advanced than her teammates, she is in the bottom half of her team score-wise and is not competitive at all. She just loves gymnastics, loves to get new skills and could probably do without the competing. Unfortunately, the rec classes wouldn't allow her to learn as much as she does being on team.
I think the OPs post sounds more like a PP said, that the kid can't go to preteam the same days the other kids, so it's to keep her caught up.

 

[skschlag]

D does them occassionally. Coach and I have noticed that D is really social in practice, so doesn't always get what he should be getting. Sometimes he jsut needs a 1:1 to hear what he should be doing. We are working on his focus and attention, but for now, this is the way we need to go sometimes.