Parents Question About Private Lessons

[cbifoja]

I agree with IrenaKa about visiting another gym. Before my DD was invited to team, we decided to go try out other gyms just because I knew nothing about the competitive side of the sport and thought it would be a good idea to see what other gyms were like.

In the end, we stayed at our gym because it was the best fit for us but it was very helpful to see other styles of coaching and other facilities. It was also useful to get feedback from coaches not as familiar with my child as the coaches at her home gym. It actually gave me more confidence in the gym and the coaches and made me think that this competition thing might be something she would enjoy.

 

[Malenkaya]

I wanted to thank everyone again for their input. This morning I got a call from one of the coaches. She said she had a slip that said I was requesting private lessons for DD. So I discussed the situation with her. Told her of DD's interest in becoming a team gymnast and that my husband and I are supportive of it and what do we need to do to prepare her to move in that direction. The coach that called isn't actually one of DD's coaches, but she said she would talk to her coach to see where she thinks DD's skills are so they can come up with a plan. The girl I spoke to said instead of 2 rec classes, maybe one rec class and a weekly private might be a good idea. So nothing has been decided yet but they are aware of the interest and what can be done to get her onto that path.

 

[sce]

I'm glad you talked to someone. I hope they work out a plan that is best for her.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I wanted to thank everyone again for their input. This morning I got a call from one of the coaches. She said she had a slip that said I was requesting private lessons for DD. So I discussed the situation with her. Told her of DD's interest in becoming a team gymnast and that my husband and I are supportive of it and what do we need to do to prepare her to move in that direction. The coach that called isn't actually one of DD's coaches, but she said she would talk to her coach to see where she thinks DD's skills are so they can come up with a plan. The girl I spoke to said instead of 2 rec classes, maybe one rec class and a weekly private might be a good idea. So nothing has been decided yet but they are aware of the interest and what can be done to get her onto that path.

Hmm, I would suggest that at her age and skill level, a weekly private is a cash cow for the gym. If she has any natural talent at gym she should be able to accomplish all she needs to at this age with just her group sessions. I would save the money for when she needs extra help later on down the line.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree with Iwannabemargo. That seems odd that the gym would be encouraging weekly privates at her age and skill level.

 

[Malenkaya]

I can't say for sure the gym is encouraging it. Nothing has been decided yet. The coach I spoke to said maybe one class and one private would be good for her, but she is speaking with one of DD's current coaches before they give any more input. I'm not sure if privates would have even been suggested had I not started the inquiry. The important thing is that she is now on their radar for having an interest in being more than just a rec gymnast. I do know the director there was DD's very first coach in the preschool class (she wasn't the director then) and was very fond of DD, so that's a good sign.

Aside from the mystery of how it all works (which seems to be very common anyway) I have been happy with the gym. But they do have a lot of classes with a lot of kids her age and a very competitive team. I wanted to make sure she didn't just get left behind as one part of the masses.

 

[bogwoppit]

If the gym is encouraging privates, it is because they like the money they brings in.

A child with any talent at her age should do very well in two classes a week.

Privates are for tweaking routines or working a problem skill. More than that and I see red flags a-waving in the breeze. They are definitely not needed for getting into pre team. I cannot even believe I typed that last sentence.

 

[Malenkaya]

If the gym is encouraging privates, it is because they like the money they brings in.

A child with any talent at her age should do very well in two classes a week.

Privates are for tweaking routines or working a problem skill. More than that and I see red flags a-waving in the breeze. They are definitely not needed for getting into pre team. I cannot even believe I typed that last sentence.

You are aware that they didn't suggest private lessons, they are simply responding to my inquiry?

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I can't say for sure the gym is encouraging it. Nothing has been decided yet. The coach I spoke to said maybe one class and one private would be good for her, but she is speaking with one of DD's current coaches before they give any more input.

That right there is a red flag, they are looking to make money out of you. There is no need for privates at her age and level, the ONLY benefit is to the owners coffers. But hey is your cash, splash it as you want.

 

[Malenkaya]

That right there is a red flag, they are looking to make money out of you. There is no need for privates at her age and level, the ONLY benefit is to the owners coffers. But hey is your cash, splash it as you want.

A business is trying to make money? What is this world coming to?

I get it, I appreciate the input. I don't think the gym is a bad gym if I ask about private lessons and they make them available.

