MAG Anyone with a story of a gawky early adolescent boy getting stuck but later being able to progress?

[gracyomalley]

So, my DD was picked from pre-school rec class for "hot shots" pre-team and moved to L7 fairly easily, did well there and was truely almost ready to do very well at L8 that spring, then with puberty (at 11), gym and coach changes, vestibular stuff and bullying struggled for a year then moved on from gym...my older DS started gym at almost 11, sat at L5 until testosterone hit, then moved to L7 then L8 but with the changes and his other activities may be done this summer (will know when he gets back from music summer study). The only one who was still sure about gym was my younger son, who at just turned 12 continues to grow too fast and be the one without a natural gymnast body type...He's grown 3 inches in the last 4 months and looks like your classic gawky early adolescent boy...which is new for our family (DD is topping out at 4'10", older boy at 5'5"...younger one already 5' and no signs of testosterone or spurt yet...). He found out he will most likely repeat L6 a third year (reasonable, based upon how many skills he's losing off and on)...and it may be that I'm tired of paying the bills and watching the drama, but I'm wondering if he should move on?

He was a good/promising young L4/L5, learned those skills easily, and has been an average L6 with medals here and there...but he's all angles and "weak" for his size right now....its making him very frustrated and for him that leads to trying less and being too social. His friends are moving forward - they are either older or more natural gymnasts.

Really, I don't care if he is always very average if he's got a chance to continue to move forward and have some personal success/be a good team member, etc...but I do not want a repeat of what DD went through...she was a talented young optional, winning often, good form, potential for college, etc...so I wanted her to push through the hard stuff if possible....not sure he'll ever be more than a pommel/pbar kid, maybe JD for optionals, but that means keeping him emotionally together a few more years before he grows muscles...

Worth it?

 

[profmom]

Oh, so you mean you want to hear about a guy like DS's teammate, who spent three pretty much middle-of-the-pack years at L6, and then aged up to L8 and missed most of his first optional comp year due to a nasty ankle break early in the season? And then the following year went on to medal on vault at nationals, and last season as a first-year L9 again medaled on vault at nationals and made AA finals? That kind of story?

 

[gracyomalley]

yes..thanks ....DS needs to hear these things and I need to be able to be patient and supportive of him being him...and try not to think of all the checks I'm writing !

 

[gymdog]

Does he want to do gymnastics? That's really all that matters. No matter how or where it ended your other kids learned a lot from gymnastics. I'm pretty sure based on most people I know in time they will look back fondly on their years spent in the gym. If your son wants to continue gymnastics he should continue unless you can't afford the time or money as a family. If he continues he will get better than he is now, I guarantee. How much better is impossible to predict. Almost no way he will not get better.

 

[krc]

How about a 13yo Open Optional (out-of-age back in the day) who went on D1 NCAA, USA Championships, and 3x Sr. National team? The best muscles for gymnastics are passion and a strong work ethic. They will get you much further than talent!
KRC

 

[sce]

yes..thanks ....DS needs to hear these things and I need to be able to be patient and supportive of him being him...and try not to think of all the checks I'm writing !

I think you need to change your perspective. Is have having fun and growing as a person through his gymnastics? If the answer is yes, then that is all you need to know. There is a lot to be gained with persevering in this sport through the growing phases. I definitely feel my ds learned more in the years he has struggled than the years that were easy.

 

[Sasha]

He just turned 12.. so that is 6 more years to develop and enjoy JO/JD/JE, whatever it ends up being. 6 years is a long time, developmentally. So much good can happen. Personally, I wouldn't take height much into the equation - there are 6+footers in NCAA, and I'm excited to watch tall, beefy Kristian Thomas in his 2nd Olympics representing GB this year.

Perhaps not so gangly, but we did have a late-starter 12 year old go from a "decent but not amazing" level 6 season to a State-medalling 13-14 L9 (mid-pack at Regionals, top 10 on 2 events), now poised to be a 15 year old L10 with a realistic chance of making nationals. With 3 more years of L10 after that, luck and hard work can make even more happen. Who knows.

