Parents dazed & confused

[gymmomntc2e6]

So, on the way home from picking my dd up at the school bus she drops a bomb

" I want to quit gymnastics and do soccer"

Keep in mind this is the same girl that had to be carried out of practice (at a minimum of 30 min after it ended ) every day last week ( and that is how it is most weeks ). Told her coach last week she wanted to practice cast handstands, and did. Thought they were awesome. Same kid who got her mill circle after months of trying on Thursday. Same kid who LOVES to help the coaches by demonstrating things to the rec. kids.

She told a couple of mom's at the gym - their response was "you're joking?" " who put that in her head?" and in private " is it $?"

By last night she was saying she wanted to do both, but maybe only because I gave her a good talking to because she was blabbing it to other kids in her group and parents but would not tell coach. I told her if she wasn't going to tell coach she wasn't to tell anyone because of coach hears it from someone else first her feelings will be hurt. She then went back and told all her friends she was not quiting that she would do both.

I did talk to a couple of parents to make sure that I am not an idiot who just THINKS my daughter is having fun . They said that they could not believe it came out of her mouth, of all the kids she is the one they least expected would even think of quiting.

Any idea of what I should do. I did tell her she cannot quit until after the final meet and recital because her teammates are counting on her, but after that if she wants to she can. I looked up soccer today and it is not until fall, so we should be ok for a while.

It just came out of nowhere. I even had to pull her out of the gym last night, even after she has said she wants to quit, she won't leave.

HELP !!!!!!!!!!

 

[Aussie_coach]

Don't worry that is really common. I mean we go through it as adults to, do you ever just have a day where you get the urge to just stop, throw the towle in and do something else completly. maybe craving a little change, or dealing with a little frustration. I think as a child there were always time I wanted to quit things and mum would say, see the season out. And what do you know, by the end of the season I never wanted to quit anymore and was counting down the sleeps till the new year.

Sometimes talking about quiting and doing something else, can be a little exciting, create a little drama. Girls love drama!

 

[Livinatthegym]

We had a level 4 state AA champion do the same thing. Our compulsory state is in December. In April, she just quit to go play soccer. Great athlete. Always had fun in the gym, just decided to be done.

So, take a deep breath. It's not the end of anybody's world if she'd rather play team sports. Soccer is good exercise and has lessons all it's own.

Your dd is still quite young, right? A break from the gym at her age would not be the end of her career. My dd1 took a 2 year break between ages 7 and 9. In the end, she outlasted most of the girls who started young. Dd1 was one of the few girls still doing gymnastics when she started high school. When you look at national stats, you'll see just how rare that is in USAG. I don't think she'd have stayed in as long or gone as far without the break.

You are totally right, though, to make her finish what she's started (competative season and recital). I would probably let her enroll is some kind of soccer league after the season is over, but keep her at the gym, maybe not in her current competative level, but at least in a rec class or two. Then, when the 8 week soccer season is over, if she decides, wow, leaving team was a huge mistake, she can move easily back in. Tell the coaches what you're doing (giving her the chance to try another activity she's interested in). They should be understanding, especially if they're parents themselves.

Your dd might be satisfied simply knowing she can choose to do other activities, with your blessing, and decide she doesn't want to try soccer after all. She may change her mind and decide to forge ahead with gymnastics before the season is over. She may take a little break and go back. Whatever happens, you want her to feel like the decision to stay or go is hers, that she's not letting anybody down if she wants to try something new, and that you're behind her all the way no matter what she does.

I love gymnastics and have had a great 5 years as the parent of a competative gymnast, but I'm also looking forward to joining band parents, and being a dance team parent, and a track or cross country parent.

You and your dd are going to be fine as long as you let her follow her heart, even if if takes a few detours.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

We are in wait and see mode I guess.

I am certainly not going to make her stay in gym if she does not want to. And I have told her I will check into soccer. Soccer season does not start until fall, so by then she may change her mind, may not.

I think my main issue at this point is just the shock. I expected at some point she would stop (although just a few weeks ago she told us she would do gymnastics until she was 99 yrs old but not when she was 100 because she would be too old !!! LOL) and then BOOM, wants to quit. I think I would feel more secure in this if she actually had seemed to not be loving it - yet even last night she had to be forced to leave.

I am just as my original post said Dazed & Confused. But, it is her choice. I just want her happy. I guess I just thought I would have warning signs !!!

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

Both of my girls did gymnastics when they were young. My oldest always stuck with it and loves it. My younger daughter, truthfully, of the two probably had more natural talent, flexibility, etc.- I too was shocked when she said she no longer wanted to do gym. She has had a blast doing so many different things though - she has done gymnastics, cheerleading, soccer, ice skating, theater classes, and I know a bunch more I can't think of right now. Occasionally she would go back to gym for a while, but never wanted that serious commitment (I feel bad for her future boyfriends, lol). Anyway, now after trying numerous things she has settled on soccer (for now) and absolutely loves it. She really enjoys being on a team sport vs. something more individual.

