Parents Abuse vs motivation

[Midwestmommy]

Its really hard to define this stuff in writing. I agree generally with all of this stuff. But I will say that the day I discovered, to my surprise, that my slowpoke daughter can actually run really fast was the day her coach yelled really loud all the way down the vault track "RUN RUN FASTER FASTER." And she flew. I was there to see it because it was near the end of practice and I thought, who is that and where did they put my daughter? But he had a big smile on his face afterward (and he's a great person and would not have had a frown on his face if it didn't work). She was giggling on the way home that night, I'll never forget it--and said she felt a breeze in her hair while she was running. She has been running fast ever since..... It was yelling, but it wasn't screaming or belittling..... I think he was trying to get all her overanalytical plotting out of her brain and get her to just run already....

The most belittling coach she ever had was one a while back that seemed to think it was OK to ignore kids, roll her eyes, and only give corrections to one or two on the team who were kids of friends and her favorites. That coach was being extremely belittling without saying anything at all.....

 

[Iwannabemargo]

as @Midwestmommy says context and tone is everything. This afternoon my recently bereaved mother-in-law had a visit from a funeral plan salesman. He started the patter and I asked a few pertinent questions. He told me with a smile on his face that he would get to my questions later. I pulled him up nicely, informed him that I used to be a salesman and not to give us the patter just the facts. To cut a long story short he left shortly afterward thanked me for our time with a tone that was ready to commit murder ! His words were correct but his tone was pure evil.