So, 6 months after gym move, an update if you're interested. Warning: this is long!

Parents... Coaches... Gymnasts...
Gymnastics Questions?
Don't Lurk... We've Got Answers!

New For 2022
MEMBERS ONLY Parent Group!
Join for FREE!
Status
Not open for further replies.

mamaoftwo

Member
Jan 9, 2011
142
Midwest
You all were so helpful when we were deciding whether to move my DD to a new gym last December. DD just turned 8 and just officially move on up to L4 for the summer. Things are going ... ok.

There's been a lot of unexpected gym drama since the move. Our gym has two campuses and DD was DEFINITELY at the 'not so good' gym. See... one is traditionally the "boys gym" and the other is more the "girls gym". DD was at the "boys gym". While I knew going into this that there was some disparity (DD's coach was seemingly fairly forthcoming about it), I still chose to place her with the "warm" coach at the "lesser gym" vs. the more "driven" group of coaches after all that DD experienced at her former gym. DD was with a smaller group of 5 total girls and coach was a real sweetheart.

Upon "joining" the gym, we were informed that DD would be staying at the "notsogood campus" for at least another 18 months. Maybe surprisingly, this was much preferred by me, as it is 20 minutes closer to home. Might not seem like a huge deal, but when we were already driving 40 min each way... well, you get my drift. Well, DD's coach is pregnant and due right before comp season, so plans have changed and DD's switch to the other gym starts ... now! Come to find out, DD's coach knew she was expecting when we chose their gym, but as she was only 5 weeks along, she wasn't ready to share that tidbit. I really wish we would have known, because there was one more reasonable gym for us to check out that we hadn't yet. Anyway, you know what they say about hindsight.

Unfortunately, the disparity in coaching between the two campuses was REALLY downplayed. I mean, girls from DD's campus scored 32's to 34's at the one meet DD participated in this spring, and the "other campus" girls were scoring in the 37s to 39s. That was a bit disheartening, but again, I am not tremendously score-driven, and DD enjoyed just the experience (didn't care where she placed), so all was ... ok.

Well, the girls from both campuses are all together now in one group. The "other campus" kids all do TOPs in addition to their regular classes (wasn't an option at the "DD's campus"). DD is now a bit discouraged (actually, that's an understatement), as the other girls are a bit ahead (quite a few have ro-bhs-bhs-bt, among other skills) and I have to admit that I got a tiny bit frustrated just in the few minutes I watched them. DD's group is much further behind, and it seems the "better campus" coaches really like their girls, if you know what I mean? Now, I am not a "watcher" by design, I run from the drama, but DD was nervous for the first few practices at the "new gym" so I watched about a half an hour or so the first few days. Some of the other moms from DD's group have stayed and oh-so-kindly informed me of what they saw.

They aren't happy and there's a load of drama there. I try to ignore it - it is what it is and nothing's going to be perfect, but once in awhile it wears on me. I can only hear them complain about the coaching so many times before I want to tell them where to go (another gym, perhaps?). My complaining isn't going to change matters, and I'd rather stay positive for my DD.

And here I have a bill for $1500 worth of leos/warm-ups/fall comp fees that I need to pay, and there's just that tiny part of me that wants to hesitate. I really do not want to move gyms again, DD likes it there. THAT is what is important, so I guess that's just a mini-rant there due to my own uncertainty. I just sorta feel a little bit duped, I guess.

Anyhow - DD is doing much better on beam, and is really gaining some confidence back. She's nearly got her handstand back which is HUGE. She's still struggling on her darned mil circle (has the shoot thru part) and that darned BHS. She won't even attempt it without a spot yet. Otherwise, she's got the rest of her L4 skills (and knows the routines) and she has 10.5 hours of gym time per week this summer to get ready.

She likes all of the coaches but one - and even that was she thinks is ok - just "really picky". I tried to explain that was a good thing, but hey - she's 8 and doesn't really get that yet.

So, all in all DD is much happier, if not a little bit jealous of the "other girls". She's looking forward to competing L4 in the fall. The drive leaves a bit to be desired for me, but I suppose that could be worse. DD hasn't complained a single time about going to gym since the move. DD loves her sport again. That alone has been worth it.

I can only hope that the "new girls" assimilate well and are treated equally relatively soon!
 
Last edited:

MaryA

Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Jul 22, 2010
4,442
Yes, I can definitely understand your frustration. Do you think it might be worth taking a quick peek at the one gym you didn't check out, before you shell out that $1500, since you didn't really get what you were bargaining for (small, warm, fuzzy gym vs large ultra-competitive gym)? I'm not saying you should switch, but maybe you won't care for the other gym and then you could at least put that option out of your head and know that your DD is in the best place for her. And if you LOVE it... Well, cross that bridge when you get there.

That said, it's great that your DD is loving gym again and gaining back her skills. How these other girls are doing as level 4's probably has very little relation to how they'll be doing at the upper levels (for those that even make it to the upper levels) so that's nothing to fret over.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person

Flossyduck

Proud Parent
Feb 2, 2012
936
I really feel for you! Having gone through the gym change ourselves, and all that entails, to find that things are not as they seemed must be really tough.