 

[bogwoppit]

Which is where we can agree to disagree. But many years in this sport has taught me one thing, there are many different kinds of gyms.

 

[Malenkaya]

Which is where we can agree to disagree. But many years in this sport has taught me one thing, there are many different kinds of gyms.

I think if they said "let's do privates all summer, then she can go to pre-team in the fall" that would be a huge red flag. They aren't promising anything. I don't even know if when they call back they will say private lessons are the right thing to do. All I know us that I have a kid who wants to live at the gym, a coach called me back because she had a note that said I was asking about private lessons, and she needed to talk to DD's coach to ask about skills, and "maybe" private lessons would be a benefit. I think the girl I spoke to handled it very well.

The gym has been around a long time, is very competitive and has multiple locations. The 3 closest gyms are all the same company. While I appreciate the concern of them just wanting my money, I'm still waiting to see how it all plays out before I make any decisions.

I started off feeling like I just really want to do the best for my kid and I walk away from this forum feeling like a crazy gym mom of a kid with no talent.

Thanks.

 

[bogwoppit]

Hey, nobody here ever said your dd has no talent. That simply did not happen at all here.

People here, with many years under there leos, are just trying to help. That is all.

Wanting the best for your dd does not make you crazy.

But listening to advice freely given can be worth a few moments of your time.

Do not close us down because you did not hear what you wanted to hear. That is forums for you.

I am concerned that a gym will give you privates instead of offering more classes, that is all.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Kids with special needs sometimes do much better one-on-one. The mom asked about privates, I see nothing wrong with the coach hearing the situation going on and saying "maybe, let me talk to your coach". Now the response she gets next will determine if they want what is best for the child or if they are just looking to make money. I see nothing wrong with how it has gone so far, but do understand how a normal developing child of that age would likely not need privates. Having kids with ADHD myself I think the privates could benefit your child.

 

[AV24]

DD will be 6 in a couple months. She didn't start gymnastics until 4 1/2. She did the preschool class for about a year and she has been in the kindergarten class for about 9 months now. The school she attends has a special format for kids who are heavily involved in extra curriculars and I didn't realize it until she started last fall, but a lot of the team girls attend there.

DD is obsessed with making the team. She has her class twice a week and takes a weekly ballet/tap at a nearby dance studio. (Ironically her dance teacher's daughter also attends the same school as DD, and she is on the gymnastics team as well.)

She was diagnosed with ADHD about a month ago. She started medication and we saw immediate improvement at school. What I didn't expect was to see as much improvement in the gym. She is much more focused and is learning and improving quickly.

I feel that because she's been in the gym for the last year and a half and she's just been cruising along, doing fine, but nothing special, so she will never be considered for the team track. At the end of last week I spoke to the person at the front desk, who is supposed to be passing on a message for me about the possibility of private lessons to the director. I didn't even know who that was until yesterday. Fortunately it's a coach who was one of DD's first coaches and I know she's very fond of her (meaning the coach is fond of DD and vice versa). I'm just wondering the best way to approach it when she calls. My thought was that if she could take private lessons this summer instead of her regular rec class it would maybe give DD a better idea of the training required to make the team, and it would give us all an opportunity to see if DD truly has the drive, desire and talent required to even reach a point to try out for the team.

What would you tell/ask the coach when she calls?

We were very recently in the same position. My DD is almost 7 and has ADHD as well. She was diagnosed about a year ago. Soon after we found the right meds, she began thriving in all areas, and she suddenly LOVED gymnastics. She was practicing anything she could do at home constantly. She had been on a break from gymnastics classes for the semester, so in June I signed her up for rec classes at a very competitive gym (sounds like yours). Little did I know that this gym only took kids for pre-team from their preschool classes, and she had just moved to the 'big kids' classes. She was begging for more hours, so I let her go twice a week. On the first day of her second class, that coach pulled me aside and recommended weekly private lessons. He said he was sure she could make team at some point (I had not asked about that), but he needed to work with her to improve her form. Long story short, I did let her take some private lessons, and she REALLY shined in those times. One-on-one is great for any kid, but it's especially beneficial for kids with ADHD, because it eliminates the wait time that happens in rec. I posted about our situation in this forum, and I got a lot of similar responses to yours. Most people seem to be against private lessons, but not everyone is. I think your concerns are valid. It is very easy for kids to get overlooked at large competitive gyms. And some gyms DO take kids exclusively from preschool but not older classes for pre-team. Giving her private lessons won't guarantee her a spot on team, but it will help to get her noticed. Do what you feel is best for YOUR child.

