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NGL780309
I have already emailed DD's coach in a very polite manner to let her know how my child felt and I need a place to vent how I really feel and what I really wanted to say.
DD is a 5yo L4. They recently began working a few L5 skills into their rotations. One of those skills is a dive roll. The coach sets ups a little octagon shape and a mat and they dive over it. DD loves these and they have been doing them for about 2 or 3 weeks. Their practice is now back in the evenings when the gym is crazy full and I guess there were no octagon shapes available for use so she set up a dive roll station with this other mat/shape thing that is shaped like the letter U, but set up where the curved part is on the top. I don't know what it's called. She realized that it was tall and then put a spring board in front of that for them to punch off of. The mom I was sitting next too gasped at one point because her DD crashed on her head trying to dive over this. Then I watched several other girls struggle with the timing of when to tuck and land badly. Basically it wasn't going well.
As DD was approaching this station I started worrying about her. She's so short and way shorter than anyone else. I was tempted to break all rules and walk out there and ask her to please not let my DD kill herself on this. DD runs for her first attempt and stops. I'm thinking that's a good thing. She's aware this is a different set up and she's stopping because she's uncomfortable. Her 2nd attempt she dives over and lands on her head. Her legs didn't make it over. She goes for another attempt and lands on her head again. I'm in mother bear mode and ready to march down there and tell her to stop. Thankfully the coach noticed and told her to stop. It was obvious to everyone watching that she was too little to do a dive roll over this. Very scary to watch.
After floor she comes to me and asks to go home. My DD has never ever asked to leave practice. I tried to ask her why, but she wouldn't tell me. I sent her on to vault. She was clearly not trying on vault. After vault I walked downstairs and said to her coach that I was going to take her home if she wasn't trying or was upset about something. The coach responded that DD was upset because she had gotten in trouble on floor. I asked for what and she said because she was playing around on her dive rolls and landing on her head. I went back upstairs and was really mad. It was so clear that the problem was the set up and not my child. She was not being silly or playing around. She does do that from time to time and I'm the first to call her out and this was not the case.
On the way home from practice DD was crying hysterically. I knew her feelings were hurt because her coach got onto her for something that wasn't the case. I asked her to tell me why she was so upset and she told me just like I thought that she couldn't do it and she really was trying. She told me the octagon is little and it rolls if your body touches it. The other U shape doesn't roll and she couldn't get over it and tuck to roll out and the coach thought she was doing bad on purpose. I was really angry. I was watching the whole scenario as were other parents. It was a disaster waiting to happen.
I consoled DD and let her know that I know she wasn't playing around. She told me she's not going back because she's afraid to do something wrong and be in trouble. What a great thing to teach a 5 year old. You can't make a mistake or you're in trouble. I did stress to my DD that she needs to know that if she's uncomfortable with doing something she has to go and ask for help or wait until the coach is there to help her. I forgot to add that DD had to do push-ups while everyone else played in the pit at the end of practice. She told me she didn't really care about that. It's not like she has never had conditioning for goofing off and she has never cried about it before.
I wrote a polite email letting her know that DD was very uncomfortable doing dive rolls over this way and felt she was really trying. She didn't need punishment, she needed instruction! Could the coach please assist her next time and that I've instructed DD to ask for help if she needs it. I'm sure she'll think I'm this crazy parent thinking my child is faultless, which is not the case. My DD has never cried at gym and she was really crushed. This coach simply forgets sometimes that DD is a good head shorter than the next tallest girl, she comes up to mid chest on most of them and she's waist high to the two 11 year olds. There was a situation before where they were doing round-offs over this same U shape mat and if you touched it you had to do pushups. DD dutifully did her push-ups every time, but there was no way on earth she could do a round-off over that. I didn't complain because she wasn't hurt by doing push-ups and she wasn't in any danger, but use your brain. You can't always set up the same equipement for a 39 inch tall 5 year old and 5 foot tall 11 year old.
I have never complained about anything and try to let DD handle things. She's never been upset though. She is just crushed. It sounds so silly, but these are very real feelings for her. I can remember being 5yo and getting in trouble at school because the teacher thought I left out all the stuff at the art center when really I just walked away to get help opening the glue. I was so ashamed and crushed. Obviously enough that I remember those feelings clearly 25 years later.
