Parents Competition?

[GymTwinsMom]

Has anyone's DD had competition with another sibiling in gymnastics? Or cousin, friend? My girls are both on level 5 and HATE it when 1 starts a new skill or gets it faster then the other. Yesterday, Leah started working on backtuck drills and Lexi came home crying because she wanted to do them too. Or when can hold a handstand longer (usually Lexi) Leah will pick a fight with her or ignore her. Please help!

 

[DynamicMom]

I totally understand your issue! My dd is only about to be five and my best friends dd is also going to be five. They are constantly in competition! They used to go to the same gym but I took dd out and sent her someplace new. Mostly because of the coach but also because the kids could not control themselves together...they are forever talking, just like there moms! However, the are always at home seeing who can do what better than the other. My dd is stronger on the floor, but my best friends dd is stronger on bars. Everyday they compete, and if one can do something the other ignores it completely. My best friend and I are constantly telling them that they will never be in competition against each other even when the gyms compete. We try to explain that they are best friends and need to encourage each other and try to lead by example. We make sure that we always attend things for the other at their gym, to show our encouragement. I am hoping it will get better as they get older, however sometimes I fear them being at different gyms that do compete against each other will make this a hard lesson to learn.

 

[Livinatthegym]

Yep. Since dd2 skipped lvl 5 (competed one meet and moved up), she and dd1 were both 6s for one season. Last year, although not the same lvl, they worked out together on the optional team. I used to ask the coach never to put them as partners for any drills. My favorite used to be when they'd tell what the other was "thinking." Yeah, like you know.

I know it's as annoying as all get out, and if it isn't over gym skills, it's over who ate the last of the breakfast cereal, who got the "end piece" of the banana bread, who's in whose spot on the couch, who changed the channel, who sings better . . .

I can't help you because I never got mine to stop fighting. One of the things that compels them to excell in sport is quite a bit of inborn competativeness. I'm surprised, though, at how often, if I lay low, the fights work themselves out. Even if one marches off to her room, by the time she comes out, things seem to have blown over--or at least they move on to a new battle. If one wants to "talk" at bedtime or something, I just give them sympathy. They seem ok with that.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Not yet, but someday will likely be together. However, they are together during strength and conditioning and the whole handstand thing is a big sore point!

 

[Blackie6]

My DD and her cousin are on the team together. They've been together now since pre-team (over 2 yrs) and are very competative. When they were 5 & 6 they would fight about who was going first & where they were in line and who learned a skill fast or who did it better. Most of the time they would have a "tiff" and then minutes later not even remember what the argument was about. Most of the time they love each other and want to be with each other all the time. There was a period of time when my DD was out sick for 2 weeks and then cuz was out for almost 2 months sick and they had to get used to each other working together. But 90% of the time theya re glad to have each other and if cuz wasn't with her she would be devastated. I am scared for when the time comes that if they advance and one gets left behind it would be difficult. At the meets they generally score about the same, one time cuz will score higher and the next DD will but it doesn't matter to them yet.

There was a sister team last year with us (L4) and at one meet they actually started fighting that progressed into a kicking match! They are together in L5 again this yr but I think eventually the older of the two may move up first.

I think sometimes the competition between sisters is fine...you have it in everything else so why not gymnastics too! I am sure though that if the time comes when they get seperated they may miss each other more than they would admit. Something nice about having your "family" with you in good times and in bad!

 

[midwestgymmom]

I have twin boys but they arent in gymnastics (my dd is) but I know if they were it would get pretty ugly. It was bad enough when they were both in wrestling and one would win and the other wouldnt. Of course my twins are so competitive I used to have to measure the juice in their glasses so one didnt get jipped. That would have been the end of the world

Twins in sports is not all fun and games, especially for the mom in between them. :hug:

 

[GymTwinsMom]

Wow! Thank you everyone for giving me these comments. Blackie6- You are right about 1 missing the other. Just a couple of days ago Alexis was sick and Leah had the worst time at the gym. midwestgymmom- I was cracking up at the fact you measured their juice cups!!:laughing: Just goes to show you how competitive kids can be!

 

[mariposa]

My DDs best friend is also a gymnast, though she is a year younger and much more talented than my DD. They used to be in the same gym and it was hard for my DD as she was comparing herself to her friend all the time and it made her more mad because she is older than her.

Now they are at separate gyms and it helps a lot. DD never compares herself to other girls at her gym that are friends, just her best friend. I have explained to her over and over that they are different and their skills are different.

I can only imagine how hard it would be for twins to be in the same sport. Good luck to you and them!

 

[kristilyn73]

I dont envy you and those arguments.

I have 2 Daughters one age 12 the other age 10. The 12 year old is the gymnast. 10 year old is a competative dancer. For a while they were both in gymanstics and dance.

It is SO Hard when one stuggles for a skill that the other one gets easily. You want to be happy and praise the Daughter that got the skill, at the same time you see your daughter heartbroken that she didnt get the skill. You have to help mend that heart, too.

I think it is only natural for sisters to fight.. or siblings to fight... my daughters fight over everything.. everything the other posters said.. and a few new ones. I had to break up a fight once in the car... DD1 looked out DD2's Window .. that was a jolly one!