As a side note, even with some private lessons, I don't think my DD would have been chosen for the pre-team at that big gym. They just had too many talented kids to choose from, and my kid was pretty unfocused from 3-6 years old, so she never looked like a natural compared to all of the other little ones in her group. Fast forward to now, and I decided to have her evaluated at a different gym (still competitive, but not so prestigious). After one practice with their pre-team, she was invited to join them. I talked to her rec coach at the old gym last week to let her know about that situation, and she was so encouraging! She said to definitely try the pre-team at the new gym, because if it was going to happen where we were, it would have happened by now. All of that is to say that sometimes the really large and 'elite' gyms make our girls look like a dime a dozen, and sometimes it takes a different environment to help them shine.

The best advice I got from parents in this forum was to really investigate and make sure you know all of your options. The 'best' gym is not always the best fit for each child. When I started really paying attention, I noticed that the team coaches at the elite gym were all very serious and intense. New gym has a much more positive atmosphere, and the girls look happy to be there. I didn't know them by name because I'm not in the gymnastics world, but after much research I found out that they have a fantastic program. None of this guarantees that my DD will thrive there, but at least she was given a CHANCE. I think that not everyone gets that mentality, but all I wanted was for someone to give her an opportunity to show what she could do and not shut her down before she ever got started. Good luck to you and whatever you decide! I'll be rooting for your little girl.

 

[LJL07]

Just to echo what mellow yellow says above, don't be afraid to explore other options. We were at a gym for several years, and we were emotionally attached to the gym. My sister and other family members competed there.

My DD has ADHD as well. Since it was a smaller gym, they did spot her for team, but once on team, she really struggled. Privates certainly helped at that gym due to her focus issues. When the girls weren't doing great at the meets, many of them started taking weekly privates. Sure it helped, but if the coaching is effective at the practices, I don't think they should need all those privates.

I moved DD to a new gym, and I could tell fairly quickly that the coaching was much better suited for her attention issues and form problems. Lots of physical corrections and very little time spent standing around waiting in line. We are not doing private lessons, and DD is improving a lot! So bottom line, that first gym was not a good fit for her even though it may be fine for other kids. Don't be afraid to consider other places. Good luck!

 

[Malenkaya]

Hey, nobody here ever said your dd has no talent. That simply did not happen at all here.

If she has any natural talent at gym she should be able to accomplish all she needs to at this age with just her group sessions.

And since that hasn't happened it kind of implies (although I'll admit it's not directly said) that that isn't the case. Just my interpretation.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative, so I will just move on.

Kids with special needs sometimes do much better one-on-one. The mom asked about privates, I see nothing wrong with the coach hearing the situation going on and saying "maybe, let me talk to your coach". Now the response she gets next will determine if they want what is best for the child or if they are just looking to make money. I see nothing wrong with how it has gone so far, but do understand how a normal developing child of that age would likely not need privates. Having kids with ADHD myself I think the privates could benefit your child.

Thank you for this. The only reason I initially asked about privates was because of her school situation. After her diagnosis she was like a different kid overnight. And I guess I feel guilty she went this long undiagnosed so that makes me a bit defensive. But in school she has gotten good grades, but struggled. She has one one one tutoring time with her teacher a couple time a week and that has helped her keep up. Since her diagnosis she is still in tutoring but the teacher says she doesn't really need it now. But since we're this close to the end of the school year we aren't going to change things up now. Knowing very little about how the gymnastics world works, all I could do was apply what I knew about her school situation to the gym situation, wondering if we could get similar results there.

She takes both gymnastics and dance. Last summer she took swimming and I'm considering putting her back in swimming this summer. Once in a while I ask her, if she had to just pick one activity, what would it be, and she always says gymnastics. She's a girly girl, loves having her hair and makeup done, loves pretty clothes. Once on the way home from a dance dress rehearsal, in her costume, hair up, stage makeup and all, I ask her again. I'm still thinking there is a chance I'll get a different answer. This was the perfect moment for her to proclaim her love for dance. But it's ALWAYS gymnastics. And she told me she wants to go to the gym everyday. As previously mentioned, she goes to school with many girls from the team at her gym. And almost every day she comes home excited with a story about talking to one of the older girls at school (the school is k-12) who is on the gymnastics team.

