Women Competing injured?

[Jumpygymnast]

Yesterday was my last practice before my state meet. In the morning on beam, I landed odd and it hurt my foot a little. I thought nothing of it, and thought it just hurt in the moment. But, when we went to vault, I tried to run but 3 steps in it hurt so much I collapsed. My coach thinks I'm faking it and told me I absolutely had to compete, and of course I WANT TO COMPETE! What upsets me is that I went to the doctor after practice, and she said it was sprained, and my parents said NO competition. I was more upset because my coach was going to kill me, so I told my dad to call him. He pretends to be an angel and says that if it hurts I shouldn't compete, health comes first, etc., and that we should text him today to see how I feel. I don't know what to do, because I can barely walk, but I really want to compete, and I feel like I NEED to, because this coach is insane. He is screaming at me for lying to him at practice (which I didn't), and telling me there is nothing wrong with my foot (which there is), and that he will force me to tumble(Which he didn't, because the floor coach refused.) while I'm on the floor crying in pain. But then he says "Health first, don't compete injured, etc." on the phone with my dad. I feel like if I don't compete, he'll kill me at practice, but I feel like I physically can't. I don't even know what I'm asking, but I just need help.

 

[fuzi]

It sounds like you need to find a new gym and a new coach.

 

[Jumpygymnast]

It sounds like you need to find a new gym and a new coach.

My family and I have actually been considering this for a while, because this coach shows extreme favoritism, and I am in the homeschool program. This means that ALL DAY, I am being constantly degraded and/or ignored by the head coach. But I really wanted to compete states, so I could prove myself to that coach, and most importantly, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do well, even with a horrible coach. If I just don't compete and leave, it'll seem like I'm a coward. I know, it sounds really dumb and I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I do. Plus, he is so manipulating, that he will probably make all the girls and their families cut all contact with me. I will leave anyways, but it's just a super messy situation that I just want to be out of, but also, I WANT TO COMPETE! Which sucks, because I can't even walk.

 

[Jard.the.gymnast]

Yes, your Health, mentally and physically, should come first no matter what. There Will be another competition, another state meet. It just isnt worth it

 

[Greatlakesmom]

I am sorry that you’re having to deal with this right before your state meet. I can only imagine how disappointing it is to be injured the day before you are supposed to compete. It does not sound like you should compete if you can hardly walk. You may only injure it more. Sounds like you should sit this one out. And I agree with the previous poster, sounds like you should find a new gym that is a healthier and more supportive environment.

 

[Flipfloppy]

But I really wanted to compete states, so I could prove myself to that coach, and most importantly, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do well, even with a horrible coach. If I just don't compete and leave, it'll seem like I'm a coward.

I spent years in an abusive coaching situations for similar reasons: I wanted to prove to him and to myself that I wasn't a coward. It took me years to realize: it takes more courage to walk away than it does to walk into that gym again. Competing on an injury to prove a manipulative coach "wrong" isn't courageous; it's dangerous, and it's not proving him wrong. Spoiler alert: nothing will prove a coach like this "wrong" - he'll never be "wrong." He'll gaslight you, change the goalposts or the story or the goals, but he will never be wrong. If you go in and compete States well on an injury, he'll say, "See, I knew you were faking that injury." Prove to yourself that you have the ability to seek better for yourself; that you have enough respect for yourself to not allow this man (or anyone else!) to treat you this way; that you trust your own assessment of your health/injuries. Gymnastics teaches life lessons, and unfortunately, freeing yourself from a toxic person is a life lesson that you'll use many times in your life.

I'm sorry about the timing of your injury; it's a bummer to miss States. But don't think you're a coward for walking away from him and finding a healthier situation for yourself: it takes so much courage.

Be brave.

 

[rjb123]

I always say that this sport is about life lessons. The life lesson in this situation is that gymnastics is not worth your future health. Period. Walk away from this gym. Run away for that matter. You deserve better. Period.

 

[raenndrops]

My family and I have actually been considering this for a while, because this coach shows extreme favoritism, and I am in the homeschool program. This means that ALL DAY, I am being constantly degraded and/or ignored by the head coach. But I really wanted to compete states, so I could prove myself to that coach, and most importantly, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do well, even with a horrible coach. If I just don't compete and leave, it'll seem like I'm a coward. I know, it sounds really dumb and I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I do. Plus, he is so manipulating, that he will probably make all the girls and their families cut all contact with me. I will leave anyways, but it's just a super messy situation that I just want to be out of, but also, I WANT TO COMPETE! Which sucks, because I can't even walk.

Don't compete. Find a new gym. It's not worth it.
We had a girl that chose to compete at a big meet because she didn't want to miss it. Her doctor said it was up to her, but let pain be her guide. She competed. That was at the end of June. She had surgery to repair the problem in early July. She medically retired from gymnastics in mid-October
You, however have been told you should NOT compete. You can barely walk. Your routines would not be your best and you could injure yourself permanently.

 

[Flippin'A]

Just to add to the good advice you've gotten so far-- please be honest with your parents about what's going on. Tell them that your coach is a different person to them than he is to you and ask them to help you find a better situation. When I was young I had a very similar coach and the number of things I pushed myself to do just to prove something to him make me cringe. Well I can tell you that pushing through injuries without taking the time they needed to heal has left me with quite a few lingering aches and pains that are never going away. You have to live in this body for a very long time, your coach doesn't. Take care of your body, and don't let this coach pull your strings. He doesn't deserve to have power over you.

