Parents Child not understanding corrections

[Deleted member 18037]

I do feel it is appropriate for me as the parent to step in and speak with the coach or teacher. The learning style issue, which I didn't think of at first, is the type of thing I will bring up with a coach or teacher if necessary, but in this case I don't think it can hurt to wait a couple of weeks to see how things go with the new coaches. But that doesn't mean it's not appropriate also to encourage her to make an effort to improve communication on her end.

It takes quite a bit of time to see improvement in gymnastics.

If you feel there is a problem with how corrections are being given or given in such a way your child is not getting it. Talk with the coaches sooner rather then later. But it is a discussion for the grown ups to have and then perhaps have the child join, when both grown up are clear on how things are supposed to go.

I too have a soon to be 4th grader, who is excellent at taking and applying critiscism. Explaining it to me, especially regarding gymnastics where I don't speak the language of gymnastics not so much.

Especially given the statement, "She will get mad at me if I ask a question." If my kid told me a teacher or coach said that. I would be having a conversation.

I don't have a wealth of experiences with coaches. My girl currently has 4, plus the three previous. None of them would of just said that a skill has to better without offering some information on how to do that.

I was watching her do kip with coach one time. I heard lots of conversation to far away for specifics. Hmm what were you and coach talking about. She says oh he was grading our kips. Me, "oh really what did you get". Her, " A 7.5". Me, "Why". Her, "Mom, it wasn't very good". Now I am sure her and coach had a more specific conversation. And she knows I probably won't get the fine points. So it wasn't very good was all I was going to get.

My soon to 4th grader. My comment after a meet 1st AA. not so hot vault but we couldn't see based on our seats. Me; "Wow, great meet. We couldn't see the vault, wasn't your usual, what happened?" Her, "I don't know"

Next meet same results, including a not her usual vault. All I got was my bun was in the way. It was all she was capable of by way of explanation. The first meet it happened at the coach didn't quite catch it. Because it is unusual for her to be "off". Next meet coach was in "hyper" watch mode. They drilled and fixed it.

And as far as coaching goes. They will be correcting them and offering constructive information forever. That is why they are coaches.

My daughter got a 9.8 on her beam/floor this year.

As a parent I say that was a great job, you did awesome. That was the prettiest I have ever seen you do.

Her coach says you did good (a rave from him), but your foot should of been flexed more on the hand stand. Your releve should of been xyz. Your legs need to be closer on your BHS.



They will never be done giving feedback.

 

[mommyof1]

Especially given the statement, "She will get mad at me if I ask a question." If my kid told me a teacher or coach said that. I would be having a conversation.

My kid happens to believe that all teachers and coaches will get mad at her for asking questions. This may result partly from some negative coaching she experienced a couple of years ago. At any rate, coming from my child that statement does not automatically raise a red flag because she has said that about every single teacher and coach she has ever had.

I don't have a wealth of experiences with coaches. My girl currently has 4, plus the three previous. None of them would of just said that a skill has to better without offering some information on how to do that.

Yes, this is why I think she needs to ask for clarification. I am 100% sure that the coach is giving her specific corrections but she is just not absorbing them.

When I talk with my daughter about taking corrections, I am speaking from personal experience. I wasn't a competitive gymnast, but in my life I have had literally thousands of hours of experience receiving and applying corrections and feedback in a variety of settings. I know exactly what it is like to have someone tell you to straighten your leg when you feel like it's already as straight as it can possibly get.

And as far as coaching goes. They will be correcting them and offering constructive information forever. That is why they are coaches.

...

They will never be done giving feedback.

Right again--which is why I would like to see my daughter figure out how to understand and use all of those corrections to her advantage.

 

[rjb123]

I'm not sure if there is a language barrier, but that would be a reason to help the communication IMO. DD struggled with understanding what her coaches wanted at first, and her shyness really caused her even more issues as she never opened her mouth- she just nodded or shook her head at her coaches. The coaches were frustrated, DD was terrified and so I intervened (she was 6 at the time) I explained to them that DD didn't understand their accent and was painfully shy. They worked more with her in showing her physically what they wanted. Over time DD came out of her she'll and began to trust them more and more. She was able to speak up, ask questions and really Implement the corrections. Now at 9, 99.99 percent of communication is directly between DD and her coaches. IMO building that trust of coach/athlete may need a nudge from mom at the start, but after it is moving in the right direction, it's all them I just ask if she had a good day and that's it! Perfect!!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

The coaches were frustrated, DD was terrified and so I intervened (she was 6 at the time) I explained to them that DD didn't understand their accent and was painfully shy. They worked more with her in showing her physically what they wanted. Over time DD came out of her she'll and began to trust them more and more. She was able to speak up, ask questions and really Implement the corrections. Now at 9, 99.99 percent of communication is directly between DD and her coaches. IMO building that trust of coach/athlete may need a nudge from mom at the start, but after it is moving in the right direction, it's all them I just ask if she had a good day and that's it! Perfect!!

Exactly and it started with a conversation with the coaches.

 

[duyetanh]

A lot of this depends on what you know about your daughter's relationship with the coaches, and your relationship with your child. If you talk about practice like this regularly, then I guess it is the norm. I personally wouldnt worry, as kids go through phases, especially at that age, and feel nothing they do is right. This is also the age they start really comparing themselves to othera. I would not get that involved talking with my kid after practice because that imho is the worst time to talk about it...unless she has accomplished something major (and believe me if she did I would know as she would be very verbal in telling me), I just say how was practice, was it fun, and leave it at that. When she goes to bed she has to tell me something good about her day and something she needs to work on...this thing may or may not be related to a sport...for instance, one night it was that she needed to work on being patient. Sorry for the tangent, but what I was getting to was that at the end of practice the kids are fried. Hence every emotion and reaction is intensified. It's just not the best time to talk shop. Another example for you...when my husband has a rough day and I can tell, I do not ask him to tell me about work...I wait until he has a glass of wine (lol) and has been home a few hours and then he will usually talk about stuff if he feels like it. If I have had a rough day, the best time for me to talk about it is NOT right after I have left my job. I need time to defuse and get my reality check, or rehash the day. Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.....

 

[LJL07]

Sorry for the tangent, but what I was getting to was that at the end of practice the kids are fried. Hence every emotion and reaction is intensified. It's just not the best time to talk shop.

Oh, yes! My dd is doing a lot of hours this summer. The first week I asked her "how was your day?" as soon as we got in the car. She did NOT like that. Too worn out. After she has eaten and had some time to decompress, then she likes to talk.