Since your dd is still so young, I would just give her plenty of opportunities to try other things so if she does choose to go on with gymnastics she will know it is what she wants to do, and that she isn't just doing it because it is the only thing she's ever done. Experiencing lots of things is part of being a kid. I've made my oldest try some other things when she was younger - but she never really liked any of them and would always rather be in the gym. Now she knows she is where she wants to be.

 

[Livinatthegym]

I get the shocked part. I was really surprised when dd2 announced that she wanted to be done. This was the kid that loved gymnastics so much that she wouldn't consider leaving even though she was consistantly earning last place as a rookie level 6. This year, she had a really good year as a 7. Won every individual event at least once, won AA titles twice, won the state vault title. And THIS YEAR she decides, yep, she's done.

I probably asked her a million times if she was sure (at least often enough that she asked if I was mad at her for wanting to quit--oops, not the impression I wanted to give her).

So, yeah, I get the surprise because I thought there'd be warning signs, too. There certainly were with dd1. Of course, by the time fall rolls around, this may all be water under the bridge. You nailed it when you said you were in wait and see mode.

 

[Billy]

On thing may be that she doesn't realize she can do both. She may think she has to completely quit gymnastics in order to try out soccer. She may think they're "all or nothing" when actually she wants to do both. Is that an option?

 

[momof5]

She probably still loves gymnastics but wants to try other things. She might either think that she can't do both or with the gymnastics commitment timewise there isn't time to do both. Kids at this age want to try may different things. To see where their interest lie. She probably hears all the kids at school talk about soccer and wants to do what they are doing. If possible try letting her do both. At our house we have a 2 activity rule. My kids can pick 2. This lets them stay with one they love while trying out new interests. In the years my dd has done gym she has also tried Tae kwondo, tap, ballet and soccer. She started all these activites very enthusiatically and by the time she was done with the commitment usually done with the activity but it has given her an opportunity to explore many different things.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

We are going to look into the possibility of doing both. Issues are it will likely put her doing something EVERY night. The other concern would be soccer games and meets that are scheduled the same day.

We will, I guess, cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

My daughter has also gone through this 3 years in a row everytime in the spring. When she was 5 and 6 I just ignored her continued to take her to gym and she got over it. This year she was put on the level 4 team. and she also had difficulty with bars. She did not qualify for states and wanted to quit. I made her finish out the meet season and she got her bar skills and did well her last 2 meets which were after states. She still wanted to quit so I took her to a recreational class at another gym. She stayed out of her old gym for a week. After a week she broke down and tod me she wants to go back to her team at her old gym. It has been 2 weeks and she is happier and more motivated. She is looking forward to doing the summer program which 20 hours a week. Orginally when she wanted to quit she said she wanted to do cheerleading and swimming, she has willingly given up alot for gymnnastics but now she only wants to do gymnastics. I talked to the owner this is very common she said sometimes they have fear or fustration. Maybe talk to her coach and give her a couple days off she probally will miss it and it will change her outlook. I felt quilty making her continue but when she is being dragged out of the gym and constantly doing gymnastics at home does she really want to quit? I sympathize with you because other people not in gymnastics do not understand they think just let her quit. They do not understand the time and money you put into the sport, if they quit for a year it can really set them back they may lose their skills and the sport is dominated by younger girls. Good luck I am sure she will come around.

 

[melmonette]

I think it is because so many kids talk about soccer... I personally can't stand soccer but I let Emily do it one season when she just had moved up to team. She loved it... I hated it. But after it was over, gymnastics competition was just starting and well... sometimes she says she wants to play soccer but most of the time...gymnastics is the only thing she wants... Yesterday after her original goal was to eventually be a college gymnast... She switched to the bigger goal and even more ambitious of being an elite gymnast and trying to hit those olympics.. I was like... yikes.. I hope DH can get a monster huge raise and then laughed it off as those goals while possible are still very hard to reach but I can let her dream and she will be a better gymnast

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I think there comes a time when every gymnast wants or thinks they should do something else. They hear about all the other things their friends are doing while they are spending hours upon hours training at the gym. It could be,as someone suggested, that your DD doesn't know she can do both gym & soccer.

This Spring, my oldest who is 11 yr old Level 7 announced she wanted to join the soccer team. She had no intentions of leaving gym though. Luckily (for me) the team she would join (U-12 girls traveling team) had a full roster so she couldn't play. Now she and little DD both have decided they want to do cheerleading b/c our town has a competition team and they have been hearing about it from their friends for years. Neither want to leave gym so we are going to have to do some creative juggling. The up side is that the competition cheering ends 1st wkend in Dec. Their gymnastics seasons won't start till Jan 09 (most likely little DD will stay another yr at L5 and coach wants big DD to move up to L8). We are going to let them do it this once to "get it out of their system". I don't want them to resent the fact that they never had a chance to do another sport.