Parents crazy parents

[sally]

just wanting to know how do parents handle parents that are crazy. We have a parent that is always writing formal complaints about children and adults. One complaint the person made was so stupid I couldn't believe that she would waste her time writing it. It was about height, and she said that people were sayig that people to tall will get kicked out. There was nothing like that ever said, just talking in general about heights, she has lied about the whole discussion. Nothing was ever done about it but it is really annoying that she would even bother, or just trying to get people in trouble. She even wrote a complaint about the coach!. Saying that her daughter is picked on , which just isn't the case. I am not sure how to handle the situation, as I don't even want to speak with her in case she writes something about me. Honestly I don't know how she could even show her face. I would feel so embarrased.

 

[bogwoppit]

Ignore her completely. Some people are just crazy, and not just in the gym, don't get involved and she will move onto another unsuspecting gym.

 

[coachinkal]

I agree, totally ignore her.

What goes around comes around.

Don't waste your energy getting caught up in the drama.

 

[gym monkeys mom]

Most really odd people like that just want attention.

I have found some people live from 1 drama to the next and lots of the drama they create.

Be nice. but ognore any gossipy drama, they will be some bored and leave.

Best wishes on this.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I agree with the others. Completely ignore her and do not get wrapped up in her drama. Some people are crisis-oriented where they have to seek out drama because that is "normal" to them. It is best to stay away from these types of people.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

It will blow over either by her not gettin the attention she wants and leaving or the gym kicking her out. You can't be the only one who knows she is crazy. Ignore it and be patient!

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

sooner or later the gym will be sick of her formal complaits and or someone will make one up about her!

I agree just stay far from her

 

[cathiann]

sooner or later the gym will be sick of her formal complaits and or someone will make one up about her!

I agree just stay far from her

Yup, just ignore her entirely. And, really, writing a formal complaint?? Who would even think of doing that??

 

[3stars]

I agree, ignore, ignore, ignore. Side note - who has time to write that many formal complaints about absolute nonsense? I must be doing something wrong with my time management.

 

[Blackie6]

There are quite a few posts about CRAZY parents right now...there must be an epidemic! I agree w/ what others said.....stay away from her. They eventually weed themselves out. My DD has been in gym since she was about 4 and will be starting her 4th yr of competing. Most of these wackadoodles are in the lower levels and usually new parents who think it's a sprint to the Olympic gold medal for their DD's. Once they've figured out drama gets them nowhere, they either quit or become gym hoppers looking for anyone who will give in to their demands. While fat wallets usually look attractive to gym owners at first, letter writters, chronic e-mailers and whinners eventually get the boot anyway. Be nice, try to make the best of it when you have too, but stay away and don't participate in any of her complaint sessions, LOL

 

[sally]

thanks for that. I will be doing that.

 

[dan83]

Ignore her

and she will leave.

 

[AGM78910]

There are quite a few posts about CRAZY parents right now...there must be an epidemic! I agree w/ what others said.....stay away from her. They eventually weed themselves out. My DD has been in gym since she was about 4 and will be starting her 4th yr of competing. Most of these wackadoodles are in the lower levels and usually new parents who think it's a sprint to the Olympic gold medal for their DD's. Once they've figured out drama gets them nowhere, they either quit or become gym hoppers looking for anyone who will give in to their demands. While fat wallets usually look attractive to gym owners at first, letter writters, chronic e-mailers and whinners eventually get the boot anyway. Be nice, try to make the best of it when you have too, but stay away and don't participate in any of her complaint sessions, LOL

We had a drama mama at our gym also. Her kid was a sweetie, though. She eventually left when no one would talk to her to go to another gym. Now I hear from friends at that gym that she is continuing her drama and they wish she and her daughter had stayed at our gym. LOL

 

[NOG]

Oh wow! That parent is a nutball! I agree with the others...stay FAR, FAR AWAY! I would politely excuse yourself whenever she's in your vicinity. Even if you have to pretend to take a phone call...then find a different area when possible. Engaging with that parent at all will only be a huge hassle all the way around.

AVOID/IGNORE is the best policy here.