I have yet to get a response for my email, but I'll let you know when I do.
DD is a 5yo L4. They recently began working a few L5 skills into their rotations. One of those skills is a dive roll. The coach sets ups a little octagon shape and a mat and they dive over it. DD loves these and they have been doing them for about 2 or 3 weeks. Their practice is now back in the evenings when the gym is crazy full and I guess there were no octagon shapes available for use so she set up a dive roll station with this other mat/shape thing that is shaped like the letter U, but set up where the curved part is on the top. I don't know what it's called. She realized that it was tall and then put a spring board in front of that for them to punch off of. The mom I was sitting next too gasped at one point because her DD crashed on her head trying to dive over this. Then I watched several other girls struggle with the timing of when to tuck and land badly. Basically it wasn't going well.
As DD was approaching this station I started worrying about her. She's so short and way shorter than anyone else. I was tempted to break all rules and walk out there and ask her to please not let my DD kill herself on this. DD runs for her first attempt and stops. I'm thinking that's a good thing. She's aware this is a different set up and she's stopping because she's uncomfortable. Her 2nd attempt she dives over and lands on her head. Her legs didn't make it over. She goes for another attempt and lands on her head again. I'm in mother bear mode and ready to march down there and tell her to stop. Thankfully the coach noticed and told her to stop. It was obvious to everyone watching that she was too little to do a dive roll over this. Very scary to watch.
After floor she comes to me and asks to go home. My DD has never ever asked to leave practice. I tried to ask her why, but she wouldn't tell me. I sent her on to vault. She was clearly not trying on vault. After vault I walked downstairs and said to her coach that I was going to take her home if she wasn't trying or was upset about something. The coach responded that DD was upset because she had gotten in trouble on floor. I asked for what and she said because she was playing around on her dive rolls and landing on her head. I went back upstairs and was really mad. It was so clear that the problem was the set up and not my child. She was not being silly or playing around. She does do that from time to time and I'm the first to call her out and this was not the case.
On the way home from practice DD was crying hysterically. I knew her feelings were hurt because her coach got onto her for something that wasn't the case. I asked her to tell me why she was so upset and she told me just like I thought that she couldn't do it and she really was trying. She told me the octagon is little and it rolls if your body touches it. The other U shape doesn't roll and she couldn't get over it and tuck to roll out and the coach thought she was doing bad on purpose. I was really angry. I was watching the whole scenario as were other parents. It was a disaster waiting to happen.
I consoled DD and let her know that I know she wasn't playing around. She told me she's not going back because she's afraid to do something wrong and be in trouble. What a great thing to teach a 5 year old. You can't make a mistake or you're in trouble. I did stress to my DD that she needs to know that if she's uncomfortable with doing something she has to go and ask for help or wait until the coach is there to help her. I forgot to add that DD had to do push-ups while everyone else played in the pit at the end of practice. She told me she didn't really care about that. It's not like she has never had conditioning for goofing off and she has never cried about it before.
I wrote a polite email letting her know that DD was very uncomfortable doing dive rolls over this way and felt she was really trying. She didn't need punishment, she needed instruction! Could the coach please assist her next time and that I've instructed DD to ask for help if she needs it. I'm sure she'll think I'm this crazy parent thinking my child is faultless, which is not the case. My DD has never cried at gym and she was really crushed. This coach simply forgets sometimes that DD is a good head shorter than the next tallest girl, she comes up to mid chest on most of them and she's waist high to the two 11 year olds. There was a situation before where they were doing round-offs over this same U shape mat and if you touched it you had to do pushups. DD dutifully did her push-ups every time, but there was no way on earth she could do a round-off over that. I didn't complain because she wasn't hurt by doing push-ups and she wasn't in any danger, but use your brain. You can't always set up the same equipement for a 39 inch tall 5 year old and 5 foot tall 11 year old.
I have never complained about anything and try to let DD handle things. She's never been upset though. She is just crushed. It sounds so silly, but these are very real feelings for her. I can remember being 5yo and getting in trouble at school because the teacher thought I left out all the stuff at the art center when really I just walked away to get help opening the glue. I was so ashamed and crushed. Obviously enough that I remember those feelings clearly 25 years later.
I have yet to get a response for my email, but I'll let you know when I do.