Coaches Puberty and periods

[gymisforeveryone]

I coach a group of girls who are 12-13 yo. I recently made the girls fill out a questionnaire about their strengths and weaknesses, fears, goals etc because it's not always easy to get those teens talk to you. There was also free space to write about any worries, ask questions and tell me anything confidentially.

One girl wrote she doesn't want to come to practice when she has her periods. She wrote she's afraid that all the other girls get to know she has started already and they'll start to bully her... I don't know if any of the others have their periods yet but I'm pretty sure two or three may have or they'll start soon.

I felt a bit unsure how to deal with this situation and this subject. I definitely understand that she's very uncertain about her changing body and feels bad because she's the first one to show signs of puberty especially when some of the 12 year old girls still look like children and she certainly doesn't. She's also shy and quiet and her mom has told me she thinks the other kids judge her doings at practice etc.

I would like to discuss with her about this but at practice it's almost impossible to get to talk privately. And this is a subject we don't want any other ears to hear because the situation is embarrassing for her already. I don't want her to miss an entire week of practice every fourth week but I want to tell her I understand how she feels and that it is OK to miss practice sometime if stomach is hurting very very bad. I would also want to make her understand that other girls would not bully her about it even if they somehow get to know she has her periods...

Should I have a puberty talk with the whole group? How would you deal with this? They don't even wear leos at practice so that's not a problem, but they wear long practice tights that can be seen through a little so I think she worries the other girls will notice she wears a sanitary towel during periods. I still think that the other girls wouldn't bully her about periods, but what do I know??

 

[Redford]

Ugh, I remeber that time, I suppose it hits you twice as hard as a gymnast where it is ALL about being judged for your lines and how you move in skin tight leotards. Growing breasts and curves most likely affects your center of gravity and therefor your gymnastics and I always saw Nadia hopping around before my eyes, aged 14 in her cute white leotard showing no signs of puberty AT ALL. Not to mention of course that I had a lot of Nadias hopping around my gym. To make it short: I hated it.
I am convinced that some talking would do her good especially since she practically already expressed her need to tal via that questionaire. It's up to you how you get to do it, but it should indeed be privatly. Let her talk if she wants and maybe tell her a little about how you felt when you hit puberty, be open, the kid has probably hidden a lot of frustration. Perhaps even tell her about your guess that she might not be the only one. Tell her growing up is nothing to be ashamed of, it's a sign of maturity. If the other girls start talking it only shows how absolutly inmature they are.
Should you have a group talk? I don't know. It depends both on your abilty to have talks and on how your group copes with it. There are groups who will try to appear as mature as they can on the topic and there are those who only giggle and nodd.
You should however in any case have that talk if you notice any kind of bullying. A very serious one.

Good luck for you and your growing gymmie!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

menstrual cycles are a normal bodily function. and don't you find the irony/oxymoron of the word "men" in the beginning?

lastly, Olympic and under medals have been won by women during this cycle.

and bullying? throw them out until they have theirs.

 

[gymjunkie]

With my group of team girls (aged 9-14), we talk (and joke) openly about everything from body odor to boobs and bras and periods so that nobody ever feels these are private/taboo subjects. Sometimes it's best to make light of these topics to show how normal they are rather than to talk privately and perpetuate the idea that they are embarrassing topics.