Women Bratty Team Kid...What (If Anything) To Do????

[txgal]

DD's gym has an outstanding acrobatic gymnastics program. DD's older sister (11) is a level 7 on this team. There is a kid on the acro team who will be 10 in August. However, if you walked into the gym and watched her behavior, you'd think she's a really tall 2 year old. She used to be on team with DD10 and switched to acro because, well, she was getting left behind (she never broke the 30 mark in the AA; decided to repeat the level, but she wasn't progressing as her parents and the coach expected, so she switched to acro). They acro girls practice M, W, and Sat. mornings; every day (I'm not kidding here), she has an epic meltdown that reminds me of a kid stuck in their terrible 2s. Acro coach refuses to throw her out of practice because she sees a bit of herself in this kid (her coach used to throw her out or make her run, and that has left a bad taste in her mouth, thus making her incapable of inflicting the same punishment). DD11 has said as much as she loves acro, loves her trio girls, and loves the coach, this other kid is just sucking the joy out of the sport. For me, as a parent, I think it makes the gym look bad when one of your kids is constantly throwing temper tantrums because she doesn't get her way. I've spoken with the acro coach about it, but I have not brought it to HC's attention...yet. Is there anything that can be done, other than pulling rank on the acro coach? I don't want to stir a hornet's nest or cause bad blood or hurt feelings, but, honestly, something needs to be done. (For the record, DD11 is not the only one who has complained. I routinely check her phone and she will sometimes leave her messages up and I've seen her partners complaining about this as well; AND the tyrant's partner has expressed her concern that the little tyrant is holding her back (though probably not in those words)...she hasn't asked for a new partner as we're in the middle of comp season, but I fear if she does ask for a new partner after States on June 1st, things will get much, much worse). Any advice?

 

[Aussie_coach]

You as a parent are well within your rights to say something. I would doubt that any mature coach would hold your complaints against your child.

Just the way you said it here is great " she loves acro but this girl is sucking the joy out of it". The coach may just see this as a problem the coach has to deal with and may not realise that it is having a dramatic affect on the rest of the team.

She doesn't need to be kicked out of the gym or made to run in order to discipline her. I personally think both of those punishments are very negative. Kicking her out does not teach her to calm down, refocus and get over it. And making her run is making conditioning and running a punishment and we don't want kids to associate conditioning and running with negative things.

I personally would sit her in time out until she calms down and apologises to whoever was affected by the tantrum. This will work far better than sending her home, because for a child of this age to have this problem it means her parents are not dealing with it.

 

[Becauseisaid]

You as a parent are well within your rights to say something. I would doubt that any mature coach would hold your complaints against your child.

I personally would sit her in time out until she calms down and apologises to whoever was affected by the tantrum. This will work far better than sending her home, because for a child of this age to have this problem it means her parents are not dealing with it.

^^^Yeah. That.

The other option is to train your DD and her teammates to react to tantrums with a calm "No." and then turn and walk away refusing to work with or be near the girl throwing the tantrum until she calms down. Kids are rarely told that they are allowed to tell an adult that they do not want to participate in a bad situation. Yet it IS perfectly acceptable as long as they are being respectful and not refusing to work at all.

 

[txgal]

UPDATE: Talked to acro coach and kept it at 'this other kid's behavior is sucking the joy of the sport out of my daughter'...got absolutely nowhere. She said to be patient, she's working with the kid to address the behavior issues, and they'll be going away soon. Yeah, right. And I'm going to win the PowerBall Tuesday. The coach does not have kids of her own, so her experience is limited to what takes place in the gym. She also said she was the bratty team kid and refuses to treat this kid the way she was treated. Very disappointed on my end that I could not get her to understand how miserable DD is. After season is over, DD and her teammates will be looking into other sports/gyms because they've had enough of this other kid. Perhaps that will snap coach out of her daydream...unfortunately, it will be too late as she will be left with only one acro kid.

 

[hawaii_gymnast]

Unfortunately it doesn't seem like it is going to get better. However, don't blame it on her not having kids, I know plenty of coaches who are great with the kids who don't have kids of their own.
Try talking to the HC if you are getting no where with her coach. If not you can see if you can change classes. If not are any other acro gyms near you, you could see if your daughter could go try it with one or two of her friends and see if its better. Hope you can find a way for your DD to enjoy the sport again.

 

[sce]

Before leaving his gym, talk with the head coach. Let them know that you are considering leaving. That you appreciate the coach wanting to work with the child, but not to the detriment of the other athletes.