Women competitive drive

[luvmygymdtr]

There is an ongoing debate in the gymnastics circle I run around in about what role competitive drive plays in gymnastics.

My daughter (11; just finished her first year of optionals) completely lacks any sort of competitive drive. She is just as happy-go-lucky to leave a meet that she hasn't medaled in, or scored well in, than one she has. And loves to see her friends and team mates place as much as if she placed herself. I am thankful that I've never had to have the "be a good sport" talk with her, and frankly, she could probably teach a class on good sportsmanship. I am proud of this, but, frankly, we keep waiting for some twinkle of competitive drive to present itself.

The ongoing debate we parents continue to have is, can a gymnast be competitive if she never develops that drive? Or, does a care-free attitude actually help a gymnast progress further?

One side of the debate (and it usually comes from the parents with the less competitively driven kids) is, that with all other things being equal, if the drive to win is lacking, she will never be competitive.

The other side (coming from the parents with the highly competitive kids) is that sometimes being too competitive is not good, and can actually hold a kid back. That we should feel lucky she has this attitude, and that this attitude will actually be good for her to progress further, and keep her in the sport longer, therefore, making her more competitive.

I would love to know others thoughts on this...Thanks in advance.

 

[skschlag]

Your dd sounds a lot like my ds. Easy-going, able to laugh at himself. When he had 3 falls in a meet, he laughed and shrugged, and moved on. I have had parents at other gyms tell me that they love his attitude, and how he is gracious and kind no matter what he places. He has friends on many teams, and just has a great time at meets.

Personally, I think this will serve him well in this sport, and in life. I think he has some drive, and wants to do well, but realizes that one meet, one event, one year does not dictate who he is or how good he is. He knows that there will be more opportunities, more things to do.

I do see kiddos that are more intense, more driven. I have seem them mad on the podium because they came in 3rd. I have seen their parents stressed, the kid stressed. And I have seen many of them leave the sport because they are no longer 1st. We have a kid on our team like this now, and he had a rough year, and is considering quitting. It was all so easy before, and now , it is not, and he is so intense that he can't handle it.

Sometimes I wish my ds had a little more drive, but just a little. Most of the time, I sit back and realize that who he is has gotten him far, and I need to trust him to keep up with what he wants.

 

[iwannacoach]

I had a team kid who's "que sera sera" attitude dove me crazy because I saw potential in her that I felt she's never take advantage of. Oddly she just enjoyed doing gymnastics and her best and, as it turned out, part of her joy was to put together solid performances fo the judges. If she placed well she was happy, as long as she'd done a good routine, but if she placed well with a poor performance..... not so happy.

Really, she just wanted to see if she could do her routines looking great from top to bottom, and that's a great thing.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

I have had parents at other gyms tell me that they love his attitude, and how he is gracious and kind no matter what he places. He has friends on many teams, and just has a great time at meets.

Yup - this is my daughter. If I had a dollar for every time someone said "I love her attitude", and "how lucky we are". But it's usually after a meet where she's had some kind of disappointment. So, I've gotten to the point where I just nod politely. Don't get me wrong being gracious is kind is always important. But...

Sometimes I wish my ds had a little more drive, but just a little.

^^^ I couldn't agree with you more. I just keep hoping for a little spark....

We were with a group of friends last night, whose children compete in other sports, having this discussion and we concluded this drive is essential to athletic success.

Does a competitive drive have a tendency to "kick" in when a child gets older? or do I resign myself to this current temperament and just accept it?

 

[gymgymgymnast08]

I had/ have a competitive drive, but not in the way you would think. I couldn't have cared less about how I placed on the podium. Instead, I would care that I competed a new trick in competition. If I got last place on beam, but competed my side somi or my back tuck or my shusanova, I was happier then if I was 1st place on beam but had only competed the bare minimum.

Coaches who only saw me at competitions would comment on how they wished all of their gymnasts could have the same attitude that I had.

My coach in the gym and I really butted heads a lot because I would always be begging her to let me compete a harder trick and she was a fan of get up do the requirements and get off and get a higher score.

My teammates were probably annoyed with me a lot of the time too because if I saw someone else learning something, I had to learn it too.

I don't think you can teach a competitive drive, only manage one or manage the lack there of. As long as your gymmie is happy and healthy while doing gymnastics what else matters?

 

[skschlag]

See, I think my ds DOES have competitive drive. It just looks differently than others with competitive drive. It is more internal, less external. He works hard, and wants to win, but if he doesn't it isn't catastrophic. I do like that. I think, when I say I wish he ha da little bit of it, what I mean is that I wish he had a bit more focus. The desire is there, but not always the focus. But then again, he is an 11 yo boy....

 

[profmom]

I think it can work well in different ways for different kids. Both of mine care a LOT about how they do relative to their own standards. This year, DD has walked out of a meet with no medals but feeling really good and DS walked out feeling dissatisfied with himself after winning AA. The key for me is that, regardless of how they are feeling for themselves, they have to support their teammates. Fortunately, that's an easy one for both of them!