Parents Advice for how to handle shifting teams now that the meet season is over?

[BusyMomof2]

Hi all! We're wrapping up our first competitive season and looking for wisdom on how to handle the upcoming team shuffles.

My daughter really loves her teammates, but I just met with her coaches and they are moving her from Silver to Gold. This is unexpected for us as she joined the team late (in November) but I am really proud of how hard she has worked. She's on the youngish side (8) and this will be a big transition for her, but her coaches want to prepare her for optionals the following year and believe training with the Gold team will be a better path for that. She will be thrilled, I think, as she has big dreams. But she's only been in gymnastics for about 1 year now so we just assumed a full year on Silver for next year would be the plan.

I haven't told her this news yet, but I do know that her best friend from the team is not moving up. Only 5 out of 15 are, so she'll know some of her new team but it's not her closest friends. I feel like this is common in competitive sports, and sometimes you are the one moving up and sometimes you aren't. Any practical advice to keep in mind?

 

[katrid11]

• Every gymnast has their own unique path
• Friendships will endure changing teams - you can always hang out before/after practice/off days etc
• You can always add new friends when you change teams

For us, we know that even if all 12 L4 girls move up to L6 - they will be in 2 practice groups vs 1. My DD has changed teams and changed gyms yet always seems to find a good group of teammates to be friends with.

 

[txgymfan]

Start setting up play dates with her best gym friends outside of practice so they can work on developing the friendship away from the sport.

 

[LucyRobinson]

#1 you can still see your friends. Whether that is during conditioning or warm up, a wave or high five in the gym, watching each other's meets, or outside of practice, that friendship doesn't go away.
#2 In general, gymnasts are great, friendly, hardworking people that are awesome friends. You have a lot in common with anyone you train with. A new group is s great opportunity to branch out.
#3 There is a chance that some of the kids in the new group might not be very inclusive right away. Kids repeating the level might feel threatened or intimidate by new move ups. If it doesn't seem like the group meshes in the first week, don't back away unless there is actual bullying. If can be really hard as a repeating kid to accept the lower levels are catching up to you (not to excuse bad behavior, but just keep it in mind).

 

[rlm's mom]

She can still keep up with her old friends, and make new ones! The more the merrier!

 

[Dahlia]

Keep it positive. New friends are waiting in Gold! Others are moving up with her who are in a similar situation. Girls staying silver are still teammates and she can still see them even if just outside of gym.

Also let her know that the teammates not moving up now may end up in the same level in the future.

And acknowledge her feelings, "I see you're sad that xxxx isn't moving to Gold with you. That's normal. She's going to miss you too!" and then talk about how to keep in touch, etc.

Fwiw, I worried about this every year with Dd (whether staying or moving up) and in reality it is never a huge deal. She always adapts super fast and always ends up making new friends with new teammates.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

Fwiw, I worried about this every year with Dd (whether staying or moving up) and in reality it is never a huge deal. She always adapts super fast and always ends up making new friends with new teammates.

Yes, we parents stress about it more than the gymnasts do!

 

[gymgal]

I would just let her know (unless the coaches want to tell her) and let her take the lead as to how she feels about the new level, not being with her best friend, etc. If I recall from your last post, she wanted to try for L6 next season (after initially thinking she wanted to stay in Silver another year). So she has already been thinking about moving up. It likely is going to go a lot more smoothly than what you are anticipating. And as others have said, she will still be able to see her other friends in/out of practice.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Mine is still friends with kids who have moved to other gyms and other sports.
And at the same gym but different levels.

Its about how much effort is put in to maintaining the relationships. At younger ages that falls to the parents and how much time the parent has is a factor.

As they get older (and the upside to technology) even if they aren’t in the same group or even gym they are busy texting and FaceTiming each other.

This is the nature of gymnastics. Everyones path is not the same.

 

[JBS]

Any practical advice to keep in mind?

I'm a coach and a parent... so this may sound more like a coach... but it is how we treat our personal kids no matter if they are being coached by us or not.

Just take her to the new practice. That's all. Then answer any questions when they come up.