I completely understand how under normal circumstances private lessons seem silly and a waste of money at this age. But I kind of feel like DD spent a year and a half at the gym, where they got to know her - the undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD kid that they all love - and all they see is a sweet, silly kid. Not someone with real gymnastics potential. At one point I even overheard the director tell another coach that DD is "the sweetest kid I have ever met." They do love her.....they just need to see her as a gymnast. ADHD is a game changer and I need to alter the way we play the game. (Although I'm still confused on whether or not I should actually tell the coaches about her diagnosis - will it help them work with her better or will it just be a mark against her because they think in the long run she won't do as well?)

We were very recently in the same position. My DD is almost 7 and has ADHD as well. She was diagnosed about a year ago. Soon after we found the right meds, she began thriving in all areas, and she suddenly LOVED gymnastics. She was practicing anything she could do at home constantly. She had been on a break from gymnastics classes for the semester, so in June I signed her up for rec classes at a very competitive gym (sounds like yours). Little did I know that this gym only took kids for pre-team from their preschool classes, and she had just moved to the 'big kids' classes. She was begging for more hours, so I let her go twice a week. On the first day of her second class, that coach pulled me aside and recommended weekly private lessons. He said he was sure she could make team at some point (I had not asked about that), but he needed to work with her to improve her form. Long story short, I did let her take some private lessons, and she REALLY shined in those times. One-on-one is great for any kid, but it's especially beneficial for kids with ADHD, because it eliminates the wait time that happens in rec. I posted about our situation in this forum, and I got a lot of similar responses to yours. Most people seem to be against private lessons, but not everyone is. I think your concerns are valid. It is very easy for kids to get overlooked at large competitive gyms. And some gyms DO take kids exclusively from preschool but not older classes for pre-team. Giving her private lessons won't guarantee her a spot on team, but it will help to get her noticed. Do what you feel is best for YOUR child.

As a side note, even with some private lessons, I don't think my DD would have been chosen for the pre-team at that big gym. They just had too many talented kids to choose from, and my kid was pretty unfocused from 3-6 years old, so she never looked like a natural compared to all of the other little ones in her group. Fast forward to now, and I decided to have her evaluated at a different gym (still competitive, but not so prestigious). After one practice with their pre-team, she was invited to join them. I talked to her rec coach at the old gym last week to let her know about that situation, and she was so encouraging! She said to definitely try the pre-team at the new gym, because if it was going to happen where we were, it would have happened by now. All of that is to say that sometimes the really large and 'elite' gyms make our girls look like a dime a dozen, and sometimes it takes a different environment to help them shine.

The best advice I got from parents in this forum was to really investigate and make sure you know all of your options. The 'best' gym is not always the best fit for each child. When I started really paying attention, I noticed that the team coaches at the elite gym were all very serious and intense. New gym has a much more positive atmosphere, and the girls look happy to be there. I didn't know them by name because I'm not in the gymnastics world, but after much research I found out that they have a fantastic program. None of this guarantees that my DD will thrive there, but at least she was given a CHANCE. I think that not everyone gets that mentality, but all I wanted was for someone to give her an opportunity to show what she could do and not shut her down before she ever got started. Good luck to you and whatever you decide! I'll be rooting for your little girl.

I'm so glad you found a great place for your DD. This story definitely looks familiar to me! And I haven't ruled out the possibility of another gym, but I do feel we need to run the route with this one first. I know their lower level team girls range in age, so not every team kid is plucked right out of the preschool classes, but it seems like they still like to pick them relatively young. And once they hit the 6 and over group, the groups are just so much bigger. Larger classes and a range of ages and abilities. I think it's completely fine for a kid who is just there for fun and nothing else. And if they want to move DD into that group next month when she turns 6, so be it. She will have outgrown the kindergarten class. She is honestly the best kid in her group at the moment, but that also has to do with the fact that she's been in that class about 9 months now and most the other kids are newer to that level than she is.

 

[Malenkaya]

Just to echo what mellow yellow says above, don't be afraid to explore other options. We were at a gym for several years, and we were emotionally attached to the gym. My sister and other family members competed there.

