Conflicted with dd's newest goal.

[Esoteric]

Hello all, and thanks for reading. I am hoping to get a bit of input from both coaches and gymnasts and perhaps any parent experiences. I will start with a bit of background on my 8 yo.

About 2 years ago my dd started rec classes. She displayed talent and was moved up to the level 3 devo “pre-teamâ€￾ about 6 weeks later. She trained with the devo group and we were approached early fall of 2010 and asked if my dd would like to compete level 4 in spring of 2011. We talked, and she was thrilled. (She had previously been in dance and loved the recitals.) We agreed. When December came along, we were told she would not be moving because she was the only one “readyâ€￾ out of her devo group and it would not be good for her to go alone. She was bummed, but I trusted the coach’s experience and judgment. Along comes fall season 2011 and my dd was superb at competitions. In every meet she was in top 3 AA for child division and won bars at all but one meet. She took 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] AA and floor at state and 1[SUP]st[/SUP] on bars and 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] on beam. (For what it is worth, the 1[SUP]st[/SUP] place AA at states was her teammate who was a 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] year competitor.) Never once in the season did she receive an AA score below 36, and 5 of her 8 meets posted AA’s above 37.

My dd has always been goal oriented and intrinsically motivated. She was thrilled when, after fall states, she was able to up-train level 5 skills, because it enabled her to set new goals. She wanted to get her kip before the end of 2011, and she did. On the last practice of the year she popped up 6 straight arm kips. She is now doing kips at about a 50% success rate now that she got new grips, but her coaches tell her that the import thing is that she is doing them correctly when she does them. She has also recently put a BWO on beam with almost perfect success rate. She has decent front HS and RO BHSx2 and a decent dive roll on floor, cartwheel, full turn, BWO and 4 second handstands and dismounts on bars, is vaulting over the table with a decent block, and is working on fly aways on the pit bar.

I have always been supportive of dd’s goals. She writes them down and gives them to her coach and sets a date on her own calendar. She has met every goal she has set for herself, however, her most recent goal has me feeling a bit conflicted. DD has decided that for the 2012-2013 fall/spring season that she wants to compete level 5 and 6, 5 in the fall and 6 in the spring. I definitely think she is capable of this; however, this is a goal that is not entirely within her control. In the couple years we have been in the gym it has been made clear that this is not a “push through the levelsâ€￾ gym. I have often heard- “this is region 2, we do gym for fun not for the future.â€￾ While I respect that, and I would not allow my dd to stay in any sport if it was not fun, I know that my little one will become frustrated if she is not challenged.

When I asked her why she had this particular goal instead of her ususal “straight arm bar routine,â€￾ or “longer tumbling passâ€￾ goals, she offered 3 reasons: She already “mostly knowsâ€￾ both 5 and 6 routines and wants to get the remaining compulsories done before the new routines in 2013. She got bored doing the same level 4 stuff for over a year. She wants to be an optional by the time she is “double digits.â€￾ (Age 10.)
Only one of the level 4’s was moved up mid season to level 5- she was a second year competitor of level 4 and her mum is the parent club president. Interestingly, she was not the one who got 1[SUP]st[/SUP] place AA at states. This gym is not known for moving people mid season.

So, my question is this- should I support and encourage my dd with this goal? And if so, I assume that we would need to have a sit down with the coaches and be sure they are on board. I am not fearful that they will see me as a CGM, as I am a drop off/pick up mum who only stays if DD specifically requests that I observe a skill. There are several other gyms in the area that may be willing to work with my little one, but we are very happy with the coaches here and she enjoys her teammates. If her gym is not supportive of her goal, should I present the option of a different gym to my dd? I don’t want to be a gym jumper- and I know that the future is unwritten and we have no idea what might happen, but I want to support her in any way possible as long as she is happy and making healthy choices. Should I try to get her to drop this goal because there are so many variables?

Thanks so much for reading along this far- and thank in advance for a reply from those that do.

