Parents Commuting to gymnastics

[duyetanh]

Being a teacher with any sport. Being a single mom teacher with a child in a sport where you might not even know what day your son competes until 2 weeks before (or less, it happens!!!) is truly insane. I would at least wait until you move before you fully embrace this team idea, so your children, your students/job, and you yourself don't struggle.
Just my 2 cents. From one educator to another...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

2 kids. One potentially spending a lot of time in the gym. Add in commute time. school and sleep. Leaving 2 kid in gym and commuting when not necessary.

5 days of home work in car (or gym) , not a good enviroment, especially when the work gets harder.

Move or find something else for them/him to do.

Not sure why it has to be gymnastics. You gave a lot of information but did not once mention him loving it.

 

[duyetanh]

Timed out b4 I could edit...what I wanted to say was being a teacher with any sport is hard, but being a single mom with all that you have going on? I think of all I have to do as an educator....I could NEVER pull it off. And I have been teaching for years and have a DH. Wow.

 

[needcoffee]

Honestly, if it were me, I'd ditch the gymnastics. That commute is a bit ridiculous and it will very soon wear thin. Also, did I read right, that your 6yo and 3yo will have to have a 10pm bedtime on school nights?? I'm sorry, that's ludicrous, and quite frankly a bit mean.

You have a steady, stable job. You own a home. Are you actually willing to uproot your whole lives for a 6yo on pre team, who may or may not decide in 6 months time that he doesn't like gymnastics anymore? (6yos are fickle like that).

 

[OzZee]

I have to say I'd say no to gymnastics.
But are there other local options for either child to do sports/activities?
If no then do you think that is important (I expect so) and a move to the city is necessary?
Yes you've bought a house but is this where you want to live?

If you are happy to do the same commute for 6-12 months then go for it (though not sure how the bedtime works) and see if your kid likes gym after that time. But think of what you want for yourself and your kids in the future.

 

[cbifoja]

Timed out b4 I could edit...what I wanted to say was being a teacher with any sport is hard, but being a single mom with all that you have going on? I think of all I have to do as an educator....I could NEVER pull it off. And I have been teaching for years and have a DH. Wow.

I'm a single mom and a teacher. I get it all done but am fortunate to have a strong support system. OP doesn't mention if that's the case or not. OP, just to give you an idea of what you might be up against....

I leave the house at 7:15 to drive 30 minutes to drop DD off at school and get to my school in time for morning duty.

I practically chase my kids out of my room at the end of the day to try to beat dismissal traffic so I can get an early spot in line at DD's school. Except on the days that I have staff meetings (twice a month) or SBDM meeting (once a month). On those days, my parents have been willing to chip in and do the driving. I could NOT make it happen without them.

I drive her an additional 30 minutes to the gym, where she is typically 45 minutes late because practice starts before she is even dismissed from school.

I sit at the gym during practice, grading papers, or doing my graduate work because I am also getting my masters right now.

She has to stay 30 minutes after training to make up for the conditioning she missed by being late. This means we don't even leave the gym until 9 at the earliest.

She eats in the car during our one hour commute back home and frequently falls asleep. We get home around 10PM.

And I've only been willing to do this because she is a Level 8 gymnast who is pretty committed and has ambitions of being a college gymnast. I can't say that I would have been willing to head down the gymnastics road if this was my life way back when.

 

[strawberries]

A few things...
It seems pretty clear that a move would be necessary eventually if you and your son decide gymnastics is going to be in the long-term plan, but there doesn't seem to be any rush, as it sounds like you are handling things well now with 2 days a week. I have no problem with the bedtime issue, as they are falling asleep in the car...as long as you don't mind carrying two heavy sleepers into the house in the dead of night

I would take a bit of time to decide, look for a house and a job, also to be sure your son really has the gymnastics bug, and that he loves the pre-team environment as much as the rec, as they can be quite different.

Also, consider if you love where you are for other reasons, or is it a random location? The fact that you just moved might be a positive in that you don't have deep roots there yet.

And the big one, how close will you be to you family if you move? Close enough that they could help with driving, babysitting during meets, etc. I'm a huge proponent of being near family for a lot of other more important reasons, but from a pure logistical standpoint, family makes all the difference in the world.

 

[strawberries]

And to answer your actual questions....l

"How long do kids usually stay with 2-3 day classes before moving to 5 + days of practice?"

Practice times usually switch after the competition season is over (usually spring, depending on your region), and remain the same until the following year.

"Should I ask the team coach more about what his plans are for my son's group?"

YES! Let him know what you are considering. He will have at least a rough idea of his typical long-range plan, and what days/hours that is likely to entail.