The best advice I can give you is to make sure the girls know they are different and they excel at different things. Then encourage them to support the other with those skills. If twin1 is doing great back tucks, and twin 2 stuggling wiht them have twin 1 give a helpful tip (if she is willing).

As hard as it is, I try not to compare my daughters to each other. Gymnastics is DD1's thing, Dance is DD2's thing.. they both want to do both.. but right now I told them no, I dont want the competition between them I just would like them to be supportive of each other..

Good Luck...

Oh and Midwestgymmom - I used to make one Daughter pour the juice then let the other one pick which one she wanted.. that put an end to those fights!! LOL

 

[midwestgymmom]

midwestgymmom- I was cracking up at the fact you measured their juice cups!!:laughing: Just goes to show you how competitive kids can be!

Oh man after 12 yrs we still get the "how many did 'HE' have?" comments. :lol:

 

[ellabella]

My DD is too young to be competitive at 3.5. She has a cousin ( actually my cousin's child, so I'm not sure what that makes her) who goes with her, but is almost 6. They started at the same time and her cousin has progressed a bit faster. To me it is normal and expected. Her cousin has better coordination and maturity. She picks up instructions faster. My cousin is competitve with the two. She will make little comments that are not so nice. She even said "Well maybe gymnastics isn't her thing" when DD struggled to get that cartwheel. What do you do about that? I don't feel there is any competition between them. The age difference is too large to compare in my opinion. Then again my cousin is like that about everything. She's one of those people that if you tell her something she has to answer with something to top that. It's very annoying. Lucky for us they are moving and will be going to a different gym.

 

[GymTwinsMom]

ellabella- Me and my cousin were like that too, very competitive. But honestly, you are right there is a 2 1\2 age difference of course the 6 year old would be more mature, it is expected. I would always have to top my cousin at everything, gymnastics especially. Good that they are moving, because I would see more and more comparing as they get older.

 

[Mom to 2 gymnasts]

My girls are both gymnasts. My younger dd will compete as a 7 YO in L4 this fall. She is going into first grade. She started gymnastics at 2 1/2-3 years old. My oldes dd will compete as an 11 year old this year (she is almost 4 years older than younger dd) in L5 this year. She is going into sixth grade. She started gymnastics at 3 1/2. Our biggest hurdle (or so we thougth) was the fact that there was a chance my older dd was not going to get the skills to go to L5 and they would be in the same level. We thought this was going to be really hard for older dd to have 'baby' sis so close in level to her. Actually, we have been so paranoid about it we have actually prepared them really well. Like someone else said, be sure to point out that EVERYONE has different strengths and weaknesses (use you and their dad as an example). Focus on what they each do well and then help them show the other how to do things or how not to do things (see how she is arched, make sure you keep those abs tight---dd1 is learning as well as dd2) That can compensate if one has an easier time than the other. Ours have really learned to help eachother out and the rivalry has been really minimized (at least as far as gymnastics goes). SOme of it may have to do with age. When young, some girls just don't want to share the limelight with anyone. I thin kit is more how you act between the meltdowns that will help prevent them more so than what you say during...KWIM?

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

I'm kinda lucky in this area. My girls are 1 year apart, but good at very different things so they don't compete against each other - they really cheer each other on. dd2 used to do gymnastics but never loved it the way dd1 does and she thinks all the stuff her sister can do is really cool. dd2 is very creative and musical and dd1 is always complementing her on how good of a singer she is and how good she is with piano, etc. Of course if it were me and my sister when we were young - forget it - there would have been bloodshed, lol.

 

[GymTwinsMom]

flippymonkeysmom- Please loan me your daughters for a day so they can teach mine to be nice! LOL, but it's really nice how they are like sisters and friends. Thanks for the post.


Everyone- Thanks for the help, but it turned into something new... my daughters have twisted the advice around, so instead of saying what each of them are good at, they will make it seem that they are the best. I was "judging" a handstand competition in the backyard and when Lexi won all 3 times she said to Leah, " See Leah, toldja I would win. Even mommy and daddy thought so." Oh boy...

 

[Billy]

I think Mom to 2's suggestion sounds really good, particularly if your DDs are good at different things. Maybe they could kind of "coach" each other. Teaching creates learning as well as understanding so they'd both benefit from it.

 

[midwestgymmom]

I had to break up a fight once in the car... DD1 looked out DD2's Window .. that was a jolly one!


Oh and Midwestgymmom - I used to make one Daughter pour the juice then let the other one pick which one she wanted.. that put an end to those fights!! LOL

:rotfl:

Everyone- Thanks for the help, but it turned into something new... my daughters have twisted the advice around, so instead of saying what each of them are good at, they will make it seem that they are the best. I was "judging" a handstand competition in the backyard and when Lexi won all 3 times she said to Leah, " See Leah, toldja I would win. Even mommy and daddy thought so." Oh boy...

Uh oh!!
That could get ugly you have my twinsympathy
:fight:uch::neenerneener::fryingpan:

 

[GymTwinsMom]

Thanks for the twinsympathy midwestgymmom! I think its starting to work because they havent fought since the handstand competition. They have gymnastics tomorrow so we will see how it goes:goodvibes:

 

[midwestgymmom]

Thanks for the twinsympathy midwestgymmom! I think its starting to work because they havent fought since the handstand competition. They have gymnastics tomorrow so we will see how it goes:goodvibes:

Youre welcome!! :crossingfingers: