advice from old thread..

[DND]

Update and seeking advice now...(sorry if this gets long winded)

Took DD to gym yesterday and going in she was okay as we had discussed the competing lower or staying where she is. I was right an she does not want to move just to compete and she was okay with just going to practice. She admitted she was a little scared as the whole shaken confidence and them believing in her was still bugging her a little.

When we arrived the other head coach (husband - the head coaches are married) asked her how she was feeling and she said fine. He made a comment to her that he thought yesterday she was only coughing during bars and beam not floor and vault. She said really; shrugged her shoulders and went into the gym. He said to me that beam and bars are her weak events and maybe that has to do with the cough. He went on briefly about her intelligence and playing little games while making sure I knew she still worked hard. I think he was politely trying to say it is psychosomatic and it would be those two events that held her back from competing.

I told him I already knew that as DD had told me the night before about the other head coach telling her....

I filled him in on how hurt and crying she was and what advice I had given her. He did not know that was said to her and mentioned that maybe she (other coach) was doing it to see if it would push her. There was a bit more talk and then he also said he was not giving up and that we would have to wait and see.

I then mentioned the leo issue and he seemed surprised that she was not fitted and then said well we know her size...the smallest one.

I had to get back to work so as long as the above seems it was really all a two minute conversation at best. I had appointments so I was unable to get back to the gym early watch DD and see how she made out (sometimes I can read thing from her body language that tells me more than she does) or talk to the coaches about how DD was feeling.

I asked DD how practice was and she said good/bad; she said she was scared again on beam. I wonder if this goes to the whole believing in herself and the coach believing in her as the beam coach is the same coach who told her she felt she would not be ready to compete. I told her what the "other coach" had said and more so about not giving up on her; her answer was why doesn't he say that to me.

SO now for advice - should I be relaying this back to the coaches? I don't want to seem like I am telling them how to deal with DD so to speak. The relationship they have with DD is different and I imagine they try and go through various stages learning and trusting each other along the way. I has been mentioned that they have a hard time reading DD as she is very quiet and she never gets mad or upset ...she will just do what you tell her without complaining.

What to do next????

 

[bogwoppit]

I would just watch and wait. They know what they are doing and know what it takes to be a national gymnast. I know it is hard to sit by, but I don't think you tell tell them anything that they do not know about your DD.

Gymnastics is such a mind game, more than physically strong girls have to be mentally stong to train and compete. Have you checked out Doc Ali and her insights into this. Your DD might benefit from some mnd games!

 

[DND]

I started to look into it a while back, but got side tracked....

What do you suggest; videos, books or someone like her (sports psychologists) locally?

 

[bogwoppit]

I know Doc Ali has some great cd's etc. JUst search Doc Ali and you will find lots of info. The great thing about her is she really knows gymnastics. She has a website too.

Locally, no idea.

 

[coachmolly]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with the coaches and respect their work and what they're doing with your DD, so I think it's at times like these you need to rely on that and remember they know what they're doing and haven't given you reason to doubt them yet. But I also think it's good to be in open communication with them, letting them know how your DD is feeling about everything that is going on. You mentioned before that they haven't worked with someone her age for a while, so I think it's okay to check in with them and make sure they understand how a little one is processing all of this. So long as it's done respectfully, just noting what your DD said/feels and not seemingly undermining their knowledge of the sport.
Your DD is working on some tough skills and I think you just need to keep reminding her that she is young and these skills are scary and do take time, so it's okay to not pick everything up right away. She sounds very talented and I'm sorry she's feeling so upset. Hopefully with a little more time and confidence in herself things will improve by themselves.

 

[flippin out]

Try Dr. Ali's website - Link Removed

The Mental Toughness workbooks are great. Another great resource is the Book -- Gymnastics (Sports Psychololgy Library) - Link Removed

Not sure how old your dd is? The book (amazon) may be a bit over her head to read on her own.......but it can be a great thing to read together, as it may help you know how to help her. I found it very enlightening. I actually order one the other books of the series for my son to read.