Do you think I should start looking for another job in the city of gymnastics or ride this out by continuing to drive for awhile?

I just re-read that you need to have your job sorted out by June. It might not hurt to look around to see if something amazing pops up.

I have a 3 year old daughter also. How can I do my best to make it a good experience for her?

Plan something special for her away from the gym. A stack of books or a board game to play at a local library, find a track to walk or any intentional together time. Try to get out of the gym though, or at the very least go where you aren't watching.

 

[roses25]

Thanks for all the tips everyone. Yes, the gym has a nice waiting/watching area where is room to run around or play. He loves gymnastics. There aren't really any other sports around here. There's volleyball in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track in the spring once they get older. Other than that there's a few sport activities (whiffle ball, indoor soccer, etc.) organized throughout the school year that kids can do for about 4 weeks long. He's done several of them in the past few years, but most of the time he turns those down and has no interest in them.

No, my kids would not have a 10 PM bedtime on gymnastics. They always fall asleep on the drive home, so currently they fall asleep by 7:30 (earlier than non-gymnastic days). Team practices from 5:30-8:30, so I would imagine both would fall asleep shortly after getting in the car to head home. My 6 year is light weight so I can still carry him into the house if needed, but he walks in with my help and falls right back to sleep. My 3 year old is also tiny and I always carry her right in and she stays asleep.

I'm a single mom by choice to both of my kids, so I'm used to being the only parent. I have no trouble with getting my teaching duties/paper work done. I use my planning times well at school, and very rarely take work home to do. One educator once told me that most things can wait until tomorrow if you don't get them done today, and I totally agree that most of my paper work can wait until tomorrow because I start early enough on it where I have plenty of time to complete it during planning time normally.

We've lived in this town for 6 years, but didn't buy a house until last year. But, no we don't have deep roots here yet. My son would actually like to move because there's nothing to do here in a town of 1200 people. He likes the city that gymnastics is in because there's indoor swimming pools, movie theatres, fun parks/pools, bounce house place, stores, bowling, etc. We go there a lot for entertainment. Our closest WalMart is an hour away.

Moving would not put us close enough to family for help with babysitting during meets and driving. By moving my daughter could attend preschool for sure (we only have head start preschool here and we are above income requirements so she would have to get into one of the two spots that's available for any kids that don't meet the requirements and that requires a lot of luck. There would be more childcare options than we have here also.

I think I'm going to start watching for possible job openings near gymnastics. But if nothing looks good, I'll wait and approach it in a year from this spring. I think the move to a more happening place would be a good move for us. We like to get out and do things as a family, such as going swimming, bowling, museums, etc. and I'd love to belong to a gym that has childcare! Moving into a small town like this can be difficult because most people have lived here since their childhood, and I've found out they all have their friend groups that they've had for years and years and aren't very open to inviting you to join in on their groups.

 

[raenndrops]

Thanks for all the tips everyone. Yes, the gym has a nice waiting/watching area where is room to run around or play. He loves gymnastics. There aren't really any other sports around here. There's volleyball in the fall, basketball in the winter, and track in the spring once they get older. Other than that there's a few sport activities (whiffle ball, indoor soccer, etc.) organized throughout the school year that kids can do for about 4 weeks long. He's done several of them in the past few years, but most of the time he turns those down and has no interest in them.

No, my kids would not have a 10 PM bedtime on gymnastics. They always fall asleep on the drive home, so currently they fall asleep by 7:30 (earlier than non-gymnastic days). Team practices from 5:30-8:30, so I would imagine both would fall asleep shortly after getting in the car to head home. My 6 year is light weight so I can still carry him into the house if needed, but he walks in with my help and falls right back to sleep. My 3 year old is also tiny and I always carry her right in and she stays asleep.

I'm a single mom by choice to both of my kids, so I'm used to being the only parent. I have no trouble with getting my teaching duties/paper work done. I use my planning times well at school, and very rarely take work home to do. One educator once told me that most things can wait until tomorrow if you don't get them done today, and I totally agree that most of my paper work can wait until tomorrow because I start early enough on it where I have plenty of time to complete it during planning time normally.

We've lived in this town for 6 years, but didn't buy a house until last year. But, no we don't have deep roots here yet. My son would actually like to move because there's nothing to do here in a town of 1200 people. He likes the city that gymnastics is in because there's indoor swimming pools, movie theatres, fun parks/pools, bounce house place, stores, bowling, etc. We go there a lot for entertainment. Our closest WalMart is an hour away.