 

[Gymgirlz]

Well I don't think ignoring and avoiding her is a very nice thing to do!! We are grown adults for goodness sakes and not in high school anymore. Just talk to her about it! I'm wondering why she is writing in a complaints instead of verbalizing it like most do? If no one has asked her about it than you would be going on an assumption of what was said. Have the mom's not been very nice to her? Is her daughter tall? is it possible she was offended by the remarks that she heard? Do the girls treat her daughter badly? How do you know what she wrote did you see it or is it all just hear say? I think it would be best to ask her directly! You could always write her a note too if you don't feel like you could approach her. It really isn't nice to just avoid and ignore her on something so silly that could possibly all be worked out and explained! Its not right to try to DRIVE anyone out of the gym, they are paying for there daughter to train there, If its really that bad & you don't think you can get along with them than you should be the one to leave!

 

[bogwoppit]

After 10 years in the gym with my own girls I learned very early on that there is no helping the really crazy parents. They are self destructive and they will suck you in and implicate you in the problems they create.

It is not high school for sure, but ignoring is the technique that many experts would advocate when you do not want to reinforce negative behaviour. By acknowledging their "issues" with verbal discourse you are validating them and therefore encouraging the "crazy" to continue.

The coaches work out very quickly who the crazy folk are, they have seen it many times and they can spot them very quickly. It isn't the parents job to fix these things, it is the gym managements job to keep parents respectful or eject them from the gym.

Now if this was happening in your place of work my response would be very different, but this isn't your jo or, your home, it is your childs gym. Step back and let the coaches do their jobs, if it is unbearable let the owner/head coach know and let them do what they are paid to do.

 

[NOG]

By Avoid/ignore, I don't think that anyone here is suggesting that whenever that parent walks in, that you should walk out. What I meant by that was... Avoid/Ignore that parent when she is in one of her rants-or whatever you want to call it, but to otherwise be polite and not engage her/encourage her behavior. I wasn't suggesting that she should be given the cold shoulder and that you should be a complete snot. There is a difference between avoiding if at all possible while still being polite , as opposed to creating more drama by giving someone the cold shoulder. I thought that everyone understood the avoid/ignore manuever, I should have been more clear. When there is a drama mama (don't care where it's at..gym, workplace {assuming you're not management and are only an employee}, the shopping mall, whatever), engaging and their drama makes life much more difficult.

Gym is supposed to be a fun thing for your dd, and not be a stress factor for you - I would much rather enjoy my time watching/supporting dd and her teammates, not worry about if I was saying exactly the right thing so as not to offend someone and have a letter written about me. If that parent has issues (which she apparently has to many to voice, as she keeps writing letters) then the gym management, coaches should handle it. I'm wondering why this parent is constantly writing complaints instead of talking about whatever the problem is, are the coaches/management SO unapproachable that she can't just go to them? Or has she just complained so much that they're tired of listening?

By all means, if the issue involved you directly or your dd, then have a sit down with that parent and try to resolve it. ***I got the impression that none of this drama involves you personally and so by engaging the drama mama, you would be involving yourself where there is no need. I also (rightly or not) got the impression that this parent is in general not a nice person to be around - very negative most of the time - and that can suck the life out a person. By all means if that parent is otherwise the sweetest person in the lobby, then you make the decision as to whether to get involved with her or not. Just be careful to not get sucked into the line of fire, Life is too short to be caught up in someone else's drama/issues. Not being Superman, there is no need to try to "fix for a lack of a better word" everyone else's problems.

 

[Gymgirlz]

I agree that it is a good idea to steer clear and keep yourself out of any sort of "drama", but in this situation I don't think that was the case. Its a little hard to figure out with only one side of the story. We don't really know what is going on with the other parent and why she is writing in her complaints, it just makes you think she is not comfortable speaking to someone about it. I don't think it makes her crazy. Not enough info is provided about the mom in this case but I'm sure if she is not happy in the gym she will go somewhere where she and her dd feel welcome.

 

[sally]

update on the crazy parent. Just to let you know your advice turned out correct. This morning at training we just found out that the girl has quit. I was nearly cheering as was the other parents. I do feel kind of sad for the child, but the mother was such a fruit cake that for that I was happy to hear that news.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

The thing to keep in mind is that she's stuck with her crazy. You can ignore her or avoid her, but she can't ignore and avoid herself. When she moves gyms, the crazy will sadly move right along with her.