Gymnasts back tuck mental block

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i have recently turned 15 and i’ve been in gymnastics since i was 7 but i haven’t been since i was 11 because i got rejected from a competitive team because i was shy and that really discouraged me.

i can still do most of my skills except the splits and a backhandspring, which is the hardest thing i could do (i can do a backhandspring step out kind of but ive always had poor form on my backhandspring)

i really want to do a backtuck because 1. i want to make it onto a competitive team 2. i just want a party trick and 3. i made a video on wanting to do a backflip and i just got hated on and got a bunch of “skill issue” comments
i don’t know if my very limited gymnastics ability is stopping me

i tried doing a backflip on a trampoline but i got scared of going high and rotating and i fell on my back even though i know what im meant to do (not throw my head back and really putting ur hands into it)

if you have any tips please let me know because i’ve been trying to do a backtuck since i was 9 and nothing rlly is working
 

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