I look at my son, a 'promising' turning-9 year old, and have no idea of what gangliness awaits. He could turn out to be 5'5 or 6'5 given our family tree. I fully expect he will struggle, lose skills, be frustrated, watch others both quit and surpass him at different times. I'll be happy if he is major-injury-free and sticks with it for the great people, atmosphere, and life lessons. Anything more is lucky icing, but I'm mostly hoping for health, memories, and life lessons.

If your son enjoys gym, so much can happen in 6 years. The boys, the families, the atmosphere in MAG.... all great influencers so far from where I sit...

 

[gracyomalley]

I totally agree its about whether he enjoys it - and wants to continue - and I guess I didn't express myself clearly...I don't actually know if he enjoys it and he says he doesn't know either...It's what he's always done. He did gym preschool because we were there with his sister anyway. He loves movement and activity, he loves his friends there and he is comfortable with it because its what he's done for "half my life mom".

And yes, money is always an issue, and family time etc. but also HIS time, and chance to find something he really loves...

When his brother was 12 he couldn't do a kip...seriously...but went on to be Level 7 state floor champion 2 years later and Level 8 vault champion this year...I do realize that a lot can change, I am just worried that he's been set on this path because its what the other 2 kids did...

I am trying to look at him and what he wants objectively, I mentioned the other 2 not to say I somehow wouldn't support his gymnastics because he's not "talented", the others were not/are not the bees knees either - I mentioned it because I don't want to push him (even subconsciuosly) to continue to do something that isn't good "for him" in the long run...just because he's following their path.

I never worried about whether big brother should do gym even though he was old when he started and not particularly "promising" because big brother felt no pressure to be "a good gymnast" and never seemed to care how he did...he was happy and clearly surprised when he started to succeed...worked hard and always seemed to have a good attitude about gym.

This one pulls back when not succeeding easily, can lack focus - or focus well - depending upon how he feels about something/himself at the time, he's always been a drama queen...he's wonderfully empathetic and great with people also, talents his sibs think are "stupid"...not sure how
boy drama/adolescence and gym struggles go well together...it was his 45 minutes of quietly crying while trying to get his press handstand on pbars back that made me wonder...I literally hadn't watched anything at gym in months - learned that lesson a long time ago - and had come by after work to fill out forms - and I hid in the bathroom so he wouldn't realize I was still there once I saw he was a mess...

Probably I'm just burnt out on parenting adolescents!

 

[profmom]

A little off topic, but OMG, growing boys and pbar skills -- UGH!!!!! One of DS's teammates temporarily lost the ability to swing to handstand, a skill he's had since he was like 7 years old. And I am beginning to believe that there are in fact only two moy to supports available in the gym, and on any given day, one can belong to any one of six different boys. Getting/losing the stupid press handstand has been maddening for several of them as well.

 

[Sasha]

I don't actually know if he enjoys it and he says he doesn't know either...It's what he's always done.

Well, that is a universal human feeling.. So many things we cling to in life out of comfort of the familiar, not knowing what else may or may not be out there for us, or could be better for us...

Figuring out if we're sticking with something out of familiarity and fear of change, fear of loss of what 'might be', or if the 'thing' is actually nourishing us in the right ways is so craze-inducing. No magic answer. Personally, I find it's hard to gauge if the current hat really fits and flatters me without trying on a new hat for little bit, even if only 'mentally' trying it on.

Does your son have any gymnastics-specific goals for himself? Like make level 10, or some particular skill group he wants to get to (release moves, double/twisting tumbling..) or..? Does he have any thoughts on what 'success' in gymnastics means to him? We know it's centrally about life lessons, health & fitness, relationships.. but how does he define it, and how does he see himself achieving whatever that is? Has he expressed other interests? At age 12, if my son was expressing consistent doubts about his long-term enjoyment of the sport, I would probably gently look for some other hats to think about (I do have an older son as well). Doesn't mean they will fit as well as gym, but he has only worn one hat for half his life.