 

[maryRS]

I think at 8 I would just sit back and enjoy the ride. I would support her only to the extent that you are taking her to practices, paying for gymnastics etc. and making sure everything is reasonable and working with the rest of her life. I wouldn't mention all the variables and what iffs. I don't really think there is anything you need to discuss with the coaches about this. She seems like a very determined young girl who knows what she wants. I would let it play out for now, if it looks like she is staying on a fast track you will know it and the coaches will too.

Hello all, and thanks for reading. I am hoping to get a bit of input from both coaches and gymnasts and perhaps any parent experiences. I will start with a bit of background on my 8 yo.

About 2 years ago my dd started rec classes. She displayed talent and was moved up to the level 3 devo “pre-team” about 6 weeks later. She trained with the devo group and we were approached early fall of 2010 and asked if my dd would like to compete level 4 in spring of 2011. We talked, and she was thrilled. (She had previously been in dance and loved the recitals.) We agreed. When December came along, we were told she would not be moving because she was the only one “ready” out of her devo group and it would not be good for her to go alone. She was bummed, but I trusted the coach’s experience and judgment. Along comes fall season 2011 and my dd was superb at competitions. In every meet she was in top 3 AA for child division and won bars at all but one meet. She took 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] AA and floor at state and 1[SUP]st[/SUP] on bars and 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] on beam. (For what it is worth, the 1[SUP]st[/SUP] place AA at states was her teammate who was a 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] year competitor.) Never once in the season did she receive an AA score below 36, and 5 of her 8 meets posted AA’s above 37.

My dd has always been goal oriented and intrinsically motivated. She was thrilled when, after fall states, she was able to up-train level 5 skills, because it enabled her to set new goals. She wanted to get her kip before the end of 2011, and she did. On the last practice of the year she popped up 6 straight arm kips. She is now doing kips at about a 50% success rate now that she got new grips, but her coaches tell her that the import thing is that she is doing them correctly when she does them. She has also recently put a BWO on beam with almost perfect success rate. She has decent front HS and RO BHSx2 and a decent dive roll on floor, cartwheel, full turn, BWO and 4 second handstands and dismounts on bars, is vaulting over the table with a decent block, and is working on fly aways on the pit bar.

I have always been supportive of dd’s goals. She writes them down and gives them to her coach and sets a date on her own calendar. She has met every goal she has set for herself, however, her most recent goal has me feeling a bit conflicted. DD has decided that for the 2012-2013 fall/spring season that she wants to compete level 5 and 6, 5 in the fall and 6 in the spring. I definitely think she is capable of this; however, this is a goal that is not entirely within her control. In the couple years we have been in the gym it has been made clear that this is not a “push through the levels” gym. I have often heard- “this is region 2, we do gym for fun not for the future.” While I respect that, and I would not allow my dd to stay in any sport if it was not fun, I know that my little one will become frustrated if she is not challenged.

When I asked her why she had this particular goal instead of her ususal “straight arm bar routine,” or “longer tumbling pass” goals, she offered 3 reasons: She already “mostly knows” both 5 and 6 routines and wants to get the remaining compulsories done before the new routines in 2013. She got bored doing the same level 4 stuff for over a year. She wants to be an optional by the time she is “double digits.” (Age 10.)
Only one of the level 4’s was moved up mid season to level 5- she was a second year competitor of level 4 and her mum is the parent club president. Interestingly, she was not the one who got 1[SUP]st[/SUP] place AA at states. This gym is not known for moving people mid season.

So, my question is this- should I support and encourage my dd with this goal? And if so, I assume that we would need to have a sit down with the coaches and be sure they are on board. I am not fearful that they will see me as a CGM, as I am a drop off/pick up mum who only stays if DD specifically requests that I observe a skill. There are several other gyms in the area that may be willing to work with my little one, but we are very happy with the coaches here and she enjoys her teammates. If her gym is not supportive of her goal, should I present the option of a different gym to my dd? I don’t want to be a gym jumper- and I know that the future is unwritten and we have no idea what might happen, but I want to support her in any way possible as long as she is happy and making healthy choices. Should I try to get her to drop this goal because there are so many variables?