 

[WV Gym Mom]

When my daughters best friends are on different tracks/levels, I focus on the positives - we are luckily a small gym so many shared practices, she gets a chance to watch them compete from meets in the stands when they compete different times, etc. Its `been fun watching the girls all grow at their own paces and abilities.

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

I’m mildly dreading this myself - I know DD is moving up, and her best friend is being put in like a bubble inbetween group due to missing skills. They don’t know that yet though. And ASAIK, if her friend doesn’t move up they plan on moving gyms. It’ll be a rough summer. Kids are resilient though!

 

[BusyMomof2]

Thanks all! I always like to see the different perspectives, both in parenting and gymnastics.

I did find out this morning that her best friend is possibly moving up, and that she has 8 weeks to uptrain and see if she can get get a few more of our gym's required skills for Gold, so fingers crossed that works out.

Also, anyone have any guidance for how to best deal with large age gaps? She'll now be on a team with a few teenagers (14, 15 years old) and my new fear is that they won't be kind to her. Yes, I'm probably being paranoid but it literally kept me awake last night. I've had zero interaction with these girls and they could be lovely but I tend to worry. My daughter is 8 and still wears a 4t so she's super tiny.

That said, I love her coaches and trust very much that they know what they are doing (long time gymnastics coaches) so I should just chill.

 

[gymgal]

Also, anyone have any guidance for how to best deal with large age gaps? She'll now be on a team with a few teenagers (14, 15 years old) and my new fear is that they won't be kind to her.
That said, I love her coaches and trust very much that they know what they are doing (long time gymnastics coaches) so I should just chill.

you answered your own question. Go into this expecting no problems and if one arises, you (coaches) can handle it then.

 

[MuggleMom]

We have never had a problem with the older girls being mean to younger girls. Now a bully is a bully no matter the age so there is always that to look out for but generally the older girls take a younger sister approach to dealing with younger kids. The main thing I always had to keep an ear out for was talking about things I didnt want my kid hearing about (HS topics, or Santa etc) but that was never as big an issue as I thought it would end up being

 

[LucyRobinson]

Also, anyone have any guidance for how to best deal with large age gaps? She'll now be on a team with a few teenagers (14, 15 years old) and my new fear is that they won't be kind to her. Yes, I'm probably being paranoid but it literally kept me awake last night. I've had zero interaction with these girls and they could be lovely but I tend to worry. My daughter is 8 and still wears a 4t so she's super tiny.

I honestly think 14-15 year olds are going to be great helping your daughter adjust rather than kids 1-2 years older. Sure they may not become her best friends, but often they are excited to include a cute younger girl and serve as a role model or leader. They will be less concerned about her "catching up" or "beating them". And they know that being mean to a girl 5 years younger than them and the clear underdog is not acceptable.

 

[Dad1234]

Thanks all! I always like to see the different perspectives, both in parenting and gymnastics.

I did find out this morning that her best friend is possibly moving up, and that she has 8 weeks to uptrain and see if she can get get a few more of our gym's required skills for Gold, so fingers crossed that works out.

Also, anyone have any guidance for how to best deal with large age gaps? She'll now be on a team with a few teenagers (14, 15 years old) and my new fear is that they won't be kind to her. Yes, I'm probably being paranoid but it literally kept me awake last night. I've had zero interaction with these girls and they could be lovely but I tend to worry. My daughter is 8 and still wears a 4t so she's super tiny.

That said, I love her coaches and trust very much that they know what they are doing (long time gymnastics coaches) so I should just chill.

My daughter is an 8 year old excel gold. I too worried about her training with older girls. Most of her team is 10 and up with most being middle school students and maybe even early high school. The older girls really don’t pay any attention to my daughter. They are friends with the older athletes and don’t interact with the younger athletes much. They have never been unkind to her and I haven’t had any issues with her over hearing inappropriate conversations for her age. The disadvantage of being younger is that there aren’t as many girls on the team to relate to and be friends with. Also, where I live she was always competing against girls who were two or more years older than her. That was a shock as I expected there to be more kids her age at competitions. Some competitions, she looked like a baby next to the other competitors and it was very obvious she was the youngest kid at the meet.