 

[profmom]

You know, he could be like my daughter. She doesn't have any grand ambitions for getting to any particular level, and she dislikes competing. I don't think she is hellbent about getting any particular skill (though she wants to pick up the 1.5 twist on vault, is pleased about being close to her 1.5 on floor, and wants a shoot half on bars eventually). However, she loves the sport itself. She loves tumbling across the floor, vaulting, swinging giants, even some things on beam. She feels very satisfied when she gets a new skill. She loves conditioning. I think if she can figure out a way to be a club gymnast without competing in college, she will continue. She works really hard -- at this point, nothing comes easily to her and new skills are few and far between -- but the work seems to be an end in itself for her and makes her happy. I don't completely understand it, but I figure she is building what I hope will be a lifelong habit of vigorous physical activity and joy in the things her body can do.

 

[MaryA]

Probably I'm just burnt out on parenting adolescents!

You and me both, sister!

 

[emorymom]

I'm for letting them be on team if they want to be on team. You can't predict progress. My kid quit at 10 in L6 but he was just tired of pain so it was not fun anymore. Knees, ankles, wrists, one elbow ... they were not holding up.

 

[Madden3]

I do not have any specific stories, but my general impression at our all level gym is that levels 6-8 are populated with gawky looking boys in all shapes and sizes and then "suddenly" at level 9 and 10 they start looking more like muscle-bound super heroes. Not surprisingly, this change seems to correspond with shirts off at practice and girl's coach complaining to boy's coach about the boys chatting up the girls.

My two boys could not be more different physically and neither have a 'classic' gym body. I learned to stop worrying about that long ago. They are going to have happy days and frustrating days, and they are always wiped after practice and not in a peppy mood and more likely to grunt or be silent. But when I ask them about any moodiness, they both protest they love gym. So I keep it simple, and privately have decided that if they start complaining on anything close to a regular basis about going to gym practice, we are done. Until then, here we stay.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I do not have any specific stories, but my general impression at our all level gym is that levels 6-8 are populated with gawky looking boys in all shapes and sizes and then "suddenly" at level 9 and 10 they start looking more like muscle-bound super heroes. Not surprisingly, this change seems to correspond with shirts off at practice and girl's coach complaining to boy's coach about the boys chatting up the girls.

My two boys could not be more different physically and neither have a 'classic' gym body. I learned to stop worrying about that long ago. They are going to have happy days and frustrating days, and they are always wiped after practice and not in a peppy mood and more likely to grunt or be silent. But when I ask them about any moodiness, they both protest they love gym. So I keep it simple, and privately have decided that if they start complaining on anything close to a regular basis about going to gym practice, we are done. Until then, here we stay.

A lot of what you say about the Level 9 and 10 (I'll call them) men are true in our gym. Great physical specimens. A few of them have gone on to get gymnastics scholarships at some very impressive universities.

 

[Hollowarchkick]

I was a good junior gymnast. I progressed through the levels quickly and was stuck at "class 2" for 5 years. There was a rule change and different age requirement rule in place. I broke my hand and didn't get to compete at nationals. Then I started to struggle with growth and injuries. I had two miserable seasons where I went from being at training camps at otc for testing (like future stars) to scoring a 90 at state out of a possible 120. It's safe to say I wasn't in contention for anything big. I was at a very low point and went to regionals with no expectations. I ended up being in 1st after compulsories, which I sucked at. I called my dad to tell him. He was about 13 hours away and was his usual "well good..."
I started day 2 and was doing ok. Then dad walked in about 14 hours after I talked to him. I won regionals and was on regional team again. Dad drove through the night and was still in his greasy work clothes. He saw my last three events and drove back home. He passes away three years ago and I can't believe I think of that so much now. That meet and his sacrifice always drive me. I ended up with a pretty good career and a scholarship.
Things can turn around.

 

[jenjean70]

He just turned 12.. so that is 6 more years to develop and enjoy JO/JD/JE, whatever it ends up being. 6 years is a long time, developmentally. So much good can happen. Personally, I wouldn't take height much into the equation - there are 6+footers in NCAA, and I'm excited to watch tall, beefy Kristian Thomas in his 2nd Olympics representing GB this year.

Perhaps not so gangly, but we did have a late-starter 12 year old go from a "decent but not amazing" level 6 season to a State-medalling 13-14 L9 (mid-pack at Regionals, top 10 on 2 events), now poised to be a 15 year old L10 with a realistic chance of making nationals. With 3 more years of L10 after that, luck and hard work can make even more happen. Who knows.

I look at my son, a 'promising' turning-9 year old, and have no idea of what gangliness awaits. He could turn out to be 5'5 or 6'5 given our family tree. I fully expect he will struggle, lose skills, be frustrated, watch others both quit and surpass him at different times. I'll be happy if he is major-injury-free and sticks with it for the great people, atmosphere, and life lessons. Anything more is lucky icing, but I'm mostly hoping for health, memories, and life lessons.

If your son enjoys gym, so much can happen in 6 years. The boys, the families, the atmosphere in MAG.... all great influencers so far from where I sit...

I needed this thread! My son struggles every year and even though he's good he doesn't catch on as quickly as the top gymnasts in our region....sometimes I get so frustrated. He learns skills and loses them but he says he's not frustrated and he still loves it so I probably need to just back off. Thanks for putting everything in perspective. It might be a tough year and I know he wants to make nationals but I'll just support him.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

So, my DD was picked from pre-school rec class for "hot shots" pre-team and moved to L7 fairly easily, did well there and was truely almost ready to do very well at L8 that spring, then with puberty (at 11), gym and coach changes, vestibular stuff and bullying struggled for a year then moved on from gym...my older DS started gym at almost 11, sat at L5 until testosterone hit, then moved to L7 then L8 but with the changes and his other activities may be done this summer (will know when he gets back from music summer study). The only one who was still sure about gym was my younger son, who at just turned 12 continues to grow too fast and be the one without a natural gymnast body type...He's grown 3 inches in the last 4 months and looks like your classic gawky early adolescent boy...which is new for our family (DD is topping out at 4'10", older boy at 5'5"...younger one already 5' and no signs of testosterone or spurt yet...). He found out he will most likely repeat L6 a third year (reasonable, based upon how many skills he's losing off and on)...and it may be that I'm tired of paying the bills and watching the drama, but I'm wondering if he should move on?

He was a good/promising young L4/L5, learned those skills easily, and has been an average L6 with medals here and there...but he's all angles and "weak" for his size right now....its making him very frustrated and for him that leads to trying less and being too social. His friends are moving forward - they are either older or more natural gymnasts.

Really, I don't care if he is always very average if he's got a chance to continue to move forward and have some personal success/be a good team member, etc...but I do not want a repeat of what DD went through...she was a talented young optional, winning often, good form, potential for college, etc...so I wanted her to push through the hard stuff if possible....not sure he'll ever be more than a pommel/pbar kid, maybe JD for optionals, but that means keeping him emotionally together a few more years before he grows muscles...

Worth it?

he's a boy. we take longer. be patient.

 

[gracyomalley]

Brief update - little guy seems a bit happier, got his moy to support (inconsistent but still) and giants, coach says he's working harder, and other boys also repeating...as long as he's happy more than not, and having a positive attitude at practice more often than not, we're on for another year...

Older boy also back, doing double backs and double fronts on floor, and trying to get his L10 rings skills back...still says "I'll stay if I can get enough skills"...team fees all paid up....hope they have a happy, healthy year