Thanks so much for reading along this far- and thank in advance for a reply from those that do.

 

[gym law mom]

Do you have a annual meeting with the coaches? If so, you could discuss it then when they talk about plans for the fall. I don't know that I would start talking about it now.
You might talk with her about short term goals that are obtainable such as 10 straight arm kips or something like that.

 

[thefellowsmom]

It sounds like you're dd is great at setting goals and meeting them. If she is sharing her goals with the coaches then I would let them work it out between them. If she asks for your support give it to her.

The one thing that caught my eye is that you coaches are telling you that in region two gym is just for fun, not the future. We are in region two as well and it may not be as competitive as some other regions and yes, if you wanted to make the national team you would probably need to move at some point, but there are quality gyms here that send kids to college on scholarships all the time.

In the end your dd will drive her own journey and there is really no reason to push too hard and fast, in fact many will say it is better not to. But, don't let them limit your daughter's dreams or potential just because she lives in region 2.

 

[NGL780309]

I would probably leave it alone. I don't know how your DD's gym works, but my DD's gym and most gyms I've had experience with don't move kids up levels just because that's what their goal is. It sounds like she's getting to do a fair amount of uptraining. The level a child is competing is really not that important if they are progressing skill wise, which it sounds like she is. Maybe you should tell her to focus on getting her level 5 skills perfect and get as many level 6 skills as possible and leave the rest up to the coaches. Explain to her that it's more than just having the skills. At many gyms it's about how many spots there are available in a particular level. Those things are beyond her control.

 

[NGL780309]

And just out of curiousty, how does an 8 year old know that the levels in compulsory are about to change? That sounds more like a parent driven goal to get the kids out of these levels before they change. I've heard a lot of that at our gym coming from the parents, which in turn is starting to be repeated by the kids. Kids IMHO shouldn't be concerned with this kind of stuff. Just let them do gymnastics and not worry what level they are or what level they will be next year.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree with the posters that have said to just let this play out. My DD, who is 8 and in Level 5, would love to move up to L6 next year. I think she will probably be ready. But I do not plan to have a talk with the coaches about my daughter's "goals" before hand. Coaches are coaches because they know what they are doing. They will move her up when they think she is ready. Just my two cents

 

[Esoteric]

Thank you all for your input.

The gym does not conduct meetings, per se. I was told that meetings would take place last fall with each family, but unless those consisted of periodic times when the coach stops me to chat when I come to pick up, they have not happened. Typically they tell me of some new skill she got or tell me to encourage her to do some specific stretch (like for higher releve or more flexible shoulders) at home. No goal setting takes place other than the notes my dd leaves in her coaches file.
I am aware of scholarship potential if my dd continues to enjoy and stick with the sport without any major injuries- but right now my only focus is her continued happiness with the sport she has chosen. Nothing was particularly directed toward me regarding the "fun not the future," it just seems to be the mantra- almost as if we are somehow blessed to live in a less competitive, (comparatively,) region.

Perhaps the original info my daughter received about the compulsory changes came from a parent, I honestly don't know. She came home around Thanksgiving chatting about it and when I inquired to her coach it was confirmed. The coach said all the girls are eager to hear new music, and that was that. It was not until the past week or so that my dd has been adamant that she not go through learning any of the new compulsories.

I completely understand about the space available within each level and maintaining a safe coach/gymnast ratio. I would never expect an exception to that to be made for anyone, including my daughter. I find it most interesting that she has stated this is her goal, but as far as I know, she has not been encouraged by anyone to come up with this- it is all self motivated. I guess my biggest concern is that she becomes incredibly frustrated when she is not challenged. Her coach knows this and went out of her way to stop us after practice to explain that although there were only 3 meets for level 4's this spring, that all up-training would be suspended the week prior to the meet to focus on routines. She assured my dd that all other times she could work on mastering new skills and has even encouraged her to come in for privates to work on skills they can't up-train with the other level 4's.