As parents we struggle so hard to do what we think is the right thing for our children and when it doesn't go according to plan we feel we've let them down. The thing is, we can't protect them from everything and life is never perfect.

It sounds as though you are doing a great job absorbing the negatives so that your daughter can get on and enjoy her gym. And it does sound as though they can coach!

At that age girls catch up quickly with good coaching. I really hope as the dust settles (if you choose to stay) your daughter will become one of those coaches girls and they will take pride in her achievements too and you will both start to feel part of the place soon.
 

gymmomof1

Proud Parent
Oct 23, 2009
883
NJ Region 7
Here's a ((hug)). Hang in there since the switch is new and so is the combinding of campus girls. Hopefully as the coaches get to know your DD's group things will improve. Important thing is for her to keep enjoying what she does and it sounds like she is :).
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person

GymBee97

Proud Parent
Feb 13, 2012
1,118
Yes, I can definitely understand your frustration. Do you think it might be worth taking a quick peek at the one gym you didn't check out, before you shell out that $1500, since you didn't really get what you were bargaining for (small, warm, fuzzy gym vs large ultra-competitive gym)? I'm not saying you should switch, but maybe you won't care for the other gym and then you could at least put that option out of your head and know that your DD is in the best place for her. And if you LOVE it... Well, cross that bridge when you get there.


Mary I was just going to say the same thing.

Before you shell out that $1500 it would be worth it to check out that other gym. You might find you like it better and it might be worth considering changing gyms before she gets too far up the levels and is really attached. You might see that the other gym isn't what you want compared to your current gym either way you will at least know if you missed out on a choice or not.

As far as your DD being "behind" really I don't believe any gymnast is "behind" they are where they are. Just because little suzie next to your DD can do XYZ and your DD can't YET doesn't make her behind. Just because little suzie scores higher than your DD doesn't make your DD Behind. The only thing it shows is they are at different places in their training - your DD is where she is and it doesn't make her behind because others have other skills or scores your DD doesn't have yet.

It like saying a 10 yo at L4 is behind because there are 10 yo at L5 and L6. And that doesn't make any of them behind just at different places in their training.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person

wandrewsjr

Coach
Proud Parent
Sep 4, 2009
2,469
Here's a ((hug)). Hang in there since the switch is new and so is the combinding of campus girls. Hopefully as the coaches get to know your DD's group things will improve. Important thing is for her to keep enjoying what she does and it sounds like she is :).

Agree with this, think this definately sounds like a hang in there for year and see how it goes situation. Like you said, your daughter is happy and the coaching is good, don't think it is worth a gamble to leave a situation like that. It may take a little while for the girls and coaches to warm-up to the "new girls", but it will happen. Hang in there with the mama drama, sounds like you have a great attitude about it.;)
 

gym law mom

Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
2,525
I'm not the kind to run to another gym, but in this case I think for your own peace of mind, its worth it to go check out the other gym you might have considered last year. Most likely the current program will be the one you stay with, but at least this way on those long drives coming up, you will know you made the right choice.
Since all of the girls have been put together I would start asking about carpooling.
I think it will all work out well. Its almost like starting at a new gym all over again. The coaches have to get to know the "new" L4s and the girls have to get to know each other. Hopefully, there will be some team activities over the summer to make this 1 team.
 

gymnastmom38

Proud Parent
Feb 1, 2010
239
Region 4
I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I've never experienced the gym switch so I don't know what that's like. I hope your situation improves, whatever that takes!
 

LizzieLac

Proud Parent
May 4, 2010
1,872
UGH - I somehow messed up my post. The main thought I had was that it might be good for your DD to train with the girls from the other campus - she might learn something by observing their form. SOunds like you will also have access to other coaches. I actually think this could all be a good thing. Good luck!
 

gymmomtoo

Proud Parent
Sep 27, 2011
3,317
Region 4
I think the mixing of the two groups will take time for everything to settle out. If your daughter is happy, working hard and improving, that's the important thing. I will be looking forward to your posts during the season to hear how she does!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person

mamaoftwo

Member
Jan 9, 2011
142
Midwest
Thanks, everyone for your replies. I did talk with DD some about the "opportunity" to try out at that one last gym, just to be sure (and partly to see what she'd say). Her reply was an emphatic "no"! She told me, "(Gym name) is my gym now, and I'm not going anywhere!" I have to say I was relieved to hear it. I can deal with the moms, as long as DD is happy and enjoying herself.

While she feels a bit down that many of the other girls are "ahead", I'll continue to build her up and remind her that she's right where she's supposed to be.

And for a bit of good news, DD did manage to get her ROBHS on the floor on just her fourth day at the "new campus" (yesterday). She got to ring the bell, and they had all of her teammates stop to watch her. Apparently they all clapped for her, and she got hugs from all of her coaches. She was absolutely glowing when my husband brought her home! I guess she did a dozen or so yesterday. Today she asked me to stay until I could see her do one and I did. While I can't say they're perfect, some of them looked pretty darned ok!

She still doesn't have her standing BHS, but hey we're patient. :)

Thanks again for taking the time to reply. I know we have time. She'll be where she'll be. And I'm ok with that. I just need to bring my earbuds on the days I have to stay for a portion of the practice!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
Status
Not open for further replies.