My DD has ADHD as well. Since it was a smaller gym, they did spot her for team, but once on team, she really struggled. Privates certainly helped at that gym due to her focus issues. When the girls weren't doing great at the meets, many of them started taking weekly privates. Sure it helped, but if the coaching is effective at the practices, I don't think they should need all those privates.

I moved DD to a new gym, and I could tell fairly quickly that the coaching was much better suited for her attention issues and form problems. Lots of physical corrections and very little time spent standing around waiting in line. We are not doing private lessons, and DD is improving a lot! So bottom line, that first gym was not a good fit for her even though it may be fine for other kids. Don't be afraid to consider other places. Good luck!

There are two other gyms in the area. A little research tells me that one of them was bought out by someone else a few years back and their reviews say they have basically gone downhill since then. The red flags seem to be the large ratio of students to coaches, even for the little kids, and a couple people mentioned they don't even have someone at the front desk to answer phones or take payments. Kind of makes me feel like they don't quite have it together. Someone said they are fine for team kids, that's what they focus on, but forget about rec. Makes me think if DD can't make team where she is but this place would evaluate her and put her in the team track, she would be fine there. But I wouldn't want to go there and enroll her in rec classes hoping for team. The other gym I know less about, but I have a friend whose daughter's best friend is a level 8 or 9 there and that girl's dad is one of the coaches. If need be, when the time comes, I can get more information about them and see whether or not DD would be a good fit there. I think she just needs more time and more skills before I would take her anywhere else for any kind of evaluation.

The more I research other gyms the more I feel like where she's at, despite the fact that they are highly competitive, they are doing it right. The student to coach ratio is good and it might be they have so many kids that they literally take the ones they see with the most natural talent out to team track and any other kid interested has to go and make themselves heard that they want to try too. They aren't lacking for finding kids so they aren't overly recruiting them into the team track because it really is a large facility.

So we will see. I just want to get DD the best shot at doing gymnastics because she has been consistently vocal about wanting it. But I am also aware it's not the end all be all. Her dance teacher says the class she's in has been her best group this year. The dance they are learning for the recital is a tap number that is pretty tough, and she said she would never attempt it with any other group of kids this age, but she thinks her class can do it. This teacher also runs the competitive dance troupe and says any of the girls in DD's class could very likely make her troupe if they just keep dancing. I know DD loves to dance but right now I know gymnastics is her first choice. She also loves to sing and shows real potential there (I was a singer so I actually know a thing or two about this) and DH said something about getting DD a vocal coach at some point down the line. I know that's a lot for a not yet 6 year old, so I'd like to take this summer to focus on the one thing that she says she wants and see what she can or can't do if gymnastics isn't in her future she can do something else she enjoys because there are definitely things I know she's good at.

 

[LJL07]

I made a point of letting gym know about the ADHD once she was on team. I'm not sure it's necessary yet. Maybe wait and see if the privates pan out? Maybe others who have been there can advise better in this situation. I never know what's best to tell or not tell coaches!

 

[Malenkaya]

The same coach called back and said the 2 coaches she talked to about DD said they don't think she's serious. That she is social and fun and loves the gym but they don't view her as wanting more than that. No talk about abilities, which I know aren't superstar gymnast but she does well enough.

So I decided to tell her about the ADHD diagnosis just happening a month ago, and then the girl got pretty animated. Talked about some gymnastics convention where she heard a giant lecture about how good gymnastics is for ADHD. Then she mentioned a specific coach who actually spoke up (I'm guessing there was a staff meeting and DD was discussed) and said he would love the opportunity to train DD. This was someone else who has coached her before, so maybe his particular view was different than her other coaches.

So they didn't specifically say privates were any good in terms of how they view her potential but after mentioning ADHD it gave the coach pause that their views were subject to change. She certainly still has a shot if she can focus and apply herself. What this does is put her on their radar, if she can show them now that she really wants it. The rest is on her now.

I asked about cost of privates and I compared that to what we are paying now. She is in 2 rec classes and I plan to drop it to 1 as long as all goes well with privates. She won't be taking dance for the summer so our out of pocket for her activities won't change much. I expected their cost for privates to be higher.

So we are going to try it. I know she loves gymnastics, loves the one on one time with her coaches. It could also be a form of therapy for her. Whether or not she ever competes, who knows. The gym isn't making a ton of money off us for doing it this way, and it will make DD happy.