The other curious thing is that this goal- unlike all the others- she has NOT given a copy to her coach.
I think I will let it play out for a bit, but if she continues to articulate this goal after her 3 spring meets and moves up to level 5 (which she was already assured would happen,) I will encourage her to let her coaches know that that is what she is striving for. She is hard working and motivated and I know that as much as she loves standing on the podium, she is more appreciative of the positive feedback and encouragement she gets from the coaching staff.

Thank again.

 

[gymgurl]

Sounds like she is really motivated, maybe if she talked to her coach about it they would see that she really wants to move up and its not like she is being pushed by the coaches, if she vocalises her goal they may be more open to it. Try to prepare her for if they say no though

 

[CreateMagic]

Your daughter sounds both driven and very articulate for an 8-year-old. Many kids at that age do not have strong self-advocacy skills, but its a great time to encourage developing those.

That said, I'm going to go a bit in a different direction than most posters here. Do I think you should go and demand that this is what should be done? No. From what it sounds like, you trust your daughter's coaches and the path they've got her on. As a coach myself, I appreciate that. I will also say though too, that it probably wouldn't hurt for your daughter to explain her goals and reasoning to her coaches. Even if its a minute or two after class in the office. Have her give the letter to them and explain that this is what she'd like to do, but also that she trusts them to do what is best. As both a coach and a middle school teacher, I have always found it helpful to know what the goals and ambitions of my students are--it helps me to help them.

 

[gymgal]

Taking the "watch and wait" approach seems like a good idea. In a couple of months, have her approach her coach about her goals.

Some things to think about: how are the girls on the L6 team? Will she gel with them? Moving up on your own can be stressful and if the girls are clique-y then it could be a rough season. Especially if she is much young than them. Think ahead to the next level as well - will she be ready for the new Level 6 (now L7) that following year? I know that's hard to look so far in advance but there really is no reason to advance her mid season if she's just going to have to repeat it anyway because she's not ready for that next level. at that point she will have learn that new routine anyway... Remember - this will be giants, beam sequences, bhs on beam, etc. That is a lot of skills to train when there won't be much room for uptraining in her level 6 season.

That's not to discourage her but its not a light decision. We struggled for months with our decision to have dd skip a level (she's in prep-op). It has worked well for her but that's not always the case. And we know she may struggle in 7 next yr because she hasn't had that extra yr of perfecting skills. But for her, it was the best option.

Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk

 

[Esoteric]

Thank you so much for your coaches input, Create Magic. I am going to not inquire any more, but listen to what she says carefully. She has 3 more level 4 meets to get through, and after that I will definitely help teach my daughter how to continue to advocate for herself. It is interesting that my two daughters really could not be more different personality wise, yet they are both very future oriented. Both a blessing and a curse.

Gymgal, I definitely appreciate your advice of experience. DD was given dowel grips to break in because it is expected she'll be doing giants very soon. She takes to the bars like a fish to water and has been casting to handstand for several months, much to everyone's astonishment -and my horror. She has been sneaking BHS step outs on a line at home, (I have a no tumbling in the house rule,) with the hopes of putting one on the beam sooner as opposed to later. She "figured out" that the beam blocks many girls have is all based on the height issue and told me when I got nervous about her doing backwalkovers that all she had to do was trust her body and not listen to her head and she would be fine. You can actually see her lips moving, saying to herself "trust my body" before her BWO's. As far as getting along with people, she does great, but I understand the clique thing. I don't think she is aware of any cliques- but wherever there are throngs of girls, they do exist.
I have often wished that she would try a different sport so that she could participate in "normal" school and friend activities, but whenever I suggest trying something, or even suggest skipping Friday practice for a sleep over. she emphatically says NO!
My older daughter gave up gymnastics for a rigorous academic program and now does roller derby, of all things.
I am sort of along for the ride. Her coach video tapes new skills and I get to see some things I missed by not hanging out on the bleachers- but other than that, the extent of my involvement is one of chauffeur and banker. =)
Thanks again, everyone. I have been browsing these forums off and on for the past couple years, but haven't posted much. I will keep you posted, though.