 

[profmom]

What level are you and why is the coach putting this kind of pressure on you to compete? It seems strange for a coach to be super invested in an athlete competing at states if there is nothing more at stake.

 

[Scream4IceCream]

I'm sorry you're dealing with an injury right before state as well as a difficult coaching situation. That must be so frustrating! You've gotten lots of great advice above, but I wanted to add one thing. Your profile picture appears to reveal your identity, which makes it easy to find out what gym you attend and who your coaches are. While it's an amazing picture, it could put you at risk especially when you're discussing a sensitive situation in an open forum. For your own safety, please consider changing it.

 

[John]

I understand your feelings and support them. I think you should leave this coach and find another coach, one who values you as a gymnast and a person. You can still prove to your current coach that he was wrong by training hard and improving. He sounds like the type of person who will never admit he was wrong so do not expect him to approach you When he sees you compete at your new gym and you do fabulous you will make your point.

 

[Jumpygymnast]

I'm sorry you're dealing with an injury right before state as well as a difficult coaching situation. That must be so frustrating! You've gotten lots of great advice above, but I wanted to add one thing. Your profile picture appears to reveal your identity, which makes it easy to find out what gym you attend and who your coaches are. While it's an amazing picture, it could put you at risk especially when you're discussing a sensitive situation in an open forum. For your own safety, please consider changing it.

That is not my full last name, the coach pictured no longer works there, and the warm ups are very, very different now, but you have a point. I’ll change it. Thanks!

 

[Jumpygymnast]

Thank you everyone for your responses! I highly appreciate it! I am leaving the gym very soon.

 

[Madden3]

What you are describing* is abuse and could be reported to Safe Sport. One can report anonymously if wanted. Reporters do not need to prove anything, but it is helpful if you can be as specific as you can about what has happened (times, dates, etc.) Reporting simply alerts the designated appropriate organization that a situation may need further scrutiny.

And yes, it is possible you should leave this gym program entirely if this is the head coach as well as your regular coach, and there is no escaping their influence while remaining.

*Abuse:
*Pressuring athlete to compete or practice when injured
*Emotional abuse (screaming/raging, instilling fear, accusations of lying, shaming, controlling by using a praising/ignoring pattern... I do not know what your parents let you see online so I am not going to offer links, but I suggest that with your mom or dad look up articles on "types of emotional abuse" or using similar search terms. Please look only at articles from reliable sources. Such articles tend to focus on domestic relationships, but the info is relevant for any interpersonal relationship.

What you describe in your posts above is not a normal coach/athlete relationship. This is not what should happen in any sport at any level.

Also, not that this is a priority, but, if you are injured- and according to the doctor, you are- and this injury causes you to miss States, if relevant for you, isn't there a way to petition to Regionals?

If things are being complicated because by "homeschool program" you mean you take classes at the gym and cannot simply keep homeschooling but NOT at the gym, then you might need to look into how independent study works in your state/school district so you avoid a record of truancy while figuring out your next steps.

You should not be doing this alone. It sounds like your parents understand there is a problem. Do not be afraid to burden them with all your concerns, tell them everything. Protecting you from harm is their number one job and they need to know everything in order to do this effectively. Do not protect them and do not blame yourself. None of this is your fault.

You want to compete, but you are injured. So you cannot compete anyway until you are healed, and in fact probably should not be practicing either for at least a few days. Leaving the gym or not leaving will not change that reality.

You want to prove you are not a coward? I get it. Please know that it takes an enormous amount of courage to leave an abusive situation.

Edit: just saw your last post after posting. Good.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

That is not my full last name, the coach pictured no longer works there, and the warm ups are very, very different now, but you have a point. I’ll change it. Thanks!

I found you on MyMeetScores in 3 seconds, which gave me your full name and gym name and location. I am just a boring mom of a gymnast, but creepers exist. (Chalkbucket also has thousands of lurkers, and it is not uncommon to find someone recognized you and brought your post to the attention of your coach or gym owner, which can get ugly, unfortunately.) I'm glad you changed it. I'm also glad you're leaving the gym soon. My daughter was in a very negative gym environment for a while and it is Just Not Worth It. Good luck!!

 

[Jumpygymnast]

I found you on MyMeetScores in 3 seconds, which gave me your full name and gym name and location. I am just a boring mom of a gymnast, but creepers exist. (Chalkbucket also has thousands of lurkers, and it is not uncommon to find someone recognized you and brought your post to the attention of your coach or gym owner, which can get ugly, unfortunately.) I'm glad you changed it. I'm also glad you're leaving the gym soon. My daughter was in a very negative gym environment for a while and it is Just Not Worth It. Good luck!!

Oh gosh!! I didn’t think it would be that easy (or possible, for that matter). I’m glad I changed it!

 

[raenndrops]

Oh gosh!! I didn’t think it would be that easy (or possible, for that matter). I’m glad I changed it!

Yep, I had found it too and very quickly. Happy you changed it.

 

[duyetanh]

Yep, I had found it too and very quickly. Happy you changed it.

Well if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t know how to find you.

 

[Jumpygymnast]

Well if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t know how to find you.

Good!