Moving would not put us close enough to family for help with babysitting during meets and driving. By moving my daughter could attend preschool for sure (we only have head start preschool here and we are above income requirements so she would have to get into one of the two spots that's available for any kids that don't meet the requirements and that requires a lot of luck. There would be more childcare options than we have here also.

I think I'm going to start watching for possible job openings near gymnastics. But if nothing looks good, I'll wait and approach it in a year from this spring. I think the move to a more happening place would be a good move for us. We like to get out and do things as a family, such as going swimming, bowling, museums, etc. and I'd love to belong to a gym that has childcare! Moving into a small town like this can be difficult because most people have lived here since their childhood, and I've found out they all have their friend groups that they've had for years and years and aren't very open to inviting you to join in on their groups.

Good… To sum it up for everyone… You wouldn't be moving FOR a 6 year old barely pre-team gymnast (THAT would be CGM tendency there). You would be moving for numerous non-gym related reasons… and being closer to gym is just a bonus (and it HAPPENS to be in a location your family already loves).
Good luck!

 

[trampolinemom]

It sounds like you have plenty of reasons to move and not just gymnastics. So yes keep your eyes open for job openings and see what will come along. Good luck!

 

[Faith]

We've lived in this town for 6 years, but didn't buy a house until last year. But, no we don't have deep roots here yet. My son would actually like to move because there's nothing to do here in a town of 1200 people. He likes the city that gymnastics is in because there's indoor swimming pools, movie theatres, fun parks/pools, bounce house place, stores, bowling, etc. We go there a lot for entertainment. Our closest WalMart is an hour away.

I moved rurally age 11 and I totally agree with your son. My mum was also a lone parent, and i think she thought it'd be a better lifestyle. In reality it was fields, sheep, long commutes everywhere, no hobbies or activities unless it was horse related, and having to get my mum to drive me if i wanted to go out.

I moved to a city at 18. My kids can walk to school, do pretty much any sport or hobby they choose, we can get buses, trains if we cant drive for any reason. Older dd is 12 and has started getting the train to and from practice herself.

Drugs and alcohol are a much bigger problem in rural children, theres nothing else to do!

 

[cbifoja]

No, my kids would not have a 10 PM bedtime on gymnastics. They always fall asleep on the drive home, so currently they fall asleep by 7:30 (earlier than non-gymnastic days). Team practices from 5:30-8:30, so I would imagine both would fall asleep shortly after getting in the car to head home. My 6 year is light weight so I can still carry him into the house if needed, but he walks in with my help and falls right back to sleep. My 3 year old is also tiny and I always carry her right in and she stays asleep.

I was just trying to give you a picture of what your future might hold. At pre-team no, my daughter didn't have a 10PM bedtime either. But now that practice goes later, and she has to eventually eat dinner, even if it's in the car, then unfortunately that makes for a late bedtime. And yes, you can carry your kids in now, but what about in 5 years? I thought you were wanting advice about future and what if your child stays in the gym long term. Sorry if I misunderstood. Good luck with your decision.

 

[duyetanh]

Based on everything you have said, I can see why a move is in order. It will also open up a whole new world, so to speak, for your family. As a previous poster wrote, just as long as gym isn't the only reason for the move, it could be a very good thing...there is a real chance your child will want to do other sports or activities once you are there, and as long as you are OK with that (he is still very young as you know) it could be a good opportunity. I am sure you would never resent your son if you moved and a year later he wanted to do swim team, for example. Good luck to you.

 

[MILgymFAM]

We are a family that- at least on the surface- moved for low level gymnastics. Last year we moved closer to both of my girls' gyms. It changed our day-to-day lives for the better in so many ways. People didn't understand why I would move for gym when my girls were only levels 4 and xcel gold (now training 7/6), but really it was only for gym if you weren't thinking deeper. We moved for quality of life. I was spending way too much time in my car and in waiting areas. We were eating too many meals on the move. We were rushing too much and too stressed out. It would be easy to say that we should just encourage the girls to find another sport, but my kids LOVE what they do. After moving, they do even more gym and yet we have more free time, we eat meals at home, and my car time is cut down significantly. Our new house isn't as new and shiny, or as big, but it's just what we needed at the time. We are military, so a support network of family isn't in the cards for us regardless, but the ability to be closer to one (regardless of gym) seems a good enough reason to move all by itself. I would start looking for a new job and check out the rental markets in your current town and perspective town. Best of luck.

 

[momto2js]

I also had a talented 6 year old. For boys, I'm not sure I'd start that young again. For my son 10pm would not have been an option at that age regardless of how long the drive was. It is a sport. That's all. To consider a move, you had better have more reasons than that one, because it is likely he will do team gymnastics for a year or two and then decide it is not for him. Good luck!!